This Woman's Worth

30 June 2005

COUNTING DOWN!

I leave Saturday for my first summer vacation!!! I'll be in the mountains of North Carolina for one week filled with rest and relaxation!!! I'm looking forward to the Fourth of July family picnic (watermelon, fried chicken, sweet tea, BEER, mashed taters, homemade ice cream, the parade, and the games afterwards!), hiking, white water rafting, canoeing, ice cream filled evenings, rocking chairs around the lake, fishing, sleeping in, tomato sandwiches, shopping, and being away from everyday stress!!!! This means I will be away from television and the internet! I'll have my cell with me, but will only talk when I feel like it (it's MY vacation damnit, not YOURS)! I will not be blogging for a week starting Saturday, but I'll have so much to blog about, MAYBE if I feel like sharing, when I return! The mountains always have a way of relaxing me. It must be the refreshing mountain air and the sounds of rippling brooks, the quietness of the vacation spot, the thumps of tennis balls on tennis racquets, and the innocence of the young children having fun that relaxes me. I am sooooooooooooooo ready! I'll be vacationing with my mom, dad, niece (8 and sweet as pie), nephew (typical 13 year old), older sis and hubby, and my younger sis. We always have a WONDERFUL time together and it always brings us closer together. I grew up going to the same vacation spot every year. My family takes a week or two in the mountains of NC every year and we rent a house together. It's not the same since my Granny passed years ago, though. My grandfather, the hiker and moutain expert, no longer attends our family vacation because he remarried and we can barely stand a minute with his new mouth of the south wife. We tolerate her, but damnit... we seriously wish she didn't exist. We miss our "PaPa" on our vacations (hiking and cards are NOT the same without him)! We also play cards (UNO, rummy, slap jack, 21, and other card games). LOL... enuf about that... I'll blog about my vacation when I return! heehee

Upon my return... I'll have something else to look forward to that I'm already excited about. G and I are going to be spending the following weekend (15th-18th) together. Ya'll have NO idea how excited I am about seeing him! I've been anxious to see him again since we parted ways at bike weekend! We have maintained contact with one another and have learned a lot about each other via our phone conversations! G's cuzzo, Jamar (waving @ him: HEEEEEEEEY BOO!), will be joining us for our weekend! Man... I'll have even MORE to blog on after that weekend! We're either meeting each other in Raleigh or Charlotte, North Cackalack! I am only imagining the things that G and I are going to do to each other when we see one another!!! I hope my family vacation goes by EXTREMELY SLOW, but I hope the week of my return goes by FAST AS LIGHTNING!!!

My blog fans... don't miss me too much!!! heehee

I'll be back for a final blog tomorrow until my return on the 9th!

29 June 2005

BET Awards!

6/28/2005
8pm and I'm glued to my television amazed that The Fugees are actually performing!!!!
I'm in my chair bobbin my head and singing along, and can't believe I STILL have a crush on Wyclef! Was it just me or did Lauryn look REALLY skinny? 13 minutes of The Fugees... MAN... what a great way to flash back to my past! I really hope they do put out a new cd! And where the hell has Lauryn Hill been????

BET did the damn thing last night! I couldn't break away from my boobtube to even pee! I HAD to wait for a commercial in order to do ANYTHING! I was scurred I was gonna miss something.

Speaking of commercials:
Who was the dude in the red T that said "YAYo's world"... HE WAS FINE!!! It was the commercial with 50 Cent

Destiny's Child:
Damn, Beyonce! You make ME wanna fugg!!!! I know ya'll saw all that azz she got! Clawd haf merci!!! Beyonce got that TRAFFIC JAM BOOTY!!!! And damn if her lapdance wasn't the shizzle!!! Yup... If I got the chance, I'd have to fuck Beyonce! Oh yeah... u best believe I'm working towards establishing a body like her!!! Good googlies mooglies!!!! I don't know why she acted all shy after she did that shyt on stage tho. BET's ex CEO said, "Beyonce, if I get that lapdance, I'll stay on for 5 more years." Beyonce covers her damn mouth as if she's astonished and turns to Kelly and giggles. BYTCH PLEASE... You just showed the entire world that you a freak! She got FP *fREAK pOTENTIAL*! Now... JayZ... does she have FC *Freak Consistency*? Boy, J, you betta hold on to her ass!! Physically and in all other ways possible!

Did ya'll see how quick Kelly was to snatch up Nelly? Puhleeze! Snatch up someone you AIN'T already wif!!! You was already gonna get the dyck after the show and parties!

Bravo D.C. for a performance worth talking about for years!

Missy, Ciara, and O:
I was dissappointed... great lipsyncin!

Michael Ealy, John Legend, Will Smith, Wyclef Jean, and Slim Thug:
YUMMMMMMIEEEEE *drooling* Ya'll had me drooling all night!

Mariah:
ya performance wasn't all that... I prefer the recording of "We Belong Together"

Stevie and John Legend:
Great performance! I swear... John's introverted personality and the way he presents himself is lustful!
Stevie... you'll always be a starrah! And your "HAPPY bIRTHDAY" WILL always be a HIT!

Gladys:
Girl... you look fantabulous!!!! I know ya'll noticed how well Ms. Thang is aging!!! Ms. Gladys had me in here grooving!

Our old skool music... man... ain't nothing like it! Like Gladys said... all these new G's out here are TRYING to make what we used to have work today. So far... KEM, Alicia, and John L. are our only true R&Bs out there!! Keep doing ya thang thang!!

There were a few things I could have done without:
The Fresh Prince bringing his TV family on stage
Latifah bringing out the Set It Off crew
Mary's hair
The dress of the gospel group (they need to fire their stylist)
Fantasia's mouth (good gawl that thing is HUGE)
and the UNacting of some of the stars

The Game's lil boy is PRECIOUS!!!

Can't forget Tina Marie's tribute to RICK JAMES BEEOTCH!!! She had me crying AND laughing!

Seriously... I had a GREAT time last night watching the awards!!!

Did ya'll see Free's dress???? MAN... I want that damn dress!!! I think SHE was the best dressed! Her outfit was slammin!!! And DAYUM... FREE got ASS!

Is AJ married to Tatyana Ali?

The Fugees... OOOO LALALALA! heehee
I was upset with the local radio station today. How the hell you gonna mix Ludacris' "Pimpin All Ova The World" with Lauryn Hill's "Killing Me Softly"? Man, that shyt didn't EVEN sound close to GOOD! PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT SHIT AGAIN!!!

Anywho! I partied up in my apartment last night WITH BET and had a GREAT TIME!!!!

Hope all you who watched enjoyed just as much as I did!

Where the hell did Mike come from?

27 June 2005

traffic jam booty

If I didn't have booty, I swear I wouldn't know what Ludacris was talking about! I swear... everywhere I go I get compliments on my ass and I watched several cars and bikes ova Memorial Day weekend and recently almost wreck cuz the driver was doing triple takes! And like my boys from MD said, "Ya big ole naturals are like whoa!" Jamar, you don't even know what they look like... but I know you aching to see 'em! haha

I remember back in November, I went to the likka store to get some Capt'n to go with my Coke and the two dudes working were talking about ass as I walked thru the door. I had my "painted on jeans" and of course a top that did NOT cover up my ass. As I approached the checkout counter, one of 'em asked me to tell his friend how nice his ass was... yeah... they were gay. I couldn't see dude's ass, so I told him to turn around. I swear he had a GREAT ass! Then he was like... lemme see yours... so I turned around.... All I heard was "daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammnnnn... baby got back!" And I do... a whole lot of it! I love my booty tho! And it's not from working out... I acquired it years ago when I was involved in cheerleading and gymnastics. AND... I'm starting to do squats and lunges in order to keep my ass while I'm losing weight (I stand 5'5" and weigh 180)! I love my ass and the attention it gets, so I definitely do NOT wanna lose it! Anywho!

Ludacris...
this is the second time you've shouted me out in ya records!!! First it was the new phenomenon: white women with ass... now it's that traffic jam booty! Thanks man, and we haven't even met!!!! I look forward to shaking ya hand when we do tho!!!!!

It's so nice to have tiddies with a matching ass!!

26 June 2005

IT'S JAMAR'S BIRTHDAY!!

Happy Birthday Jamar!!!!!!!!

G and I will have an unforgetable gift for you just as soon as I am able to get to MD!!!!

MISS YOU!!!!!
HUGGLIES!!!!!

G...
Man...
Words can't express it!

Our "appointment" on Friday night was even more betta than Wed night. I can't wait to see you! That weekend in July can't get here fast enuf!!!!

Miss All Night Long!

Butterflies flutter no matter how often or long we talk. Lemme Cater 2 U!

23 June 2005

PISCES AND PROTECTIVE GUARDIAN

I have, recently, been called emotional.... hmmm... lol

Yeah, I can be. It's the Pisces in me. HOWEVA.... most of the time only my family and friends see my emotions. AND THAT is only when I'm angry, which isn't too often. Those that do not know me, NEVA get to see my emotions. Actually, they do, but it's thru sarcasm. Those who do not know me and want to get to know me experience my sarcastic and humorous ways, because I don't let strangers on the inside of me quickly. I was called emotional due to a post I left in someone's blog. I've decided not to post comments on certain blogs anymore, because... well... typed words cannot fully express how someone is truly expressing themselves. LOL I'm such a smart ass and I'm quick to put someone in their place. REAL QUICK.... LOL So... for those of you who's blog I frequent AND post... I won't be posting comments for a while. Being misunderstood sucks, but is a part of life.

My personality profile fits that of a protective guardian. THIS MEANS... lol... that I care for others and that I work best when helping others: teachers, counselors(ME), nurses, doctors, etc. It also means that that I am very protective over the people for whom I love and am intimate with. I make sure that they are taken care of and that no one threatens them. So... this is where my protective side comes out. I am quick to defend myself and the ones I love. If I gotta fight, I will (although I won't start the fight.... I'm a lover (PISCES) not a fighter!).

Just a lil more about me so that those that read my blog might be able to learn more about me and understand my posts a lil mo' betta.

Dear Kae,
I'm not emotional. I just express myself. LOL Sorry u thought I was being emotional. If I could use my voice to make my comments, maybe you would realize that I'm laidback and too easygoing to be emotional over dumb shit. I know you have a girlfriend and she must be hella kool with the things that you post on ya blog. *applauding Kae's girl* Like I posted in another blog... I don't want you. I'm here to release unwanted energy and to have some fun. FYI... I'll still be reading ur blog, but just won't be commenting. Comments are like opinions that are like assholes, everyone has one. Howeva, being that I can read and NOT comment and enjoy the blog that much more... that's what I'ma do. I'ma READ and be on my merry way!
HOLLA!

*thinking* Maybe I'll just be sarcastic in all my remarks so that people don't think I'm taking they bullshit personally... LOL Maybe I shoulda posted in Kae's blog in response to his "thoughts" like this: *lookin at kae and smh* Mmmmm this pizza is soooooooooo damn good! *guzzle* aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh... gotta love that vanilla coke! Damn, G.... I get dessert too? *taking my boo's dick off my shoulder and... heehee... putting it in my mouf*

Oh yeah.... HAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY JAMAR!!!!!! (waving and jumping up and down)

This shit is all about fun for me. Sorry some of you take me too personally!

22 June 2005

OH WHAT A NIGHT!

June 21 nighttime... 7ish to 12:30am

I notice G is online so I start our lil online conversation. We cover all topics from work to sex. While we were discussing sex... I found out just how freaky G can get! heehee And I'm LOVING IT!!!!! ON YOUR ROOF???? DAYUM!

Here's the jest of our conversation:
He's at work and I'm home from work.
G: Come help me, everyone else has gone home.
A: I'm on my way.
G: You'll be here just in time for me to leave
A: Good, then we can go home and enjoy each other.
G: And how in the world would you function tomorrow. I wouldn't stop until you pass out.
A: I'd be the only woman on the face of this earth with a glow upon her face tomorrow
G: Are you sure? B/C I do bite!
A: mmmm... yummi
G: I have work for those juicy lips
A: Oh yeah? What type of work?
G: the best kind! G Pleasing!!!
A: I can dig that!
G: Are you sure you can handle it? It's not a job to be handled lightly!
A: G, I could be your certified head doctor!

G places a pic of a snowman in his pic box in our messenger window

A: I'm so hot, I'd make you melt.
G places a big smiley face in the message window and says: that's all you would see in the puddle of water.

We continue to talk about other things (biker's roundup in August, old pics of me, etc.)
Then we start talking about seeing each other

G: I'm having more problems with my schedule
A: u suck
G: No, I'm trying to figure out what I can do and what I can't do
A: understood
G: I almost made my vegas reservations last night, but I have to make sure I get everything done
A: honestly, I'd rather drive to MD and spend those four days with you than to spend those four days sharing you with a bunch of strangers
G: but the only time I rest/relax is when I leave MD, as you can see
A: yeah I know

G has family returning to live in MD and is having to help provide them with housing as well.... sucks, but ya gotta take care of ya family!

G: yeah, I really need to get away, soooooooooooooooooooooooon
A: How does a vacation at Ashley's apartment sound? Or would that be too boring for you?
G: pick me up from the airport
A: I'll be there... ON TIME!
G: I'll come down early and make my cousins drive down to NC for the biker's roundup
A: tha things we can do without them present
G: the things we would do no matter who was present
A: basically.... that last night at bike weekend... I was ready to jump you after you told me that you had that with you already (I was showing G some eye candy at the time)
G: well, why didn't you?
A: I didn't know you were a freak like me
G: u like how I keep it undercover? I'm not a closet freak, but everybody isn't ready for it
A: I'm not a closet freak either... you name it... I'm down for it

then he shared some of his freakiest sexual experiences... man... had me ready to go see him !

I was ready to start preparing for bed, so I told him I would call him in a few. He told me that he needed to pack it up and head home anyways....

our phone conversation started between 10:30 and 11.

We talked about all types of stuff, and before I knew it... my right hand was between my legs getting sticky. It's just something about HIM... his voice, the way he talks, the way he laughs... it all turns me on and my body just yells for him! He starts talking about his son who is 7 and how he doesn't want his son to be a punk... we discussed alla that, then I said, "G, enough about ya son! It's drying up my pussy!"

G says, "Oh yeah? Well, we will have to stop talking about him then, cuz I can't have you going to sleep without ya pussy being wet!"

I start playing with my pussy again and G talks to me about how he loves to hear and watch a female as she is experiencing an orgasm. The way G describes a female's orgasm makes an orgasm sound like FINE ART! And his description of an orgasm AND him telling me about how much he loves to experience it with the female turned me on more! I could feel my pussy get wetter and my clit got hard. I released a moan and a large exhale and G says, "So, which hand is down there between your legs getting sticky?" I told him it was my right hand. G says, "You're a righty? That's okay. I will have the left hand for you." I had told G that I could use my left hand, but it just does nothing for me.

We're talking, laughing, and enjoying our conversation, while I'm playing with my pussy. All the while, G is driving home from work. G gets to the spot where he loses his signal and I lose him. I wait a while then call him back.

He answers, "mmhhmm"

In my horny, freaky, sexy voice I say, "Yeah."

He says... "yeah?"

ME: "yeeaaaahhh"

G says, "I thought I was going to miss out on something big cuz of my phone cutting out."

Me: "I stopped so that I could share my orgasm with you. However, you did interrupt, cuz I was ready to cum all in your ear!"

G says, "I am sorry. have you started back?"

I can hear the phone crackling and I tell him to stop moving so he doesn't miss anything. He told me that he had gone outside with all the creatures so that he won't miss anything. I reminded him that he has a house phone and to call me from that.

G says, "Don't go anywhere! I'll be right back."

As he calls from the house phone, I answer with a moan and an loud exhale.

G says, "I would love to be there to feel you cum, feel every drop of your juices flow, to watch every tremble and shake as you cum."

This made me even more excited and I moan loudly in his ear as I'm rubbing my clit faster and harder. My pussy is so wet that I know she is calling for him.

I feel my pussy walls tighten and my breaths become faster and harder. My moans become louder and more enthralled with sexual tension.

I faintly hear G say, "Cum on. I've got front row seat tickets. I plan to use them real soon! Flying south for the winter? I'm going to have to fly south during the summer!"

I SCREAM with excitement as I am cummin.... "OOOOOOOOHHHH. SHIT! OOOOOHHHHHHH. UUUHHhhaaaahhhhh."

After the orgasm I was so high. I felt like my head was going to explode from all the sexual excitement.

G says, "That was great! I'm glad that I wasn't driving, because I think I might have hurt myself. If you could see the smile on my face right now."

I'm smiling and giggling thru the phone. I'm still rubbing my clit.

I say, "G, can I cum for you again?"

G: "I'll take all you give me"

My breaths get faster and harder and I let out a loud "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHH! SHIT!" as I cum again for G.

Afterwards, we talk for a while, then we realize it's 12:30 in the morning and G still has work today.

G says, "Now I can do my work with a smile on my face. You helped to make the work I have to do not as stressful. I am so relaxed."

Me: "I'm relaxed too."

G: "I'm glad. You get some sleep and I'll talk with you later."

A: "you rest well when you go to bed!"

G: "Will do."

A: "Bye."

G: "Bye suga."

The things we're going to be doing to each other when we finally see each other again!!!!

I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

21 June 2005

SOMEONE'S IN THE WRONG CITY!

Still can't get G off the brain! I don't eat, sleep, and/or shit G, but I do think of him often! How often? LOL... like uhlaht (last thought before I go to sleep, first thought when I wake up, frequent thoughts of him during the day, etc.). I think that his calm, but wild spirit is what has attracted me to him... NOT to mention how intelligent he is. He's also very attractive and a decent conversationalist. And I'm pretty sure I would still be living in MD if he and I had met earlier than we have. I yearn to be around him. I get an email from him today and learn that he can't wait to see me again, just as I can't wait to see him! I yearn to smell him, feel him, talk to him face to face, and yup... I yearn to phuck tha shyt outta him! I've been hit on and asked out by many a man since G and I met, but my spirit, body, and mind yearn for G. I am pretty sure no other is able to man up to G. And I know there is NO ONE better than G! I look forward to talking to him everyday whether it be via text messaging, email, or telephone conversation. And our conversations are never dull. I sent him an ecard the other day that said "One of us is in the wrong city!" And one of us is in the wrong city! However, we're making sure that we stay in contact AND we're definitely working towards seeing each other soon and as often as possible. I miss you G, and I can't wait to get back to you!!!!!! Oh yeah... HEY JAMAR (waving ferociously)!!!!

19 June 2005

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

To my father and my Holy Father!

I have been blessed in so many ways! My dad is such a great man! He taught me how to take care of myself and to not depend on anyone but myself (which can also be a flaw if you don't know how to let go when someone wants to take care of you). I put my dad thru h e double hockeysticks as I was growing up. I have been independent since I was 13, and could not wait to get out on my own at 18 *if I knew then what I know now*. My dad taught me how to maintain my vehicle, how to plunge toilets and fix household items, how to drive, how to budget my money *which I still don't do, I pay my bills and hold on to the rest*, to not leave one job without having another one in place *unless you get laid off or fired*, that an education is the road to success, and that love is gold. My dad also taught me that family is important! My dad was adopted and he never wanted to find his birth parents, because he loved my grandparents so much and was appreciative of having the parents he was given. I have learned throughout the years that there is no love like family love. And thru my family, I have learned to love. My dad also taught me that your job should not become your life! And this is so true! There is so much more to life than just work!!! I remember his exact words when I gained my first REAL job in Maryland "Don't let work become your life. There's so much more to life." You have to get out there and play! Life is so much more enjoyable when you're having fun! I have also acquired personality traits from my dad. I'm always smiling around other people, no matter what kind of bullshit life has presented me. However, I also have a temper, but refrain from exploding on other people until they definitely deserve it. And when I love, I love deep. No, I don't want a man just like my father, but I want the type of man my father became over the years. I want a man's man, a man who is going to stand by his woman thru the thickest and thinnest of times, and someone who is going to love me no matter how many times I fall *and he betta help me back up*. These are traits I would want in a man that my father carries, however there are some traits that I would prefer my man not have that my father has, but those men that carry these traits can be dished out by me. ANYWHO... back to my father! He and I have a GREAT time together.... whether it's going to the movies, shopping for Christmas presents, watching war movies at home, eating out together, or just talking about random stuff on the phone. He and I have become closer over the years and when I call for help, he's always there! I love you DAD!!!!! THANK YOU!!!

My Heavenly Father has also been there for me. He has helped me along my way to accomplish goals (obtaining my jobs, getting thru school, providing me with needed money, and providing me with the friends and family that I have). When I'm going thru difficult times, when I can't talk to anyone else, I can talk to HIM. And if I wanna talk for hours, HE will listen! I have just gotten back into going to church and have joined the choir. I am not going today, though, because I do not feel like traveling across town to worship when I can praise my FATHER in my own home *guess you would call it laziness* (God forgive me for being lazy). Since I have returned to church, I have felt myself grow closer to HIM. HE sent HIS son to die for MY sins, and everyone else's sins. That is a whole lot of unconditional love that NO human can give to another human! We can try, but it won't be as pure as HIS. And to know that HE will forgive me, no matter how many times I screw up, and continue to love me, that is a true BLESSING! HE has placed me on this Earth for a reason and I'm here to serve HIS purpose! I hope all of you remember to send HIM a Happy Father's Day message today... Thank HIM for all he has bestowed upon you!!! HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, GOD! THANK YOU!

18 June 2005

ARRA'S "in the closet" PART 5

DAMN DAMN DAMN DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!!!!

Yeah, I heard this bullshit almost a month ago... but DAYUM! I ain't know what to say bouts it!

ARRA done fucked Kathy, Chuck, Rufus, his girl, AND the policeman! I gotta give ole girl props tho for having her lova (the policeman) pull ARRA (he gonna have some shit to say in court) ova in order to stall so she could TRY to get her place completely clean (failed with the rubber in the sheets) AND possibly get her snatch (thanks Leon) to smell unlike BADUSSY. THEN the girl deserved an oscar... like Kathy. Ole girl played her part with ARRA (your the best lova *but I gotta go find it elsewhere (with mr. policeman)*)! LOL But... ARRA was ready to kill his girl over some shit HE had JUST done (fucked another man's girl)! It's okay for him to fuck another chick, but damn if his girl can do that shit? Men, cum now. If you out there fucking around and ya girl finds out... I promise you she gonna be out there doing it too! Better yet, if you AIN'T putting in time with her, she gonna be out there finding what you ARE NOT giving her! Ya can't have ya cake and eat it too, OR CAN YOU? heehee It's a shame that it was in a ruthless and vicious circle! Maybe they all should just get together and have an all out ORGY! Hell, all of 'em done fucked each other, might as well do it together! AND, while they at it, they should get checked for them VD's. It's sad and scary to know that the world may be/is like that, and the world is that damn small!!! U'd be surprised at who you know and who they know and how all the people get back to you somehow! Man... I wish there were like 10 more parts to "in the closet"... I just wanna know MORE!!! LOL

STRAP IT UP, LADIES AND GENTS! AND... to keep them herpes and genital warts at bay, wrap the balls up in some plastic wrap! OR LADIES.... use the female condom! IT COVERS EVERYDAMNTHING!!!!

16 June 2005

Country or City Mouse?

So, I'm sitting at an intersection in my car, waiting to turn left, and talking to my boy on the phone. I look up from counting my money I just withdrew from my account, and I see this thing bouncing up and down and back and forth in the intersection. I blew it off thinking it was just trash... then I watched it. It scurried between cars and back and forth, trying to cross the intersection! It was a damn mouse! So, I start yelling, "GO MOUSE GO!" cuz there were no cars coming! As he got ready to run for the sidewalk a car flew thru the intersection... NO LIE... this damn mouse fell back, dodged the vehicle and started scurrying again! I yelled, "Stop mouse stop!!!" cuz there was an ass of cars getting ready to fly thru the intersection! For real! This dayum mouse dodged everydamncar that came thru that intersection! As there were NO cars coming his way, he scurried towards the sidewalk but couldn't jump up on that muthafucka! I was continuing to yell, "Go mouse go! Jump on the sidewalk! Run down the side of the sidewalk real close to the curb!!!" THEN this lil rodent decided to run towards the median thinking he could climb up on it! So, I'm yelling, "Go mouse go! No cars are coming! Hurry, Hurry!!!" The mouse crosses the street and makes it to the median, but I can't see him cuz the fucker is behind a reflector! Then my light turns green so I have to turn left. As I turned, I saw him scurrying down the street between the median and reflectors as close as he could to the median curb. I yelled at him, "Stay close to the median, mousey, and they can't get you!" I hope mousey made it to his destination and no stupid as driver squashed him!

My boy was on the phone saying, "Ash, what the phuck is you talking and hollering about?" I told him about the mouse. He said, "Man, I'd be yelling squash that damn mouse!" I laughed, cuz I know I was acting silly, and I knew he meant that.

But damn... I know y'all read that book about the country mouse traveling to the city to visit his city mouse kinfolk! I swear this mouse had to have been country the way he was dodging traffic! He really seemed to know what he was doing, but looked damn confused and scared as shit! I bet he left little mouse pellets all in that intersection! Maybe he was a city mouse returning from the country. I don't know. I think if he were a city mouse, he would have waited till he had the damn light to cross the intersection! LMAO But then again... city people don't wait for the damn light to give them the right of way to cross intersections! Stupid asses! Ya'll the people I try to hit!

This mouse was my lunch entertainment! LOL... the simple things in life always make me smile! Y'all should try it! LOL Yeah, people around you prolly gonna think you real strange, but you can always look at them and make faces to make them think you're seriously crazy! Have you ever done that? Have you ever made a face at someone sitting next to you at a redlight who is all in ya damn car? Man... it's hilarious! After you make the face, the stupid ass staring at you sits straight up and stares straight ahead, like someone just hypnotized they ass! Try it! It's fun!

13 June 2005

SMOOTH CRIMINAL FOUND INNOCENT

The "Smooth Criminal" (Michael Jackson for you slow folks) was found "not guilty" on all 10 counts against him today. It's hard to believe that with all the "guilty" evidence against Mike, he still walked away a free man. Not to say Mike doesn't have some mental issues he needs to deal with tho! How Mike just went through Taco Bell's drive thru dressed up in a spiderman costume, broke out into song during his deposition, left himself out of the Jackson 5, AND had difficulty spelling his first and last name during his deposition. HMMMMM..... Mike... hmmmm..... NO COMMENT... he just deranged. My next thing is... why the hell would you allow your kids around someone who has been accused of child molestation? Yeah, he's mike, but if my child wanted to spend time with Mike in Neverland, we would ride past Neverland, I'd show my kid Neverland and inform my child that he will NEVER LAND THERE! C'mon folks!!! Congrats to Mike for convincing the jury (or paying the jury) that he's innocent.

NEXT!

I was listening to track 6 on John Legend's CD all day today, because that song cracks me up! My favorite line: "My heart don't got nothing to do with my penis, he got a mind of his own, he be looking, but I don't be stopping nothing... I know you're his favorite, cuz he told me." Another favorite: "Who is she? What's her name? You don't need to know everything!" Some of the songs lyrics made me question why this person is trying to convince this girl that he can be faithful and not to leave him, but clearly... if he's keeping his jump offs out of town then the girl may never really know what her man is capable of doing to her or bringing to her. Yeah, he claims to wear a condom, but that doesn't prevent the spread of herpes and genital warts. Yes, I believe that someone can love someone and cheat on them. No, I do not think it is right. Applauds to the men out there who believe that if they keep their affairs a secret, they'll get away with it AND spare the chick's feelings... NOT... IT WILL COME TO LIGHT EVENTUALLY!!! If you're in a relationship and you aren't sure of your boundaries... maybe you should ask your "significant other" if you two are exclusive? If you're married... well... that's a commitment to the other person for LIFE! If you wanna explore relations outside the marriage... you should discuss that with ya significant other. Ladies and Gents, you might be surprised to find out that your significant other is open to playing with other couples with the approval of each other! Communication is key! However, if your significant other tells you that she/he will leave you if you cheat on him/her... then think about starting a relationship if you KNOW you can't be loyal and faithful! Perhaps the two people should discuss what loyalty and faithfulness means to them individually too! Lord knows... those two words can have a lot of different meanings!!!!

11 June 2005

Playa Mentality

We all have them. We all have game. We all use our playa skills to get the ones we want to have something to do with, whether it be sex, dates, companionship, wateva. However, playas are considered to be a negative thing. We all connect playas with "hoe" mentalities. Men are considered playas cuz they continue to sex or date other women even though they are in a relationship OR may NOT be in a relationship. Those who are not in a relationship tend to have more than 3 female "friends". FRIENDS meaning phuck buddies, cut buddies, sex friends, wateva you wanna call it. Female playas are called HOEs, because they have more than 1 sex partna, cut buddy, phuck buddy, wateva. Shouldn't matter who the playa is... u should just ruhspeck they game. For those of us wanting to settle down and turn in our playa cards.... How would we do this? What would make us wanna do this? I am contemplating about coming out of retirement, because I got played. I am able to pick up on when I am being played and usually am able to play the playa before he plays me, BUT... because I retired a while back... I felt as if the fucker should learn from his mistake, but couldn't let him play me before I got his ass. I plotted on how to get this fucker and then decided on what to do. He and I had a certain female in common and the more he talked, the more he told on himself. I invited ole girl to my house, because I know who she is... THEN, I called ole boy up and invited him over for dinner and drinks... I timed it to where both would arrive within 10 minutes of each other. When he knocked on the door, I had ole girl answer the door. The look on his face was priceless! What I should have done was had her take a picture of him as soon as she opened the door. He entered my apartment and tried to play cool.... but never said a damn word. He sat in a chair instead of in his usual place... on my couch curled up with me. *I had explained to ole girl what was going on after she arrived at my house and she was cool with it cuz she felt he was suspect* He got up to leave 15 minutes later, and I showed him to the door with his toothbrush and other things of his and informed him that he is to never contact me again. If he had been truthful from day one... we may have had a different arrangement. BUT... he WANTED to be a playa... soooooooo..... he had to learn from his mistake in order to perfect his game.... if that's possible for him. I wouldn't be surprised if he and ole girl are still kickin it. That's just how she is. I'm a retired playa in certain areas, but that mentality and ability to play YOU before YOU play ME will never dissipate! See, there are different types of playas out there... positive and negative... BUT more positive!

MY question is this.... AND IT'S FOR THE FELLAS!

FELLAS:
What does a woman have to do for you to turn in ya playa card? This means being loyal to your one and only!

08 June 2005

Crazy vs. Chemical Imbalance vs. Various Coping Skills

First of all... I read a person's blog before coming to write my daily blog. I'm glad I did. Because... I have come to respect my profession more, now, than before I read his blog. And, now I understand why I treat my clients with respect and do my best to NOT mistreat them, because something traumatic has affected them and led them to where they are today. I work as a clinical counselor with adults in the mental health profession. I do NOT dispense medications. First of all because I am NOT a psychiatrist, second of all because I do NOT want to be held responsible for a person's psychiatric state. I learned some history today about the mental health field. The agency I work for... not for profit... held it's annual board meeting today. Our guest speaker informed us that SC was the second state to provide services for the mentally ill. However, mental health services have been in effect for over 300 years... it just wasn't funded through the state. Centuries ago, when a family started to notice that a family member was strange, loco, crazy, wacko, weird... they paid religious leaders, school teachers, and other people held in high respect to allow the family member to live in the other person's home AND care for this family member. The agency I work for... MIRCI (Mental Illness RECOVERY Center) has been functioning for 45 years as a not for profit agency. Not for profit means we RAISE our money to be able to provide MORE services. I also learned today that the word ASYLUM means to seek refuge/help/treatment. The word ASYLUM has been slandered in the past years, because of it's negative meanings. A lot of people look upon others who have been diagnosed with a mental illness as crazy and dysfunctional. You all would be surprised at how many people you come in contact with daily that have a mental illness AND are functioning "normally" in society. As a clinical counselor, I help those who have a chronic mental illness and have been discharged from state facilities to learn how to function, independently, in the community, again! Due to the persons' institutionalization, he/she has lost the ability to cook, shop, manage money, understand the importance of taking their medication as prescribed, to clean, to use public transportation, etc. I teach these persons how to do all of these things again while monitoring them daily. It's called rehabilitation. No, not every mentally ill person is able to be rehabilitated, BUT the majority of them are. I LOVE MY JOB! No, it doesn't pay SHIT... but I love my job! Each of my clients, like the blogger I mentioned, had some traumatic experience cause them to become hospitalized and unable to function. The blogger mentioned was still able to function... but because he was dealing with a death in his way... others felt the need for him to be psychiatrically evaluated. PEOPLE... the whole damn nation is depressed! We all just deal with it in different aspects! NOT all of us NEED antidepressants, because we have the ability to use coping skills! Depression is NOT when you are sad... it's suppressed anger. Those on antidepressants need these meds, because the chemical imbalances prevent these people from being able to express their anger productively! BUT, like I said... I'm not a psychiatrist and I choose not to be, because I don't agree with the medicating of every person who walks thru psychiatric hall doors.

To the blogger who's post I read today and have come to respect even more.... thank you for sharing your story about June 10. This is not a sympathy thing... cuz it's obvious that you do NOT need it! You seem to have grown and seem to continue to function normally in society. I don't know what your psychiatric state is now... nor do is it important, because what I read tells me who you are as a person... BUT remember... we're all a little crazy... it's how we cope with situations that allows us to continue to function "normally" with/without medication. Please remember that if someone is on medication, it doesn't make them crazy. The medication helps to balance the chemical imbalances. Those of you who think someone is crazy... it's more than likely YOU that is crazy/deranged. You have touched my heart and have helped me to respect my profession more than I did an hour ago.

I was gonna do some crazy blogging today... but I'll put it off till tomorrow.

Again... thanks K!

07 June 2005

Random Tuesday Thoughts

Why is it music artists feel the need to tell us how to dance?
CIARA: 1, 2 Step *isn't 2 steppin a country dance?*
YING YANG TWINS: Shake it like a salt shaker *most girls already do that on the floor*
JAY Z: bounce with me, bounce with me *that's all we do down souf iz bounce*
LIL JOHN AND USHER: Do the ATOWN stomp, Do the muscle, Do the thunda clap, Rockaway *hmmm... only ATown peeps should do the stomp, not everyone has muskuls to do the muscle wif, who wants to clap as loud as thunder - that would hurt, and why does rockaway look like 'leanin back' moving forwards and bakwuds?*
FAT JOE: Lean back... *on what?*
BUSTA RHYMES: Nod ya head till ya Break ya back/neck... *uhhh.... NO*
SEAN PAUL: Get Busy *with wut/whom*
ELEPHANT MAN: pond the river *ummm... WHAT?*

Sure all these things make the club scene a lil more interesting, because you get to see how many people on the dance floor are original or just doing what the artists tell 'em to do. But for those of us that are ABLE to be creative on the dance floor... do we really need instructions? What's really fun is to combine these dances and show everyone that dancing is made up of different moves *u can throw in some old skool too*!

NEXT!

MY top 20 FINE ASS FAMOUS MEN! Not in any order:
Allen Iverson
Chris Gatling
Ludacris
Redman
Method Man
The dude that plays "Walt" in CUTS (UPN)
Marques Houston
Flex
Shemar Moore
Richard Gere
Sean Connery
The guy that is in Mario's video *How Could You* and acted in The Wire
The guy with the lite eyes that was in The Barbershop
Ice Cube
Vin Diesel
Baby Bash
Brad Pitt
Lloyd Banks
Lexington Steele
Christopher Williams

That's MY top 20.... for now... These are the men that I love to watch and just think SCREAM beautiful!!!! Maybe I'll add more men in another blog.

NEXT!

My night ended last night with an hour and a half phone conversation with G. He's such a busy man... I just had to interrupt him working last night in order to get some time in with him. We had a great conversation and learned that we have a few more things in common (thunderstorms, thought process, pet peeves). I'm awaiting his email with his work schedule for the next 3 months so that we can arrange our times to spend together. He's helping his cousin move to Indiana this weekend. Man... that's a long haul! Man... we also discussed how irritating it is to hear people say "conversate". OMG!!!! People, conversate is NOT a word! LOOK IT UP! The correct word to use when talking about having a conversation between yourself and someone else would be "CONVERSE"... not to be pronounced like the shoe! CONVERSE is pronounced: cuhnvurss. Can we put "conversate" in the BAD/NOT A REAL WORD WORDS' BOX, PUHLEEZE!!!!????

I woke up this morning, NOT wanting to get out of my bed! My mattress is so damn comfortable! And then I have on those Jersey Cotton sheets on the bed.... mmmmmmmmmm... pure bliss! I swear, if G had been in the bed this morning, both of us would have called out of work. Well, he could have worked from home... but my ass would have called out!

Now it's raining... had huge thunderstorms all day. All I could think of was that it is the perfect weather to be with a man/woman you love and to cuddle with them and burn holes in the bed/rug/countertops/sofas/chairs/whereva you wanna phuck each others brains out! I love this weather!!!!

MORE RANDOM THOUGHTS TOMORROW!
I'm starving! What to eat!?

06 June 2005

GEEBUS

It was definitely a MONDAY! Man, I think I like it better when my weeks start on a Wednesday! LOL

Work was work was work was work.

I was watching videos yesterday and some of them got me thinking...
Why does Omarion's "Touch" sound like Justin Timberlake? HOT SONG... but a JT sound.

How the HELL does SHAKIRA get her chest to jump like that??? And she is just a sexy female! Bet you all didn't notice the freckles over her cheeks and nose!!! LOL

And how many times does Mike Jones have to say his name before he gets it that we all know who he is??? I'm Mike Jones, Mike Jones, who is Mike Jones? Back then they didn't want me, now I'm hot they all on me. Hmmm... hot how? Ladies... beware! And of course don't nobody want your ass while you're a nobody, especially if you aren't all that great looking! MJ is an ugly dude, teeth are banging tho! I've heard that money always makes a dude look better than what he is... Sorry. MJ is still ugly, I still wouldn't want him... same goes for Mutombo and PDIDDY. LOL

Mike Jones Kinda reminds me of how Fabolous spells his name (F-A-B-O-L-O-U-S) in all his songs. And the poor kids gonna think that is the correct way to spell FABULOUS! sad sad sad Can I just get a deal to say my name ova and ova again?

Anywhoo.....
What was she thinking?
I was driving home from work and this pinkish RED color caught my eye. Some girl was riding on the back of a moped with some dude and chick had some hellafied RED weave in her head! What's worse is that the hair was so thin you could see her natural hair! I was like, DAYUM!!! All I could do was laugh, cuz she seriously looked like a clown... Had on some fake L.V. outfit, but damn if you could tell her she weren't cute! LMAO @weren't. It was just so ugly that I had to laugh! I hope, for real, that she's getting the rest of her head done in the next day or two.

So, I'm almost home and I look up to see this small something scurrying over the bridge. It was a lizard! AWWWW.... Ok... yup... you guessed it... I dodged him just to watch him make it up to the sidewalk before the asshole behind me tried to smush him! The guy prolly wasn't looking for odd pedestrians. GO LIZARD GO!!!!! Yeah, I prolly was close to causing an accident over the stupid thing. HEY GOD, Can't you teach these animals to cross the roads carefully?????

To close...
G emailed me this morning and sent me a text message. I'm pissed with Tmobile cuz for some reason I can receive text messages but I can't send them. Ain't that some bullshit? Bottom line is... G is checking his schedule so that we can arrange time to spend together. Poor dude is married to his business, and a chick like me understands and is NOT going to come between him and his business. Everybody needs a retirement plan!!! G has basically expressed to me that he will be making time for me. Heehee... Great things come to those who wait!!!!

05 June 2005

BORING

Weekend update:

FRIDAY:
I took my clients to see HITCH Friday afternoon. I love that movie. It was my second time seeing the movie and I noticed that I missed some things in the movie. First thing I caught onto was that a guy that was on a date with his woman ordered a BOMB POP (awww, how I miss G). I text'd G immediately to ask him for a BOMB POP... His response: "I got that bomb pop" LOL I can't wait to see him soon!!!! I'm Sarah Melas from the movie and I'm looking for, but hoping that I've found my HITCH (G). But, it's all you damn Vance's that fuck it up for our HITCH's! MEN: if you don't like women (Vance)... if you just wanna hit it and quit it... get you a hooker and become a pimp! We want our HITCH and want you Vance's to steer clear!

After work, I went to watch my nephew's championship baseball game. They lost, but got a really nice plaque trophy for second place! I was proud of him! He caught two outs in center field and got a hit. Poor thing struck out his first to times at bat. That change up got him every time.

I hung with one of my friends after taking my sick niece some chicken noodle soup from Chik-fil-A and then bounced home. It was nice to come home and relax.

SATURDAY:
I didn't do shit. I sat on my ass all day and was lazy. I watched The Cookout and laughed my ass off! I also talked to G and J up in MD. They were grocery shopping so they could cookout. I also talked to G's son for the first time. He's such a shy guy... lol... he's got a long ways to go. G was trying to get his son to mack on the phone, but it just wasn't working. I reminded G that his son is only 7 and that he'll be aight by 18. I talked to G about an upcoming Bike Roundup in Rockingham, NC and his response was but that's August! It's only June. I get this feeling that he's not willing to wait until August to see me. And that's fine... cuz I don't think I can wait that long either! I emailed him the site so that we can set up our time in August and reminded him that Raleigh is right around the corner and that I can't wait to see him and be caught up with him. After our conversation and emails, I watched Shrek 2 and took my ass to sleep.

Lesson from SHREK 2: Be you and you'll be loved. Women don't want a man who try to be something else.

SUNDAY
2:55pm
Is just starting. Got an email from G verifying that he does NOT wanna wait until August to see me. ME NEITHER G!!! Dayum, why couldn't G appear while I still lived in MD? We'd be set! LOL

I got an IM from a long lost friend today. He's home on R&R from Okinawa and we have not spoken since Aug or Sept of last year. He has a daughter now that was born on Thanksgiving day last year and tells me that she isn't blood related. The precious little girl is black and Micronesian and J has informed me that he and the mother have an "understanding" and that the mother is seeing other people, but that he's not the baby's biological father. HMMM... scratching forehead. J says, "I put my name on the birth certificate." Hmmm... Ash scratches forehead again. Meanwhile, he swears that he didn't phuck anyone while he was overseas. Yeah, okay. But, hey, if I wanted to make myself look good, I'd lie too... just to make the female think I didn't do anything. Congrats on your babygirl, J... and remember... we're better than that... you don't have to lie to kick it! Game recognizes game! No love lost tho!!!

IF anything to blog about arises... it'll be in here later!!!!!

DAYUM! I'M CRAVING SOME POPEYES!!!! POPEYES IS THA SHIT!

6:12pm
Ok, damnit... I should have gone to church! BUT, I didn't! I chose to sleep in in order to recoop from bike week last weekend! So, my older sis calls me and gives me hell. I don't do the whole confrontational thing very well especially when the other person is right. She calls me lazy and tells me to get my life in order... LOL... all because I chose to NOT go to church this morning. The Lord knows I love him and have faith in him. THEN... she says, "What's wrong with you? You don't sound right. Are you okay?" I'M FINE!!!! I'm stressed over her, but I can't tell her that. Anywho... I love her, but dang... can't I just be mellowed out and NOTHING be wrong with me?






02 June 2005

So, I'm on my way to work this morning and I get a text message from G.... "Hey babydoll!"

I go to text him back and my text messages won't go thru, so I was like "Fuck it, just call his ass!"

G: Hello?

Me: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!!! *in that lil girl excited voice*

G: laffin: How are you baby?

Me: I'm ok... on my way to work

G: I'm stuck in this lousy ass traffic and was thinking about you.

Me: U got a meeting this morning?

G: Yeah, and I'ma be 5 minutes late. I'm the boss, but today the customer is the boss cuz it's a meeting with them.

Just the sound of his voice makes me wanna call in to work and ride up to see his sexy behind!

G: What ya been up to? You been sleeping okay?

Thinking: HELL NO!

Me: My body has yet to readjust to functioning normally from bike week. I am still getting to sleep when the sun comes up. I finally got to sleep around 5ish and had to be up at 8:30

G: take 3 hours off your sleep and I laid down around 3.

Me: Well, if you'd leave them girls alone (referring to his nude female tshirts) you'd be str8

G: It's not the females that have me up! *chuckles* And I have a road trip coming up. Remember LJ is moving to Indiana? I decided to help him save some money and let him pack some things in my truck and I'm going to help him move.

A: You're a great cousin! Not many people would do that for a family member!

G: Yeah, after I help him move, then I have another road trip in NC. All this driving is gonna be the death of me.

A: Nah, you'll be alright. You live for it! *coming up with an alterior motive to see him* So, what part of North Carolina?

G: *chuckles* Raleigh, why?

A: Really? *mischievous laugh*

G: What you got up your sleeve girl?

A: What dates?

G: Why?

A: If you want, you could have someone to look forward to seeing while you're driving to Raleigh! All you gotta do is say the word.

G: Is that right? *chuckles* Well, I will have to call you with the dates that I will be there so that I can find out who this person will be!

A: laffs

And the conversation goes on until I reach work. Man... G has my head twisted! And I love it!!!hahaha

Work:
was long and easy! I don't get paid a heck of a lot in dollaz, but I do get paid when I see my clients learning and applying what they have learned to their lives! Howeva... that one fat chick I mentioned yesterday... man... somedamnbody just needs to go 'head and harpoon her ass so that I can STOP hearing about her fat ass! We had our annual members' awards dinner tonight and this damn girl ate two helpings of spaghetti/garlic bread/salad, three pieces of cake, AND had the nerve to tell me that she ate an ENTIRE enchilada casserole that she made last night. I look at her like... WTF! She states, "It's okay. As long as I'm happy with me." I look at her and just shake mydamnhead. Meanwhile she got on this reddamnoutfit looking like a gigantic tomato! All day I was just like, WTF is this chick thinking? BUT... I do tell her that if she keeps eating like she does, she'll never lose weight. Then I proceed to tell her that I no longer want to hear about how she is not losing weight, because she is doing absolutely NOTHING about it.

TOP 5 Pet PEEVES:
1. People who judge before they get to know a person. Let's remember folks, ain't but ONE judge and he'll deal with your ass in the after life!

2. People who pop they gum while they are chewing. It's called CHEWING gum, not POPPING GUM!

3. People who pick they nose in public with NO tissue! I mean damn, did ya momma teach you NO going out manners?

4. People who say HUNH when they heard you the first damn time! Get out of this habit folks!

5. When cuddling, do NOT be so close to where I can feel the tip of ya nose on my back AND ya breath running down it!

I also can't stand assholes and bitches that assume shit. UGH! If the world were based on assumptions, we'd be more fucked up than we already are!

Ok, so now I'm home and I'm opening my mail, AFTER I threw all my bills on the floor, cuz damn... that's all mail eva is! Mail is ALWAYS bills, bills, more bills, and some damn trash mail. I notice a pink envelope postmarked from Alabama! My ex's lil sis graduated from high school this year, and I am hoping that it is a notice cuz she forgot to send me one earlier (HEY Fathia! *waving vigorously* LOVE YOU GIRL!!). So, I open it and it's a card saying, "So, maybe it's because we lost the romance"... I'm like, HUNH *in that scoobydoo kinda way* and I'm like... WTF is Kamal thinking? Kamal is Fathia's brother/my ex. So, I open it... the left side says "Maybe we forgot to be kind to each other" and the right side says "But I'm sure that we can talk about it".... I open up the card to read the inside and it says:

PLEASE COME BACK TO BELLSOUTH! ROFLMFAO

Beg some more fuckers, cuz I ain't coming back! Y'all SUCK!

While at work, some of my female coworkers and I got together and started discussing ARRA KELLY's In The Closet. Our male coworker, Ahmad, hasn't heard part 4 yet, and missed a lot of part 3, so we had to catch him up. We're all looking forward to PT. 5, and we're all trying to think how the story is going to end! I just listened and looked and thought about the title of the song. When it became my turn to guess at the ending, I stated, "I bet Twan or whoeva the girl's jumpoff is, is hiding in the dayum closet with a beretta AND he gonna shoot ARRA!" Everyone was like... IN THE CLOSET! LOL It's just a guess, and I'm prolly wrong, but wouldn't that be sum shit if that's how the story/song ended?

01 June 2005

u Can't Be serious

I didn't sleep at all last night! I tossed and turned all night, BUT a HUGE smile was drawn across my face around 11:30pm. I received a text msg from G and we chatted for a while. Didn't make it any easier to go to sleep tho, cuz he isn't here to cuddle me all night. I kept waking up every hour cuz I just wasn't ready to sleep alone in my bed. BUT... I made it thru the night and woke up to the rain on my window pane, which was ok with me, cuz I'm in that kind of mood.

Going back to work after a long, fun, and exciting vacation sucks ass! Having to do paperwork and listen to peoples' problems all day long after vacation is the pits! I visited with one of my clients today who wants to lose weight... she's large on all her sides! She starts bitching today cuz she hasn't lost ONE pound and I'm looking at her like, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? ALL THESE SWEETS YOU EAT? EATING TWO AND THREE SERVINGS OF FOOD? YOU SERIOUSLY THINK YOUR FAT ASS IS GONNA LOSE WEIGHT? But nooooooooooooo, I can't tell her that shit! I have to tell her, It's ok. You have to eat right, count your servings, and exercise! Man, fuck that! This girl ain't neva losing no weight! She's gonna remain a fat chick for the rest of her life. BUT... It's my job to support her and to offer her counseling, so... I'ma do my damn job, cuz I gotta pay the damn bills!

I realized this morning that I can't pay my damn bills, cuz I can't find my damn checkbook! I know that bitch is around here somedamnwhere! Here checkbook, heeeerrrrrrre checkbook! Damnit, I don't know where that bitch is.... If someone stole it, all they gonna do is play like they buying shit, cuz I ain't got a BIT of money in my acct right now. I just got paid today, so I still got ALL my money!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! So, if the person stole it... go head and try to purchase rims, leather interior, woodgrain, and a system... they'll repo that shit as soon as the check bounces, BEEOTCH!

All I wanted to do all day was go to sleep. My eyes were heavier than a 10 lb bag of sugar today. And the rainy weather did NOT help me to stay awake. I swear, if I hadn't have just came back from vacation, I woulda called out of work today and slept all day long! So, I'm home, not hungry, and am ready to crawl in my big comfy bed and curl up to watch TV. ONLY ONE DAMN PROBLEM! The remote to the TV in my bedroom does not fucking work! So.. I guess I'll curl up on my couch and watch TV.

I heard part 4 of ARRA Kelly's "In Tha Closet"... Man, how u just gonna be fucking ya girl, throw the sheets back, KNOW a man answered ya damn house phone, believe ya girl's brother is in town but he ain't in the house right now, AND THEN find a rubber in the sheets of ya bed! It's bad enuf that you were fucking a gay ass pastor's wife AND was hiding in the closet WITH a fucking gun! C'mon man! What's next? Ya girl is fucking her brother? LMAO YEAH, right! AND DAMN! We girls are supposed to be the best playas! How the hell this damn girl forget to make sure the evidence was GONE! Throw that shit out the window if it won't flush! THEN, you GOTS to make sure the wrapper is GONE! NO, do NOT throw that shit in the garbage can! Flush tha wrapper too, OR throw it out the damn window!! Man... sometimes I wonder! I hope ARRA's knees weren't rubbing on that nasty rubber!! EEEWWWWWWWW Now he gonna have dude's cum all ova his knees! AND DAMN... how the hell this girl allow her jumpoff to answer the damn housephone! WTF was SHE thinking?

Sometimes I wonder!