This Woman's Worth

31 May 2005

withdrawal sucks bootie hole!

I miss him! I miss G! I miss the whole damn weekend, thurs thru mon. I miss having someone to talk to till the sun comes up, I miss holding that someone all thru the night. I miss waking up to him smiling at me and talking with our morning breaths. I miss the way he looks at me, even tho he said his eyes lie (LOL). I miss him playing in my hair and kissing me on my forehead. I miss watching him interact with his cousins and cutting up with him and his cousins. I'm over here trying to go to sleep and can't, because something is missing! It's you G! Your scent, your touch, and your body... it's all missing and being missed!

I'm like damn Mariah Carey: "I can't sleep at night, when you are on my mind... Bobby Womack's on the radio: If you think you're lonely now".

I'm going thru Grafton withdrawal and it sucks bootie hole!


30 May 2005


Damn, it's ova! Bike week is ova. And I have absolutely NO complaints, EXCEPT that I NO longer live in MD! I gotta give my people from MD props! They did the damn thing this year! I'm almost certain that the majority of outsiders this weekend were from MD. I saw MD tags everywhere I went!

So... how did it end? With tears of joy and no regrets!

I headed out late Sat night and rode with a guy I met on Thursday evening. We had a decent time, until he tried to get some ass. T is a FINE man, Will Smith fine, but sorry, T, this bootie AIN'T yours!!! Like Ciara says in "O": "I tell 'em nooooo... What for????" And in "Goodies": "Keep on looking cuz the goodies stay in the jar". Man... Ciara was my girl this weekend! LOL I was out and about until 4:45AM when G called. Man, he was laughing so hard when I answered the phone that he had to give the phone to J! All I heard J say was, "I got that dick half price! It's 5 in the morning, Dick half price!" Man, I was rolling! So, I left where I was and drove down to Ocean Lakes to kick it with my new boys.

Met them at Krogers cuz damn Ocean Lakes lost my damn driver's license Thursday and took an hour outta my day looking for that shit. I went to hang with G for a while on Thursday night and the damn security officer working the gate confiscated my driver's license in order to make sure she knew where I was going. That was some new shit. Last year all you had to do was fill out these lil white papers about where you were going and who you were going to see. So, I gave the fat bitch my license. Got ready to leave Friday afternoon, and these fuckers lost my damn license! Ain't that a blip! So, G and I decided that for the rest of the weekend I would park my car at Krogers and he'd meet me in the parking lot to drive me over to the house.

So, I'm at Kroger and I jump in the car with G, J, and two of they boys. We're pulling out and LJ gets a phone call. All you can hear are females yelling thru the phone. LOL UPDATE: LJ brought home a female the night before and woke me and G up so he could take her on the balcony and smoke. Man, this girl was a straight chickenhead hoe. Her damn face was smaller than her damn hair! Hair like Tina Turner, face like a rat. So... it's the same girl on the phone with LJ and she has two more girls with her. I'm like, DAMN... ok... now I really get to see what these chicks look like. Well, these girls walk in the house and I'm like... Damn, am I about to be in LiL John's video? Am I gonna get paid tonight? These girls looked like they were 16 or 17 and dressed like some damn video girls: one chick had on this orange outfit (bootie shorts with some fishnet shorts over 'em with her tiddies hanging out her top and some damn green heels on) I don't know what the green heels matched, maybe it was her thong or something... but damn, she had me disgusted. The other chicks... outfits were about the same. I got so disgusted, I looked at G and told him I was heading upstairs. He came up shortly after the girls started tripping and after they left. Poor G... he was stuck babysitting all his cousins all weekend. LOL... Not really, but he did do some babysitting. I'm glad i was able to bring him a lil relief towards the end of the night.

So... on our way back to the house J starts his rappin thang after we talked shit about DBlock and Jadakiss and how cruddy they are. G turns on the music and J starts rapping about the white tees. J... I swear Jada shoulda put you on his new album baby! I can't remember all the words, but baby, your White Tee flow was the bomb! J, you definitely kept me smiling and laughing and I'll be thinking about our fun times this past weekend fa sho! Come here boy, lemme whisper in ya ear, tell ya some things you might like to hear! LOL

The night ended at 7AM Sunday morning.

We awakened around 11AM to G's cell ringing. He was late for a race. G races bikes professionally. So, he headed out to go race and I continued to sleep. I sunbathed on the sundeck for an hour and G returned around 3ish, a WINNER of course! After he returned, we laid around in the bed cuddling, talking, and decided we needed to shower, separately, and get ready to head out for our last night at bike weekend. So, we ride over to the bikes and as they are loading the bikes onto the trailor, one of G's older cousins continues to talk shit about being able to beat G in a race. So, G called him on it.... We were off to race! Yeah, my boy beat his cousin's ASS by 50 yards! They raced for a quarter of a mile. As G reached the finish line, all you could see were teeth. G was grinning from ear to ear cuz he knew he had beat the tracks off his cousin! LOL

So, we head down to the strip to see what we could see. Let's just say G and I got bored real quick, made sure everyone was str8 with a ride, left the strip, picked up some food, and headed back to the house. Our last night ended well together. We cuddled up, kissed alot, talked alot, and fell asleep. We woke up to his drunk ass cousins coming home and heard them beating the brakes off some chick. LOL We laughed, made some faces at each other, laughed some more, and went back to sleep.

We got up around 11:30 so that they could get ready to leave to drive back to MD. It's POURING down rain and the poor guys have to load up the last three bikes, because after the race last night, they continue to ride the bikes. Well, one of G's cousins, who I call slim cuz he's tall and skinny, lol... man... why this guy stepped in shit! And everybody saw it, but no one told him to not step backwards. Then, the lil Pakistani dude that was with us all weekend said, "I don't even think it was dog shit. That looked like human shit!" Let this be a lesson to everyone! WATCH WHERE YOU STEP AT ALL TIMES!!!! So, I'm sitting in the truck letting the boys do their thing and G gets back in the truck and is pulling the truck to the bikes and all I see is Slim shuffling his feet in the mud puddles. I asked G why Slim was playing in the puddles and G was like, "He stepped in shit." Man, I was rolling! Here's Slim... a representation of Snoop and Tupac shuffling his shitty feet in mud puddles! Man... from then on he was "Shitty Man".

I was dropped off at my truck and G gets out to walk me to my truck. I had to go kiss my pookie, J, goodbye and then continued to my truck. I hugged G tightly and kissed him goodbye and let him know that I wanted to see him again. I was told that we would work on that. So, I got in my truck and we drove our separate ways! Tears started welling in my eyes and I didn't understand why... It's cuz I'm really going to miss G and the fellas! G and J... Thanks for a GREAT weekend! I hope I get to see you two real soon!!!! G, I'm sure SC will never forget you and your naked girl Tshirts! Take care of ya women! Especially my favorite one with her ankles crossed!

I'm sad cuz all the fun is over and now it's back to the REAL world. However... LOL I'm pimpin all ova the world! I'm already planning my trip to Vegas in August. You ready, K?

The dude from Charleston, J, that I rode with on Thursday is interested in coming to see me in Columbia and making me his girl. I was shocked. When I met J on Thursday, there was definite attraction on both parts, but he came off as he has a friend and doesn't want anything more. So, I told him that when he comes to see me in Columbia, we'd discuss this whole girlfriend thing. Pictures of all the mentioned will come soon.

This was one of the BEST bike weeks EVER! Do I really have to go back to work on Wednesday? Do I really have to sleep by myself tonight and future nights ahead? YUP! I gotta get used to being back in the real world and readjust to sleeping alone. Damn... Life's a bitch and then you die! But damn if I'm not going to have fun while I'm living!

Well, the weekend is over and I have made new friends for life. I don't know if I will ever see them again or if I will ever spend time with them face to face, but I will never forget the times we shared together this weekend. We were placed within each others' presence the entire weekend for a reason.

28 May 2005

enjoying life

Man oh Man!!!!
It's the middle of biker weekend and I am having TOO much fun! I've met interesting people and lifelong friends! I have seen friends I haven't seen in years! AND... I know that I have made two new friends that I know I will be seeing more of and will cherish for a lifetime!

Let's see..

Got my haircut! Looking divalicious and am making the brothas stare! Nothing new tho! LOL Afterwards... me and my best friend had lunch together, I drove home, got dressed, and met my boy from Charleston to ride for a while! He's such a cutie! All my people's know I'ma sucker for a cute ass lite skinned man with freckles and damn if he doesn't have freckles! We had a really good time. I didn't get to see more of him like I wanted, but hell, he lives in Charleston, an hour away from me, and we're talking about seeing more of each other. While we were out riding, I saw the site of the day. It wasn't ugly nor was it exceptionally attractive. But, my boy definitely had some eye candy in front of him for the ride back to my truck. This chick had on her bikini with a pair of thongs and a flirty skirt on over the thongs. This is for the men: the bike just made her booty jiggle. Ya'll know how ya'll like to see the ass ripple.. well... her ass was definitely rippling. It wasn't a wide phat ass, but a lil petite bootie. No, I'm not bi, but I will give props where props are due... she had a nice smooth ass! All you men would have loved it! So... back to J in Chucktown.... Talked with him earlier. It was my first time riding on his motorcycle with him and he told me "I really enjoyed riding with you. I've never had a girl ride with me that knew how to be a passenger. You didn't move around a whole lot and you were comfortable on the bike." That's how a passenger is supposed to ride. It's the driver's responsibility to drive and my responsibility to hold on and ride WITH him, not against him! I've been riding since I was 15, too, so that speaks about my riding skills.

Later, after we rode for a while, his boys call! Man, these bruhz just showed their ignorance. They drove an escalade pulling 5 bikes in on Thursday. They call around 7pm talking about they broke down on 31 and need a truck and to come pull the trailer AND them! LOL Ok... well, J was ready to go, but obviously wasn't really ready to leave me, cuz he waited a good 2 hours to go get 'em. As soon as he got ready to pull off, they called talking about, "We're on our way. The truck was out of gas!" WTF! Your gas gauge doesn't work? You aren't keeping up with your mileage? Lmao... DUH! Ya gotta have gas to make a car go! LOL

Anywho... he went his way and me and my girls went ours!

We ran into my boys from Maryland around 11pm and that's who I've been kicking it with every night after midnight! We've had an ass of fun!!! Thursday night we stayed up till the sun came up just talking shit... GEEBUS! LOL

Forgot this part! LOL
So, my girl and I are at the gas station and this OLD DIRTY BASTARD walks up to the car and tells my girl that she is sexy as a muthafucka and that he wants her to sit on his face! LOL Man... he looked like he was FIDDY and my girl looked at him, looked at me, and told him, "That's something for me to think about and for you to never taste!" Man, my girl had me rolling!

At the next gas station... had a 38 year old man ask me when I would be moving to Tennessee to live with his ass. And I quote,"Babygirl, when are you gonna move in with me? You don't have to work. I been in the military my whole life and I'm about to retire. I got a house, a motorcycle, and three cars." Bitch, I don't give a damn! I got my own shit too! And I ain't about to stop working for a man! If something happens to you, what am I gonna do for money? LOL Gimme a break!

I met up with my boy that I haven't seen in 3 years and we had a great time riding together! We turned a lot of heads and I accrued some more haterz. I LOVE YOU! LOL

After he left, I met up with a guy I had met the night before with my girls, but it was so damn late I was ready to go meet up with my boys from Maryland. So, I ditched dude to go hang out with my peoples. I'm getting to know this guy, we'll call him G. I'm really diggin him. HOWEVA! I know it's bike weekend AND I know that when he leaves... there will be MILES between us. So, we're focusing on a friendship, but having the time of our lives together this weekend! I woke up with him Friday morning, spent the day with him, then left so he could go ride and I could go do my thing. NO... I ain't down here doing the do. That is NOT what I'm here for!

I met up with G last night around 3AM at the Waffle House, ate some breakfast with GEEBUS and his cousin J and laughed at Jadakiss and DBlock. Man... for the to have so much money... they are some rude ass muthafuckas. Jadakiss wasn't as bad as DBlock, but dayum. He could at least say thank you. I do have to say his waitress made an ass in tips tho! Hey, J, I still think he should put u on his next record!!! "I'm talking about spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, that's right, pasta, pasta, lasagna, rotini, pasta pasta, spaghetti spaghetti, ziti, macaroni, pasta pasta, spaghetti spaghetti..." LMAO

I've learned what Taint Gravy is! If you don't know, ask ya closest male buddy! OR... you can ask me and I'll tell you!

Me and Geebus woke up, talked for hours, enjoyed each others company, ate some BOMB POPS (the red white and blue icepops). They DA BOMB MAN! LOL Seriously, that's what they are called... BOMB POPS. Played with THE WOOD (spare keys to the house on a wooden stick) and watched Troy. We departed late afternoon and will be getting up in the next couple of hours. It's a lot of fun to meet someone you click with, can flirt harmlessly with AND cuddle with while you sleep, then wake up the next morning, and talk while looking each other in the eye! I'm really enjoying my time with him! I love making new friends that will last a lifetime! And then... when I'm with him and J... man.... we do nothing BUT laugh! It's a damn comic relief team! Just cuttin up in Waffle House, driving around the campgrounds in the back seat (me and G) acting as if J is our chauffer, and watching the sun rise, just the three of us! AND WHY.... we aren't drunk or high, just enjoying life! Last night, this morning at 5AM, we come in the house cracking up over the BOMB POPS and THE WOOD and me kicking G straight in the bootie and him falling down the stairs! HOLY SHIT he had me cracking up! He's on the stairs in a ball laughing his ass off and J ain't doing nothing but making it worse with his Wood and Bomb jokes! LOL I can't wait to see what's in store for tonight! LOL

For now... just got a phone call to go ride for a lil while till I'm off to see more of the dynamic duo! So, I'ma go dress, pack my bag for the night and we'll holla lata! GEEEEEEEBUSSSSSS!!!!!! I really don't wanna go, but what the hell... I got too many hours to kill before I link up with the Murdahland crew! So... I'm off to ride! Stay tuned for more of BIKE WEEK 2005!

26 May 2005

It Makes the World Go Round

Haterade, it makes your confidence look higher than it is, but the person's confidence you are hating on is higher than yours.

Dag... just when I thought I had just expressed my thoughts about my haterz, I learn I got a new one! Welcome to the hater section of my world CC/J in GA. So, I go to see if one of my favorite blogs is updated cuz this dude cracks me up and I notice a comment quoting "Don't go to that page, it's an unwanted headache". LOL... Now, I notice that there is a deleted comment AND then there's my comment inviting the person to my blog just to have fun over here. Now, I don't know what this chick's problem is, but I have never said a nasty or mean word to or about this girl. Girl, I know the dude is ya cousin, and trust me, I'm not interested in meeting him nor am I interested in having sex with him. First of all, I don't know what he looks like, second his blogs keep me rolling and have already taught me a lot about him. So, CC/J, you can rest ya weary head. I'm only in here having fun and releasing some unwanted energy. Kae, thanks for all the laughs along the way! CC/J, if that comment was related to my comment, thanks for the hate! Stronger have you helped me become! HeeHee


I'm on my vacation at the beach for bike weekend. I'm looking forward to seeing all my peeps from MD! I'm a biker babe, NOT a biker groupie! I'm working towards getting my own bike so that I can be one of those bad ass females riding her OWN bike! I already have my bike picked out.

What will I do today? It's my first full day of vacation...
1. I'ma go get my haircut. My best friend's sister cuts some hair! I swear she's like a damn painter... she's a natural. I go in, tell her to do her thang, and she does it! I come out looking and feeling like a DIVA! She hasn't cut my hair in a long time, so I'm ready to go get refreshed!

2. My boys from MD rolled in last night (biker club), they working on getting my ride's front tire replaced this morning, then it's on for the afternoon and night! BUT before that, my peeps who rolled in late from Columbia last night, I gotta get up with them and let them know what's what for the weekend (parties, concerts, races).

3. Some bikers I know from Charleston are rolling in at noon today. They are staying directly across the street from me. So, I gotta go see them sometime today and ride with them for a couple hours. Riding with them so that they won't talk ish after the weekend.

4. My boy, G, from MD is rolling in sometime today. His boys been procrastinating and was doing last minute three day ish last night. So, I don't know when he'll get in, but it'll be sometime today or tonight. G races bikes internationally. I'm looking forward to riding with him over the weekend.

5. I gots to get my drinky drink on! I'm heading out to the likka store to get some capitain and some Henney.

First site of the weekend was last night! Man, it was UUUUGGGGLLLYYY! If you KNOW you riding on a 6 and you like big girls, why not get a higher bike? Seriously, this lil dude was riding on a 6 AND had a BIG OLE GIRL on the back! AND the bike was dropped. So what? Is that what you're saying? So, BIG GIRL had the back of dude's bike sitting on his tire! YUP, dude will be buying a back tire before the weekend is ova if she continues to ride! Yeah, big girl's need love too, but DANG! Dude should know he needs a bike that sits higher over his back wheel if he gonna have a big girl riding!!!!! It was just funny to see the tiny dude with this big ole girl on the back of his bike. I mean, he had to weigh a buck 10, and chick was a good 250 or higher. It was prolly a good thing for him. She prolly kept him warm last night. It was 58 degrees by the time I headed to the crib, which means it was a good 30 or 40 something degrees on the back of that bike. BRRRRR! And neither of them had on warm clothes! They were prolly an icebox by the time they got to their destination. I wish them a fireplace and some hot cocoa!

Please, stay tuned! It's going to be some funny and exciting things and sites happening this weekend! You'll get the stories here, FIRST!

25 May 2005

dedicated to venge dizel

What happened? Did you lose me, because you couldn't maintain me? Are you hating, because I am a grown ass woman who understands her needs? You think this blog is about you, don't you? You're so vain.... you prolly think this blog is about you. Are you so ashamed of who you are and what you couldn't do that you had to leave your name out of your post so that I wouldn't know who you are?

Let's clear some things up... UNLESS your name or initials are in my blog, DON'T assume my blog is about you! AND, PUHLEEZE, don't waste your time trying to degrade me, because ya words are only going to make me stronger! VENGE D.... ur mad cuz I'm strong and I didn't want you? OR did I take ya man from you? You couldn't have me, cuz maybe you wanted to BE Vin Diesel, but damn sure didn't look like him???

Let's get another thing straight... I can have a baby! HAHA! Jokes on you jerk! Nope, I can't carry a baby, but I sure as hell can have a genetically linked baby! HAHAHAHA... lol.... I still have my ovaries dumbass! Go out and buy you an education! OH... do you have the smarts to go get one? Or do you need a female like me to babysit your behind so that you can get what you need?

V.D. Laffin... that's the initials for venereal disease. Are you a walking one? Is there a cure for you? All my people in DC love me as I love them! I have burned no bridges... so damn... I musta really not given YOU what you wanted and could never have!

If V.D. had read my entire bloggishness.... he/she would have seen that I'm a retired playa AND he/she would know what happened with the bball playa and the dj IF this person knew me!!! LOL What a joke!

How many basketball players from college did I date? 2.

How many DJs do I know? LOTS.

Did I fuck alla these people! IF you know me V.D. you know the answer!

How many people have I slept within 28 years? V.D. you have the answers right? LOL Tell it for me!

OH... for those of you that don't know what I'm discussing in this blog... you may read the comment posted by venereal disease... oops... I mean venge dizel under "Plans A thru Z". According to him I'm a slut who is also an unable to have a child ass. Man... if it weren't for my haterz... I would be NOWHERE TODAY!


23 May 2005


My older sis went in to have a Gamma Knife procedure on her brain today. Gamma Knife: it focuses on one tumor at a time and is a majorly aggressive procedure to treat cancer. So.....

What I hear is that they had to put this cage type thing on her head and basically embarrassed the shit out of her by wheeling her through the damn hospital to do this and that. My sister is overly proud and consciencious. So... she went in at 6:30am and the procedure didn't start till noonish. My sister also has a problem with anxiety. So, she was a basket case by 9am, I'm sure. Well...

I'm at work all day just thinking about her and trying to find ways to take my mind off of my worries. My clients, whom I visited all afternoon, helped a lot. After work, I meet my nephew, her son, at his first baseball playoffs game (HE WON!!! GO GATERS!!!!) *Yeah, that was country*. My younger sis met me at the ballfield with my niece, my older sis's daughter. The more I looked at these kids the more I kept thinking about.... damn.... if they lose their mom.... I'll be pissed and God and I are going to have some words! Just as I find God again, he challenges me. Is that fair? Then there is all this pain and sickness my sister is having to go through.... is that fair? Then there is her husband... damn.... he loves her so much! I will only be lucky to find a man who is half the man he is! My older sister is so blessed... in so many different ways: friends, faith, family, love, intelligence, beauty, success, etc. So, I'm back home and tearful cuz I want my Sissy, her nickname, to be around a lot longer than damn 6-10 months. For those of you that read my blog... please... pray for my sister. Please pray for God to grant her the courage, to place his hands upon her cancerous spots (brain, liver, and lung) to heal her, and to help her to continue to remain faithful in him. Could you please pray for her children and husband to give them guidance, to remain faithful, and to give them courage? And please pray for me, the younger sister, and our parents. Thank you. Please visit her website as well:

I have so much to do in so little time!

15 May 2005

Plans A thru Z

Men crack me up. What? You thought I was gonna sit on my ass and cry you a phucking river? LOL For every man that has come into my life, you brought many more with you. Hey, Mr. Basketball playa from college... you brought along your teammates! Yup... You got it! I had backups planned from the get go with your selfish ass. Mr. DJ... you brought along your FOINE ass boys, AND bragged on me? HAHA what tha phuck? Did you really think that bragging on me would keep me to yourself? Yup... more backups.

MEN: A woman always has a plan for another man. Men are always trying to take your woman from you! Don't advertise your woman, cuz the better man... if it ain't you... is gonna step up and take your woman! I always got plans A thru Z. Nope... they aren't always in action. But they are planned from the get go. So, if you phuck up... another one is definitely standing in line WAITING to take ya damn place!

WOMEN: NEVER ever advertise ya man! I had to teach my girl a lesson. She was advertising her jump off everyday 3-4 times a day to me! YUP! I got curious and had to test the waters! Why her jump off left her for me? THEN the dick was trash! I had to use PLAN A to get rid of X! DAMN! If you gonna advertise any man... make sure the dick ain't trash and that he can eat pussy exceptionally well!!! Girl... I really hope you find an excellent pussy pumper!

13 May 2005

Stress Free?

How relaxing! I need this! I'm going to go sit on my screened in porch, close my eyes, and enjoy! Right after I make a glorious pot of coffee~~~!

Is there SUCH a thing? Can't be!

Here are the things I am currently stressed over:

1. My older sister has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Melanoma. She was diagnosed a month ago, has completed her first round of chemo and radiation, and the only tumors that shrunk were the ones in her liver and lung. The treatment was actually meant for the tumor in her brain, and that bitch grew. She now has another spot in her brain. On Monday she goes in for a six hour treatment with a gamma knife. The research I have completed shows that her prognosis is 6-9 months, but she has not discussed her prognosis with her outside family members. All I can think of is her 13 year old son and her 7 year old little girl. And what the hell is her husband going to do? THEN! HOLY SHIT! What will I do without MY older sister!? You know the saying "The good die young"? Well, she's 36 and on the border of being a saint. Why doesn't shit like this happen to the assholes in the world? All these fuckers who are raping and killing women, the child molestors, the murderers... how come shit like this doesn't happen to those fuckers!!!!??? The good thing out of this? I have learned to NOT take my family and other loved ones for granted. They won't be here forever! Gotta make sure you take advantage of every moment you may be able to spend with them!

2. MONEY! Got Dayum! Life's a bitch and then you die! So, I moved back home (MD to SC) and took a pay cut. AND... now... making ends meet is very difficult. I have decided to go back to school for nuclear medicine technology, because once I get my certificate... I'll be well off! And that's not even what I'll be. BUT... I gotta get my but into school, and I'm working on that currently. Until then... hmm... considering the amount of television I am prone to watch has decreased, immensely, I am going to return to basic cable instead of having this expensive ass digital. THEN... I gotta get rid of the house phone. I only need it to open the gate of my residential community. Phuck it! I will just switch my cell phone to a local number, and boom... I can open the gate with it. Hmmm.... THEN... well... it's out to find a second job! THEN... I'll be on my way to financial security, WITHOUT a man! Maybe I'll be more attractive to the men in the world that are stable in more ways than just financially....

3. Men aren't stressing me. LOL I tend to stress them! They don't whoop the pussy, the pussy whoops them! LOL THEN... damn... when they find out I've moved the phuck on..... they crying to be back home. LOL Naw, seriously. I'm not even interested in having sex right now. I have ONE man that I can call to relieve my horniness IF I need to be phucked. I'm ready to locate a man that will be interested in more than being able to get the booty. I'm worth your conversation, company, and affection. If you prove to be worthy of MY goods... you will receive them in due time. For now... I'm really not interested in phucking you or anyone one else.

So, NO... it's not a whole lot that I'm stressed over, but it is the quality of these things that stress me. It all takes a toll on me physically, emotionally and mentally. There are nights where I can't sleep, because of 1 and 2. BUT... I am taking steps to solve 2, and unfortunately, I'm just a sitting duck for the resolution to 1.

What's good in my life? I have been talking to a man via telephone. He's hella attractive and the conversations are interesting. There is one thing that concerns me, but it's okay. It's nothing major that can't be worked out between the two of us... if there is ever a two of us. He is over my age limit cut off, but sometimes a girl just has to make exceptions. I have learned that to have what you want, you have to pray and believe that God will grant you what you need. Then, you have to be happy with what you have in order to get what you want. And, yes, God denies you certain things you want, because you don't need them AND God has already placed it in your plan to obtain what you need! Will we know it when it smacks us in our faces? Let's hope so!

10 May 2005

freakin hell... it's 3 in the damn morning

AND I CAN'T FUCKING SLEEP! I don't know why!

Maybe it's cuz I need someone here to hold me, play in my hair, and rock me to sleep. Maybe it's cuz I really miss someone! Maybe it's cuz I'm worried about someone! Maybe it's cuz I'm so damn tired I just can't sleep at all! Maybe it's cuz the weather is changing! I don't know what it is... but damnit! I need to go to sleep! I have to get up in 5 hours!