This Woman's Worth

27 November 2005

Weeding Out The Garden, AGAIN

Until we find that special someone, we are left to weed out our gardens in order to leave room for that special flower/tree/wateva you want it to be to grow!

Sometimes it takes a person to be nosey as fuck in order to get rid of certain weeds. Why? Because you have trusted that person to tell you the truth, yet the stink of a rat is always lingering.

Well, today, that person gave me access to be nosey. At first, I wasn't going to do it. I was going to respect the fact that this person was giving me access into their life in order to view someone this person always talks about.

Well, my curiosity got the best of me. AND, I learned that this person is actually still messing with someone he swore he has not been messing with, lately. Lately meaning as in the past two months. And for the past year, I believed this person was always real with me, and would always be truthful. Why? cuz I have NEVER hid anything from this person.

It hurts, because I feel as if I have been this person's fool for a year now. All I asked this person to do was be my friend, be my confidant, and to keep it real with me. This person always gave me his word that he would be real and give me the answers I requested. I don't know what made him lie about certain things. Whether it be because he didn't want to lose me or wateva, it doesn't matter now. He's lost me. Period.

As I sit to type this, he's calling me right now. And what I really wanna do is pick up the phone and bless his ass out. BUT! I won't. I believe that ignoring him and not answering his calls will be sign enough that he's placed himself out of the potential garden. And all he had to do was keep it real at all times. No, he wasn't my man, so he never ever had to keep anything from me that I questioned him about. We always talked about keeping it real with one another. We always reminded each other when we asked about our "personal lives" that we didn't have to lie to one another... and that helped to "keep things real" between us. Well, so I thought.

Whether it be a close friend, a family member, ya man, ya woman, ya whomeva.... when they lie, it hurts. Lying feels like someone placing their hands over your nose and mouth to keep you from breathing. It seems like a lie always takes life off of one's soul.

It's been a great ride! Thanks for the adventure. Seems like all the good things always come to an end. I hope that you will always be happy, that you will find the girl of your dreams, and that you will find success in the coming years! One Love!

23 November 2005

Happy Thanksgiving!

I haven't reallyl felt like blogging lately, but I wanted all you to know that I'm alive.

I'm traveling to the parents place for Thanksgiving via my sister. Then traveling back with my bro-in-law.

I hope all of you have a safe, joyful, and love filled Thanksgiving Holiday!

Turkey is good for you!
This morning on the Today Show, I saw a story about a man who saved an elderly couple with his frozen Turkey. The elderly couples' car caught fire in the shopping mall's parking lot. They were trapped in the burning car. A man exited the store and noticed the burning car and saw the people inside. He ran and threw his turkey through the window in order to rescue the elderly couple. I wonder if they ate the turkey after the car was extinguished? hmmm...

At least we know turkey can save lives.


13 November 2005

Weekly Television Lineup

Afternoons: During football season, it's football. Why? 'Cause I like it, I love it, I want some more of it! I try so hard, I can't rise above it. Don't know what it is about that pushing and shoving, but I like it, I love it, I want some more of it." ~Tim McGraw
Evenings: 60 Minutes or a movie on demand
Nights: 9pm - Rome on HBO... something about watching how the Romans MIGHT have lived, AND "history" of Julius Caesar as entertainment. True or not... it's entertaining. Although, I could live without some of the violence and sexual events in the show.
10pm - Gray's Anatomy... I LOVE IT! Romance in the workplace (It just does NOT work), Interracial relationships, saving lives, and friendship. I'm liking it more than ER.
11pm - I used to watch the local news. BUT... NOW... The Boondocks is on Cartoon Network, so I get my dose of Huey on Sunday nights before I go to bed. Racial issues, Issues in the entertainment world, and Urban life... man... entertainment... and cahmuhdee.

In the mornings (all week), while I'm dressing for work, I watch the Today's Show. It's just interesting. Sometimes I learn something, other times it's just entertainment.
Evening into Night:
7pm: local news
8pm: It stays on UPN until 10pm
First I watch One on One.... There's no more Flex, BUT... reflecting back on what it is like to live with the man you're dating, what college life SHOULD be like, AND struggling to make those dollars... I can relate.
Then it's All Of Us... Entertaining and somewhat enlightening about marriage, divorce, and how a child MIGHT get caught up in the mix... sometimes it's pure bullshit though.
At 9 I'm watching Half N Half... It's about step sisters that have a decent relationship and share the same father. One sister has benefited from Papa's dinero, and the other sister reminds me of me... Independent, goal oriented, and not stressing the small stuff, but having troubles in the man department. I laugh a lot during this show.
9:30 it's on with Joan, Lynn and the girlfriends. Definitely a female show. We relate through the characters' pains, love flings, relationship struggles, divorces, strained friendships, employment conflicts, and financial struggles. And we, females, can relate, because we're constantly relying on our girlfriends when we don't wanna involve the family.
After that... the television is either off or I'm watching music videos.

I watch the local news at 6 and 7.
Then I watch Nip/Tuck at 10 pm. Why? Pure entertainment. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry, and sometimes I'm left aloof. The bad thing is, I think, that this stuff might actually be happening somewhere in the world. And, if I remember correctly, this show is actually based on real plastic surgeons.

I'm at church all evening, and when I get home, it's off to bed.

Routine news watching (6-7:30)
At 9 I'm watching CSI and at 9:30 am flipping back and forth from CSI to CUTS(UPN). CSI: I enjoy watching the mystery of unfolding who the dead body belongs to and/or finding out who killed the person. CUTS: It's about a barbershop in Baltimore, MD. I watch any and everything that is based in B'more. Why? Cuz I used to live up there, I miss it, and it's a way to connect to B'more. I also watch CUTS cuz of the FINE ass man... I don't know his name, still... but it ain't M.H... who appears on CUTS, and he also was the main character in a movie on BET.

If I'm home... the only thing I watch is GhostWhisperer. It's a fairly new show, and I'm enjoying the show. It's about a female who is able to see the dead who has not yet crossed over, because of something that is keeping them earthbound. She helps the soul to come to peace with what is keeping them earthbound, so that the soul can cross over. There are some episodes that are just strange and eery, and others that will make you like, "awww".

Mornings: All cartoons. I watch too many to name.
It's usually a movie kinda day. Except during football season! Then it's all football!!!!!!!! BTW... Did ya'll hear about my Gamecocks? We BEAT Florida!!!! wooooooowhooooooo!!!!! And I was at the game for the entire winning game! It was terrific!!! It seemed like a dream, and the fans didn't leave the stadium until 10-15 minutes AFTER the game ended! Except the Gator fans... they were leaving at the beginning of fourth quarter. How dedicated they are! But I'll tell you what... ain't nothing like some fried gator meat on a Saturday afternoon! Man... what a rush! We're looking at the Peach Bowl. We gotta play Clemson, OUR RIVAL, THE STATE RIVAL, this Saturday, AND we r hoping that Kentucky will beat Georgia so we can go to the SEC championship game! I swear, I'm still hype! Go Cocks! *did ya'll know that SC is the only state that can say cocks on the radio and television, because of the University of South Carolina's mascot: Cocky, Gamecocks*

11 November 2005

PAY ME, then I'll consider

So... My coworkers are moving to a new site today.

Tuesday's staff meeting consisted of the request of the employees coming in today, Veteran's Day, a holiday, to help move to the new site.

If you seriously thought that MY ASS would go in on a fucking holiday to help move without pay, you've lost ya eva loving mind... is what I was thinking the entire meeting.

Then these fukkers had the NERVE to pass around a sign up sheet for those who wanted to volunteer THEIR HOLIDAY to move. Who the fuck wants to move on a holiday? I noticed when the sheet got around to the person who started the pass (she was sitting next to me), everyone had signed up except me and my immediate coworker.

Guess who didn't give a flying fuck?


U guessed it! ME! Miss A.

If they were moving on a day that I work, cool, I'll help move. But, you're gonna offer me comp time in a day off that I can take NOW compared to you paying me time and a half to help move? No thanks.

Then the icing on the cake is announced.

For those of you that aren't working on Friday, please come in on Sunday to set up your work station so that we can be in working order on Monday.

My thought: "Hell no!"

And I'm not going. They aren't going to pay me to go in to set up my work space, so I'll be on time Monday morning, set up my shit, and go to work.

Seriously, if they were going to pay me, then I would have at least considered going in on MY GIVEN BY THE AGENCY DAY OFF to help these dumbasses who don't ever acknowledge me move. The funny thing is... THEY are moving to a new site, not me. I'm moving down the sidewalk and they are moving across town. YOU MOVE YOUR SHIT! I'll move my little stuff on Monday if need be.

06 November 2005

Meet Ka

Thursday night I was pulling into the complex parking lot and I watch this kitten run under one of the large SUVs in the parking lot. I got out my car and walked towards my apartment, then I kicked something. I looked down and it was the kitten. He meowed at me, and I tried to ignore him so he would go away. He proceeded to walk around me and rub up against me. As I would walk, he would scurry ahead of me and stand in front of me where my next step would be placed. He was so little, so I was careful as I walked.

As I proceeded down the stairs to my apartment, he would hurry ahead of me, keeping me from taking my next step.

As I unlocked my apartment door and cracked it to walk in, I looked behind me and around me to see if the kitten was still around. He wasn't. I proceeded to enter my apartment, shut the door, and lock the door. As I turned to walk thru my apartment, I notice this upright black and white spot on my floor.

Mr. Kitten had entered my apartment ahead of me... sneaky lil bastid!

He downed some cheese, drank some water, then I tried to get him to go back outside, but he wouldn't leave.

Friday I traveled to Target with my gift cards and purchased a litter box, kitty litter, litter liners, cat food, toys, and a 3-n-1 tick and flea collar. While at work... his name just popped into my mind. Ka, pronounced Kah.

Ka is all black with white boots on his back paws, white toes on his front (except one toe where he has this marble effect), and a white goatee. As I type this, he is on the desk ledge of my computer desk and tries to keep me from typing. He's batting at my fingers as if he wants all of my attention. He's like a lil puppy. He follows me everywhere I go. When I'm sitting on the couch, he has to be laying near me so he can have a paw on me... that is IF he is NOT curled up on top of me. He chose me... for what reason, I don't know. BUT... I am going to keep Ka. He's affectionate and so am I.

I really prefer to have a dog, but I don't have the time to give one. AND they are MUCH more expensive. Cats are easy. You can leave cats home alone, and they can take care of themselves. You don't have to take a cat outside to pee or poop. They actually USE a litter box. Just gotta leave plenty of food and water.

So... I'm taking donations to help Ka get neutered, and I'm debating on whether or not to have him declawed. PLUS... I gotta get him shots and ish IF he needs them. He doesn't scratch, he hasn't thrown up, and his bowels are moving VERY well. And he loves to play. He just doesn't play with the damn balls I bought for him. I'll just take them back.

So.... Fellow Bloggers... welcome to the next chapter of my life. I have rescued a kitten. He's now my pet. I've named him Ka. I now have a NEW responsibility. WHAT is the world coming to?