This Woman's Worth

31 July 2005

Advanced Auto Date

It started with lunch. He called me as I was passing the shop, because it's two buildings down from my job, and asked me to go to lunch with him. So be it! Why not? Soooo... I picked him up at lunch. I take him to the bank so he can make a deposit and boy, did I found out a WHOLE lot about Mr. Fixit.

I found out that he's 21. DAMN! My thought: I swore off babies after Z. Mr. Fixit is just starting out in this world.

THEN... came tha BIG HIT! He just got out of federal prison 3 months ago. Charge: Assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill. As he told me this... I know I looked like a deer in headlights! I'm like... and I got this mofo in my muhfukkin car! WTF!!! Mr. Fixit claims that some guys broke into his apartment, he was sharing with his ex girlfriend who got pregnant while he was in lock up, and he shot at them in "self-defense". (skreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet... pump the brakes! REDFUCKINGLIGHT!)

Me thinking: hmmm... why the fuck would they break into your apartment?

Come to find out... he was hustlin' and these "breakers and enterers" wanted his shit.

LMAO... man... so I kept listening.

He has his nursing certificate, but he can't use it... thanks to his new LIFE RECORD! DUH! He swears he wants to get his life straight and he's steering clear of the people he "used to run with". Ok... maybe he is... (caution light still flicking real fast).

Positive: He was a gentleman. He opened MY door (driver's door) for me, paid for lunch, AND filled up my gas tank. yeah, I know... abusers and killers are real charmers AND gentlemen. (caution light still a flikkerin'). He doesn't have any kids. He's looking at a car on Sunday to purchase. He's working two jobs. He's going to court to try to get a pardon on his nursing certificate so he can still pursue that career (motivated). He's not hustling anymore, illegally (so he claims). He's a real cutie.

Negative: Dude has a fuckin record! He's living with his mom. He doesn't have a car. HE has a fucking record!

So... I immediately started praying on the whole damn thing... because he's young and has a FEDERAL RECORD... did I tell ya'll that? He has a RECORD!!! Not one that plays music... one of those that follow you for life, because you broke the damn law and tried to kill someone! DAMNIT!!!

So... I decided to keep our date for the evening: dinner and a movie... at least it's in public.

I pick him up at 8:30, cuz he doesn't have a car! Man... I hope he gets one soon! We get the tickets to STEALTH first, then head to Chili's for dinner. I learned that he has a real temper. The food server leaned over to refill Mr. Fixits drink and I looked at him as his face frowned up. He smiled and took a deep breath. He said, "You knew I was about to flip, hunh? I can't stand for people to reach over my food!" I suggested that he request the server to not reach over his food anymore. He decided to let it go. I can understand the whole reaching over the food thing... it is pretty damn rude! Then I found out that he quit his night job, because his manager gave him a test and he didn't do well on it, and claims that his boss was rude to him. I don't know... but what I do know is that he said, "I am not going to tolerate my employer talking to me anyway they see fit." Hmmm *caution light* dude has some major anger management issues! I think he has some serious issues with authority figures too. He informed me that he and his mother never got along, because his mother wanted him to be Muslim, and he wants to be who he is and as he is... hmmm *more caution lights*. He paid for dinner, and I had to teach him how to tip. I used to be a food server and $2 on a $30 tab ain't gonna cut it! He had no idea that food servers make LESS than min. wage and rely on their tips... hmmm... now he does!

We ventured over to the movies and I got heated with him, but he isn't aware of this. When I go to the movies, I wanna watch the movie. I'll cuddle with my date or hold hands or wateva the seats will allow, but I'm not gonna curl up in a damn ball with you OR talk to you. I'm there to watch the damn movie!! This muhfukka kept wanting to talk to me. I finally looked at him and said, "If you wanted to fucking talk, we shouldn't be at the damn movies." He shut up and allowed me to continue to watch the movie. BTW... STEALTH wasn't all that great. It had it's moments, but... I woulda rather saw DARK WATER or HELL'S REJECTS. Anywho... so... I'm watching the movie and I feel like I have a damn baby attached to me. He's all curled up on me with his head resting on my damn shoulders. I'm like.. WTF? Dude, you're an adult... sit the fuck up! I kept moving trying to get him to sit the fuck up, but he didn't get the hint. I finally sat all the way forward with my elbows on my knees. He's like... what's wrong? I'm like... shhhhhh! I'm watching the movie! Plus, I was tired. And the sleepier I get, the less patience I have. So the movie finally ends... *applause*... and we're riding home. I had a good time with him, but damn... 21? We're pulling up at his house, well, his mom's house... and he says, "I really had a good time tonight! We should go out more often. I need to get out the house more. I know we're just getting to know one another and I know this may not lead to a relationship, but I just wanna hang with you from time to time and get to know you better." I'm like... I'm cool with that... I can be ya friend! THEN he says, "Seriously... you seem like good people. And if you need anything... I mean ANYTHING... just ask!" This coming AFTER he tells me he can feel that I need a new wheel bearing. Got.dayum.it! So... maybe I'll keep him around... so he can work on my car... Friends... useful friends... are always good to have, right? As long as I keep it clear that it's JUST a friendship! THEN... he leans over and POW... HIS lips are on mine and DAMN they felt good! He smelled good, he dressed VERY WELL, and damn... he can kiss! He can hold a conversation and it's not elementary. He just has a lifetime record, lives with his mom, and has no ride! So...

He calls Saturday and wanted to hang... I declined. We talked on the phone for a while and called it a night around 10.

He called from work today and asked if I could pick him up from work, because his mom had to go somewhere. Shit... I ain't got nothing else to do... so I picked him up. He told me that someone brought by a Honda they're trying to sell, and he's going to buy it. YYEEEEAAA!!!! He's gonna have transpo!!! A step in the right direction! I took him to his house, he gave me gas money *applause*, and after he changed clothes and some smell good (and damn, he was looking good with his lite eyes), we went back to my place to chill. I had been cleaning my apartment all day. I woke up at 9am and couldn't go back to sleep, so I just started cleaning (kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, reorganized my bedroom, washed some laundry, etc.). I still need to vacuum and dust. My sheets were in the washer and I had to go pick him up before I had put sheets on my bed. He helped me make my bed... and was quite the gentleman! He touched NOTHING that he was NOT given permission to touch... which was everything related to sex! heehee Except my lips. I couldn't help myself. His kisses are GREAT! lol

So... we watched TORQUE... sucked! Some scenes were aight... but for the most part, the movie sucked! Then I whisked him BACK to his mom's place.

G.. baby... I agree with you... ain't NOBODY better than you! LOL This is why I starve myself! heehee

So... fellow bloggers... Mr. Fixit and I will continue to be friends... but I don't see anything growing from this...
Why?
1. He's not G! *waving... Hey boo!*
2. He's not G!
3. He's not G!
4. Dude... HE HAS A RECORD!
5. I can't see me taking him home to the family.
6. DAMN! Didn't I say he's not like G? LMAO

So... I've made a new friend. Period.

I saw Mr. Sexy from BP today. He made ONE appearance! AND GOT DAYUM HE WAS LOOKING FINE AS EVA!!! If only I knew how to conatct him! LMAO

29 July 2005

Why Can't He Be REAL

GOOD MORNING YOU SEXY MUHFUCKA!
You got that beautiful brown skin, big brown eyes that I could gaze into on the regular, soft smooth lips that I could kiss thru eternity, smooth skin that I could touch forevermore, and the hair of a king!
How I enjoy waking up to you looking at me every morning!!!!
It's just too got dayum bad that you aren't in person, and I have to log into blackplanet.com to see your face every morning!
I love you?! Hope you have a great day!
Seriously, ya'll, this man finds my way to my computer screen every morning, and I ain't complaining! Yeah, it's fate, cuz he's the advertisement for blackplanet love. Boooo... I ain't joining that shit! Cuz he prolly ain't even on there!
I'll just keep loggin' into bp every morning so we can visit! *NO... I'm not a fukkin internet stalker!* heehee I'm just glad he graces my presence once, sometimes twice, a day!

28 July 2005

TWO DAY BLOG

WEDNESDAY

CAR TROUBLE
So... I get in my car at lunch to go get some grub and "clicktabam"... my car won't start. I'm thinking, "All my lights are working, the seatbelt warning pain in my ass chiming shit is working, WTF?" I tried it again... same noise, no turn over. I'm like... FUCK! I cannot afford a new starter OR alternator!!!! So... I call daddy... yup... this is one of those times us lil girls who are grown ass women need our daddies... especially when we're single. I already had an idea of what the problem was, but dad said, "Try to jump it. Your battery may be low on juice and you may need a jump." A coworker tried to jumpstart my car... it didn't work. HOWEVER! We did notice some corrosion around the battery, but we thought NOTHING of it! I took one of the company vehicles to Burger King and got me a 99cent burger and a drink with the three dollaz I had on me. Shit... it's the end of the month... I'm broke till Monday! Returned to work and was talking to my old boss about my vehicle... He offered to take a look at it... in the 110 degree heat... so I said... okay... SUCKER! What, he thought I was gonna say no? Sheeit! Mr. Lopez told me that it could be one of three things due to the corrosion: a. the battery isn't kicking out the juice to the designated areas due to the corrosion b. starter c. alternator. At this point I'm thinking: Please let it be the corrosion, please please please!!!!!!!! We pop the hood of my GMC, I grab my toolkit (Daddy taught me well), and we go to work trying to take the cable off the battery, cuz there is an ass of corrosion! You can watch it fall off just from slightly touching it. Mr. Lopez knocked off enough to where he thought my car would start. I got in, stuck the key in the ignition, and WHOOOOPPPPEEEEEEE... my car started!!!!! I was off to Advanced Auto Parts to get them to take the cable off, brush off the rest of the corrosion, and spray my battery metal parts to prevent further corrosion! Man..... it was all to the good!

FLIRTING
Helped me to not have to pay for the deed of Advanced Auto Parts. Dude was a cutie, so I didn't really have a problem flirting with him. AND, I knew what I was talking about, so I'm sure it was a plus to hear an attractive female talk as if she has some sense about what's going on with her car.
Me: I have some corrosion built up around my battery and I was hoping you could help me remove the cable and help me remove the rest of the corrosion so that my car will start for the rest of the day. I'm having trouble starting the car, and I knocked off some of the corrosion just to see if that was my problem.

PT (that's his name): I can help you with that.

So, we walk outside and it went like this:
PT is trying to lift the hood and the thing is... you gotta push down a lil bit, hit the release lever, then lift the hood. So I tell him that.
PT: You got it nigga rigged?
Me: Nah, that's just how it is! *laffin*
PT: You know we about to get real hot out here, right?
Me: Yup! It's hot as fuck out here!

Seriously, it was hot as fuck! I have on open toe and heel pumps, standing on the concrete, and I swear I was ready to call the fire department to come put out the fire on my damn toes! I just knew that within seconds, my toes were gonna start smoking!

PT: You coulda told me you had a side battery
Me: You shoulda asked
PT: You're supposed to tell me things like this
Me: You didn't ask. Isn't your job to ask about the details of something you're going to fix? *giggle*
PT: You do have a lot of corrosion around your battery. I can see it falling off.
Me: Yeah, I noticed that while I was at work. I'm glad it's just the corrosion and not my starter or alternator.
PT; yeah... me too. I don't think I wanna sit out here and put in a new alternator for you. It's too hot. Where do you work?

me thinking: You'd put on an alternator? Is that a new service?

I told him where I work and he proceeded to tell me about his brother and some other personal information. It was cool. Like I said... he's a cutie. He proceeded to tell me about how he works two jobs and some other ish.... I was like... hmmm... he's flirting... I'ma get this shit done for free. He invited me to come to eat at his restaurant when it was all done and over with so that he could cook for me.

Me: hmmm... I'm not big on your restaurant... maybe you could cook for me on a personal note
PT: How about if I take you out and treat you to dinner?
Me: That'd be nice.

We discussed our work hours and I proceeded to give him my number. As I exited out the store he said, "If you have any more trouble with your car. I'll fix it for you... no charge!"

Hmmm... does this mean I have to give him a date for every time he fixes my car? Cuz you damn skippy I'ma take advantage of that offer!!!! LMAO Fuck it... he's a cutie... and well spoken... WTF... we can date! Free meals are the best meals! And shit... you can't beat FREE anything! Kamal... thanks for teaching me how to flirt to get free shit! *waving* I know you remember that night at the drive thru when you were flirting with that bitch! Where were we? CORKY's!!! LOL

LEAVING WORK
I get in my car and two of my coworkers have made it to their vehicles. I go to start my car... and the same shit that happened at lunch, happened again! I'm like... WTF!!!!!! My boss looks at me, and she looks like WTF? And my coworker looks the same way. MAN! I try it again, and it sounds like it's gonna crank, and then shuts off. At this point, I'm wondering WTF is wrong (cables not tight enuf on the battery? starter going out for real?). I give it one more time to start up... AND WHOOOOOPPPPEEEEEE my baby started! I kissed the steering wheel, cuz Lord knows me and Daddy ain't got the money right now for a new starter!

LESSON FOR THE DAY: IF YOUR CAR BATTERY HAS CORROSION AROUND IT, YOUR CAR MAY NOT START! THE HEAT CAN ALSO PREVENT YOUR CAR FROM STARTING, BECAUSE SOME BATTERIES ARE AFFECTED BY EXTREME HEAT! YOUR CAR MAY NOT START DUE TO CORROSION AROUND THE BATTERY AND EXTREME HEAT!!! SO, IF YA CAR DOESN'T START, BUT YA LIGHTS, RADIO, AND ALL OTHER THINGS REQUIRING POWER WORK... CHECK YA BATTERY FOR CORROSION! IF THERE IS NO CORROSION... UMMM... SORRY... YOU MIGHT NEED A NEW STARTER OR ALTERNATOR!

TODAY
I got stuck in a damn hail storm! I'm in my company's 15 passenger van, transporting clients, and it starts raining. I knew it was gonna storm, cuz I heard the thunder. We're driving and you can watch the lightening dance across the sky and down to the earth. It was scary, but exciting all in the same! I love thunderstorms and it's very rare that I actually get to watch the lightening pop during a thunderstorm. However... we came to a standstill in traffic and I was like... FUCK THIS! I ain't sittin in no damn traffic... so, I made a U-wee, and found a different route to our destination. As we enter South Carolina's campus, I start hearing this TINK, TANK on the van. Then I hear a CLUNK. I'm like... WTF? Then I see something the size of a damn marble bounce off the van that's white. I thought "Fuck... it's hailing... it's fucking windier than a damn muhfukka out here..." and I start looking for a damn tornado. I called my coworker to see if she had heard a weather report and all she had heard was that there were severe thunderstorm warnings all afternoon... so I told her "DUH! I'm in the muhfukka!" Then... ya'll remember those big ass marbles? One of those hit my damn van, but in the form of hail! I'm like, holy shit! We gonna fuckin die!!! LOL I pulled off the road, cuz I didn't want one of those pieces of fucking hail to crack thru the windshield and hit us... can it do that? We sat there for five minutes, then I was like "Fuck this... if a tornado comes, we got not a damn place to go for shelter" So, I braved the damn storm and drove in the damn monsoon. I couldn't see a fucking thing and the roads were got dayum flooded! Driving on the roads looked like Moses parting the damn sea!~ Walls of water on each side of the vehicle. We're stopped at a redlight and the emergency pain in my ass noise came across the radio. I'm thinking "Fuck... it's a got dayum tornado!" And I start looking for a place to take my clients! No dayum ditches, lots of fucking trees, and the closest building is 500 feet away~! "Fuuuuuck!" Then the fuckers say, "This alert is to warn of flash floods and there are reports of hail in the western parts of Columbia". I'm thinking "No shit! Floods? I'm driving in this shit you dumbasses! Hail? Nah... not today! It's too fucking pretty for hail! It's just the size of fucking marbles! You late ass muhfuckas!" (the EBS announced this shit 30 mins later) Word to the wise... don't rely on the emergency broadcast system. They suck! It's still pouring down rain and I have on my flashers so the assholes behind me can see me ahead of them, because it's raining so hard, you can't see shit in front of you. As we approach the five mile radius of our destination... the sky is clearer than a muhfukka and ain't a drop of fucking rain. Ahead of us is clear sky and behind us is this scary charcoal grey sky! Man... and I remained calmer than a heathen in church! LOL Seriously, on the outside, I was as cool as Snoopy. On the inside, I was a fucking wreck 'cuz I had to look out for my clients.

My car is still working!
But... my younger sister's is doing the same shit. I'm riding with her to Advanced Auto in the AM. Not the same one where cutie works, tho. But, if the trick allows me to do the talking and the flirting... I might get her shit done for free too! Hey sis! *waving* Love you! Keep ya fucking trap shut tomorrow, beeotch!

27 July 2005

IT'S TOO GOT DAYUM HOT

To blog or do anything else!

115 with a heat index of 130....

shit..

I was in the damn sun and heat all damn day!

Fugga blog!

I'll do this shit tomorrow!

I wanna enjoy the cool air in my apt!

OH... what's worse?

The fucking heat AND ya damn car not starting!!!!

Stay tuned for details!

25 July 2005

RELAXING AND CALM DAY

I awakened around 6am, cuz I had to pee. THEN I tried to go back to sleep, but it was useless... so I came in to the living room to check my email and my pc was all fugged up.....

I had to call a techie cuz I couldn't fix the problem. They had to turn off the stupid modem from their side of the dayum internet world before I could access the internet.

So, I went back to bed and decided to call they asses later....

Around 11am I decided that I wanted to invite my girl, Kristi, and her daughter from Aiken to come hang with me at the pool all afternoon. I had to talk Kristi into it, cuz she's PMS'ing. I told her, "Take some damn Midol/Motrin, get ya damn bathing suit, and be here at 1:30. That's an order, not a fucking request." This girl has been working her patootie off all summer and deserved to bask in the sun by a pool while her daughter played with the other kids in the pool.

So, that's what we did. We sat by the pool, mostly in the pool cuz it was fucking hot. It was so hot that the damn wasps decided to drink chlorinated water... I lie to you not! I was sitting next to a puddle on the concrete and this wasp looked at me like, "Move bitch, this is my water and I'ma drink it. Move your phat ass!" LOL Man, for real... can insects drink that stuff and not die? He returned 6 times within like.. 10 minutes... it was that fucking hot today!

My homegirl's daughter is such a cutie. She's Asian and black and is gonna be a knockout... Kristi and I are convinced that lil miss is gonna be dating some preppy white boys. It was fun to watch her interact with the other kids in the pool. At the same time... I was glad that I have no kids. Don't get me wrong, I love kids... but dayum... I love my freedom to come and go as I please, and I love the fact that I don't have to be responsible for another being. Man... plus, I have no hubby... and I don't want my child to be without either of her parents 24/7. Yeah, these days... there are all types of families, and kudos to all of you out there that live in different types of familial relations, but it ain't gonna be me. I don't want my child to have to roll like that.

ANYWHO...

LOL

At the end of the day, I'm glad that I decided to invite my college buddy to spend the day with me. We had a great time catching up, talking shit about folks, reminiscing about college, laughing at other people, and talking about relationship material type men. Not many of them out there. We even questioned whether we really wanna get married or not. Hmmm... it's a serious thing and it's gonna take a serious man to get me to be ready to marry his ass. Man... the same man for many years... wow... yeah, I could do it... but like I said... he'd have to be a serious and wonderful man in all kinda ways for me to consider being with him for life. I already know of one that I would be with for life... *hey G.... smiling and waving... can I have sum...* oops, sorry... forgot I was bloggin....

I go back to work, only to look forward to Saturday when I can lie by the pool again, soak up the sun, be in the water, read, and enjoy the simplexity of life.

BTW...
I've accrued some more haterz!!! Welcome, sit down, and lemme pour you a glass of haterade (yup, the purple kind, cuz that's my favorite color, and you will drink what I pour you, cuz you're MY guest, heehee)! You know who you are! Thanks for adding to my self-confidence and letting me know that I'm doing a damn good job out here!!! heehee

24 July 2005

SUMMER LOVE

1992

He was at the beach the last full week of my summer vacation. I had to go back to school the next week. My younger sis and I were hanging out in the Sand Dunes arcade, we lived a block up the street in Myrtle Beach, and in walked these two boys. We watched them for a little while, walked over to California Pizza to get some free grub, locals had that advantage then, and went to the pinball machine to play some more. All the while, still watching this tall boy with his short friend (they turned out to be cousins). They walked outside and an hour later, my sis and I decide to walk the beach for a while. It was evening, the best time to walk the beach, right after dinner. We didn't have to be in until 10pm. As we crossed the crosswalk onto the beach, the boys we had been watching were standing on the crosswalk talking with some other people we had met last week. My sis was introduced to Phil and I was introduced to Mike. Both were from Philly. And this is how the last week of my summer vacation started.

Mike and I saw each other everyday after dinner, because he was with his family AND on summer vacation. We made sure we knew what time we would be getting together everyday. I remember the way he would hold my hand or wrap his arm around me while walking the beach or just hanging out in the game room of the sand dunes. The kisses were passionate and when we separated to go home at night, we couldn't wait to get back to each other. This is when my younger sis and I learned how to sneak out of the townhouse.

On Tuesday, more people came into town and there were 8 of us hanging out. Man... we had so much fun! I was driving my "grocery getter" (Geo Metro twodoor hatch) and we would pile into it and cruise the boulevard at night. Man... such memories.

So, my younger sis and I learned how to sneak out of the house at night in order to get back to our summertime beaus! My sister was seeing Phil, and I was seeing Mike. It was my sister's idea to sneak out of the house. So.... we waited for our parents to go to bed (they stayed on the third level and we stayed on the second, the living area was on the first). After they'd go to bed, my sis would sneak into my room, and we'd wait another 45 mins so that they would be good and asleep. Then we'd stuff pillows under our sheets... ya know... ya gotta throw ya parents off somewhat! But, I'd be damned if I wouldn't have been fooled! Then we'd sneak down the stairs. Man, my ass is a heavy ass walker! You can hear me coming a mile away, but damnit, I was quiet as a church mouse going down those stairs. We learned where every creak in the stairs were and we would walk around the spots where the stairs would creak. Then, we'd get to the living area and sit on the couch and talk, QUIETLY, for another 25 mins in order to confirm that Mom and Dad had not awakened. As we got ready to leave out the back door, we decided to turn on a lamp. I don't know what the fuck we were thinking, because if we came home... it's not like Mom and Dad were dumb and would have turned the lamp off. LOL I guess we thought they'd turn off the lamp or we would be able to see them sitting in the living room when we came home. Like my Mom and Dad would have sat downstairs. SHEEIT... I'd woulda plopped my ass right down in one of our bedrooms or around the corner on the stairs just to scare the shyt outta our asses!

ANYWHO...

So, we turned on the lamps and SLLLLLOOOOOOOWWWWWWLLLLLLYYYYY opened the sliding glass door. We crept down the allies of our complex and into the streets we were! Yes, we had told the boys what time to meet us and where (3AM parking garage). My sis wanted to walk by the motel in front of our complex that was owned by one of Dad's teachers. I looked at her like she was fucking crazy. I snatched her by the arm, and we cut thru another ally towards 75th avenue. We lived between 73rd and 74th aves. After we got to 75th, we cut towards the ocean and the parking garage. We met Phil and Mike on the second level of the parking garage and had fun from there! We walked the beach and hung out on different floors of the hotels that had chairs and shit. There was one level we just sat on the floor to talk and this was where Mike and I first made out. WOW! I really enjoyed kissing him! There was no roaming of the hands, just strictly kissing and hugging. It was great! My sis and Phil had gone somewhere else. We decided to meet back up at 4:30 to go home... meeting place... the indoor pool level.

Our friend Shannon had come home and she was hooking up with Albert. OMG that girl was soooooooooooooooooooo in love! What I couldn't believe was that she gave her virginity to this dork!~ My sis and I comforted Shannon after our boys had left, because she was afraid she was pregnant. She wasn't thank god!!!! I remember he peeing in a cup and keeping it in Colby's freezer! LMAO...glad no one thought it was orange juice! I remember getting up early as hell the next morning to take Shannon to the clinic for the test. When she was done, she was crying as she turned the corner. My thought, "Fuck! Her mom is gonna kill alla us!" When we got in the car, I made her tell me what was up. She says, "I'm so relieved that I'm not pregnant!" I wanted to yell at her for scaring the shit outta me, but I was so happy we went to lunch instead!

So, anywho... Shannon spent the night with us one night while the boys were still in town. This being the night she gave it up for the first time. We snuck out at the same time and returned the same time, but this was our boys last night in town. They left for home the next day. Some of us cried, some of us just enjoyed our last moments together liplocked. We all exchanged phone numbers and addresses (this was before email). We girls had a wonderful summer to talk about all year.

Mike and Phil called me and my sis on the regular. They even mailed us Philly shirts. Mike used to spray his cologne on his letters, and I remember one letter he told me he had talked to his uncle about me and his uncle suggested that we watch "Same Time Next Year", because Mike would be back the same time next summer. The movie was about this man and woman who were in love with each other but lived so far apart, they would meet every year at the same time to see each other. Eventually, one stopped showing. Mike and I continued to write each other up until a month before he arrived for summer vacation. Little did I know that I would only see Mike once during his vacation and it wouldn't be the same. There was still a spark, and later in the year, Mike wrote to talk about prom. He wanted me to come to his prom, but there was no way. Mike returned the following year, but it wasn't the same. He had changed quite a lot and he had fallen in love with a girl in Philly. We still had fun while we were together that summer, but there was no summer romance like the years before.

mike... my summer 1992 summer love

What a summer to remember! Tell me about your summer romance (past or present).

23 July 2005

Man's Alluring Pic

Man's Alluring Pic
Good job blackplanet.com! You've got my attention, but I am not... I repeat, NOT... joining blackplanet love. Why? Cuz that FINE ass black man in the brown coat with the wool lining with his hair either twisted or starting to grow dreads is false advertisement! AND got DAYUM he is BEAUTIFUL!!! FOINE! Man, I even went to the properties of the picture just to SEE if dude's profile name, if he's a member of bp, was legit. Of course bp ain't gonna help u find the man you rEALLY wanna get to know cuz his looks got ya attention! DAYUM DAYUM DAYUM!!!! WEll... I must admit... I do enjoy the lovely eye candy when logging in to bp and being asked to join bp love. I just hope that bp doesn't take his pic down! Good googlymooglies! I get all excited every time his face pops up on my screen! What the phuck is your name, handsome?????

Damn.

MORE DAMN ROAD RAGE.... BUT
This fucker deserved this shit! I'm crossing the river, driving a 15 passenger van, driving 45-50 mph and I see this car up ahead blocking oncoming left lane and trying to turn left. As I'm approaching him I see him inch closer and closer to turning into my lane. I couldn't get into the right lane becuz of the car in my rear blindspot, so I slow down a lil bit JUST IN CASE THIS FUCKER DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING STUPID... Like pull out in front of me. AND LOW AND BEHOLD THE FAT BALD HEADED MUTHAFUKKA DID IT! He pulled out in front of me and I had to slam on brakes! Yup... I did it! I leaned forward, put my wrists on the steering wheel so I could still drive as I gave this bastid TWO fingaz! The middle ones, for all you slow readers. He proceeded to flip one back to me... so... YUP... I got dirty. LMAO I waved my fingers back and forth and flicked my tongue at him. LMAO... And proceeded to laugh at the bama! His kid in the back seat was giving me a thumbs up and laughing. I mean damn... even ya kid is rootin' for the person you pissed off? Oh... I didn't tell you that as I honked the horn at the bama when he pulled out in front of me he motioned for my big ass van to get over WHEN HEEEEEE was the slow driver and coulda proceeded into the other lane! FAT BASTID!!! Man... people do some real stupid shit out there!!!! I wonder how long he sat in the oncoming traffic's left lane. HMMMMMM..... STUPID BAMA ASS FUCKER!

MONSTER IN LAW
Cute move and some great one liners! J-Lo and Jane Fonda did a wonderful job. And Wanda Sykes... man... I love her!!! If it weren't for Wanda, I think the movie would have SUCKED ASS! Glad I got to see it for free (it was on the job) and it's a great date movie. Don't go see it with ya friends tho. I observed these two elderly white ladies during the movie. It was fun to watch them get all uptight when a sexual reference was made.... Man... I thought they were going to have a coronary every time sex or a body part was mentioned! It's amazing to see the difference in generations. Imagine that back in the day, a lady wearing a corset in a commercial or magazine ad was considered pornography. Imagine what the old hens are thinking about us now!

21 July 2005

HUMOUROUS, BUT FRUSTRATING Sugar Honey Iced Tea

THOUGHT OF THE DAY
Why do my ex's keep resurfacing? Ex's are Ex's for damn reason!

HUMOROUS PART OF THE DAY
I was riding towards my clients' apartments behind an elderly couple driving a gold volvo. I noticed a blue 4 door pontiac creep into the lane we were riding in in front of the volvo and barely miss the front of the volvo. No, the pontiac did not use a turning signal AND she wanted to turn left immediately from the righthand lane!~ Stupid ass bitch!
As we were approaching the redlight, I noticed the old couple had stopped directly beside the pontiac. I was like... Why the fuck are we stopping all the way back here... THEN I saw old dudes left hand fly up with his middle finger stuck straight in the air! This couple had to be mid 70s... and the thought of an old dude flickin off a young woman was hilarious... especially after driving by the female who made the fucked up maneuver. And his left hand was moving up and down like he seriously meant it. I swear I thought I saw him say "fuck you" too! Then you saw the old woman (who was driving) using her hands as if she were talking about what this dumb fucking assed young bitch almost did to them. The old woman was waving her hands towards the front of the car. When I rode by the young female, I had to look at her cuz I wanted to know what she was looking like after getting cursed out by an old couple. This broad looked distraught. She looked worried. Yet, she was on her cell phone all frowned the phuck up and looking straight ahead, like she was scare or something. Shit.... I found it hilarious to watch an elderly couple acting the way they did. And they prolly viewed as this wholesome married couple who have lots of grandkids. LOL Yeah... they skin was creamy WITH the liver spots!

WELL-ROUNDED PEOPLE
I am NOT talking about big ass fat people! I'm talking about the people who have taken the opportunity to listen to different types of music, visit museums to learn more about their or another's culture, someone who reads different types of books in order to gain more insight into different types of writings, someone who involves themselves in politics and actually votes on matters that do concern our future, etc. I read a blog yesterday that left me concerned about how people may view another, because of something that person may choose to do with his/her life. AND today... I was listening to The Michael Baidsden show and he was talking about the importance of experiencing different cultures in order to expand a person's horizon on life. Some of us are too hyped up on remaining a part of one culture when America is made up of so many different AND wonderful cultures. I loved living up North, because I was able to experience all types of cultures (west indian, arabic, hispanic, african-american, italian, etc.) Our nation is called the Melting Pot... HELLO!!! We all should take the time to experience AT LEAST one other culture outside of the Caucasian and African-American culture (only because they are so prevalent in the U.S. of A.). Eat another culture's food, listen to another culture's music, hit a museum to learn about another culture, HELL... hit a museum to learn more about your nation's history... what I'm saying is ENLIGHTEN YOURSELF AND BECOME A WELL-ROUNDED PERSON... FUGG what other people might think or say about you!

BODILY FUNCTIONS
We all have them (burps, farts, stomach growls, booger production... etc.) But why the hell are farts so damn funny? Is it the different sounds they can make? Is it because they can be embarrassing so we laugh them off? We don't laugh at burps (if it's a great belch, we might say good job), stomach growls, or a booger hanging from someone's nose... but if someone let's one rip... we laugh our asses off! What's up with that?

ROAD RAGE FOR THE DAY
Yup, I done did it again! I'm on my way back to my office to drop off the company vehicle so I can take my ass home for the day and first of all this dumbass chick is hanging out the window of her man's car looking like a damn fool! She has on these big ass The Fly sunglasses on her little alien shaped face and she looks like a dog hanging out her man's car window enjoying the wind blowing thru her weave. THEN this mahthafukka had the nerve to cut me off. It was cool... I took a deep breath and muttered, "Young ass bitch." THEN... the light is green... and the MAHTHAFAHCKA in front of the youngassbitch was moving "2 miles an hour so everybody could see him" in his big ass cop mobile. I'm the second car from this snail-like mahthafakka, so I honk the damn horn and yell "Comethefuckon Bitch!" Then I look in his damn car thru his rear window, still two cars back, and this bitch is looking back and forth as he is rolling thru the intersection. At this point, I'm like, FUCK THIS... and hit the gas and flew around this beeotch! I'm ready to get the fuck home, Tortoise! I look over at this fukkhead as I pass him and his girl is hanging out the damn window too! BUT... the car that cut me off wasn't rolling with tortoise, cuz he swerved around tortoise too. I was like... you mahthafahkka!!!! Why the fuck would you creep thru an intersection? HEll, we all wanna go thru the same damn greenlight YOU just went thru, fat ass!!! Ok, maybe he was lost... OK... well... if you miss ya damn road, turn around somewhere, don't slow everybody else up trying to figure out where the hell you're going! We all got places we want/need to be too, FUUUUKKKKKEEERRR!!!

Now that I feel better... I'm done.

20 July 2005

FRRRUUUUUCKKKK!!

DRIVING
Why is it that when you are trying to get somewhere everyone else wants to drive like it's fucking Sunday? My coworker is two cars ahead of me and we're both on our way home for lunch (we live in the same neighborhood). As we approach the river (that my apartment overlooks) traffic backs the fuck up. I look ahead and these dumbass SCDOT fukkers have blocked the entire westside bound lane. THEN... I'm noticing people having to jump their cars onto the median to go around a car that broke down in the lane we have to drive in. I'm like, "Fuck no! I'm not fucking up my tires. Who knows what kinda bullshit is on that median!" My coworker calls my cell: "Do you see this? Do you see how we're gonna have to jump our cars up on the median? Can you believe this?" I'm thinking... NO shit... SOMEFUCKINGBODY is gonna get a complaint from my ass. As we get closer, inching, towards this idiot who's car decided to shutthefuckdown... I watch my coworker jump her Ford Focus on the median... and I'm thinking "Why did she do that? There's no oncoming traffic... just dodge the cones!" So I did. I noticed three cars who obtained flat tires from having to jump the median, damn shame the highway fuckers can't do a better damn job! My damn lunch was short as fuck thanks to these damn fuckers who wanted to pull a treetrunk out from underneath the bridge.

BTW... all you fuckers out there who like to rubberneck (slowing ya ass down to try to figure out how/why someone is stopped on the road or why/how a traffic accident occured)... do us people who are driving to get to a destination a favor... Either turn ya fucking head all the way around till ya neck breaks OR think about the fucking traffic jam you're causing behind your nosy ass! OR... just get off the fucking road!

LAST NIGHT
I was bored and lonely as fuck! (I love the word FUCK. It makes things funnier and more interesting) I ate dinner and watched "My Wife and Kids", "One on One", "All of Us", and "Girlfriends". I called G a little after nine and he was at the Washington, DC baseball game... what the fuck are they calling that team? Told him to call me back when he and his left the game. THEN... as soon as I hung up the phone... I heard thunder. Ya'll... I LOVE thunderstorms! They relax me. I tried to find something else to watch on television, but there was nothing. So... I decided to turn off the boobtube, turn off all the lights, and lay on the couch to watch the lightening and listen to the thunder. It was great! As the rain poured down, I could feel myself drifting off to dreamworld. As I was laying there... I thought... "Wait! DAmnit! Did I just jump? Hell yeah, I did! That fucking predream hallucination!" I had "dreamt" that I had slipped in a mud puddle and that shit woke my ass up. It was cool though. I laughed and closed my eyes to go back to sleep.

TODAY (AFTER LUNCH)
I have a client who is blind and deaf. He's able to talk and thanks to his hearing aides, he can hear. Can you imagine how tough it would be if you could not hear OR see? I believe my client is pretty damn brave for wanting to learn how to function independently in the community with his disability! I took my client's to Baskin Robbins for ice cream today, and this guy truly amazed me! He was so thankful to be able to go out and purchase ice cream independently! He was worried about making a mess and thought he had made a mess bigger than he did... but it was just a drop of ice cream that melted and it wasn't that bad. He seemed to be so excited about going to Baskin Robbins. He discussed his first trip to Baskin Robbins years ago and he talked about what kind of ice cream he was going to eat (Vanilla in a cup, two scoops). He made me more alert to why I should be thankful for what I have, and he showed me that no matter what your disability, you can still go out there and do things. Think about it folks! What would you do if you had a disability that could prevent you from living independently in the community! Be thankful for what you have! And when you think you have it bad, remember.... there's always someone out there who has it worse than you!

TELEMARKETERS
First of all... get a new job! Stop calling and harrassing people!
Some Alien, non US Resident, asshole called my house this evening.
Him *in broken English and sounding Arabic*: Is Elizabeth home?
Me: *Elizabeth? Nobody calls me that except some stupid ass trying to get some damn money* "No, she's not here.
Him: What do you mean she's not there? Are you sure?
Me: I live here... I think I'd know if she was here, lives here, or isn't here.
Him: So, she's not there?
Me: Seriously, did you NOT hear what I just said?
Him: Ok, is she there or not?
Me: Talk to tone bitch!
and I hang up the phone...
Seriously... telemarketers who call to harass people, get a respectable job! Do you seriously enjoying getting hungthefuckupon? None of us real world poor people wanna talk to you assholes... no matter what! You're fucking annoying! All except that cute voiced male that actually hit on me on the telephone... you get ya props boy!!!! He was so cute! LOL Too bad ya ain't single, bruhva!

19 July 2005

Three More Weeks

And I'll be back in the company of G, if all goes well! We'll be meeting up again in NC for the weekend!

We departed ways on Sunday after checkout.

Saturday night we traveled to one of G's old friend's place so he could work with her on her business. He, also, visited with her brother. From what I understand, G used to live in Raleigh and knew these folks while living in Raleigh. Man... I was MISERABLE! After 20 minutes of sitting in this woman's house, I could feel my nose start to itch, my throat start to itch, and I became congested. I didn't smell any incense when I entered the house, but I did smell the weed. When we left, I was informed that she did have incense burning. Man, there are certain incense that I am allergic too... G didn't understand why I didn't speak up earlier.

G: "Why didn't you say anything? We could have left a lot earlier than we did."
Me: "I didn't wanna fuck up your visit."
G: "You wouldn't have."

So I'm sniffling and scratching my throat the whole way back to the hotel.

Once we arrived back to the suite, I washed my face and made me a drink, then another drink, and another drink. I was feeling good, so I let the Capt'n be.

Did I mention before how much I enjoy being around G and how horny he makes me?

Let's just say... within moments after downing my third drink... we were getting our freak on!

We got home after midnight and departed for Waffle House close to 5AM... that will tell you how long the freak lasted!

I really didn't wanna go to Waffle House, because I was sleepy and I had to drive home the next day, but G and J convinced me to go. It felt like it took forever to get to Waffle House. We ate, cut up, and returned back to the suite around 6AM. Funny how we always go home when the sun is coming up. On the ride home... I'm upfront with G (he's driving) and I've got my eyes closed b/cuz I'm so tired. I feel this hand touch my arm and he shakes me back and forth. Yup! I returned the favor. We did this several times. When we entered the suite, we both lunged for the bed. I was in first, then G slid as close as possible to me and wrapped his arms around me.

Me: "I've been wanting to do this since 8pm."
G: "What were we doing at 8pm?"
Me: "We left for your friend's house."
G: "Oh yeah. You got it now, babe."
Me: grinning and relaxed

We fell asleep and awakened around 10AM.

We just layed there watching television and rubbing on one another. Yes, it lead to other things AND....
We burned a hole in the bed before we left!

While I was in the middle of riding G, housekeeping entered the room. Nope... I did NOT stop! heehee

Told ya'll I'ma freak!

I took pics as we were departing.

I hugged J and told him to drive safely. Then I walked around and hugged and kissed G. I was already starting to miss G. I was surprised that I did not cry after leaving them/him. However, my heart was aching.

Yes, I drove to The Cookout to get my milkshake! It helped to comfort me on my lonely drive home.

As I walked through my apartment door, I felt this overwhelming feeling of loneliness and I started crying. It's amazing how much fuller my cup is after meeting G almost two months ago. I text'd him to let him know I had made it home.

G called me later that night to let me know he had made it home and we talked for while... well... until he lost his signal on his way to his house. I was informed that he/G may be living in Cary, NC next year.

G: "Ya know, I might be living in Cary next year."
Me: "That'd be alright with me." Thinking *I'd be up there as much as possible*
G: " I might only live there certain months during the year, cuz it gets so hot in the summer."
ME thinking *I don't give a damn... if you move closer, I'd be the happiest female*

Since meeting G, I look at men in a different light. When I'm approached, all I think is... "He's not G. He doesn't have a thing to offer me that G does not already provide."

I'm ready for the first weekend of August to be here...
AND I'm trying to be in MD two weeks after that.

Hey J! Sorry I made you take off that clown tee! I'm terrified of them muhfukkas tho!!!!!

G... See you soon Babes!!! Smoochez!

To ALL My readers:
Please remember that I am NOT providing you with everything that goes on in my life! Please remember that you're only receiving a fraction of what goes on between me and the people of my world! And I don't care what you think, cuz you don't know!

Thanks!
Much Love~!

16 July 2005

Miss All Night Long

I'm in Raleigh with G and J! I've been looking forward to this weekend since I found out that it was a go! I got here last night around 9ish and saw J first! It was such a great feeling to be reunited with these two! I hugged J while G was getting us checked into the hotel. J and I are talking and I turn around and there he is! Walking towards us is this liteskinned black man with a short haircut, scruffy face, inches taller than me, and my heart starts racing. What I really wanted to do was run to him and hug the shit outta him, but I didn't. I wasn't sure how to act, except civil. As he approached us, he seemed to play it cool, and I said, "Dayum! At least J gave me a hug!" (trying to press enter but the shit ain't werkin!, so this will be one long ass block) G looks at me, grins and embraces me. We walk into the room, get settled, and start talking. Just looking at G I get horny. When he talks, it makes me hornier. G has some work to do, so I go sit on J's lap and talk with J while G is completing his work. I decided I needed to shower, so I went to the bathroom to run myself a bath. After I bathed, I put on my c thru robe and walked into the main area of the suite. Yes, G and J are sitting in there. G and I are freaks, and G claims to be a voyeur and likes to watch and claims to not get jealous and will share me. So, I tried him... and it was awesome. J had switched to the couch, so I sat in the chair where we had been sitting before my bath. You know what pissed me off about my bath? I was looking forward to soaking for a while, and the gotdayum plug did not stop the water from draining out the tub. Sooooo..... I had to continue to run the dayum water while I was soaking so I wouldn't run out of water. It was a quick ass bath. Anywhoo.... so I'm sitting in the chair. As G completes his work, he looks at me and tells me to come to him. I teased him and he eventually said, "Get your ass up and come the fuck here woman!" He then got up and came to me and sat on my lap. Remember, I have on a c thru robe. I have 36 triple D tiddies and I wear a 16 in jeans, because my ass is so phat. He plays with my body, and J is still sitting on the couch. I start to get even hornier, and G gets up, and insists that I sit on his lap. I do. he plays with my clit and rubs the insides of my thighs which starts to work me up. I eventually straddle G and am facing him. J and G decide that we need some music, so J runs to the truck and gets the cd's. G and I are just horny as fuck... I could have cum while he was listening to me breathe in his ear and he was running his fingertips along my skin and through my hair. I could feel my breaths becoming quicker and quicker, my pussy getting wetter, and my hormones becoming more enraged. I look G in his eyes and he knows how horny I am, then enters J with the music. It was time for some lapdances. I still have on my robe, but it is not tied. The entire front of my body is in plain view. My nipples are hard and pussy is glistening with moisture. G's first with the lapdances. I really enjoyed dancing on him. I could feel his cock become harder and could see within his eyes how much he wanted me. I made some money too... lol.... but I gave it back. These are people I know, muhfukkas! G tells me to give his cousin a lapdance. I get up and walk around to where J was sitting. I sit on J's lap facing him and begin grinding against his lap. It starts to get hot so I remove my entire robe so that I could have more room to move AND to become cooler. Eye contact is the main ingredient to lapdances (hint to the ladies). I could see J become horny... his eyes became glossy. While I was dancing on J, I would look over to G and he was watching and seemed to be enjoying the lapdance just as much, if not more than J. He was grinning, had sex in his eyes, and was nodding his head in approval. I would give him the seductive grin and continue to grind on J. Then I decided to turn around and face away from J while still grinding on J's lap. I bet over and bounced my ass up and down on J's lap, and received a dollar for that. LOL It was all in fun... remember, I gave the money back today! I hear G say, "Okay, enough of that!" And he's standing in front of me. He bends me forward and starts rubbing my body as if he were trying to make my pussy wetter than it was. Remember, I'm still bouncing my ass on J. G sits on the table and pulls off his shorts and I insert G's dick into my mouth. His dick tasted so good in my mouth. I didn't want to stop sucking on it. J is behind me with my ass, moving it around, and smacking it just like I like my ass smacked. When he smacked my ass, I could feel it ripple. I love that shit! And when you, men, smack a female on her ass the CORRECT way, she can feel it in her pussy. So, yeah, my pussy got even wetter!!!! I can feel G's dick getting harder and harder in my mouth and he says, "Ok... it's time." J pushes me up into a standing position (he has removed his pants), G throws on a condom while J is walking to get a condom and I sit on the top of the back of the couch, G lifts my legs on his shoulders and we start fucking! HOLY SHIT! I swear it's like G's dick fits perfectly in my pussy! I can feel him on every wall of my pussy and at the bottom of my pussy. It was the greatest feeling to feel him enter me and know we had become one. Well, I didn't last long on the top of the couch. BTW... we started out with him hittin it from the back. But we both kept losing our footing so we had to find a new position. We ended up in the bed. G removed his condom and I sucked his dick some more. Did I mention how much I enjoy giving head? Especially when I see the man totally relaxed and can hear him moan from time to time. It gets me hornier. G looks at me and says, "Ready for round two?" I just grin. He instructs me to back my ass up towards him onto the side of the bed. As he enters me, I feel my pussy get WET! I think he stroked it about 5 times and I started cumming all over his dick! I told ya'll... this man's dick is like WHOA! I can feel EVERYDAMNTHING! I'm in there moaning and screaming, because I am in so much bliss and feeling so much pleasure that I can't control my noise level. After we were done, I heard a recording of me. J had returned from the store and had recorded my cumming sounds from the other room on his phone. J left while I was sucking G's dick. I think I sucked his dick for a good 45 minutes. After G and I completed our entire session, we found our way back to the living room. I had on a T-shirt, J had retreated to his bedroom, and G and I curled up together on the couch, watched some kickboxing and fell asleep. I woke up around 3AM and went to the bathroom, I thought G would still be on the couch, but he had made his way to the bed. I crawled in with him, curled up behind him, and eventually located the sandman again. This morning we woke up, cuddled while watching cartoons, I sucked his dick for a while, curled back up with him, and he eventually got up to get dressed, because, yes, he does have some business to attend to here in Raleigh. After he left, I showered, dressed, cleaned up the suite, and J and I went to Fridays to get some grub. J and I got to know each other a little better and enjoyed talking about certain women together while eating. Did I tell you all that I'm bi? LOL... I am. And I love it! I love to be able to talk with a man that I'm interested in about other women. And we usually have the same taste in women. After J and I finished eating... we decided to find an ABC store so we could get some dayum likka! the stupid ass waiter that gave us directions sent us on a wild goose chase. We ended up in another section of Raleigh (Apex) and we knew we should be in Cary, cuz we were directed to get on Cary Parkway. We drover thru 2 different shopping malls and there wasn't ONE dayum ABC store in either of them. We decided to go back to the hotel... cuz, damn, I had to shit. After I took care of bizness (yeah, it was one of those "don't anybody go to the bathroom for 35, 45 minutes. Dayum, someone open the window" type shits) J and I decided to go back on our adventure to locate the likka store. We decided to drive the OTHER way than what the stupid ass waiter told us to drive AND BOOM.... there was the dayum ABC store! I blocked J from purchasing the likka, cuz he had bought us lunch. I'ma be drinking some Capt'n and Coke tonight while J is sipping on some.... Remy I think. I don't remember what he bought. I learned one thing... well... got it confirmed anyway... while eating lunch and talking with J. ALL YOU LADIES OUT THERE.... If ya man has long hair and gets it cornrowed by another female, because YOUR ass don't know HOW TO... you betta learn! I promise you... ya man is either tempted to or HAS fucked the woman who does his hair... ESPECIALLY if the female is taking the braids out AND washing his hair! There's something about a female playing in a man's head that makes his hormones awaken! yeah, it starts out harmless, but it has the tendency to lead to other things! I've always wanted to learn how to cornrow, because I really didn't want another bitch playing in my man's head. NOW I KNOW I need to learn how to cornrow a man's hair! Can anyone tell me where I can learn how to do this? Is there a manual I can purchase? Anywhooo.... after J and I purchased the likka, G two-wayed J and informed him that he was pulling up back to the room. We showed up about 10 minutes later. G's not sure about the job opportunity here in Raleigh, but I know if he takes it, I will be finding my way back to Raleigh more often. Now he's sleeping as I'm typing this post. he looks so peaceful and angelic. Am I in love? heehee All I can do is stare at him and my heart is just fluttering away with glee. I'm ready to purchase a flight to MD for August. J is in his room asleep and I'm awake, typing this thing, watching G sleep, and watching "Little Nicky" (that Adam Sandler movie where he's Satan's child and is on Earth trying to capture his brothers). My favorite part is when the demon gets the tits put on his head, when Hitler gets the pineapple shoved up his ass (that shit is GREAT! The fukker deserves a punishment like that!), and when they say Popeyes is the shit! Cuz Popeyes is the shit! You can't go back to Bojangles, KFC, OR any other fast food chicken AFTER you eat Popeyes' chicken!!!! Dayum... now I'm craving it. While I'm in Raleigh I have to go to The Cookout (restaurant) so I can get a peanut butter fudge milkshake! You can't get those anywhere else. Well, you can, but it ain't the same! So, that is a must for me before I depart Raleigh! G brought me some UTZ potato chips, cuz you can't get those damn things in the south! And I love UTZ chips (Carolina BBQ AND Honey BBQ chips!) YUMMI! I brought G and J the bracelets I bought for them while on vacation. J's didn't fit, but he did his best to put it on... I thought it was gonna cut off his circulation. i thought it was awefully sweet of him to try to put it on and wear it! G wasn't here when I pulled them out of my suitcase, so I connected it to his shaving kit bag. not sure if he's seen it yet. The bracelets are from Indonesia (www.tenthousandvillages.com). I also brought them my company and some freakiness!! We depart tomorrow.... and I'm not ready to leave! I love being around both of them, but especially G, ya know? He's my boo! I wonder all the time that if I still lived in MD would he and I be seeing each other on the regular.

09 July 2005

RETURNED, RELAXED. RESTED

But I don't feel like blogging
Just wanted to let you know I'm back...
I'm going to rest and relax some more....
When I feel like sitting here to blog... I will!

Yes... vacation was SUPERB, FUNFILLED, AND REWARDING!

01 July 2005

I AM OFFICIALLY ON VACATION... BYTCHES!!!

First of all...
Rest In Peace, Luther Vandross!
I'm sure you are dancing with your Father as we are looking forward to dancing with Him one day!
We will continue to play your music! Cuz... can't NOBODY do it like LUTHER!!!


My day started out wonderfully! I wasn't gonna let a damn thing bring me down today! Why? SHEEIT... IT'S FRIDAY AND AT 6PM I WILL BE OFFICIALLY ON VACATION, DAMNIT!!! I roll out of bed and I'm pumped... ready to get my day started so I can end it at work!!!

Well, I get to work and I walk into my boss's office to wish a coworker farewell, because she is resigning and taking a position as Vice President of a local, historically black college (Allen University). We hug and I tell her how excited I am for her and she states, "Make sure you go to school as soon as possible and get away from this place!"

My thought: "HUNH?!" in that scooby doo voice

coworker: "This place is gonna get a lot worse before it gets better."

She proceeds to tell me that management is under construction and that there will be new changes soon. I'm thinking... ok... changes can be a good thing. THEN she bursts my bubble... she tells me that my immediate supervisor is going to have one of my coworkers follow me and my immediate coworker around when we go to visit our clients, because it has been reported that we don't achieve our daily productivity rate.

AGAIN... "HUNH?!"

My coworker and I have to gain 40 units a day of billing time with our clients... which usually amounts to spending 4 hours a day with at least 5 of our clients. We can bill in groups so that we can gain a higher bill time. We have two sides of town that we work on. One week, my coworker is on one side of town, the next week she's on the other... when she's on one side of town, I'm on the other. Well... when we're on this ONE side of town, we have difficulty obtaining our 40 units. Why? 1. They are at different locations and live in houses compared to the clients who live in apartment complexes on the other side of town. 2. They have jobs and cars. 3. They are more independent than the clients on the other side of town. Basically, it's hard to touch base with the clients on that ONE side of town!

HOWEVA!!!!
When we're on the side of town where the clients live in apartment complexes, we achieve our billing units AND then some! so, we basically make up for the productivity loss when we're on the other side of town!!!

So...
I'm thinking...
why hasn't my boss brought this up to me? Why does he feel as if we're not doing our job? And I start to get upset, because I can't stand a coward ass supervisor who can't talk to his employees.

I complete my billing notes for the day and I go to lunch. While I'm on lunch I call my father, because he is wise in his age AND he has experience in the work world with different types of personalities!

My father cautions me and informs me that the person who is leaving the agency may have some ill feelings towards our agency and may be feeling vengeful. I think... duh Ashley, WTF are you thinking? lol Then my father tells me to be cautious, but to approach my boss and talk with him about my concerns, BUT to think about how he would react before I approach my boss, because if I approach him about my productivity, he may think that I am out there clowning around and the boss will start to look for screwups. After talking with my dad, I decided to just brush off the conversation between me and the resigning employee. Hell... she might be illwilled towards the agency. So... I said, FUCK IT... ate my lunch and did what I'm supposed to do at work. Then I said a lil prayer that went like this, "God, help me to contain my negative energies, to not go off on anyone, and to be productive today."

LOL...

A lot of good that did! I was backing up the car, while out with clients, and there wasn't a car in sight! Then I hear this damn horn blowing the fuck up! I look in my right rearview and it's this old ass shouldn't be driving a car lady who came out of nowhere. I'm already halfway out of my parking space and THIS bitch is telling me to move! I'm thinking: you doofus ass bitch... where the fuck am I gonna go but forward AND I was pulling out of this damn space before you decided to pull into the damn parking lot! REmember, I'm with my clients...
I let it rip: "Move you old bitch!" Thoughts: "OH shit... I just fucked up!" To my clients: "I'm sorry ya'll! I'm having a bad day. That does not excuse my behaviors and I apologize for my inappropriate behaviors. I will not use profanity against you all, ever!"

My clients: "It's okay. We understand you're having a bad day. We can't expect you to be at 100% every day! Just don't curse us out. The lady was in the wrong and she should have waited till you had completely moved out of your parking space."

Seriously, I wanted to get out and choke that old ass bitch! When people turn 60 they should have to take the driving test all over again, take a perception test, And have to redo this shit every 5 years!

Anywho... we got past that incident (well I hope anyway... my luck, I'll come back from vacation and here about my cursing in front of the clients).

Forgot to mention yesterday that I ran a redlight, ACCIDENTALLY, and the damn camera took my fucking picture! That'll be some more shit to look forward to! Bitch ass cities who can't afford cops! What if the damn camera is faulty?

So......
I returned to the office early, so that I could complete my billing (we have to turn it in within 3 days of seeing the client). My boss addresses me and tells me he wants to talk to me.

Boss:
I need to talk to you about something. I'm not supposed to be opening my mouth, because we aren't sure of anything yet, but I don't want my employees to be in the dark about anything.

My respect for my supervisor rose to new heights.

Come to find out... due to other programs that will be opening within the agency, our CEO will be taking on more responsibility and my boss will need to take on more responsibility, so SOME of the job requirements will be changing. That dimwad that's resigning made shit sound worse than it really will be. HOWEVA...there have been some management changes... but I think it will be for the better.

Now I'm off work... and am like... fuck work... it's my vacation BITCHES!!

Lesson for the day... ASSUMPTIONS = ASS U ME = ASSUME = USELESS WORRYING AND ANXIETY

Now I'm home, washing clothes, typing in this stupid thing... cuz I promised ya'll I'd blog before I left... and I'm packing!

Now I will leave you with this

Me Myself Personally: (in random order)
1. Would not loan money to someone if I don't have enough money for myself. Hell, I got bills to pay too!
2. Would not purchase a pet just to have one if I can't afford to take it to the vet. Seriously, your pets deserve to be vaccinated, to have physicals yearly, and to visit the vet when they are sick.
3. Would not date a man with jacked up teeth or smelly breath. If I were to kiss him, I'd feel like I was kissing a a garbage disposal or a dumpster (ewww... RABIES, RABIES!).
4. Would not date a man with busted shoes. If ya shoes are busted... what about ya drawers and the rest of ya body?
5. Do wait to do laundry until I'm down to my last three pair of panties, I've used my last towel, or I'm down to my last pair of sheets. Hell, I need to conserve laundry detergent! That shit is expensive!
6. Would consider doing some freaky shit for my man as long as he has proven that it's ME he wants! heehee Hell, if I don't do it, another bitch will.
7. Would NEVER purchase concert tickets for more than $25 unless the entertainer has put it in writing that they WILL perform longer than a damn hour! My money is WORTH SOMETHING DAMNIT!!! PERFORM BITCHES!!!
8. Will travel to see my man! Gotta keep him happy!
9. Would consider relocating for my man, as long as he has reassured me that he's in it for the long haul! I ain't giving up a perfectly good job and location for just any damn man out there!!! YOU GOTS TO BE SPEsHUL!
10. Would NEVER refer to myself in the third person when speaking to others! That's just IGNANT!~

I'm on vacation BITCHES!!! See ya'll in a week!!!!
OHHHH... BEEEEHAAAYYYYYVE!!!