This Woman's Worth

30 August 2005


I'm sure all of you have been watching the news and experiencing the pictures of devastation that Alabama, Mississippi, and, especially, Louisiana have witnessed. I hope that all of you are praying and doing your best to contribute to the needy.

New Orleans is completely under water. The only way you know a house or building is there is the scene of a roof floating in the water. People have been jumping from the nosebleed sections of the SuperDome in order to end their grief. 100 degree heat with NO electricity, food, or water. Can you imagine?

One of the most devastating stories I heard today:
Female Reporter: Sir...
Man with little girl: It's gone. It's all gone.
Reporter: What do you mean it's all gone sir?
Man: My house. It's gone. She's gone. I don't know where she is.
Reporter: Sir, who? What do you mean she's gone? What happened?
Man: My house. It split in half. The water. It came rushing in. I tried to hold on to her. She's gone.
Reporter: Who sir? Who's gone?
Man: My wife. The water came in and I couldn't hold on to her. She told me to let her go and to take care of my kids and my grandkids. She's gone. My house is gone. It's all gone.
Reporter: Crying
Me: crying

I watched people being rescued from their roofs and attics with smiles on their faces, because the Coast Guard was there to help them and take them to safety. My heart continues to cry while thinking about the people who were lost and what these people lost and are continuing to lose.

And what's next? Health dangers. Dead bodies floating in the streets, alligators lurking in the water, people dying from carbon monoxide poisoning, mosquitos breeding west nile disease in the still floods of water, looters.... it's a third world country: no phones, no electricity, no medical help, no food, no water. And the water is sure to rise higher. Levies breaking. Gas leaks. overflowing toilets. raw sewage. Flooding to continue. Scary? Unbelievable? death.

My question is this:
Why didn't the mayor and the governor fight harder to bus the people who did not have transportation OUT of this city? yes. It is possible. When Hurrican Hugo blasted through my home town, the mayor AND governor of SC knew they needed to bus the people in the shelters farther inland. They sent MANY a school bus to all the shelters and around the city in order to bus these people farther inland. Where would they have sent the people of N.O. is the biggest and greatest question. Hopefully, IF N.O. is recovered fully, ever... it's a lesson learned and there will be better evacuation planning for future hurricanes.

And here we are complaining about gas prices going up while precious loved ones are being lost to Katrina and her remnants.

A culture, language, and lifestyle are being destroyed. And here we are complaining about life's simplicities.

Again, a lesson about taking for granted what we are given.

Thanks to brooklyn babe for the insight of it being said that the hurricanes travel the paths of slave ships. If you think about the past hurricanes that have slammed into the coasts, they do hit slave trading towns (Charleston, SC; New Orleans; Miami; Maryland coast; Hatteras, NC and the list goes on). There was a definite angry soul traveling upon Katrina's winds.

Again, please pray and do your best to contribute to the needs of these people! AND... thank God for what you do have and please don't take it for granted!!!!

28 August 2005


She's a bad bitch!
Wide on all her sides!
Destroying everything that stands in her path!
She started out small and grew to be catastrophic!
The Big Easy?
She's BIG, but NOT EASY!
Man... she can move and talk!
She's gonna swallow everything in sight!
man... I always dreamed of drinking one in The Big Easy.
And I'm still hoping that I'll be able to one day!
Losing power as she continues to leave the wetness of her current path and travel to dryer and dryer lands.
BUT... her power decreases SLOWLY. No one can slow her down except the higher being.
She breaks glass at the drop of the wetness she produces.
People swear they ain't scared of her and that they can handle her.
But she's a bad bitch!
I would suggest that in the future, if a bad bitch the size of Florida approaches your home, you run far away!
My thoughts, heart, and prayers go out to those in the path of Katrina!
She's a BAD BITCH!

Were entertaining and peaceful till FAT JOE began to depart the stage and said:
"I just want everyone to know how safe I feel thanks to the security provided by G Unit"
I'm in my seat saying, "DAAAMNN~! FUCK!"
And as he is walking off the stage all u hear are Fuck you's and Fat Joe Fuck You!
I know that the people behind the scenes were yelling "Got to commercial! Fuck! Hurry! Go to a fucking... got dayum I can't believe he did that.... commercial!"

Later in the show, G Unit performs and after they finish, 50 let's Fat Joe know they coming for him. Again, the behind the scenes people were fretting... and I'm sure they were for the rest of the show after Fat Joe left the stage.

I don't understand why these so called "hard core rappers" have to fight with one another. They are all out there doing the same thing... making music to make money. Why can't they just accept each other's differences and move on. Enjoy each other's music and learn from one another?

INSTEAD... we're going to be hearing about Fat Joe's ass being shot or shot at, because... IF ya'll didn't see the VMA's last night... and unless Fat Joe's fingers are quick on the trigger, 50 is FUCKING HUGE! I mean... damn... his upper arm is as big as my damn calf! I got some thick calves, ya'll! Okay... his arm is as big as my thigh, not my calf.

I wasn't too impressed with the performances... not many of the current stars are really all that talented.

Shakira was the shiznit! I love her!

Destiny's Child didn't win shit... and I loved it. I loved it when they zoomed in on Beyonce's face and she was looking like "ummm what?" Eat that humble pie girl!

I don't know who that chick was wearing the fredericks number... but damn... she coulda got it!

Mariah did a better job singing. As long as she stands still she can sing. But... I coulda dealt without her ass jumping in the water and splashing around.

R. Kelly sang the newest chapter to In The Closet... let's just say the gay husband came to his damn hetero senses! Stupid fucker!

MC Hammer performed... Will I Am from The Blackeyed Peas had to take his glasses off and rubbed his eyes in order to believe it was Hammer. It was! Hammer hasn't lost a step!

And of course... what's Miami without UNCLE LUKE!!! AND his booty rump shakers! I WANNA ROCK I WANNA ROCK... shake it shake it, pop that... ahem ahem...

moving on

I think I am going to start listening to More Coldplay and that weird group that sings Helena. And Green Day... I've always loved them! They won 7 of the 8 categories they were nominated for!

Hmmm... what else....

Diddy gave a Jacob of Jewelers phat ass watch to one of the kids in the pit. That's was cool! Security took it from the kid and gave it back to Diddy and Diddy apologized to the kid and informed everyone that he really meant for the kid to have the diamond studded watch, and gave the kid the watch, again! Diddy won some kool points with me.

Snoop and Gwen Stefani won 100grand each to donate to their charity of choice since they were 'best dressed'. I think their wardrobe sucked! I woulda chose Shaq and the girl with the fredericks see thru.

Destiny's Child was LATE.

John Legend AND Common were looking like... *drooling*... damn! I want Common to get a moon man one year!

Ludacris won his first moonman AND was humble about it!

Can someone PLEASE tell me why Sway (the VJ) insists on wearing those stupid ass hats on his head instead of allowing his dreads to flow freely? I bet he'd be sexier without the damn thing on his head!

Paris damnimablonde Hilton... ugh! Will someone please shoot her and put her out of her misery? AND MINE!

Was Kelly Clarkson REALLY America's Idol? I know she can sing... but ummm... what was all that yelling last night? She scared me.

And I was impressed with how Miami recovered so quickly from Katrina's passing by. I was truly entertained AND there were times that I could have been found sitting on my couch, screaming yea's, and clapping. I loved the water surrounding the stage... although there were some technical difficulties with the walkthrough water bows.

Hmmm... I wonder if the cannonball dude had to get it approved by BOTH sides of the border to be shot across the Mexican border. This old white man was shot out of a cannon from ONE side of the border to the other! Gives new meaning to crossing the border! Seems a lot faster too... and less secure. He even carried his passport with him, just in case! Glad he hit the net... cuz that would have been one landing in the sand!

27 August 2005


Here are my random thoughts that keep crossing my mind this evening!

Damn... I wish I was at the bike show... but not really... I just wanna be riding with someone on the back of the bike... enjoying each other's company... enjoying feeling the freedom of riding the bike... laughing with one another at redlights... holding on tight while we riding wheelies... I need a man with a bike.

I wanna know what it's like to be in love... LONGTERM

Damn... I wanna go do something.... ain't shit to do tho.

Ain't shit on television...

Damn... I really don't feel like bloggin'

Guess I'll create a new CD

Damn... why did I leave B'more?

I wonder what.... a whole lot of peoples is doing (G, Kim, Kara, Erica, Keith, Lex, Grayse, Frank, Rosean, GG, Mai, Mike - damn he logged on, Lynn - that bitch is up in the hamptons living it the fuck up this weekend, and various others)

Oh... I'm cuttin' that muthafucka off! No he didn't say "I'd be aight..." after I was messin' with him about having another female's butt on my seat on his bike! LMAO... seriously... he's on restriction! Nah, fuck that. He's cut the fuck off! FOREVA!

I really wanna fall in love, be in love, and stay in love....

I wish I had a man that wanted to spend his weekend free time with me. Hmmm... I wonder what we'd be doing right now... movies? cuddling? eating? the park? damn.

Madagascar really wasn't all that funny.

The 40 Year Old Virgin was hilarious!

I wanna go to the movies...

Cher is the shit... "Do you believe in life after love? I can feel something inside me say... I really don't think you're strong enough!" LOL Fuck you! I'm strong enuf!

Fukkin Anon and damn Demo went to VA Beach and didn't invite me! fukkers Anon BETTA take me riding when he gets back! lol

Man... this slow shit is depressing... ok... I can jam to that! (Click Five... Just the girl)

I'd be doing the same shit if I still lived in MD... but at least Erica would be around the corner and I could go fuck with the dogs and talk shit to her man.

wonder if they'll cancel the VMA's with Katrina reaking havoc in FL?

Glad I'm working tomorrow... or I'd be bored all ova again! I should go riding and see if I can find a bike to ride. What I really need to do is buy my own! I can't believe that fucker said that to me! JERK. lol

Diddy... ugh... why do people have to change their names... sheeit.

WELCOME TO JAMROCK! WTF was he thinking? I guess he needed money fast.

I could work out... but I really don't feel like it

Welcome to jamrock! lmao

Man... my ex's are assholes. Glad I got rid of them! And that fukin DJ was married the whole damn time. JERK!

Grayse seems cool as shit! Man... I hope I get to make it to VA for that meetup! That would be a whole lotta fun!

I wish it would rain! Then those fuckers would have to get off their bikes! lol I'm so evil. The rain would match my damn mood too!

I'm really NOT looking forward to job hunting on Monday, BUT I need a part time gig! And the extra cash would be great!

Great! WTF does HE want? *answers phone* OF course... he wants to come over, he wants some bootie..... uuuuggghhh! NO, hell no!

awww... he's so cute! Too bad he's in ATL! hmmm... he could prove to be worth some road trips tho! And my girl travels to ATL to see her man... we could carpool. Wow... he's got great lips... and look at his lil nose! awww.... he's got some great genes! I could get lost in him... look at his bedroom eyes.

I wanna see G. I miss him.

I'm such a hoe. lmao. Kim... what you think? Nevamind... don't answer that.(smooches... hey Winta!!!! I miss our college days ya'll!)

Man... '97-'99 was the sheeit! Those were the best years of my life thus far!

Why THE FUK am I single? Man... someone great MUST be coming my way!

I'm like fucking Samantha in SEX AND THE CITY! Sheeit... I ain't trying to be lonely like her ass!

Why do people slow down these damn songs... slim thug sounds retarded in slo mo. tiiipppppiiiiinn fooooooeeeee foooooooeeeeee's.... miiiike jones I'm miiiiike jones...

I wish I was at the beach with Kara! I coulda gone mud boggin today! 4wheelin and dirt bikin! damnit

*unda the boardwalk... out in the sun... unda the boardwalk,we'd be fallin in love... unda the boardwalk, boardwalk* I love that song! Ahhh... the family roadtrips. I miss my daddy!

If I went to Caribana or somewhere in Luda's song... would I see him? Hmmm...

Must be nyce to be so fuckin wealthy... fuckers.

*I know you been searching for someone... to satisfy you... and give you so much more!* You damn right Fat Joe! I wanna know what it's like to be in love damnit!

Fuck this blog. I'm done for now!

22 August 2005

Sex ED

Human Sexuality
Ok. I watched a show on TLC last night about Human Sexuality and learned some stuff. I learned that the reason men cheat is 'cuz it's in their genes/nature to procreate/reproduce. Ummm... Does that excuse their cheating behaviors? HELL NO! lol Since the beginning of time and their life they have been waiting to stick their lil dip stick into a vagina so that they can let their lil beings swim and try to live to make a baby.

I also learned the the females' clitoris has more nerve endings than any other place in her body! HINT MALES! ahem... hint muthafukkas! The clitoris has 8000, YES... 8000 nerve cells! HMMM... and u men wonder why we want you to focus on the "little man on the boat"! It's cuz that is our MAIN pleasure principal! LOL

MEN: Did you know that when your penis is limp, it's actually tense? YES... when your penis is in it's erect state, it is the most relaxed! And... AHEM... LADIES! The harder the man's penis becomes, the more relaxed the penis becomes! Work your magic ladies!!! Nitric Oxide (no... not the laughing gas although that hard thing can be funny looking at times) fills the tissue around the penis which makes it become hard... NOT JUST BLOOD... DUH! (grabbing forehead and sighing)

AND... I learned, and was truly amazed, that sexuality is all driven by the mind. Men... u all can have sex almost wheneva you want. Ladies... and, AHEM... MEN (please pay attention) females cannot just up and decide to have sex... sometimes they have to fantasize about it during their day to jump ya bones as she walks in the house, if she's anxious about something... cancel the sex, basically, wheneva the females' emotions are not driven in a happy manner... cancel sex. And... ummm... seriously... if you want your woman to have a REAL orgasm, you gotta indulge in foreplay! It takes a lot to get the vagina penetrating/vibrating/contracting to induce the moisture/wetness. You can hit the hotspots (G spot, clitoris *dingdingding*, nipples, and high on the neck below the ears. STAY AWAY FROM A FEMALES EARS... UNLESS she tells you to lick them or breathe in them. If you wanna hit the ears... place your mouth right above her ear next to the canal, take a deep breath right next to the ear. DO NOT BLOW IN IT! A female can become HIGHLY aroused by you taking breaths next to her ear, the sound, and the feeling of the air moving around the ear gets to her. You'd be surprised at how many women you failed to allow orgasm. They faked it cuz they were tired of it or just weren't feeling it and wanted you to get it over with.

Not me... If you suck... I'm gonna tell you to hurry up, get yours, stop trying to impress me, and kick ya ass out OR if I'm at your place, I'ma leave! Now THAT'S real!

I was gonna post about a whole lot of stuff... but it can wait. This is enough!

Men... do your job! Make your woman stay with you! Sex is a HUGE part of a relationship... like it or not!

20 August 2005


First of all... WHY THE FUCK ARE ALL MY EX'S RESURFACING RIGHT NOW? EX'S ARE EX'S FOR A DAMN REASON! And last night... the one that I loved and could have loved for life resurfaced. My first thought: "If Time damn Warner had done what they were supposed to do and turn off the fucking digital phone, this muthafucka would not have been able to contact me! FUCK!"

It's 1999 and I'm walking to my Biology class. It's 10:51 AM and I'm walking through the courtyard of campus and as I look ahead I see this tall, model material looks, chocolate, low haircut, well-dressed brotha walking my way. I think: "Who the fuck is that!? He's new!" As I get closer we make eye contact, smile at one another, and even do a doubletake to where we're looking backwards at each other. We continued to walk towards our destinations, and from that day, on Biology class day, I made sure that I walked past that spot at the same time everydamnday. We did this staring thing for a few weeks and I was asking my girls about this new dude on campus. They couldn't figure out which tall dude I was talking about, because there were three new basketball players.

Since I started attending Lander University in 1995 I was warned to stay away from the basketball team. Lander doesn't have a football team, so the basketball boys were the ish on campus. They were/and prolly still are the Michael Vicks, Kobe Bryants, Jamal Lewis's, and Allen Iversons of the campus. NOT ONE of them were ugly! BUT... until 1999 I kept my distance and NEVER talked with the basketball team. Why? Cuz all the chicks wanted 'em. And I wasn't getting caught up in that mess!

So... Mr. Basketball Player (u may remember him from a previous post) and I stared each other down 3 times a week every week until October. We didn't SEE each other for the first time until the 2nd week of September.
Zeta Phi Beta sponsored a bachelor auction and I attended (October)... cuz I attended all their events, because I planned to pledge Zeta (never happened... I'm my own damn person... I don't need a group to tell me or others who I am *no offense to reigning frats and sorors*). Well... all the regular pretty muthafuckas were in the auction and I laughed my ass off at how the females went berzerk over them. These men weren't shit but a bunch of playas. And each of them had tried to holla at me! Two of them had girlfriends and the girlfriends paid madd cash for they asses just to keep another female away from their man. The prize for the winning bidder was a date with the bachelor. So... I'm laughing and having a good time... KNOWING I wouldn't bid on anyone and.... "Holy fucking shit! That's him" were my thoughts as this tall, fine ass muthafucka walked onto the stage! I got all nervous and looked at my girl and said, "That's who the fuck I've been asking you about!" Well, she told me his name and I was just in awe. Let's just leave his name out of it... but I'll give you a clue: there used to be a black and white cartoon on nickelodeon about this kid who wore glasses. Anywho... the bidding started and before I knew it... my hand flew STRAIGHT in the damn air and bid $8. Three females bid after me, and again, my damn hand, and I'm looking at my arm like WTF get down here by my side MUTHAFUCKA, and won the bid with $20. However, Mr. basketball player didn't know I had made the last bid and looked at me, pointed, and said, "I know you got 25". I shook my head and just smiled.

After the auction I saw him walking down the stairs with a female that I hated! And this bitch was carrying a child. my immediate thought: FUCK NO! He told her to wait outside and the female and I gave each other a "eat shit and die" look. He sat down next to me, introduced himself, I introduced myself, exchanged phone numbers, and departed the auction. He called me 2 hours later and, yup, you damn skippy I questioned him about that bitch! He told me that he had met her two weeks ago after a party (damnit I knew I shoulda gone to the damn delta party) and that they were just friends, no serious ties. I was like, ok... cool... I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. He proceeded to tell me that he had just exited a serious relationship in VA, because he transferred to Lander from VCU. Man... I was happy as hell he transferred. Well... he ended up coming over to my room. While I was waiting for him, I was on the phone with all my girls... cuz Lander had three way calling... and shouting my excitement thru the phone. As I was talking about the auction, I looked to my right and here he comes on his bike riding down the hill. I was in awe all over again! I couldn't believe how BEEUUTEEFUL this man was! So... we went into my dorm room... I lived in the upper class dorms and we had our own rooms, shared the bathroom. And it all started from there.

There were occasions after we first met that I questioned his friendship with that bitch. God how I hated her!!!

Well... one afternoon, between classes, I was chilling with Mr. basketball playa in his room, and he got a phone call from his "friend". She had heard it through the grapevine that I was in the room with him and she was pissed. I wasn't his girl so I played it cool. He basically told her to fuck off and that he was a grown ass man and could have whoeva visit him and hung up on her. So, basically, she wasn't his girl yet. This bitch was bold tho! She came marching up into his room 10 minutes later and shoved past him into the bedroom where I was. Before she came in there all I heard was, "Where the fuck is she? Why the fuck is she in your bedroom if she's just visiting?" I was thinking... "GOT DAYUM IT! I don't need this shit!" And I continued to be relaxed and spread out all ova his bed, fully clothed, watching Maury. She asked me WTF I was doing there and I looked at her and said, "Chillin... visiting a friend. What you doing?" All polite and shit like nothing was wrong. LMAO She got even madder. U got NO right to be here! I said, "I got just as much right as you do. Pull up a chair!" Man, she was furious. I had already located ole boy's timbs that I was gonna use to knock this bitch out if she decided to lunge for me, cuz I ain't fucking up my hands and not a damn soul is gonna fuck up my face. Well, Mr. basketball playa came into the room, grabbed ole girl by the elbows, picked this big ass heffa up and threw her out the door and told her to calm the fuck down. You could hear her crying and wanting explanations... and all I heard was silence and an occasional... "you aren't my girl". Well... that was ONE of the highlights of the three years me and mr. basketball playa kicked it.

Let's just sum it up with: He has two baby mommas... I coulda been his third, but I took the alternate route. Both LITTLE GIRLS are a year within age of each other... the oldest being 4 and in MD. And I caught hell with THE BITCH all three years. Each time I spent time with Mr. basketball playa after the first year, I grew more tired and more tired of the drama. I eventually called it quits and when I decided to move to MD, he begged me to stay in SC, because he needed me. Obviously not... and here's why.

He continued to see THE BITCH AND she got pregnant, TWICE. Kinda like how she did her first baby's daddy. She miscarried the first one and carried the one who is here now. And, honestly... the lil girl looks NOTHING like the X... she seriously looks like THE BITCHES first baby daddy. Man, seriously... I could write a book on this three year thang... and even the last two years he's been in and out the picture.

Well.... let's get to last night... cuz ya'll are prolly tired of reading this crap.

My house phone rings and it's the X. I hesitated to answer, but said, "Fuck it!" He wanted to stop by, visit, and see what's been going on. Cool! Stop by I told him.

He was supposed to be here at 10 and, as usual, he was late. The mofo could never be on time. He showed around 11 and stayed for an hour. When I moved back to SC, I found out that he and THE BITCH bought a house together and are living together... so I knew there was never a chance for him and I to ever get our shit back together. Well... I was actually kidding when I asked him, "When ya getting married?" His response: "We haven't set a date yet." Man, my heart dropped. And I knew that I could never see him again as a friend or anything else, because he really is serious about this chick. He continued to tell me that they needed to pay some bills before getting married and would prolly do it sometime next year. I never once congratulated him. I was hurt. Not to mention I had just hung up the phone with G and was disappointed because I am not going to be able to see him this weekend, because his work is piled high. I fought back tears the rest of the hour he visited. I was hurt... why? I don't want him back... I can promise you that. Things he did to me... would never allow me to be with him again. I was hurt because I wanted him to pay for the shit he did to me and I wanted him to hurt like I did... which never happened. BUT... it is happening. He's having to deal with his EX in MD for life because of their little girl, and he hates/despises her. AND... he's not sure that THE BITCHES baby is his... and he'll have to live with THAT for the rest of his life! And the bitch... HA... she gets to live with the fact that she'll NEVER have his only baby! HA HA FUCKING HA! Cuz she and his EX used to fight all the time when the ex came to visit or he went to visit the baby in MD. So... I really got the best end of the deal! I got out when I could, am making a great life for myself, AND am preparing myself for that ONE man that will be mine when the time comes!

When he left, yeah, I cried. But it was tears of joy and over memories. They were goodbye tears. He knew something was wrong with me during his visit. He knew me very well when we were kicking it. But I wasn't letting him in last night. Hell no! He wasn't what was wrong with me, and I didn't want to tell him what was wrong with me, he no longer has the right OR does he deserve to know about ME anymore. He asked what I would be doing on Sunday and said he'd call to see what I was up to.

Man... he can call all he wants. But it's time to close the door on this chapter of my life. It's time for Mr. basketball playa to allow me to perform my disappearing act with him.

POOF! AND HE'S GONE! (hmmm... I wonder what Julius is doing! *a teammate*)

Ahhhh... Julius... AND Lloyd... wow...
If I had only known they were watching me all those years before Mr. Basketball Playa. lol

19 August 2005



So for the past two weeks I have been making plans to go to Baltimore, MD to visit my ex who is "dying". I place this in quotations, because I'm not sure of the sincerity of his claim. Since I moved back to SC from MD back in OCT of 2004, he's been missing the hell out of me, although he did my ass wrong. Dude was married the entire time we dated off and on and failed to tell me this info until January of this year. He even lied about his son... claiming his son was his nephew. So... I made it perfectly clear that he and I would never be together again, whether he was in the midst of a divorce or not. He has filed for divorce, but that's his words. And, well, I'm sorry, but once you lie to me and challenge my trust for you, you usually do not gain my trust again. Yeah, I forgave him, because that's what I do. I forgive people who hurt me. And, eventually, I become their friend, which is what I have done with my ex. To all who know about my deals in MD/DC... I'm talking about the DJ. Well, in June, I learn that his medical condition has worsened. He tells me... via the internet... that the doctor has forbade him to leave the city, because of the fear that he may need immediate medical attention. Now, I'm no dummy, but, umm... can't you receive medical treatment anywhere in the United States? LOL Ok... basically, he's telling me that he does not have long to live, but he can't give me a timeline. Aight... cool...
Mr. DJ has some type of blood disorder (something fibrosis). Well, we talk off and on during the summer and I had planned to go to Vegas this weekend, but after meeting G, I didn't feel it was right to go running off to Vegas with my ex/bestfriend, because I didn't want G to start thinking wrong things (you know how u men get). So, I cancelled/postponed my annual trip to Vegas to visit G this weekend AND to visit my "dying ex". Since G and the X live an hour and some change apart, my X volunteered to pay for a hotel room, because I could not afford the gas AND a room. I could have stayed with my girl Erica, but I didn't feel like dealing with her man and the two dogs. Well... when I discussed the money issue with X he volunteered to pay for gas too. I was like... ummm... that'd be nice and all... but ummm... u aren't the only reason I'm coming up there. You're the secondary reason, because I'd like to see you before you die, but ummm... G is my reason for coming to visit. No, I did not tell him that, but I did decline the gas offer. Well... time went by and August hit and X became more and more excited about me coming to visit. All types of things started flickering in my brain: y is he so excited about me visiting? THEN... a week before my scheduled trip, X starts requesting pictures to "get him by before I arrive". REDLIGHT! Uh... dude... u are sooooooo not getting any booty!

1. You're still married
2. You took abused the opportunity to take advantage of my time when I did live up there (u saw me when it was convenient for you)
3. You lied to me

X: "That's ok. As long as I get to hold you."

Me: "I don't know about alla that."

So... we continued to have "platonic friendship conversations" and I became more and more uneasy about this trip to visit my "dying friend".

Monday... we're online before I leave for work and he states, "I'm wiring you money at lunch."

Me: "For what?"
X: "gas"
Me: "You don't have to, because ur paying for the room"
X: "I'm sending you money"

I left for work and never heard from him again until Thursday after 10AM... when I'm usually at work.

Me: "Where ya been?"
X: "Don't start with me. I don't need this shit."
Me: "I just asked where ya been. I've called you all week hoping that you've been ok."
X: "Didn't I say don't start?"
Me: "Dude. It's cool. If you don't have the money it's cool, because I can't afford the gas to come up this weekend anyway."
X: "I do have the money. I've just been in the hospital. I got out yesterday."

Yet... he's back at work immediately. *scratchin chin* HMMMMMM

Seriously, I'm not driving because I don't have the money for gas.

And now I'm really glad I'm not going, because my instinct tells me homeboy ain't dying and he was trying to find a way to get my ass up there to see him. See... when we were together and he would disappear for two weeks AFTER he was supposed to spend some QT with me and didn't show... he would always claim he was in the hospital. Yet... numerous times I requested him to have someone to call me when he was hospitalized so that I could be there for him. You would have thought it would click! BUT... old habits are hard to kick. And... lying might be his thing. He's not divorced... he's got a kid... and I'm not up for games.

The end of our conversation was...
X: "Glad to see that everything happens for a reason and that YOU are only focused on yourself."
Me: "what? I've been worried and thinking about you all week! did you check your voicemail?"
X: "Have a good weekend and a nice life!"
Me: "Wateva!"

And he logged off!

Yes, I will feel really bad if X is dying. But how the hell will I know until he dies? How do I know he's not making things up in order to get me up there so he can see me? For me... if he was so ill... and needed constant supervision like he claims... he would not be working a fulltime gig AND dj'ing at night AND worrying about paying the bills! I don't know. I just don't know. I do know that I'm angry for allowing myself to even worry about this dude when he clearly doesn't care about communicating his well being with people who do care about him.

What I do know is that I reflected on this situation last night and decided that it's time to weed out my garden ONCE again! I went thru my cell phone and erased all numbers to men who ain't shit but some damn users.

Men... when will you learn that if you're straight up about ya shit... women will respect you more? And damn... give us the chance to at least have a choice in whether or not we want to be involved in the life you currently have built for yourself!

unrelated topic
just wanna share with everyone that the internet is NEVER secure! LOL Even those blog sites that swear no one can visit ya blog without your permission... they are liars! You can search the net and find whateva you want to find! LOL Now.... the places that you visit that place the lil padlock in ya task bar... yeah, those are secure. so... yes... to you bloggers whose blogs I enjoy reading and did NOT inform me of where ya new site is located... I found your asses... nope... I'm not gonna comment, but I did find your asses so that I could continue to get my read/education on!!! heehee
Does that make me a cyberstalker?

18 August 2005


So, I'm off work today thru Monday to return to work on Tuesday.

My plan was to go to MD/DC to visit old friends, new friends, make new friends, and to, of course, visit G. Well, G is going to be closer, hopefully, on Saturday, so I'm not driving 8 hours to MD/DC. AND.. it's a good thing, because my ass can't afford the gas. It would cost me a total of $120 to travel to MD/DC and back to SC. WTF? So... ummm... NO. I am NOT making that trip! I got billz to pay AND I gotta be able to eat until I get paid again... so... I will be remaining home, and if G makes it to NC, then I'll drive to go see him on Saturday. I gotta blog about another MAIN reason for going to MD (a friend of mine claims to be dying), so stay tuned for that one.

Sorry, L.S. Next trip! Sorry, Kim (that's my girl up in Herndon! *waving ferociously* heeeey girl!!! I love you!!!! See you soon!!! smoochez!!! Tell Winta I said hey!). And all you otha mofos... come see my ass for a change! Sheeit. I travel all the damn time... show me that you love ME too damnit! heehee


Since I'm not traveling a great distance this weekend, I took my mom out for lunch. She's in town helping with my older sis's family (older sis is still going thru major chemo/radiation... visit her site for an update... it's to the right of your screen!). We're on our way to Lizard's Thicket (a great down home southern cooking restaurant AND cheap) when she tells me that she has had to start taking a cholesterol pill. My thoughts: "That's phukkin great mom! I'm built just like you, cholesterol is genetically related, and now I'ma have to watch what I eat too!" Man... I love my mom, don't get me wrong, but I really did NOT want to deal with the whole cholesterol thing in life. Now, I gotta. I guess it's better to start when you're younger than when you're older and set in your ways! No more fastfood, fried foods, potato chips, and other things that I enjoy eating... well, not on the regular anyways. AND... well... now she's really got me pressed for going to the doctor so I can get all my shit checked out. Man... I guess it won't be so bad. But I really enjoy fried catfish and fried chicken, lays kettle cooked potato chips, and I enjoy eating at a fastfood restaurant once a month! And damnit... I really love Pizza Hut's pan pizza! man oh man... Here's to a healthier lifestyle! Cheers... BRING ON THE RED WINE!!!!! lmao

Mom and I had a wonderful lunch. It's not too often we get to sit down and visit one on one. I paid for the lunch, and my mom continued to insist that she pay for lunch. I told her that if I was traveling to MD this weekend, she could pay, but I'm not going anywhere, so I could afford a $20 lunch for the two of us. So... she proceeds to say, "Okay, well, at least lemme give you $20." LOL Yeah, mom... then u might as well have paid for lunch. She carried the tip though... I told her not to, but she insisted. We went back to my sister's house and visited a bit longer and played with the dog, because he doesn't get too much attention anymore. I think that golden retriever wore my ass out! But it was so much fun!!! When my older sister returned home from her ALL DAY cancer treatments, she was BEAT, then my niece arrived home from school, private school (another blog topic for me), and I felt like I was a distraction for my niece getting dressed for dance practice, so I dismissed myself. My niece didn't look too happy about me leaving, so I reassured her I would call her later in the weekend.

Now I'm home, and after taking a nap, I feel groggy... so... I'ma go sit on the couch, fix me some tea, and find a sappy movie on demand. I feel the need to cry and can't seem to get it out on my own... so... I'll find a tearjerker to watch!

Stay tuned... I got a whole lot to unleash over the next few days!

15 August 2005


Man... ya'll really don't know how I feel right now. My day was long as hell and I have my weekend to blog about, but I'm not up for it. BUT... I'll condense my weekend
Saturday: kicked it with a new friend
Sunday: It was Soul Food Sunday... I went to my older sis's house and we all prepared dinner together. I took over a green bean casserole, my nephew helped me peel potatoes, my nephew and I drove in a windy ass thunderstorm to pick up my niece, my broinlaw fried cubed steak, mashed some taterz, made the brown gravy, stirred up some black eyed peas, baked some biscuits, and made some slammin' sweet iced tea! For dessert.... mmmm... my momma brought us some nanna puddin~! We had a good time visiting and cooking together! I look forward to more Sundays like that!!!! My momma also brought fresh tomatoes... so I stole a few... ok... I was given three to bring home with me. She was gonna give me some fried chicken that she brought with her, but I forgot about it. Hell, I fried chicken, made rice and gravy, and cream corn on Saturday. I really didn't need anymore fried chicken.

Today... was long as hell and I'ma list the top 10 things that bugged the shit outta me today!
And it's in random order!

1. drivers whose mouths I could see 200 feet ahead of me cuz of all that gold in they mouth! EEEWWW... don't ya'll know how nasty your gums are gonna get and how your breaf is gonna STANK!?
2. drivers who swerved thru traffic at high speeds in a 40mph zone so they could get to their destination 5 minutes before everybody else
TIE for 3. fat ass people (weighing over 200lbs) trying to turn left across the highway with they bumper in my damn lane so they could get to church's chicken to get fatter~! AND people who are trying to turn ONTO the highway out of a parking lot and don't realize the front end of they car is about to get taken the fugg off cuz they asses can't perceive that their damn front end is in the damn highway! You muthafushutyomouth fools should NOT be driving! A perception test should become part of the driving exam!!!
4. That fuckin county cop who rode my ass for 2 miles.
5. My damn client who had to say everything that was on his damn mind~! STFU (Shut the Fugga UP)
6. This fat ass chick who swore she was so cute, she had to wear that little ass tank top to show her damn stomach rolls
7. Muthafushutyomouth men hawkin' my ass! Leave me the fuggalone! I'm tired of gettin' holla'd at everydamnwhere I go! (But if you didn't holla... I'd think I'd lost my mojo... so thanks)
8. Rednecks who drive big ass OJ broncos that need a fuggin' paint job!
9. Cars that don't signal when they wanna get in front of you and they cut you off! Sheeit... If I hit yo' ass cuz you wanted to try to sneak in front of me and clip my front end... I'ma swear it ain't my fault! I'ma start carrying a video camera around in my damn truck!
10. Cars with no fuggin brake lights! Get them shits fixed so I don't have to slam on brakes you muthfushutyomouth fools!!!!

13 August 2005



I lied.

I didn't post later on yesterday... so sue me. LOL Remember when everybody used to say that back in the day? "Oh, you don't like the fact that I said 'yo mama'? So sue me!"



Hold up.

they still say that shit.

For real tho. But they actually might sue you. They'll ponder the idea, then whambam... your behind is in court! You're in court hoping and praying that you'll be able to give them what they want! LOL Man... peoples is greedy nowadays!

I wish someone would sue me.

I ain't got shit to give 'em.


I woke up.

At 2AM to this loud ass noise. I'm guessing it was outside my apartment. Either that or something is in my damn closet, and I.ain' All I know is I heard a loud disturbing noise that sounded like hangars being fooled with, and it sounded like an animal that may have been falling off my screen on my porch, down the vinyl siding, or off the air conditioning thing (such a female word) outside. I.don' but it My heart started pounding and I was froze in fear. I felt like such a punk. Hell... the only weapon I have was in my kitchen. I say "was" cuz I'm now holding the 2 foot long serrated knife. I've been told I need to get a dog. I can't afford the vet bills. AND I don't have the time to give to a dog. I've been told I need to get a gun. Hell... my scurry ass would probably shoot my younger sister if she decided to show up unannounced. And with my dumb luck... the bullet would prolly go through my ceiling or a wall and hit my neighbor. Then I'd be locked the fugg up for assault and intent to kill. WTF? LOL So, no gun for me. How about you men just start acting right so that I can become seriously involved with one of you, and my man can tend to "the things that go bump in the night". GOT.DAYUM.IT! My phone just rang and it scared the buhjeezuhs outta me!!! LOL Ok. I'm a punk. Ashton Kutcher could

It's all good tho! Let ya'll stay in the back of an apartment complex, on the bottom floor, alone, pitch black dark, a river over the fence, and a whole lotta nature with a whole lotta scurry sounds! Ur asses would be scurry too! U'd be sittin' right next to me wondering WTF was happening outside or in my closet too! It's all good tho! I got one of my boys on they way over to take care of bidness!

12 August 2005

short, sweet

just something short and sweet to tell all of you hello and that I'll be on this evening to complete my blog for today!!!!

Hope everyone's week has gone well!!!

09 August 2005


Weekend Update
I did NOTHING! Friday: Chilled with younger sis Saturday: started to lay out with my sis by her pool, it rained... came back to my place, did NOTHING Sunday: did NOTHING... sun came out around 3:30 and I ran to my bedroom, put on my swimsuit, and hit the pool for 3 hours.

typical monday... NOTHING happened! Well, I drove to Charlotte after work, because a friend of mine needed to go up there to pick up some DJ equipment. Man... we came up with a new concoction for ChikFilA's fries. I love them with Mayo mixed with Ketchup... and we thought that's what we were doing... but what we thought was Ketchup was BBQ sauce and it was the bomb! So, I'm driving and slamming back waffle fries caked in mayo and BBQ sauce. I was in HEAVEN!!!! Yeah, it rained on us the whole way there and back home, but we really had a good time! I learned that I GOTTA get YingYang Twins CD. That shit is some freaky fiyah!!! And I learned that I really have a thing for pretty ass lite skinned black men: Sean Paul of Youngbloods, Luda, Dude from Goodie Mobb that looks like a monkey, Common, T.I., BowWow and his young ass, and a whole lot more. We discussed these people, because he's trying to get his life as a promoter started and he was trying to figure out who to bring to town with Pastor Troy and Youngbloods for a crunk concert. If you have any suggestions... lemme know. T.I. is out of the picture cuz he wants too much money just to show the fuck up... so does Luda.

I saw him last night... but I'm more cautious than ever. I didn't see him over the weekend... talked to him Friday night... but... that was it. I mean, usually, when two full-time working people are off on the weekend, and are feeling each other, they go out or at least spend time together, right?

Honestly... I really don't feel like blogging... BUT I'm gonna!

We had our monthly staff meeting today where my boss showed proved to me and my coworker that he is not hip to our world. Ok... he kinda knows... but he really has NO idea. He's 32 and questions words that I use when I talk and he comes to me when he needs to understand what a word means. He approached me one day to ask me what Gwen Stefani meant by "Holla Back Girl"... I was like... "are you serious?" So... I told him what it meant, and just seriously couldn't believe that he didn't understand by listening to the song what was meant by the term. If you, yeah, you, the reader, don't know... I guess you can ask. I'll try not to laugh at you! So... we're talking about the upcoming talent show being held for our clients, and my boss says, "Last year Joe Blow (can't give you the client's name) broke danced." Me and my immediate coworkers look at each other and laugh our asses off. He immediately looks at me and I'm shaking my head in disapproval. He gets embarrased and corrects himself and says, "Breakdanced." (LMAO... he said brokedanced... isn't that when someone tries to do the cabbage patch, but has not rhythm and ain't moving they arms correctly? So the dance is broke?) Man... later... in our weekly meeting, he tries to save himself. He says, "I was trying to figure out how to use the term in past tense." I said, "Yeah, it was obvious. Maybe someone who can't dance has broke danced, but someone who breakdances... you would use breakdanced." He said, "Well, I didn't know." We laughed it off and moved on to other topics related to the meeting.

So... we're discussing one of our clients who is incontinent (pees in her pants) that uses papertowels as a liner in her panties, because she can't afford Depends. The director of our program says, before we discuss this client, I'm going to the store later to buy some adult diapers. Me and my coworkers, "HUNH?! Do you have a problem you need to discuss?" He starts laughing and informs us that he is buying them for one of the clients. Then he proceeds to say, "You can imagine the looks I get when I'm walking through the store with four packs of adult diapers. When I get to the counter I tell them to hurry cuz I gotta go and I start holding my butt and dancing." Man... imagine a 5'9", caucasian male with salt and pepper colored hair, a pot belly, and blue eyes saying something like that... with a stocky build. We was roooollllliiiing!!!! I think 50% of our weekly meetings are spent goofing off and talking shit to each other!

THEN... during the same meeting, our director's boss starts talking about duct tape! In the south, duct tape fixes EVERYDAMNTHING: car doors, windows, furniture, leaks, etc. Today, I found out that duct tape can fix a rip in your pants! So... he tells us about an employee at one of the mental health clubhouses who was sitting in on psychiatric appointments. He said that she got up one time and felt a breeze and that the back seam of her pants had ripped all the way down. He told us that she left the room, grabbed duct tape, went to the bathroom, and duct taped the inside of her pants so that she could make it to lunch before purchasing a new pair of pants to wear the rest of the day! That damn duct tape!!! It works miracles I tell you! Come to find out... she carried her pants with her the rest of the day, and turned them inside out, and was showing them to everyone talking about how she had fixed her pants with duct tape! I don't think I woulda bragged on it... but... sure... if you're bored... go head!

Yeah... sooo... two meetings... I had a long day! But most of it was funfilled, but now I'm tired. I'ma go fry some chicken, make some mac and cheese, throw some biscuits in the oven... and call it a night! MMMM... nothing like some healthy food!!! heehee

04 August 2005


Have any of you watched this new show on MTV? It reminds me of... damnit... the name of the show just left my damn brain! Talent was featured with Flex too... ummm... they used to do... SNAPS! Anywho.. the show has Nick Cannon, Orlando whoeva, and other peeps too on the regular. The people dance, snaps, and other ish... it's a great show... very entertaining... then again... I could just be a loser.

Touches me every time he walks out the door. Not sexually, I'd kick his ass. But brushes his fingers on my arms... touches my hair... and damnit... I don't really mind. Cuz he's finer than a mofo! Tell ya the truth... if we had our own offices... we'd prolly be locked in one of our offices together everyday for a lil while. We flirt too much for us to NOT know that we're attracted to one another. When I wear a cleavage revealing shirt... he's all up in 'em (my twins that is)... and he even stays late after work when I wear these shirts. He's told me that when he stays late, it's cuz he's hoping to get some alone time together after work. I'm like... just come to my damn house! NOT GONNA HAPPEN... he's got live in pussy. What's phukked up is that he shares with me when his live in ain't puttin' out. Ladies... haven't you learned anything from Destiny's Child's "Cater 2 u"? And I quote, "Tap me on my shoulder, I'll roll over... I'm here to serve you.... " WTF is wrong with women? Take care of ya damn man!!! Or I will!

He called around 10:30 to tell me he was going to the office to handle some paperwork and would call when he left the office so I could meet him at his house. Damnit ya'll! I fell asleep and missed his damn call! So, I woke up at 3ish and text'd him... apologizing for not answering the phone cuz I was sleep and told him I'd appreciate a raincheck for tonight. Access granted! heehee He's already called... a few minutes after I walked in the door from work, and we're planning to get together tonight. Stay tuned!

03 August 2005

whack ass post

I watched the BET Awards, again! LMAO... Why? Well, I got ready to turn the station when The Fugees walked on stage... and I couldn't turn the station on their performance. I love The Fugees... OOH LA LA LA. So... I decided to watch it thru, because I missed Missy's performance (great lip sync'n) and... well.. damnit... I had to watch Destiny's Child give those lapdances again! heehee And watch Beyonce's ass bounce! Got dayum... that heffa could get it!

what? what? uhooohhh! notice the font!! WHAT?!!! He has made it a third day... and in a row!
I received a telephone call while watching the awards. It was Fred (big grin). He had arrived in town and invited me to come see him at his crib. Heck.. I was bored, so I took my ass ova there. We watched HUSTLE AND FLOW (sloooooooooooow). The entyre movie was slow, then after mr. pimpin for a microphone got locked up, the damn movie moved faster and BAM tha shit was ova. I looked at Fred, he looked at me... and we both said, "Did I miss something?" As soon as "Whoop That Trick" was sung, the credits started rolling. WTF? Man... it was on bootleg, and later in the night... Fred and I realized we missed a few scenes that we had viewed in the previews. We didn't really give a fugg, cuz the movie sucked ass anyways. So... we're watching the boob tube and I notice he is just staring at me. So, I asked him, "WTF are you staring at?" (giggle) He said, "Girl, you are just too damn sexy and beautiful!" I grinned and blushed and thanked him for the compliment. I woke up this morning all curled up in his arms, and he said, "Get outta here! You stay sexy all night? How u just wake up looking all beautiful and sexy?" Thanks Mom and Dad for the great genes!!! heehee When I woke up, I was fully clothed (take a hint bloggers). We walked out his house, yes, a HOUSE, together to depart for work (well, I was going to my apt to get dressed for work). Will I see him Wed. night? Who knows? He called tonight (today bitches, check the date of the blog) on his way home from class and told me he'd call back in a little while to invite me over, because he wanted to know if I was in for the night and I told him, "Unless someone calls and invites me to do something or go somewhere, I'm in." Stay tuned.... heehee

G *hey boo! I miss u!!! (waving and throwing kisses)* called last night close to 1AM... I was sleep... and he left a message. He was at this live reggae club in DC, and he knows how much I LOVE live reggae, well, reggae period, but I especially love live reggae bands. He called to leave a message with the reggae band playing and informed me that he just could not be in the club and NOT share it with me. Man... ain't NO one betta than G!!! And I swear, if he asked me to be his girl... man... all these other knuckleheads would be forgotten. Howeva, I'm still single and am keeping my options open until G informs me of what it is he's interested in pursuing with me. G and I planned to meet up this weekend in NC for a biker's roundup, BUT... I'm not sure if it's going to happen, because I haven't heard word about the weekend. If not... I'll be in MD the 18-21. Gots to visits with my peoples!!! G's and my phone calls have lessened since our first encounter at bikeweek. No love lost and I ain't mad, cuz I know he's a busy man... Nope.. not making excuses for him, because I do know that if he's REALLY THAT INTO ME, he'll make time for me... like he used to.... I remember before meeting up with him in Raleigh... we didn't talk everyday for two weeks. I think we talked twice within the two weeks before we got together in Raleigh. He reminds me when we do talk that his business is the reason he does not have a girlfriend. Sheeit... lemme be ya girlfriend... cuz I completely understand! heehee

So... this blog sucks! Sorry... work was boring as fugg today!

OH OH OH!!!! Don't close this window yet!!!!
I came back from lunch today... NO, I did NOT have to pee! BUT... guess who was exiting the bathroom as I entered the office?!!?! YUP! You guessed it... B!!! HEEHEE NO, luke cage, she did NOT wash her hands, again!!! NASTEE ASS HEFFA! And NO... I did NOT go in the bathroom behind her nastee ass! I learned my lesson on Monday!!!!! I love my hand sanitizer. It goes everywhere with me! I use it after grocery shopping (u can catch herpes from the grocery carts), after pumping gas (herpes), after touching doorknobs... heehee... I ain't worried about hepatitis, cuz I got my vaccination! But, seriously, everyone should invest in hand sanitizer! It's the best thing since chapstick! This stuff should NOT, I repeat, SHOULD NOT, replace hand washing though! You should still wash your hands with lukewarm water and soap for the length of time it takes you to sing happy birthday if you are able to wash your hands. You should also use lotion after you wash your hands in order to keep ya skin protected! heehee... Now boys and girls... that lesson is over... let's move on to something else! heehee

This post is over bitches.... and I'm still not rich! heehee

02 August 2005


BAD START TO THA DAY (Ladies - and men who are mechanically retarded-... ya gotta read it... more on auto mechanics!!!)
I sit in my vehicle, place the key in the ignition, and "clikclikclik"... NOTHING. I'm thinking, "FUCK! What now?" I try it again... NOTHING but the "clikclikclik". I pop the hood to check my battery for corrosion... and YUP... got it! I knock off the most of it, cuz I don't have a monkey wrench to twist the cable off the battery. At this point... I'm sweating like a damn hooka in church. I sit down, take a deep breath, put the key in the ignition, and "clikclikclik"... well, at least the cliks are faster. I call home, DADDY that is... and get no answer. I call MR. FIXIT with a RECORD like he can do anything for me from the shop. THEN... I call my bro-in-law who lives across town. He decided to call his mechanic to see if they could send someone over, and of course, they can't. His mechanic told him that the green light indicator on the battery means nothing. WHAT?! Then WTF is it there for? If the battery is just the slightest bit low, the green light will remain on AND ya car will NOT start. Well... it's something with the power, because when I locked my car with the keyless remote, the horn sounded all retarded. Instead of a loud, clear honk... I got something that sounded like a muffled goose. He informed me that he has to be on this side of town in an hour to pick up his kids from the museum at 12 so he'd swing by to see if he could help. GOT DAYUM IT! I called my younger sis, too, just to see if she had problems today. Remember she had issues with her car starting the day after mine last week!? She had NO problems. So, I called in to work to tell them that I couldn't get my car started and that the minute I got it started, I'd be in to work. Hell, I'm only going in for 3 hours today anyway. I'm taking the afternoon off so I can go to the doctor... well... if I can go to the doctor. I was all worried about getting my ass to work, AND I was gonna be on time today (which is a rare thing), and forgot about needing to get to my doctor appointment. I can reschedule, but I like to keep it close to 3 months, because that's how often I'm supposed to be seen, and if the cancer has resurfaced, who knows how fast that killa muhfukka would grow. Ok... so I'm anxious now... and I'm panicking, just a lil bit (G-G-G-G-GEE UNIT!!!). Ok... so... MR. FIXIT calls me back and he's sending a mobile mechanic out to me to try to fix my car. I say TRY, because I don't know WTF is wrong with it! So... I'm a sitting duck. And it's been almost a complete WEEK since my car did this to me. If I could beat the Muhfukka into submission, I'd do it... I swear I would! LMAO Push come to shove... I take 3 hours of annual leave (thanks to my truck) and 4.5 hours of sick leave (for the doctor appt). What a wonderful Tuesday! At least I'm already working towards getting this GMC (a higher class of FORD=Driver Returns On Foot is FORD spelled backwards) repaired. Please God, let it be the battery, puuuuhhhhhllleeeaaasssseee!!!! Oh... did I mention that Mr. Fixit has volunteered to pay for the mobile mechanic AND the battery... if I need a battery? If ya volunteer, I am NOT declining... cuz I'm poor! heehee Sooooo.... I get a phone call and it's Mr. Fixit... He's coming instead of the mechanic, because the mechanic is taking too long. Mr. Fixit arrives around 11:15 with his tool kit and some other things. We head to the truck and pop the hood. He starts taking off the battery cables and, after burning himself with the battery acid, we noticed the cable disconnect from the "thingy" (females term for something we don't know the name of) that holds the cable in place and connects it to the battery. AND the cable/wire was CAKED in corrosion. I had brought the soda I was drinking outside with me, and good thing... cuz we needed to use the soda on the corrosion. It didn't help much, so he pulled out his pocket knife (damn that thing was pretty... I want one!) and scraped away at the corrosion. He brought with him new "thingies" to place back on the cable/wires and battery JUST IN CASE the old thingies had corroded away. He's so smart! lol So... we get alla that fixed and he's placing the cables back onto the battery and you can hear it poppin... so we knew we had juice! After he moves everything away from the battery and backs away, I turn the key... YYYEEEAAA!!!! We have a cranked vehicle!!! Amazing.... how something so small can cause something so major, hunh? I'm glad I called him... Like he told me... if you need anything, call me! If I hadn't called him, my bro-in-law woulda had me towed to a mechanic, probably, and I would have spent a bookoo on having corrosion removed and a simple part replaced. Not to mention, the mechanic would have probably tried to get me to allow them to replace the whole damn wire... FUKKERS! Advanced Auto Parts is the shit man!!! And so is Mr. Fixit! I fixed him lunch and transported him back to his job, because he fixed my car for free AND didn't have transpo back to the job. He rode out with another mechanic. As we're pulling up to the store, he told me that he had purchased a battery for me since we thought I might need one... WTF? I didn't even ASK him to do that! While he was eating, he told me that he might be moving an hour away, because his manager is taking over a store in another city and he wants to take Mr. Fixit with him, because he can rely on and trust Mr. Fixit AND would like Mr. Fixit to become his assistant manager at the out of town store.... hmmmm... I told him, "Ya gotta go where the money is!" Which is something I would do in a heartbeat. More money... out of town... see ya! God has sent Mr. Fixit into my world for a reason... I'm interested in learning why.

I don't know where he is... but Mr. Blackplanet, FOINE as his picture is, has not made an appearance in two days. Hmmm.... this may start affecting my mood! Mr. Blackplanet, Do you think you could make an appearance sometime today or tomorrow? I'd really appreciate it!

After I leave the FUNKDAFIED (AND NOT LIKE DA BRAT'S FUNKDAFIED) bathroom, I walk down to the main office to pick up two of my client's checks. The lady I had to retrieve these checks from was wearing sandles. I looked down while I was waiting on the checks, and decided that I wished I hadn't. Her feet were in my view, with her heels facing me. Man... her heels were dry and cracked like wet flour on raw chicken waiting to be thrown in the grease. Ladies... there's a remedy for that AND a prevention to crackin' feet! It's called ADVANCED HEALING LOTION and it's made by VASELINE, and all you have to do is squirt a small amount into your hand and massage it into your feet daily. This includes all areas of your feet: toes, in between ya toes, sides of ya feet, bottoms of ya feet, tops of ya feet, and ankles. Hell, you can do it twice a day if you wanna! But the way this woman's heels were looking... it made me question how my feet were looking since I was wearing open toe and heel shoes. Mine were straight and I grinned. As I was lotioning my feet this morning I wondered how I could get my coworker to work on her feet without hurting her feelings. I think I'll just purchase a small bottle for her and enclose a note with it that says, "Apply to feet twice daily to reduce cracked and dry heels and other areas on your feet. Please apply when wearing sandals." Hell no... I ain't gonna sign it... WTF? AND I'ma type the note! Don't want it traced back to me!!! heehee

It went well. He didn't feel the need for a full papsmear, because the last one came back normal (yeehaawww!). So, he just felt around for lumps/tumors/weird shit that shouldn't be around my pelvic region. As he pulled out... his hands... lol... u nastee mofos... he told me to keep up the good work. That means that I'm still clear! November will be two years since my surgery to remove the cancer AND if all is clear, I move to seeing the doc every 6 months instead of every 3 months... AND... I have to have a CT Scan done in November. YUCK!!! Before I left Baltimore, I had graduated to being able to drink a gallon of water before my CT Scan, because they had upgraded their machine. NOW... I'm back down in the south, the slow ass state of SC who doesn't upgrade their technology till the next millenium, so I gotta drink the nasty ass Barium crap they gave me. I can fathom it... it's not too bad... but damn... I'd rather drink a gallon of water! Anywho... the good news is... I'm still cancer free!!!! Yipppeeee!!!! And Mr. Bowtie wearing Doctor stated before he walked out the room, "God is smiling down on you." I thought... ain't that the damn truth!!! Thank you God for keeping that nasty disease out of my body!

Since I'm already off work, I retreated to the pool when I arrived home from my appointment. Man, it was sooooooooooooo nice!!! Until 30mins before my 2 hours was over and these white ass "Becky" talking girls entered the pool area... they were obviously discussing their jobs... which is basically in my field of work: working with crazy ass people... heehee. Becky was talking to Suzie: "Like I can't believe that woman like totally shot her husband because like he wanted to play golf." I'm thinking, "PHUCK! There goes my enjoyment! Like, I totally can't stand like white girls who totally talk like they are like from the valley, like totally." UUUGGGHHHH! But, I have to give it up to Suzie... she had a fukkin hilarious ass story. Yeah, I was eavesdropping... They wanted to talk loud enuf for everybody in my complex and the one next door to hear them, so I was all ears! So... Suzie shared her story: "We have this teenager on our ward who curses like everybody out. He's so funny (giggle giggle). He doesn't mean to curse everyone out, but like, he can't like, he can't help it. (giggle fuckin giggle) So, like, his grandma came to visit one day, and his grandma told him to like stop cursing at everybody. We heard him say, "Bitch." But, like, he mumbled bitch like under his breath. So, like, his grandma, like, gets ready to leave, and like she like tells him to be good, take his meds, and stop cursing. As soon as she walked out and said, bye, he said bye... and as she closed the door he said, "Bitch." Becky and Suzie start crackin up and both said at the same time, "LIke that is soooooooooooooo funny!" Ok... that shit was funny as hell! But as soon as that "sooooooo" exited their mouths, I dipped in the pool one more time to cool off, then got out to grab my shit to go back to my apartment. The way they talk was, like, totally getting on my nerves... like soooooooooo much! LMAO Ok, ya'll prolly gonna think I'm crazy, BUT... as I was grabbing my towel, book, phone, keys, and water, I noticed something out the corner of my left eye moving. I looked and damnit... there was a raccoon exiting the pool area via the gate. I did a triple take cuz I wasn't sure. At first I thought it was a cat, then I looked again, and the body was NOT shaped like a cat... but I didn't see any black markings on the raccoon looking thing either. I started to ask Becky and Suzie if they saw it, but since they work in the state mental hospital, I said, fuck that. I'll just share it with my bloggers. I mean, seriously... it looked like a raccoon and it's tail was hella skinny... like it was sick... no fur. I dunno... Maybe it was a large ass cat with scoliosis. But that thing walked thru the pool area like it was just another resident and he had the permission of the complex manager to use the pool wheneva he damn well pleased. Long as his ass don't attack me, I'm cool.

notice the font color!
Mr side of the road hit me up and told me that he would call me when he got back in town today, and that he'd like to see me. If he gets in at a decent hour, I might go see him! Go meet him somewhere! heehee Yea for Fred! He made it to my blog another day!!! heehee

Ok... this is totally out there... but damnit... I gotta blog about it 'cuz it was great! The best feeling in the shower is when you're washing all the soap suds off you and you bend over, spread ya ass cheeks, and feel the warm water run down the crack of ya ass and, for the ladies, over your pussy. OMG!!! I love that feeling! Men... I'm sure it feels great running over ya balls too! It's not an orgasmic feeling... but damn... it's soooo relaxing!

01 August 2005


I returned from lunch and had to pee like a racehorse! I come into the office... 12 of us share this office, but not all of us are in the office at one time. Most at a time in this office is 9-10... we're hoping to upgrade within the next year. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO... I walk into the office and try to make a BLINE for the bathroom and someone is in it. I figured it was B... seriously, that's her initial... cuz I watched her walk in as I was parking. Yup... it was her. As I heard the toilet flush... I had to maintain my cool, cuz I didn't wanna rush in just in case she had dropped a load. After she entered her office, I waited a sec, then walked calmly to the bathroom and spoke to her. MAAAAAAN... I didn't wait long enuf! Howeva, chick did NOT drop a load, it was her sweaty snatch area that had funked up the bathroom. Ladies... haven't we learned how to use babypowder in the crevice where our thighs connect to our love jones? Seriously... on these hot ass summer days... ladies... come a lil more correct. I'm in the bathroom about to pass the fuck out cuz this chick left that funky, sweaty coochie, marinated snatch smell in the bathroom and I'm holding my breath from trying NOT to breathe this poison into my lungs! After I washed my hands... which she did not... eeewwwwwwww..... I left the bathroom and couldn't even speak to B. I just grabbed my shit and left to go visit my clients. And she didn't wash her hands! YUCK! How do I know? Our office is so small, you can hear the water run in the bathroom. AND I heard this chick go to open the door first... then she waited a split second, then exited the bathroom! I will NEVER approach her the same again! Smelly ass STINKY LADY!!! EEWWW... How come she doesn't know about babypowder?

I'm 5 minutes into my ride home and I noticed this van behind me with two fine liteskinned brothas in the van! Man... I was just happy to have some eye candy behind me on the ride home. As we came off a two lane part of the highway I take home, they jumped in the left lane and I remained in the right, because I had to turn off within a matter of minutes to go towards my apartment. Obviously, they had been checking me out too. And I guess it didn't help that I had Tony Yayo's "So Seductive" playing at an earpiercing decibal. heehee... but damn... that's my jam! Ya'll (yup... I used the word Mr. Tate), the passenger had it out for me. He was hollerin' back and forth and I couldn't hear a damn thing. As they passed me, I noticed the van read, "Husband for a Day.... 24 hour maintenance". Sheeit... they could be my husband for several damn days as FOINE as they were looking. Sooo... I met Fred. Pay attention to the font (thanks ManNMotion), cuz that's how he'll be addressed from here on out. Man... he was FOINE! Tall, caramel complexion, bald headed... and followed my ass till I turned off for my apartment. I pulled over, cuz I wasn't taken 'em all the way to my complex. I watched him as he approached my vehicle. As he leaned down to my window... he grinned and said hello...
I thought, "WTF is wrong with this dude's teeth? Those bamas look like he got all kinda fungus growing up in there!" The more we talked, the more I was eyeing his mouth. Turns out... his teeth were just a lil crooked and what looked like fungus was some damn shadows... *shrew! wiping forehead*. That's all I would have needed was for him to be that got dayum fine (Chico DeBarge fine) and have some Jacked up teeth! We exchanged numbers and he instructed me to call him tomorrow, because he was on his way to Charlotte. Cool. He's 31 and I'm not agreeing to a date until I find out about his legal history. He reassured me that he's single, no wife, no girlfriend, no nothing... hmmm... ok? And I told him that I have NO time for drama. Cuz, seriously... I don't need it, I don't bring it, and I won't deal with it. What can I say? I attract fine ass men everyday! I just don't have them being too damn aggressive to get at me. And I am NOT about to holla at a fella. Cuz if he's too shy to holla at me, we are not gonna get along. Dunno... Fred may not make any more appearances here, but... at least he got a debut in MY blog! heehee

I meet with my gynecological oncologist for my three month checkup tomorrow at 2pm.... YEA for me! I get to throw my legs up on the stirrups for this old bowtie wearing summabitch AGAIN! Howeva... as long as he continues to tell me I'm cancer free... I'll continue to allow him to dig all in my coochie!

My prayers and hopes go out to Mr. Greggy. He lost his wife to a tragic car accident thanks to some dumbass who felt the need to flee from the cops. Guess what dumbass!? Now you'll have more to answer for in court AND when you meet your maker! Mr. Greg, I hope you and your daughter recover quickly and may your wife rest in peace!