This Woman's Worth

01 December 2006


"'Twas the month before Christmas and all through the town,Not a Tiger fan was stirring, not one could be found.Christmas was coming, but no one could care,The stench of defeat still hung in the air.Coach Bowden was tossing, sleepless in bed,While visions of Gamecocks still danced in his head.He was wearing his cap, which read, "Go Crimson Tide!"And trying to forget how his season had died.When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,He sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.He stood at the window, his lower lip quivered,The lesson was hard the Ol' Ball Coach delivered.The moon on the breast of the Death Valley grass,Showed Gamecock footprints from the game that had passed.When, what did he see while adjusting his hat,But a great Cock-a-boose, pulled by ragged, orange cats.With a cool-handed driver, not a sweat did he break,Bowden knew in a moment, it must be St. Blake.The cats were so tired, they pulled with a strain,So Blake beat them and shouted, and called them by name.Now, Proctor! Now, CJ! Now, Reggie and James!On, Stuckey! On, Adams! On, Gaddis and Duane!We'll ride through the Valley again 'fore I'm done,And rub that old rock one more time, just for fun.As the footballs within the wild "Cock and Fire" fly, Dumbfounding theDB's, as they watch them go by,Around and around, the poor Tigers flew,With a Cock-a-boose full of Gamecocks, and Blake Mitchell too!Then the Gamecocks stood guard o'er the Tigers out back,As they painted poor Tommy's house garnet and black.As Bowden drew in his hand, and was turning around,The Ghost of Steve Spurrier was seen floating down.He was dressed all in fur from his toes to his chin,He had made a new coat from some old Tiger skins.Several more Tigers, he had flung on his back,Jacoby, Jad Dean and Davis, in fact.His eyes - how they twinkled! His countenance - how merry!He was thinking of the team his young Gamecocks had buried.Then suddenly above the Great Spectre appeared,The names of all the coaches he had whipped through the years.The victory torches still smoldered beneath,And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.But Tommy stood blank-faced, his stomach still queasy,He knew that next year was not going to be easy.He was sad and disgruntled, a mere shell of a man,And Steve laughed when he saw him, and thought of HIS FANS.They stood face to face, Bowden wanted to run.He could hear the theme song from 2001.The Ghost spoke not a word, but went straight to his plan,Leaving Tanneyhill bobbleheads for all those at hand.And raising his visor in salute as on cue,He said, "See ya next year!", and he faded from view.Blake sprang to the Cock-a-boose, to the cats said, "Let's go!", TheTigers all cried saying, "No, Blake, please no!"But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove through the gate,"Happy Christmas to all, 31 - 28!"GO GAMECOCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

20 November 2006


It's Monday. My first thought was, I have three days to get all this work done before the holidays. My second was, guess I'll be working towards overtime, cuz I don't have enough time in one day to get all this crap done! Then I hear, we're having our office Thanksgiving luncheon today! My ears perked up and was so damn happy!

I have NO money, because Bank of America screwed up my paycheck 3 weeks ago! I got paid last week, but that entire check had to go to bills. How did BoA screw up my check? 15 years of having my paychecks have my first name, middle initial, and last name on them, BoA has never said anything. My account has my middle and last name on it. BUT... on Nov. 1, all of a sudden BoA has a problem with the name on my paycheck being different from the name on my account. They rejected my check. They rejected my check AFTER I paid my storage fee and paid other bills the day I deposited my check! They rejected my check the night after I deposited my check AND paid bills! I found out that the damn bank rejected my check the next day! I go into the bank and I'm sent to customer service.

What does customer service do for me? Not a damn thing!!! After I explained and explained what happened, the cs lady FINALLY decided to write down the expenses so that she could credit any overdraft fees I may incur. Did that help? That day, yes! A week later, I look at my account and it says I owe the bank almost $400!!! WHAT!?!@?!? I don't think so.

Meanwhile, the check that the bank claims the ATM service mailed to me has yet to arrive in my mailbox!

I go BACK to the bank to let them know they are screwing up. They tell me, "Well, we refunded you one overdraft fee as a favor."

Boy, I had to say a quick prayer, because I was about to go off on this MidEastern female dog! I reminded her of what she had agreed to do for me, and informed her that the check she told me the bank would cover had been returned. So... the bank had screwed me again! Her response, "Well, I don't know what to tell you. We can't do anything."

I asked for her branch manager. She's not in today, she'll be in tomorrow.

Finally, after I told her, two weeks after they rejected my check, the day of my second of the month payday, that she was NOT getting any of my money, she decided that she would call her branch manager. Branch manager made the decision that the bank would refund ALL, did I say ALL, yes, I said ALL, of the overdraft fees! Ok... I'm good with that!

CS Lady asked me if I was going to deposit my check. Ummm... NO! Until all the fees are refunded and I can see it posted in/on my account, the bank is getting NONE of my money. She asked me if I wanted to open a savings account to put my money in until they get things straight with my checking account. NO! She further went on to explain to me that my check would not be forwarded to me in the mail, because it's a signed live check. The "ATM service" mailed my check to my old address.


My check arrived IN THE MAIL at MY NEW ADDRESS on Friday. Bank of America is claiming that it's not THEIR fault that my check was rejected. No one called me to let me know, either. They just rejected the check and mailed it to me. A LIVE CHECK IN THE MAIL. SCARY!!! So, my check arrived in the mail on Friday! Which means my check was forwarded to me! It arrived in TWO, count them, TWO BANK OF AMERICA envelopes! haha So, I have my check AND the TWO BoA envelopes to take to the bank today! I'ma let them know that it WAS their fault! AND... I'm closing my account with BoA.

Customer Service Lady asked me when I addressed the issue the first day if I would make referrals to BoA. It was all I could do to NOT laugh in her face. I told her, "We'll see how you handle this situation." Based on what you've read, what do you think my verdict is?

It's Monday. They have refunded all but ONE overdraft fee. They refunded the money for my returned check, but they have NOT refunded the overdraft fee for my check! I'm like WTF! How hard is it? Plus, the check was returned to me! No longer is that the banks fault unless they just wanna give me a free $89! haha


It's Monday. The office had our Thanksgiving Dinner. Everyone brought food... well... not everyone! haha I didn't know about it. But I did eat! haha The food was really good. I've been impressed.

However, I've been experiencing this strange pain in the left upper part of my ribcage, right below my boob. I don't know if it's acid reflux, indigestion, or my gall bladder. I've talked to several people who told me they had the same kind of pain and that the doctors found that it was their gall bladder. Ummm... I don't have the time to take for gall bladder surgery. haha WTF does a gall bladder do anyway? I know you can live without it, but if we don't need it, why do we have one? Same for the appendix. I had that removed at 16.

Just know that as I end this post, that pain is getting worse! I've tried TUMS and Zantac. Neither work!

02 November 2006


It's a beautiful Fall day outside, although the temperature might prove differently! The leaves have started to change and fall, FINALLY! The sun is shining and we have all been given another day to breathe! Did any of you get to witness the night sky last night? It was gorgeous! The 3/4 moon with patchy clouds around it and passing over the moon made for a beautiful November night. I can't wait to see the Fall sky during the next Full Moon. We seem to take the small things for granted: smiles, thank you's, pats on the back, our environment, the presence of other people, our loved ones, etc. If any of the small things were absent from your everyday life, how would it affect you? Let's try to remember that it's the SMALL things that seem to make one's day brighter. Has anyone noticed that the sky is not the same everyday? Take time to observe your environment (inside and out) and be a witness to the awesome things that have been placed before you and for you. You never know what might change your day for the better and where you may find a peace of mind! I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL and PRODUCTIVE Thirsty Thursday! It's almost Friday! Smile!

04 October 2006


Hey fellow bloggers!

It's been a long time, I know, but.... I'm still alive, kicking, breathing, and loving life!

I started my new job in August and am still loving it! Child Protective Services (CPS) is never dull. And I get to work with the Foster Care Unit as well.

Today, I get to see how much I can type and get across within a 15 minute break period.

What have I been up to lately?

Well, I started and ended a relationship. He was married. WTH?

And, recently, I was reunited with an old friend from college. I went to the club approx. 3 weeks ago. The club's name is Club RA here in Columbia, SC. The clubs down here don't even compare to the clubs in DC and Baltimore. I miss it so much up there! I can't wait to get back!!!

So, back to my old friend.

My girl and I got to the club, were on our second round of drinks, standing next to the cage and watching people dance when I hear, "Is that Aaaaaa..." As I turn around I see this familiar face standing next to my girl's boy and the Aaaaa is completed into Ashley.

What? Who? No Way! That's..... enter his name here....!!!! We hugged and I promise you it wasn't that friendly "Hey! How have you been? I can't believe you're here!" type hug. It was a "It's really you! I've missed you so much! I'm so glad to see you! Don't let go of me this time!" movie scene hug. And it felt so good. It felt RIGHT. It felt like we belonged in that embrace forever.

BUT! HOLD UP! I remember something very important here!

Ok... gotta give him a name... we'll call him AC, because he attended Anderson College.

"AC," as I'm looking at his left hand, "how's your marriage?"

The last time I saw him, which was 9 years ago, he was engaged. Although I saw no ring on his left hand, which means NOTHING nowadays, and no marks that a ring has been on his hand for the past few sunny days.

"Ash, it just didn't work. I'm not divorced, but we are separated. She has our sons and she has a boyfriend."

And, he's been in my apartment since that Sat. night. And things have been GREAT! I've met his two sons, who are absolutely adorable, loveable, and handsome just like their daddy! She saw me for the first time last night. BUT... she acted like she didn't. I think she just wanted to know what I look like, which is cool. I can deal with that.

AC and I have spent so much time together and haven't gotten sick of each other, yet. Maybe it's the newness, BUT... well... I guess it can be new even though you've known each other for years.

What's strange is that a month prior, I was riding down I-20 to the northeast side of town to visit the family. Five miles from my exit I pass this black Dodge Durango and looked at the driver as I rode past. Man, this male was FOINE! We're talking Michael Eady FOINE!!! As I passed him, he sped up. As he passed me, we stared at each other. We did this, passing back and forth and giving each other the eye thing, all 5 miles. As the exit approached, I passed him again, jumped in front of him, and threw on my blinker in plenty of time to let him know that he could follow me if he wanted. He didn't. He rode past, staring the entire way.

The Saturday night AC and I reunited, he asked me, "Ashley, do you drive a Blazer?"

I drive a black GMC Envoy, 1998, that looks like a Blazer. A month prior to me and AC reuniting, we were driving the same interstate flirting with one another.

AC told me, "When I saw you driving, all I could think was, IS THAT ASHLEY? I started to get off the exit with you, but I had my sons with me. If it hadn't been you, I wouldn't want some crazy chick to go off on me in front of my sons. So, after you exited, I just said, IF IT'S HER, I'LL SEE HER AGAIN." And here we are.

Neither of us has forgotten about the other in 9 years. And AC doesn't remember everyone. I wonder what that means. I'm taking every day by the day and enjoying every moment I have with him.

However, I'm packing up my apartment to move in with my parents so that I can save money, get out of debt, go back to school, and enjoy life a lil more afterwards. I'm not looking forward to the withdrawal I'm going to experience come Oct. 10. I've grown accustomed to waking up in the mornings to him, seeing him after work, coming home to him after work, falling asleep next to him, and talking about any and everything with him. I'll miss his company/presence while living with my parents, but he's reassured me that we'll continue to do what we do no matter where I live. He keeps telling me that I'll be done with him before he's done with me. He said that all the girls stop talking to him because they get bored. I'm thinking... he and I have history, we respect each other, and I know how happy I am with him. I'm not going anydamnwhere!!!! But... I'ma just keep enjoying things and having fun!

So... there's the update on my life. I'm going to try to do better with blogging.

I have a lot to blog about, my parents, the anniversary of my sister's death, moving, etc... but... I have to find the time. And... maybe my 15 minute breaks can be that....

A word of advice from a DSS CPS treatment worker. If you can't provide for your child like you should or doubt your parenting skills, don't have any kids. It's not fair to the children. What I've seen in the past two months... certain people deserve to have their children removed because they are suckass parents!

fyi... I am so glad that I can listen to WPGC 95.5FM! It makes me feel like I'm closer to DC. Are there any other radio stations that are streaming in the DC/B'more area? If so, PLEASE let me know!

31 July 2006

Personal Safety

Wow! It's been a LONG minute since I've posted. Sorry I've been away so long, but... now that there is a new chapter beginning in my life... I'm feeling the need to blog.

I'm in between jobs right now. Yes! I've found a new job and have quit my old bullshit job. I start working as a child protective services case worker with the department of social services on Wednesday. I've been out of work since Thurs, and have actually enjoyed my time off. I really wish I didn't have to work, because I love being home and I love running around getting things accomplished during the day. BUT I gotta work to live, so back to work I go on Wednesday. I hope I'll enjoy my new job. It's, also, gonna allow me to be able to go back to school and change my career! So, atleast there's already a positive to the new gig.

I vacationed with the family in the mountains of NC for the week of the 4th of July. I enjoyed it, but it felt very strange with my older sis not around. Tears were shed throughout the week as we all missed her.

The Friday before we left for our vacation, I met someone. A guy. We talked via telephone all through my vacation, and have been seeing each other since I got back. That's all I'm telling you.

I learned something new about my life, recently. Something my mom has kept from me for 29 years. While I was thanking my mom for teaching me the importance and safety of wearing a seatbelt, explaining to my nephew how a seatbelt works, and bitching about all these parents I watch driving around without their kids safety in mind, my mom decided to tell me of why she started using carseats while I was a baby and of why she taught me and my younger sis to wear seatbelts. My mom told me she was driving somewhere with her best friend and her best friend was holding me in her lap in the front seat. I was a toddler. So, this would have been the late '70s when no one was wearing seatbelts and they didn't understand the importance of carseats for babies. She cont'd to tell me that she had to slam on brakes, because someone pulled out in front of her and as the car stopped, she watched me continue to move forward to the windshield. She said her bestfriend caught me and pulled me back, and that the next place I was put when the car was in motion was a carseat. In other words, I was that baby. I was that baby that almost went through the windshield and died, because I was not in a carseat.

I can't tell you how many times a day I see people riding with their babies in their arms, babies and children crawling around in the backseat, or in the front seat without a seatbelt. Some parents even allow their small children to ride in the front seat knowing that if the airbag is released, it can kill that child. I just don't get it! Don't these people love their children? If they do, then why are they not providing them with safety when riding in a vehicle? Yes, there is the concern of the child being trapped and not being able to get out of the vehicle in an emergency, but would you rather jeopardize your child's life and watch them be flung from your car and killed instantly instead of watching them live through an accident so that you can watch them smile and laugh and play another day?

How do seatbelts work? They help to keep you in the car when your car is stopped abruptly. If you're driving 45 mph and you crash, yeah, your car stops, but you don't. Although your car has stopped and is no longer at the speed of 45mph, your body is still traveling that fast. The seatbelt AND child car seats keep your body in the car and stops your body when the car stops. If you don't have your seatbelt on or your child isn't in his/her car seat, you and/or your child WILL continue to travel at the speed your vehicle was traveling and exit the vehicle via the windshield. Do you really want this to happen?

A teammate of my current man died two weeks ago, because he was not wearing his seatbelt. He was traveling back to the city after a game, lost control of his vehicle, and as it hit a tree, his body was flown from the vehicle, crashed through the windshield, and was dismembered. He died instantly, along with his 16 yr. old cousin. If they had been wearing his seatbelt, he'd be alive today. And his kids and baby's mama would have their father and boyfriend.

My 14 yr. old nephew watched a man being thrown from his BMW convertible, because the man was not wearing his seatbelt. The man was driving down a single lane road, decided to pass the driver ahead of him, the driver ahead of him decided to be an asshole and sped up to not allow the BMW driver to pass, and the driver of the BMW met a truck head on. The driver swerved, was nicked in the bumper, the car drove into a ditch, and upon the immediate hault of the BMW, the man was thrown from his car and into the ditch. He died instantly. If he had been wearing his seatbelt, he'd be alive today.

4 years ago, my best friend called me hysterically. Another one of her friend's baby was on it's way to Chapel Hill, NC, because the local hospital could not stabilize the baby. The girl and her man allowed their children to crawl around the car while it was in motion. My friend was constantly begging them to make their child stay in his carseat, but they never listened. One night, on their way home, they were driving down a dark country road. They wrecked. The baby was thrown from the car and suffered severe brain damage. No, the baby did not die, but the baby will never be normal again. The baby, also, lost limbs. If that child had been in it's carseat, he'd be normal. Now, the parents have to live with their and their child's losses.

My senior year in college, I learned that a teenager was thrown from his vehicle and killed instantly. He was on his way home to get his gun to go back to a club to kill someone he was fighting with at the club. He was driving 65 in a 50 mph zone and took a steep curve that lead him to lose control of his vehicle, hit a tree, be thrown through the windshield, wrapped around a tree, and split in half at the waist. He wasn't wearing his seatbelt. If he had been wearing his seatbelt, he'd be alive today.

So, ya see, wearing your seatbelt and placing your child in a carseat is much safer than not wearing one, because you're a thug, you're too cool, you're invincible, or because you're afraid of being trapped in the vehicle. Please, readers, when you're getting into your vehicle, fasten your seatbelt. Also, put your child in his/her carseat, correctly! If you aren't sure of how to use a child's carseat correctly, your local police department will be more than willing to show you how to use it correctly. If your child isn't in a carseat, make them put on their seatbelt!

05 June 2006


Ya know...

I've sat down to this thing numerous times to post some interesting things that have been going on in my world lately. I've made discoveries about myself and have had soooo much fun in the past two weeks, but I can't bring myself to sit down and actually type about it.

I started out posting something everyday. Even if it was about some bullshit. But now, I'm like... when I feel like it, I'll post. I'm just not really into it all that much anymore.

When I can actually sit down to the computer and focus on typing about events that have come to pass, I'll post 'em.

I just can't focus... I got too much working inside my head to focus on ONE thing at a time.

It's even difficult for me to focus at work!

Any suggestions? And, hayle to the naw... I am NOT taking meds! hahaha

I've made it this far without taking meds... I think I'll continue on my lil path!

05 May 2006

First Spring Storm

It's approaching!
It's getting darker.
The tree tops are swaying back and forth.
The leaves are rustling.
The rumbles can be heard off in the distance.
The dark grey clouds could be seen for miles in the distance.

There's something about the approach of the storm that excites me. Seriously. I love watching the lightening, listening to the rain falling, and hearing the different noise levels of claps of thunder on a warm, spring and/or summer afternoon. Late afternoon that is... afternoon that is falling into evening.

What makes these storms even better is having someone special to cuddle with and talk with during the storm. Maybe even have a lil loving involved.

One memory frequents my mind when there is an evening thunderstorm where you can really see the lightening.

I was living in Baltimore, and I had met a man named.... we'll call him Young Noah. He had arrived at my house early that evening. We had dinner, and were chilling at my place afterwards. Later that night, u could hear the leaves rustling, there were flashes of lightening, and rumbles of thunder. Y.N. was laying at one end of the couch and I was laying at the other end. We gazed at each other, talked about how we both enjoy thunderstorms, and enjoyed one another's company.

I miss the times I shared with Y.N. I'm looking forward to experiencing the same type of atmosphere with Mr. Right Forever.

The leaves are still rustling.
Low rumbles of thunder can be heard.
Tiny pitpats of rain can be heard.

Anyone care to join me? Oh.
I don't mean ANYONE. I mean YOU.