This Woman's Worth

24 September 2005


I am just getting in from my Friday night out and it's 4:30AM.

My girl is in town doing a road show (timeshares) for her job. She sells timeshares and is the roadshow manager. FYI... LOOK out ATL... she's on her way there! YES! To live! If she moves... I'll be there soon!!!

We started out at Bailey's Sports Bar... had a few drinks (Captn and Cokes for me, wine for her), played some computer game, and watched all the eye candy in the atmosphere. We had a really good time!

Well, before I headed over to the embassy suites, she told me she was rappin' with Donnell Jones' producer. Ok. Cool. DJ, MH, Shanice, and Keisha somebody are in town for the HOOD AWARDS... lmao. No. Seriously, a radio station hosted The Hood Awards tonight (best hair salon, best club, best bootleg artist, best...).

We get back to the hotel close to 2am and we're hanging out in front of her room door on the third floor and I watch this FINE ass man walk around the hall of the 7th floor, board the elevator, and ride down to the first floor. HE WAS FINE! So.... My girl says, "That's Marques Houston!" I'm like.. WATEVA... then the security guard of the embassy confirms. OK. cool.

I go downstairs to walk across the street to waffle house and as I board the elevator to go downstairs, there's this huge black man on the elevator. I ain't worried about him... I said, "What's up." and minded my own. He says, "Where'd ya'll party tonight?" I looked at him like... WTF do you care? And went on my merry way. He stopped me and made small talk with me: asking me what I do for a living, where I'm from, where I've traveled, etc. Dude's name is Moe and he's from Harlem. woowhoo. In walks Marques Houston with his liteskinned Asian/Black "bodyguard"? MH was looking fly in his white and red sweats, but who really cares. He's just another person out there making his money the best way he knows how. BTW... MH, if you're reading this... "CUTS" could use a lil more script for "Walt"! Well, Moe invites me to his room and I observe him nod at MH and MH's BG. I think, "HMMMM, let's be careful! But shit... let's have fun!" We get upstairs and we're watching ESPN and I'm all talking about what I know that I can relate to a man on (football). We're cool, laughing, conversing, etc. And he leans over and says, "Come here." I look at him all crazy like and say, "What? Excuse me?" This mofo wanted me to kiss him! Ummmm... I told him... "Ummm... NO. I don't even know you. You could be MH and I STILL would NOT kiss you!" WTF? All this after he invites me up to NY state for a weekend... hmmm... hope that ain't the pen! LOL So... I call my girl as a rescue, and she's all with producer dude leaving me all on my own. That's cool... cuz she's expecting her soon to be in the past muthafucka to arrive soon, so I'd be on my own anyways. She's telling me to take my ass to the 7th floor to find MH and I'm like, FUCK THAT! I'm already hating this muthafucka and he's with DJ! BTW... Donnell Jones... if you're reading this... Ummm... MO... yeah, that's his name, MOE! Like MO' BETTA! If YOU don't fire MO' Betta get some manners... I'll make sure he don't NEVA work another day in his life! Nah... I'ma just make sure I steer clear of "on the road" muthafuckas! Ya'll some rude acting like ya'll neva had some pussy muthafuckas!

So... I return to MOE's room and he's got the lights off and shit and says, "I'm about to take this in the other room. You wanna go lay down with me?" I say, "NO. I'm celibate and I don't want you to suffer." LMFAO! Seriously... I'm working towards that whole celibacy thing. I think it would be worth my while! I'd find someone worthy then, fa sho! And, I'll be able to weed out the lame ass fuckers real quicklike! So... Moe says, "This is what we call babysitting." ME: "What, cuz I ain't giving you no ass, but I'm allowing you the privilege of my company? Fuck you. I live right around the corner, asshole." I proceeded to pick up my purse, and exit Embassy Suites. He follows out saying, "Are you still coming up to NYC for the weekend? Cuz I still fucks with you." I turned around, rolled my eyes, patted my right ass cheek and said, "Kiss My Ass MUTHAFUCKA!" Then I pranced my ass to the elevator, pressed 1, rode that bitch to the first floor, walked out the front door, got in my truck, and drove my happy ass home!

Man... all I was doing was chillin', having a good time, and enjoying myself, hoping that others were enjoying themselves! But, nooooooooooooo.... these muthafuckas wanted to turn my ass into a groupie!


Ain't nobody betta than G! If you think you are... lol... ur delusional!
Celibate and staying my ass at home. Ok... Celibate and NOT placing myself into fucked up situations!

Man... the world of celebrities! Do all of them act like this? I'm glad I do NOT live in this world. It must be hell!

ringtadingtadingtading to the tune of "The Devil Goes Down To Georgia" which means it was a family member calling me at 8:57AM. 3 hours after I went to sleep. HEY LEON... THANKS FOR NOT ANSWERING MY DRUNK DIALING LAST NIGHT!
Dad is on the phone: "Michelle is in the emergency room. Her speech is extremely slurred and there is pressure on the left side of her brain." OK. What am I to do?
Well... here's the story folks: The hospital is keeping her at least until Tuesday. I've been sobbing for the past hour, sporadically, because it has now hit me that my sister is dying. There will be no more treatments, for now. Not for her brain, anyway. We learned today, that they learned Thursday that Michelle has 30 tumors on her brain. I need so much support right now it's pitiful. All my girls are working today. My parents are at the hospital, my younger sister is off to get drunk, and I'm off to take care of my sister's house, kids, and dog. I feel alone right now. I know I'm not, but I NEED someone to HUG me tight and tell me it's going to be okay. I NEED someone to HELP me be strong for my niece and nephew this afternoon so that I don't break down and sob uncontrollably in front of them. I NEED someone in a physical form to talk to me until I'm done talking... just to listen. You don't have to say anything back to me! JUST LISTEN AND COMFORT ME! I called my ex of 6 years who is now one of my bestestest friends and he is trying to reroute one of his flights to me so that he can be here for a few days for me. It's amazing how he's the only one I feel I can count on outside my family. I know he'll come if I need him. Ok... this isn't supposed to be another post... this is supposed to be an update. NOT only am I tired, but now I'm emotional. Not a great combo! Who knew this blog would be such a great tool for me!

23 September 2005


Have any of you had a problem accessing updated blogs? I just learned that I had to refresh every blog I visit to read in order to get to read the NEWest post! WTF? I have a lot of catching up to do! Bare with me. I haven't really felt like blogging lately, but will return soon with a newer post! Not a whole lot going on in my world... but I'm sure I can pick something to blog about! LOL

Be back later to post something worth reading!

18 September 2005


I had a really good post I created last night... it didn't post. So... u'll get the short version now. The long version was MUCH funnier!

we lost to BAMA. Man... I don't eva wanna hear someone say Roll Tide Roll, again. UGH! I wanted to turn around and say, didn't it just ROLL all over your asses? Roll your BAMA asses back to BAMA! My mom got overheated, because the damn weatherman lied. He said it'd be 83.... it reached 100. Fucker. She got really sick and had to leave the game early. We tailgated before the game, and my mom decided she was gonna have a 7 and 7...ummm... my mom is NOT a drinker... AND it was hot as fuck... AND she got tipsy offa one drink. She told me after I asked if she wanted me to pour her another.... "Nah, when I just got up, I felt like putty." I giggled... cuz I knew exactly what she was talking about. When that likka first hits ya blood stream... ya whole body is so relaxed, you feel like putty... like you can't control your limbs! When Dad and I got back to their hotel room, she seemed to be doing better, but she got real liteheaded when she stood up. I wanted to say... IT'S CUZ YOU GOT DRUNK! AND U AIN'T DRINK NO WATER!!! Shoot! It was too hot to be drinking like that! I had... 3 beers... I think... but after my second... I started drinking water with my beer because it was so damn hot! I wasn't gonna be up in those stands, hot as fuck, needing water, and throwing up! Fukkah that!

Play of the Game
Those damn refs FINALLY started calling penalties... in the fourth damn quarter AFTER we didn't have a chance! Fuckers! There were lots of uncalled holdings, face masks, AND ONE pass interference! AAAAAAASSSSSSHOOOOOOOOOLES! I know... it's rough being a ref... but it's rougher when you cheat out SC and u gotta deal with bottles and shit being thrown at you.

Play of the Day
I win this one! I went to the concessions to get my mom a plain pretzel and a soda, cuz she was all nauseated! LOL... man... I'ma have to teach her how to drink for real! As I come down the stairs from my section into the concessions... this skinny, 5'8", middle aged, white man almost runs into me. He puts his hand on my back and allows me to proceed. I thanked him and headed for the shortest concession line. As I'm approaching the line, this man speeds up, walks past me, and heads for the same line. As he looks back at me, I give him the "I know you did not just do that shit" look. He smiles and I get in line behind him. I'm watching this dude and am like, WTF is wrong with this white dude? Man... he was DRIIIZZZZUUUNNNK! Most of us pack mini bottles in our pockets so that we can continue to drink as we get inside the game. But, ya'll, this dude was so drunk, he was stumbling and slurring his words (all while standing stationary). So... I'm waiting and being patient with Mr. Drunk. All of a sudden, he reaches over, puts his left arm around my neck, pulls me into him, and kisses me on the cheek. I think, "FUCK! Now I got drunk cooties!" Then I think, "Hmmmm... he might buy the food!" So, I'm extra nice to him and talk to him and allow him to keep kissing me on the cheek. Hell, I can wash the fucker later! Hell, all he's eating is salt anyway from how much I was sweating! He notices I'm a Gamecock fan too, and says, "Cool. You're a cock fan too!" LOL... I know... if I wasn't talking about football, that statement would sound all too fucked up! However, I am a cock fan! LOL In more than one way! heehee Anywho! We get to the window to order the food and he says, "What ya getting?" I tell him and he tells me to order it. As the man tells me how much it is... I go to reach in my pocket to pay for it and Ricky says, "Don't worry about it. I got it." He orders his stuff, pays for our stuff, then we walk back to our seats." Shoot, I was only gonna get a small coke, but when I knew he was going to pay for it... I ordered a large coke! heehee I love drunk, old, white men! They always spend their money when they are drunk! I hope he found his way back to his seat, cuz he sure couldn't tell me where he was sitting! LOL Hey, Rick, if you're reading this, Thanks for saving us $10.50!!!! Ur the DRUNK MAN! LOL

1. My mom is a bootlegger! When she came back from a vacation to Maine years ago... she brought back cases of minibottles (Crown, Seagrams 7, and other shit). She didn't know she couldn't carry them over the state borders. My parents drive a 99 Tahoe. And the entire back was filled with cases of likka! lmao Man, if they had gotten pulled over... my mom was gonna tell the cop, "That's all for me. And it's really not enough." Damn.

2. My younger sister was taken advantage of by a pizza dude. She had been out partying with one of her friends and they had returned home fucked up off some Xanax and beer. They decided to order a pizza before passing out. The doorbell rang and sis woke up and went to see who it was. She forgot they had ordered pizza. The guy handed her the pizza and she dropped it... 3-4 times. Can you say... Cheese all ova the box? lol Then he handed her a soda and she dropped it. She said he went to pick it up for her cuz she was so fucked up and she told him, "Nah dude. Just leave it there." She said she rolled it with her foot to the kitchen. THEN... she went back to pay him the $16 and told him to keep the change. She said dude was grinning from ear to ear and told her thanks. She said she thought, "Damn dude! WTF are you so damn happy about? $4? Damn!" Next day she and her friend were getting ready to hit a local Myrtle Beach pool bar (swimming pool) and she couldn't find her $50 bill. LMFAO! No wonder dude was so damn happy! He made all his tips in one delivery!!! Lesson: If you are fucked up at 4AM and don't know wtf you are doing... ummm.. let someone else manage your money!

Miami beat Clemsuck in triple OT! woooowhooooo!

we fucking lost. got the shit beat out of us. got our asses handed to us on a silver fucking platter.

I talked to G till I couldn't talk anymore and was ordered to go to sleep. I miss him! heehee

And for all you fuckers who fussed at me about staying awake so I could go out last night! I did stay awake till damn 11:30p waiting for you assholes to fucking call me so I could go out and hang with you all! U bitches never called my ass back! I telephoned each of you at 9pm! Next time... I don't wanna hear ya fucking mouths! hahahahaha fuckers.

17 September 2005


11AM Sat
Call my younger sis to tell her what time I'd be picking her up to ride to the stadium to tailgate.

OH SHIT! Gotta go by the cable company to drop a payment.

Payment Dropped... ring ring... my younger sis calls... "Man, it's like Christmas already!"
Me: "Well, walk your ass outside. By the time you get to the parking lot, I'll be there."

Riding down Assembly (main route in Columbia) and looking at all these BAMA ass mofos coming to the game (BAMA vs. S. Carolina)

Out the car and walking from what feels like Florence, SC to Columbia. Damn! We walked FOREVER to get to the tailgate party!

guzzle guzzle
first beer down.. NEXT

Got dayum it's hotter than damn hadeez out here! gimme a water with my third beer! shit!

had to stop drinking cuz it was too damn hot! Younger sis pops the seal on the Fighting Cock bourbon. Man... that shit smelled like AND tasted like Marschino Cherry juice. Sis... someone got over on you! That was NOT no likka!

purchased a cute ass purse on the way into the stadium! handmade in the colors of the gamecocks (garnet and black)!

In our seats and my mom is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay overheated! What happened to it being 82 damn degrees today? Fucking weathermen

Mom is still overheated... She shouldn't have drank that Seagrams 7! Damn... this sucks!

We're getting our asses handed to us on the field!

Mom and younger sis head back to the parent's hotel room. Mom is sick. And we're still getting our asses handed to us... BUT Miami is beating Clemsuck (Clemson for you slo ones)!!!!! woooowhoooo

Dad, can we go? This sucks! I'm hot as hell, and I'm watching a suck ass game in the damn sun! I don't think it's 82 degrees. FYI... we never leave early. No matter how bad we're getting beat, we stay till the end. This is part of where I learned how to be loyal.

Dad and I are walking to the car. Got dayum! Where the fuck did I park? I know it's near that 22 sign. Where the fuck is my... ahhh... there's my baby! Hey, Dad... the new name for Spurrier's offensive line is now "Sputter Sputter...... sput." They didn't do a damn thing! WTF

Hey... can we get some grub? We're at the hotel room. Mom is looking aight, but she's nauseated. And when she stands up... she gets lightheaded. Awwww... my poor mommy! How 'bout we order a pizza or two or three?

Ummm... an hour and 15 fucking minutes for a delivery? I'll call you back. How about we do Applebees? Cool... Yeah... ummm.... 3 house sirloins and a chicken finger basket, please (sneeze). lmao

roll up to the carside take out. chick comes out with food. younger sis and I head back to the tellie.

Ummm... where are our teas? *ssssskkkkurrrrrrtttt* Turned around for our drinks... shit... she did charge us for the mofos

Got our drinks and... *skkkkkkkkkkreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech* we out.

damn... that was good... now I Need to go home, shower, change, and take my ass out!

Fuck yeah! Miami beat Clemson in triple overtime! heeheehee... One thing a Gamecock fan loves when we lose is that Clemfuckingsuck loses too!!!

Mom felt a lot better after she ate. Younger sis and I helped Mom and Dad figure out the necessities on their new Nokias... Damn... them things are fly... but not like the racers/razors.. wateva.

hugglies hugglies, kisses kisses... love you. I gotta go!

walk in the door... take off the clothes... jump in the shower... call my peeps.... WHERE ARE THOSE MUTHAFUCKAS?

these fuckers STILL ain't called my ass back! WTF (yawn, stretch) Who cares?

Now I ain't got to spend no money! *SMILE*

I walked down to the concessions during the football game to get my mom another coke and a pretzel to try to get some of that likka out her system and some hydration into her body. I walk down the stairs and this drunk, skinny, middle aged white man almost ran into me. He put his arm around me and apologized. Cool. I'm walking to get in the shortest line, and he jumps in in front of me. Man... this mofo was LIT! He's putting his arm around me and kissing me on the cheek and I'm thinking "EWWWWW.... this fucker is drunk and... EWWWW... OMG... he just kissed my fucking cheek! WTF is .... got dayum... he drunk as shit! That's cool... I'ma play this shit off and see if he buys my shit." One thing about drunk old dirty white men. When they are tanked... they spend some damn money! So... I talked to him and was nice to him... and as we got to the window to order he said order what you want. I got my large ass soda and the pretzel and when the man told me how much it was, I reached into my pants, and drunk ass white man (Ricky) slid his money under the window, smiled, and said, "I got this." I said thanks and thought, "ha... works every time... suuuuckkkkerrr!!!" We walked away and he side hugged me, told me it was nice meeting me, and walked up the first set of stairs! Ya'll, he couldn't even tell me where he was sitting! He was walking past my section of stairs when I came down. I hope he made it back to his seat! I love drunk white, older, rich men who spend their money! heehee

These fucking skinny ass, no body having, white women and their big ass sunglasses (some of you big broads ain't got no biz wearing 'em either!)! Please go buy some sunglasses that fit the shape of ya damn face!

A pizza driver took advantage of her at 4am! She and a friend were FUCKED up and had ordered a pizza. Dude showed up after they passed out. She answered the door, took the pizza and dropped it 3-4 times. (cheese all ova the box). THEN... the pizza dude tried to hand her the soda and she dropped it. He started to pick it up for her and she told him, "Nah, dude... just leave it... " and she proceeded to kick and roll it to the kitchen. The total was $16 and she paid him and told him to keep the change THINKING she gave him a $20. Pizza dude grinned like the Cheshire Cat and said, "Thanks!" Sis said she thought, "WTF are you so damn happy about?" Next day she's heading to a local Myrtle Beach bar and can't find her $50 bill! Hmmm... No wonder Pizza Dude was so damn happy! lol
Lesson: If you're drunk... have someone else manage your money! LMFAO

14 September 2005


I am so fucking sleepy! I haven't slept much in the past two days due to my sister's new news. Maybe I need to see the doctor about a sleep aide. Better yet... anyone got some they can just GIVE me? Meds are hella expensive nowadays!

Sister's news:
Monday, 5pmish, my mom calls. I can hear the stress and the holding back of tears in her throat. She goes on to tell me that sis couldn't begin the new treatments on Monday, because her veins would not cooperate (they either collapsed or rolled). Sis's neurologist called on Monday and told her that there are 12 new spots on her brain. She was to see the neurologist on Tuesday, but I have yet to speak to anyone to learn of any new news from Tuesday.

I called sis this afternoon in order to find out if she was going to choir rehearsal or not, and she was real standoffish. She told me she wasn't going and then got off the phone real quicklike. I'm home... supposed to be to choir rehearsal at 7:30, but am ohsodamntiredandsleepy. My body is calling for my bed, and my heart and mind are calling for God. So... I think what I'll do is praise him in my apartment tonight and take my behind to bed early.

It's humpday. I'm ready for the weekend. I'ma go buy a bottle of NyQuil for the weekend and sleep ALL weekend!!!

I talked with my dad tonight. Sis talked with neurologist on Tuesday and her hubby talked with the director of cancer something or another in Bethesda, MD. Neurologist suggests that they try another dose of the gammaknife procedure (please take the time to look it up if you wanna know... too tough to explain). However, they are going to have to do some scan with dye on her brain in order to find out if the twelve new spots are tumors. The guy in Bethesda told my bro in law that one of the medications my sis was taking for her cancer could cause lesions within the blood vessels that surround the brain... sooo... these spots could be lesions (I hope and pray, I hope and pray). IF... by God, please don't let it be... these spots ARE tumors... well... the neurologist suggests that my sister NOT go through with another gammaknife procedure. There's still HOPE!
BTW... my parents live in North Myrtle Beach, SC... and Ophelia grazed them today. They reported minor debri and an uprooted HUGE plant across the street in the neighbors' yard. I'm thankful that Ophelia was not too furious! Over 100,000 residents in NC are without power. Let's pray and hope that their power will be restored within the next few days! It's still HOT over here!!!

11 September 2005

My Weekend

Started out on Friday... and in a positive way.
I'm re-evaluating some things that I do in life and am looking towards changing some of my ways (ty mnm).

We took our clients (my job) to Carowinds! We had a really good time. I hit all but three roller coasters, but got to ride the two that I was looking forward to riding (TopGun and Borg the Assimilator). MAN... The Borg was the shiznit!!! U get in sitting up, they lay you flat, then you climb to the top of the coaster facing the sky, then, as you drop, it spins you over where you're facing the ground the entire way so you feel like you're flying! Man.. I swear... it was the BESTESTEST rush ever! I didn't come down for a good hour after that ride, and I saved it for last! What a way to end my day! I'm looking forward to going back, but was glad I could go with the job and get in the park for free! LOL

I got home from work around 5:30 just in time for the kickoff of the S. Carolina vs Georgia game. I swear... we (S. Carolina) shoulda won that game! We played really well against Georgia, but we made too many errors. Syvelle Newton's 15 yard penalty kicked our ass first. THEN... we missed several interceptions where the ball hit the player right in the numbers, the QB overthrew several touchdown passes, and Josh damn missed the damn extra point after our first touchdown. NOT to mention that we did NOT get our 2 pt. conversion. So... we suck up another loss to damn Georgia (15-17). Oh well. Time to focus on next week's game: Alabama vs S. Carolina.

I worked today. I took my clients to see BATMAN BEGINS. Hmmm... this movie started out slow. I kept fidgeting to stay awake cuz I was so bored, BUT it eventually picked up. I would NOT go to see this again. I just got home (6:10pm) and I stopped by the gas station on my way home to put a LIL BIT ($11 worth) of gas in my tank (I know he's yelling at my ass, cuz that $11 did not do a damn thing!). As I pulled up, I looked ahead and there was a gold minivan with this familiar, redbone with freckles, in shape, beautifulhazeleyedfineassmuthafucka pumping gas into the vehicle. I checked out the ring finger, and he was married, so I was really wondering who he was after I did tha triple take. I was shocked, cuz he did a triple take too! We never said a word to each other, because he was with his family, but we kept eyeing each other as if we were communicating to each other, "I know I know you. Who are you?" I believe his name is Phil, and I'm glad he found someone he could marry, but I can't remember where I know him from. I KNOW his name is Phil. AND... I'm 99.9996% sure that I met him when I was friends with this girl named Tae-Ryun in college. BUT... I can't remember if he's her best friend, or he used to holla at her, or if he used to holla at me. Phil was looking REAL good! And I was looking my best too! THANK GOD! I hate it when I run into a man from my past and I'm in my "it's laundry day" gear, and I wasn't today (this usually doesn't happen). I just don't want a man from my past to think I'm doing bad... sheeit... I always go out looking my best! I do my BEST to NOT go anywhere in sweats, unless they are form fitting or booty shorts, cuz dangit, I'm not ugly, and I'm not gonna have one of my ex's saying to one of his boys, "Yeah, I saw Ashley today. Man, I'm glad I let her ass go, cuz she looks like bootydo now." FUCK THAT! I'ma be the one talking shit, cuz I'ma always look good! heehee So, I pumped my gas in my "oh so sexy" stance, and continued to look at him all weird like "I Know your ass muthafucka!" BUT... I'm glad I noticed his ring before I let on to him knowing me! BUT HE was funny! He kept looking at me when his wife would look away to let me know that he knew me too. When he got in the van to take off, he looked back in the side view mirror, pulled around the other side of the tanks, stopped behind mine, then crept off and snuck another look and grinned, like he had figured out who I was. LOL THEN... as he pulled onto the highway, he put his hand out of his window, low beneath the window, and waved while grinning. OK... THAT shit ate me up! CUZ.... after I got in my car to carry my beautiful behind home, I felt like I was stuck in a pot of 5 minute old grits trying to swim to the rim of the pot to pull myself out! I HAD TO FIGURE OUT WHO THIS DUDE WAS! So... my memory is flashing a million miles a minute from 1995-present... and BOOM... it hit me. That's Phil! BUT WHERE THE FUCK DO I KNOW HIM FROM? TAE? BRANDY? Hell no... not Brandy. She never hung around FINE men. Gotta be Tae. When we went out... we were always escorted by the finest. Brandy always wanted a white man... no lite skinneddddeedddd brothas with freckles for Brandy. That's my type anyway. Did we used to holla? Man... where did we meet? But damn... he's a sneaky muthafucka doing alla that in front of his wife. Glad I'm not with him! I know his name is Phil... and if he hasn't figured out who I am... I know it's killing him just like it's killing me. He prolly gonna go call some peeps to try to figure out who I am... which is what I was going to do, BUT the people I currently kick it with... I didn't kick it with when I hung with Tae. Damnit... PHIL, WHERE IN HADEEZ DO I KNOW YOU FROM? I know I was in college... I'm just glad I figured out your name. OMG! Was he the one I threw my panties over the balcony to yelling, "These are what you wanted! Take them... this is the closest you'll get! You fucking asshole! You'll never be able to get these!" Damn... I think it was. But something tells me it isn't. If it is him... I'm seriously happy that I ain't fuck with him! LOL Cuz he's showing that he is STILL sneaky AND that was... ummm... 1999. Man.. I wish I had made him speak in front of his wife now... made him introduce me and shit. Cuz now this shit is irritating the hell outta me!

The past always comes back to haunt your ass! LOL

09 September 2005


YEAH, YOU! lol.....
I wanna make it known that although you (all bloggers who frequent my site) may read about many a male in my blog... this does NOT mean that I am dating them. LOL NOR am I doing the do with them. LOL Although, some of them I would like to do the do with... LOL BUT... most of them are my homies and I could NEVER see myself risking my friendship with them!

My last date was three weeks ago. And... I had a lot of fun with dude! We went to Baileys (a sports bar), watched a preseason game, had some drinks, went to see The 40 Year Old Virgin, returned to Baileys and drank some more, then he took me home, and he went home. We saw each other twice more, but it wasn't a date. We met at my house after work and just shot the shit together. Some men are better off as friends.

Since February I have decided that I just don't wanna have sex with Tom, Dick, and Harry, but I do have a cut buddy (bootiecallman). He's able to fulfill my sexual desires when I need to break the glass, and well... we're cool like that too! However, we have made it known that if ONE of us decides to become serious with someone, the bootiecalls come to a screeching hault. This fool called me all summer while he was in MD on summer break to make sure that I wasn't getting serious with anyone. He just KNEW I was going to have a boyfriend by the time he got back to SC. NO such luck on my part.

BUT... My eyes are and have been set on G since May. However, I'm having to resort back to my "He's Just Not That Into You" book at the section where it discusses: "He's just not that into you if he does not call you. If he says he's too busy with work to call you OR to make time to see you, he's just not that into you." Ya'll, I know he's busy, but damn... we talked EVERY day at least 2-3 times a day after bike week up until the end of June. I don't know what happened... but... damn. I miss him! He's just NOT that into me n e more.. I guess. We talk at least twice a week... but that's it. So... I'm doing my best to move forward and to be cautious as I continue to date. G has just set a standard for men now... and... well... I'm starting to believe that there is NO one better than him. He's well groomed, takes care of his son, has no drama in his life, is goal oriented, is a hard worker, knows how to have fun, is laid back, down to earth, loves his family, etc etc etc... And... well... just the sound of his voice gives me butterflies! Howeva... I don't know what to do as far as he and I go. I'm trying to show him that I want him... but I feel like I'm failing, because he doesn't call like he used to.... anyway... moving on...

I am propositioned daily by men.... to have one as a cut buddy, to have one as a sugadaddy (I could use that, but no thanks), to be treated to dinner (free meals are always accepted), to have be a friend... etc... And... damnit... I turn a lot of them down! Why?

lol... man...

Some of them are too old! 38 is my cut off age!
Some of them are too young! 23 is the youngest!
Some of them are NOT attractive! NO, I will NOT date you if you are wearing fronts (gold teeth on the bottom OR top of ya jaws) Seriously... I met this one dude, and he was FOINE! Then he smiled and ummm... damn... his looks got all screwed up due to his fronts! He pulled them out to show me that he takes care of his mouth, and man... he had some pretty ass teeth! I tried to talk to him about how he was more attractive without the fronts, but he wasn't trying to hear it. His smile was BEEEEEYOOOUUUUTEEFUL without the fronts! But... he wants to wear them.. so he got turned down.
more unattractives: blueblack men... I can't get down with ya! I wanna be able to find you in the dark!

Rough looking skin... like you popped every bump that appeared on your body and each bump u popped scarred your skin... KEEP MOVING!

NO car having muhfukkas... man... "I don't want no scrub"... I don't wanna have to drive ALL the time!

Still living at home with ya momma at 25 and older asses! Ummm... can you puhleeze show me that you can take care of yourself? This is different if you moved your mom into YOUR home, because u need to take care of her!

"I got a girl but things aren't working out with us" muhphukkas! UGH! How about you get back at me when you break up! I ain't gonna be ya otha woman! Find someone else!

"I'm separated, but not divorced, yet" types... ummm... YOU ARE STILL FUCKING MARRIED! Keep moving in the direction of LEFT field! When you get ur divorce papers... THEN you can talk to me.

"I was locked up for something stupid"... well... u did it... u served... and u won't be serving me!

SMOKERS... yeah... I smoke a cigarette every now and then... last one was in May. However... u can be fine as Christopher Williams, put a cigarette to your lips, and umm... sorry... u became ugly. I prefer to NOT kiss an ashtray.

Fat men... I'm just NOT attracted to a man who is 6feet300lbs... keep moving to the gym... I don't wanna have to search thru ya rolls to touch you.

Buck tooth looking like Buckwheat mofos! Please... do NOT step to me!

Dirty shoes wearing mofos... ummm... if ya shoes are dirty... what bout the rest of ya?

Dirty hands... ummm... if you're a mechanic OR u have to use your hands at work (this does not include computer techies)... it's cool... but damn... if your hands are dirty because you don't wash them... YUCK!

Out in public wearing a wife beater... ummm... if you got on pressed jeans and some clean shoes... I might give you a break. Otherwise... step off!

And there are many more.....
So, see... dating isn't easy for me. Well, it could be if I didn't have standards and lowered the characteristics I want in a man. Yes I get propositioned every day... but... I have turned down more men in my life than a maid turns down sheets in a hotel daily. I'd rather be single than to settle for something I'd be unhappy with in life.

Heck.. I remember one date I had...
He was a cutie! We went to dinner at a local diner in B'more (Double T's). We sat down... ordered drinks... and umm... there was this ODD silence! I kept trying to start a conversation, but dude couldn't keep up! I watched him play with his straw in his drink the entire meal. I guess he may have been nervous, but damn, don't let it show! Plus, his driving scared tha patookie outta me! It had been snowing and the roads were still covered... he's flying down the highway, burning rubber around the corners, and I seriously believe we fishtailed the whole way to the restaurant. Man... I was holding that OH SHIT handle the entire way! And u best believe I made sure my seatbelt was on tight! So... after dinner, he drove me home. He walked me to my door, leaned in for a kiss... and... I gave him the swoop the head to the side hug and smooch on the cheek. That was the end of that.

Other dates went well, but afterwards the man was always trying to get in my pants. I remember one guy saying, "I bought you dinner, give it up!" I slammed the door in his face.

Seriously... why can't two people go on a date, enjoy each other's company, continue to date, get to know one another better, and allow things to just happen between them?

08 September 2005

What's IN YOURS?

First of all, let me update all of you on my older sis's situation:
She talked with her oncologist on Wednesday, and they had a conference with an oncologist/melanoma specialist in California (the blessing of technology) and she decided to try a treatment that has been used out there. We do not know the name of it, but it is a six week treatment... NO time off from the treatment. She begins the treatment on Monday and it will continue for six weeks. please pray that the treatments are effective! I also learned on Wednesday, that she has a lump in the upper area of her right leg, on her chest, and on her back. The cancer is trying to take over, but we are hoping that with the right treatment we can beat this nasty fukker! After choir practice on Wednesday night, my sister (we attend the same church and are in choir together) got in the car and ya'll, I had to fight back tears the whole way to her house. She has lost so much weight! Her shorts looked like they were going to fall off of her! Her legs are becoming so bony... it reminds me of how my grandmother looked in the nursing home before she died.... just withering away. BUT... for my sister's sake, I remained strong and did NOT break in front of her. Please... pray hard and strong for her AND her family! She's also not herself. On the way home we were talking about how hard it was to see how fast a car was coming towards you at night, depending on their headlights and after I said something about a car's headlights she says, "NO. All I wanna do is go home and sleep." Her patience are thin and the brain tumors are causing strange behaviors... I've even noticed how my niece has changed. She's 8 and is the sweetest thing and WAS a momma's girl. I've noticed that when she's home and her mom is awake, she tends to withdraw from the room where her mom is, but I don't know why. I know that my sister is yelling more and has outbursts that make no sense due to the brain tumors, so this may be affecting my niece. Just... seriously... know that things are NOT easy around here and pray for extra strength, patience, and understanding for those of us affected by my sister's behaviors, as well as, healing for my sister.

OK... NOW on to something FUN!
I came home early from work because my stomach has been cramping like something is in there ripping at my insides, and on the way home, I was thinking about something fun to blog about and of a subject where you all could still learn something about me... so.... HERE GOES!

11 Things in my bathroom medicine cabinet
bottle of extra strength tylenol
manicure kit
blister pads
alcohol (the rubbing kind)
immodium (prefer it over pepto bismal)
plastic cups from Microtel, Best Western, and The Polo towers in Vegas
suntan oil
energy enhancing dietary supplements (VITAMINS)... and they're still good... hmmm... I need to start taking them again

OK... I'm tagging Luke Cage, Brotha Buck, Grayse, Princess, and Leon... WTF is in YOUR medicine cabinet??? If you ain't got one... what's in your bathroom???? OTHER THAN soap, shampoo, towels, and any other NORMAL bathroom supplies....

06 September 2005


I learned that I have a new crush on someone! Mayor Ray Nagin! Not only is he a sexy ass man, but... Man... after he spoke his peace, he gained a whole lotta new respect from me AND he became more attractive! *drooling* There's just something about a sexy ass good looking man taking care of business that does it for me! (remembering how I reacted after watching G win the drag race) I didn't make it to the beach on Saturday. I was just enjoying laying around doing NOTHING on Saturday! Sometimes it just feels soooo good to do absolutely NOTHING! heehee

After my girl got off work, we hit the beach for a few hours. It was so nice and relaxing! The waves crashing, the sand under your feet, the smell of the saltwater as the wind blows, and watching the surfers. It was a great way to end my Sunday. When we left the beach, we took the golfcart to Walmart then to TGI Fridays to visit some friends. Much fun was had!

FYI: I felt like I spent the weekend in THE HAMPTONS with all the golf cart riding, being surrounded by folks riding their golfcarts to and from the beach, these Asian kids on their racer scooters with the horns on them... AND being around all these rich white folks! *so this is what it feels like*

Monday: I hit the beach early, cuz me and Mom were pulling out around 4pm to head back to Columbia. I got a few chapters read in THE BEACH HOUSE (a book about a murder in THE HAMPTONS - how appropriate) and enjoyed the crashing of the waves and the sand under my feet for a few hours. Mom and I passed several ARMY convoys on I-20. They were on their way to LA to help with the hurricane relief. I wanted to honk the horn of the truck as we rode past them and wave to show my support, but damnit... I didn't wanna scare them! LOL So... I just looked into each vehicle as we passed them and smiled... I was driving damnit! LOL I returned home, in Columbia, around 8pm.

Why so late? I got back to Columbia around 7pm Monday evening... As Mom and I pulled up to my sister's house, we noticed my nephew and my bro in law looking under the hood of my car. I thought, "Aww... they washed my engine too!" I had told my niece and nephew that I would pay them each $10 if they washed my truck while I was out of town. They definitely washed my truck... and my 13 year old nephew... ummm... thought he had turned the key all the way off and kill't'uhdded my battery. So, we jumped my car as Mom and I pulled up and I let it charge. LOL Poor kid. Niece and nephew got paid for doing a damn smashing job on my truck! That thing was glimmering! They vacuumed the inside, organized the things I have in the back of my truck (tools and car washing items), forgot to clean the inside of the windows tho, they DID wipe down the leather seats with the armorall leather wipes, and used the regular armorall wipes on the vinyl in the car. I was so proud of them. As I'm leaving... My nephew had to show off his weight lifting skills. Man.. this lil 13 year old, scrawny, Opie looking boy has the guns of a damn... man... let's just say he got some guns (he's playing JV football)!!! I'd still fight his fights for him tho! I'd hate for him to get in trouble! LOL

My holiday weekend officially ended this morning when I returned to work. (wiping tear from eye)

Howeva... I did learn that there is a bikers rally and drag racing in Lancaster, SC in October (14-16) if any of you bikers are interested in attending! I think it will be a lot of fun to be had!!! YES! I'ma be there!!! If you are interested in attending, please let me know!

Later in the day I crushed on a cashier at a local grocery store! MAN... got dayum! He looks like my boy Gonzie, BUT Gonzie gets the cake when it comes to looks! This man favored Gonzie, but didn't have the freckles and the cashier's eyes were a lil more chinky than my boy's. BUT YA'LL... this boy... would make me shop here EVERYDAMNDAY! He needed to shave tho. YUK! Nothing turns me off more than a man who has gone a week or two without a cut or shave, and his face looks like it! But ya'll... Vincent, tha cashier, has my attention! I think I'ma see if I can get his weekly work schedule so I can schedule my grocery visits around his schedule... checking out in his lane after shopping can be a very therapeutic thing! AND he's got a beautiful smile!!! MAN OH MAN!

My day went to the shitter when my mom called while I was on lunch break. My older sister visited the oncologist today to have a CT Scan and to get the results of the scan and last week's MRI. BADFUCKINGNEWS!
The brain tumor that had disappeared has resurfaced, the tumors in her lung and liver have grown, and the tumors in her brain have grown. Please continue to keep her, her husband, and her kids in your prayers! She has decided to stop the chemo treatments and has requested that the doctors try to locate another treatment that may work better for her. Please pray that the doctors will be able to locate this treatment! AND... please pray for me. I have just gotten back on the path to reaffirming my faith, and this occured. My doubts are many.

Now... I'ma go pour me a rum and coke... hopefully I'll be able to cry cuz I'm finding it more difficult to show my emotions... maybe I'll write some more towards my book... and... well... eventually... I'll go the fuck to bed!


03 September 2005


I arrived to Myrtle Beach, SC last night after 11pm. I drove my parents home from Columbia (my home city). I was going to drive home, then my mom informed me last week that she would be returning to Columbia on Monday, so I was like... hmm... I'll just ride home with them! Good thing too! Cuz when I planned to ride home with them and back, no one knew gas prices would get jackedthafuckup!

My coworker and I decided to start carpooling together on Tuesday. It's just too expensive for the both of us to ride back and forth to work when we live less than 10 minutes from each other AND gas prices are close to $4 a gallon. It will be much cheaper to split the cost of gas at the end of the work week AND for ONE of us to drive each week. Yeah, I'ma have to wake up earlier so I can pick her and her baby up at 9:30 so we can drop off her baby at daycare and get to work on time... but I don't care! Gots to save money somedamnhow~! AND... we'll be conserving gas!

I'm in Myrtle Beach. The last time I was here, it was for Biker Weekend over Memorial Day Weekend... when I met G! MMMMM.... *wiping drool from my mouth from the thought of him*

It ain't the same without him! Memories: Waffle House at 4 in tha morning... driving back to his crib at 5:30am... the sun coming up... and the damn birds trying to keep us awake as we were trying to go to sleep between 6 and 7am! We didn't let go of each other ONCE while we were in the bed talking and/or sleeping. I called him when I got to the beach and he and J were on their way to Club Five in DC. Man... I miss them! Have you ever spent time in a city with someone, that someone became special to you, and when you went back to that city without that someone it just sucked? OK... This is where I am right now! The beach is sucking major bootiehole right now! BUT... I was told by G to kick up my feet and enjoy my time... which I was planning on doing anyways! It's 1pm and in an hour, I'm hopping on my parent's golfcart and I'ma zoomzoom to the beach and enjoy my afternoon! The one thing I love about my pool back at MY home is that there is NO sand! I hate the beach sand, because it travels everywhere with you from the beach until you shower. BUT... the sound of the ocean and the feel of the sand under your feet is so therapeutic that I am willing to rough the sand! LOL

This is truly just a rest and relaxation trip. I brought NO club clothes... although you don't really need them here. My goal is to just sit on the beach during the day and maybe visit at night, chill with my parents, kick it with my girl Kara, and SLEEP! I don't have money, cuz I gotta hold on to what I got for gas emergencies. AND... I'm not really feeling the clubs in Myrtle anyway. OK... I'd love to go out and dance, but I can do that and NOT pay a cover charge in Columbia. LOL So... fugga club~! I honestly wanna catch up on sleep and on what's going on in New Orleans. AND... eat alla my momma's food! LOL

Miss ya G (mmm... blackberry cobbler) and J! Wish ya'll were here! For realies!!! I might have to go buy a pack of BOMB POPS just for memory's sake! SMOOCHES!

We all should own a showerhead massager!