This Woman's Worth

GO COCKS!!!!!

2006-12-01T06:23:00.000-08:00

"'Twas the month before Christmas and all through the town,Not a Tiger fan was stirring, not one could be found.Christmas was coming, but no one could care,The stench of defeat still hung in the air.Coach Bowden was tossing, sleepless in bed,While visions of Gamecocks still danced in his head.He was wearing his cap, which read, "Go Crimson Tide!"And trying to forget how his season had died.When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,He sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.He stood at the window, his lower lip quivered,The lesson was hard the Ol' Ball Coach delivered.The moon on the breast of the Death Valley grass,Showed Gamecock footprints from the game that had passed.When, what did he see while adjusting his hat,But a great Cock-a-boose, pulled by ragged, orange cats.With a cool-handed driver, not a sweat did he break,Bowden knew in a moment, it must be St. Blake.The cats were so tired, they pulled with a strain,So Blake beat them and shouted, and called them by name.Now, Proctor! Now, CJ! Now, Reggie and James!On, Stuckey! On, Adams! On, Gaddis and Duane!We'll ride through the Valley again 'fore I'm done,And rub that old rock one more time, just for fun.As the footballs within the wild "Cock and Fire" fly, Dumbfounding theDB's, as they watch them go by,Around and around, the poor Tigers flew,With a Cock-a-boose full of Gamecocks, and Blake Mitchell too!Then the Gamecocks stood guard o'er the Tigers out back,As they painted poor Tommy's house garnet and black.As Bowden drew in his hand, and was turning around,The Ghost of Steve Spurrier was seen floating down.He was dressed all in fur from his toes to his chin,He had made a new coat from some old Tiger skins.Several more Tigers, he had flung on his back,Jacoby, Jad Dean and Davis, in fact.His eyes - how they twinkled! His countenance - how merry!He was thinking of the team his young Gamecocks had buried.Then suddenly above the Great Spectre appeared,The names of all the coaches he had whipped through the years.The victory torches still smoldered beneath,And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.But Tommy stood blank-faced, his stomach still queasy,He knew that next year was not going to be easy.He was sad and disgruntled, a mere shell of a man,And Steve laughed when he saw him, and thought of HIS FANS.They stood face to face, Bowden wanted to run.He could hear the theme song from 2001.The Ghost spoke not a word, but went straight to his plan,Leaving Tanneyhill bobbleheads for all those at hand.And raising his visor in salute as on cue,He said, "See ya next year!", and he faded from view.Blake sprang to the Cock-a-boose, to the cats said, "Let's go!", TheTigers all cried saying, "No, Blake, please no!"But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove through the gate,"Happy Christmas to all, 31 - 28!"GO GAMECOCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

MONDAY OFFICE THANKSGIVING

2006-11-20T10:28:00.000-08:00

It's Monday. My first thought was, I have three days to get all this work done before the holidays. My second was, guess I'll be working towards overtime, cuz I don't have enough time in one day to get all this crap done! Then I hear, we're having our office Thanksgiving luncheon today! My ears perked up and was so damn happy!

I have NO money, because Bank of America screwed up my paycheck 3 weeks ago! I got paid last week, but that entire check had to go to bills. How did BoA screw up my check? 15 years of having my paychecks have my first name, middle initial, and last name on them, BoA has never said anything. My account has my middle and last name on it. BUT... on Nov. 1, all of a sudden BoA has a problem with the name on my paycheck being different from the name on my account. They rejected my check. They rejected my check AFTER I paid my storage fee and paid other bills the day I deposited my check! They rejected my check the night after I deposited my check AND paid bills! I found out that the damn bank rejected my check the next day! I go into the bank and I'm sent to customer service.

What does customer service do for me? Not a damn thing!!! After I explained and explained what happened, the cs lady FINALLY decided to write down the expenses so that she could credit any overdraft fees I may incur. Did that help? That day, yes! A week later, I look at my account and it says I owe the bank almost $400!!! WHAT!?!@?!? I don't think so.

Meanwhile, the check that the bank claims the ATM service mailed to me has yet to arrive in my mailbox!

I go BACK to the bank to let them know they are screwing up. They tell me, "Well, we refunded you one overdraft fee as a favor."

Boy, I had to say a quick prayer, because I was about to go off on this MidEastern female dog! I reminded her of what she had agreed to do for me, and informed her that the check she told me the bank would cover had been returned. So... the bank had screwed me again! Her response, "Well, I don't know what to tell you. We can't do anything."

I asked for her branch manager. She's not in today, she'll be in tomorrow.

Finally, after I told her, two weeks after they rejected my check, the day of my second of the month payday, that she was NOT getting any of my money, she decided that she would call her branch manager. Branch manager made the decision that the bank would refund ALL, did I say ALL, yes, I said ALL, of the overdraft fees! Ok... I'm good with that!

CS Lady asked me if I was going to deposit my check. Ummm... NO! Until all the fees are refunded and I can see it posted in/on my account, the bank is getting NONE of my money. She asked me if I wanted to open a savings account to put my money in until they get things straight with my checking account. NO! She further went on to explain to me that my check would not be forwarded to me in the mail, because it's a signed live check. The "ATM service" mailed my check to my old address.

AHEM!!!

My check arrived IN THE MAIL at MY NEW ADDRESS on Friday. Bank of America is claiming that it's not THEIR fault that my check was rejected. No one called me to let me know, either. They just rejected the check and mailed it to me. A LIVE CHECK IN THE MAIL. SCARY!!! So, my check arrived in the mail on Friday! Which means my check was forwarded to me! It arrived in TWO, count them, TWO BANK OF AMERICA envelopes! haha So, I have my check AND the TWO BoA envelopes to take to the bank today! I'ma let them know that it WAS their fault! AND... I'm closing my account with BoA.

Customer Service Lady asked me when I addressed the issue the first day if I would make referrals to BoA. It was all I could do to NOT laugh in her face. I told her, "We'll see how you handle this situation." Based on what you've read, what do you think my verdict is?

It's Monday. They have refunded all but ONE overdraft fee. They refunded the money for my returned check, but they have NOT refunded the overdraft fee for my check! I'm like WTF! How hard is it? Plus, the check was returned to me! No longer is that the banks fault unless they just wanna give me a free $89! haha

So..

It's Monday. The office had our Thanksgiving Dinner. Everyone brought food... well... not everyone! haha I didn't know about it. But I did eat! haha The food was really good. I've been impressed.

However, I've been experiencing this strange pain in the left upper part of my ribcage, right below my boob. I don't know if it's acid reflux, indigestion, or my gall bladder. I've talked to several people who told me they had the same kind of pain and that the doctors found that it was their gall bladder. Ummm... I don't have the time to take for gall bladder surgery. haha WTF does a gall bladder do anyway? I know you can live without it, but if we don't need it, why do we have one? Same for the appendix. I had that removed at 16.

Just know that as I end this post, that pain is getting worse! I've tried TUMS and Zantac. Neither work!

APPRECIATE THE SMALL THINGS

2006-11-02T12:38:00.000-08:00

It's a beautiful Fall day outside, although the temperature might prove differently! The leaves have started to change and fall, FINALLY! The sun is shining and we have all been given another day to breathe! Did any of you get to witness the night sky last night? It was gorgeous! The 3/4 moon with patchy clouds around it and passing over the moon made for a beautiful November night. I can't wait to see the Fall sky during the next Full Moon. We seem to take the small things for granted: smiles, thank you's, pats on the back, our environment, the presence of other people, our loved ones, etc. If any of the small things were absent from your everyday life, how would it affect you? Let's try to remember that it's the SMALL things that seem to make one's day brighter. Has anyone noticed that the sky is not the same everyday? Take time to observe your environment (inside and out) and be a witness to the awesome things that have been placed before you and for you. You never know what might change your day for the better and where you may find a peace of mind! I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL and PRODUCTIVE Thirsty Thursday! It's almost Friday! Smile!

I'VE BEEN SLACK BUT BUSY

2006-10-04T07:24:00.000-07:00

Hey fellow bloggers!

It's been a long time, I know, but.... I'm still alive, kicking, breathing, and loving life!

I started my new job in August and am still loving it! Child Protective Services (CPS) is never dull. And I get to work with the Foster Care Unit as well.

Today, I get to see how much I can type and get across within a 15 minute break period.

What have I been up to lately?

Well, I started and ended a relationship. He was married. WTH?

And, recently, I was reunited with an old friend from college. I went to the club approx. 3 weeks ago. The club's name is Club RA here in Columbia, SC. The clubs down here don't even compare to the clubs in DC and Baltimore. I miss it so much up there! I can't wait to get back!!!

So, back to my old friend.

My girl and I got to the club, were on our second round of drinks, standing next to the cage and watching people dance when I hear, "Is that Aaaaaa..." As I turn around I see this familiar face standing next to my girl's boy and the Aaaaa is completed into Ashley.

What? Who? No Way! That's..... enter his name here....!!!! We hugged and I promise you it wasn't that friendly "Hey! How have you been? I can't believe you're here!" type hug. It was a "It's really you! I've missed you so much! I'm so glad to see you! Don't let go of me this time!" movie scene hug. And it felt so good. It felt RIGHT. It felt like we belonged in that embrace forever.

BUT! HOLD UP! I remember something very important here!

Ok... gotta give him a name... we'll call him AC, because he attended Anderson College.

"AC," as I'm looking at his left hand, "how's your marriage?"

The last time I saw him, which was 9 years ago, he was engaged. Although I saw no ring on his left hand, which means NOTHING nowadays, and no marks that a ring has been on his hand for the past few sunny days.

"Ash, it just didn't work. I'm not divorced, but we are separated. She has our sons and she has a boyfriend."

And, he's been in my apartment since that Sat. night. And things have been GREAT! I've met his two sons, who are absolutely adorable, loveable, and handsome just like their daddy! She saw me for the first time last night. BUT... she acted like she didn't. I think she just wanted to know what I look like, which is cool. I can deal with that.

AC and I have spent so much time together and haven't gotten sick of each other, yet. Maybe it's the newness, BUT... well... I guess it can be new even though you've known each other for years.

What's strange is that a month prior, I was riding down I-20 to the northeast side of town to visit the family. Five miles from my exit I pass this black Dodge Durango and looked at the driver as I rode past. Man, this male was FOINE! We're talking Michael Eady FOINE!!! As I passed him, he sped up. As he passed me, we stared at each other. We did this, passing back and forth and giving each other the eye thing, all 5 miles. As the exit approached, I passed him again, jumped in front of him, and threw on my blinker in plenty of time to let him know that he could follow me if he wanted. He didn't. He rode past, staring the entire way.

The Saturday night AC and I reunited, he asked me, "Ashley, do you drive a Blazer?"

I drive a black GMC Envoy, 1998, that looks like a Blazer. A month prior to me and AC reuniting, we were driving the same interstate flirting with one another.

AC told me, "When I saw you driving, all I could think was, IS THAT ASHLEY? I started to get off the exit with you, but I had my sons with me. If it hadn't been you, I wouldn't want some crazy chick to go off on me in front of my sons. So, after you exited, I just said, IF IT'S HER, I'LL SEE HER AGAIN." And here we are.

Neither of us has forgotten about the other in 9 years. And AC doesn't remember everyone. I wonder what that means. I'm taking every day by the day and enjoying every moment I have with him.

However, I'm packing up my apartment to move in with my parents so that I can save money, get out of debt, go back to school, and enjoy life a lil more afterwards. I'm not looking forward to the withdrawal I'm going to experience come Oct. 10. I've grown accustomed to waking up in the mornings to him, seeing him after work, coming home to him after work, falling asleep next to him, and talking about any and everything with him. I'll miss his company/presence while living with my parents, but he's reassured me that we'll continue to do what we do no matter where I live. He keeps telling me that I'll be done with him before he's done with me. He said that all the girls stop talking to him because they get bored. I'm thinking... he and I have history, we respect each other, and I know how happy I am with him. I'm not going anydamnwhere!!!! But... I'ma just keep enjoying things and having fun!

So... there's the update on my life. I'm going to try to do better with blogging.

I have a lot to blog about, my parents, the anniversary of my sister's death, moving, etc... but... I have to find the time. And... maybe my 15 minute breaks can be that....

A word of advice from a DSS CPS treatment worker. If you can't provide for your child like you should or doubt your parenting skills, don't have any kids. It's not fair to the children. What I've seen in the past two months... certain people deserve to have their children removed because they are suckass parents!

fyi... I am so glad that I can listen to WPGC 95.5FM! It makes me feel like I'm closer to DC. Are there any other radio stations that are streaming in the DC/B'more area? If so, PLEASE let me know!

Personal Safety

2006-07-31T11:19:00.000-07:00

Wow! It's been a LONG minute since I've posted. Sorry I've been away so long, but... now that there is a new chapter beginning in my life... I'm feeling the need to blog.

I'm in between jobs right now. Yes! I've found a new job and have quit my old bullshit job. I start working as a child protective services case worker with the department of social services on Wednesday. I've been out of work since Thurs, and have actually enjoyed my time off. I really wish I didn't have to work, because I love being home and I love running around getting things accomplished during the day. BUT I gotta work to live, so back to work I go on Wednesday. I hope I'll enjoy my new job. It's, also, gonna allow me to be able to go back to school and change my career! So, atleast there's already a positive to the new gig.

I vacationed with the family in the mountains of NC for the week of the 4th of July. I enjoyed it, but it felt very strange with my older sis not around. Tears were shed throughout the week as we all missed her.

The Friday before we left for our vacation, I met someone. A guy. We talked via telephone all through my vacation, and have been seeing each other since I got back. That's all I'm telling you.

I learned something new about my life, recently. Something my mom has kept from me for 29 years. While I was thanking my mom for teaching me the importance and safety of wearing a seatbelt, explaining to my nephew how a seatbelt works, and bitching about all these parents I watch driving around without their kids safety in mind, my mom decided to tell me of why she started using carseats while I was a baby and of why she taught me and my younger sis to wear seatbelts. My mom told me she was driving somewhere with her best friend and her best friend was holding me in her lap in the front seat. I was a toddler. So, this would have been the late '70s when no one was wearing seatbelts and they didn't understand the importance of carseats for babies. She cont'd to tell me that she had to slam on brakes, because someone pulled out in front of her and as the car stopped, she watched me continue to move forward to the windshield. She said her bestfriend caught me and pulled me back, and that the next place I was put when the car was in motion was a carseat. In other words, I was that baby. I was that baby that almost went through the windshield and died, because I was not in a carseat.

I can't tell you how many times a day I see people riding with their babies in their arms, babies and children crawling around in the backseat, or in the front seat without a seatbelt. Some parents even allow their small children to ride in the front seat knowing that if the airbag is released, it can kill that child. I just don't get it! Don't these people love their children? If they do, then why are they not providing them with safety when riding in a vehicle? Yes, there is the concern of the child being trapped and not being able to get out of the vehicle in an emergency, but would you rather jeopardize your child's life and watch them be flung from your car and killed instantly instead of watching them live through an accident so that you can watch them smile and laugh and play another day?

How do seatbelts work? They help to keep you in the car when your car is stopped abruptly. If you're driving 45 mph and you crash, yeah, your car stops, but you don't. Although your car has stopped and is no longer at the speed of 45mph, your body is still traveling that fast. The seatbelt AND child car seats keep your body in the car and stops your body when the car stops. If you don't have your seatbelt on or your child isn't in his/her car seat, you and/or your child WILL continue to travel at the speed your vehicle was traveling and exit the vehicle via the windshield. Do you really want this to happen?

A teammate of my current man died two weeks ago, because he was not wearing his seatbelt. He was traveling back to the city after a game, lost control of his vehicle, and as it hit a tree, his body was flown from the vehicle, crashed through the windshield, and was dismembered. He died instantly, along with his 16 yr. old cousin. If they had been wearing his seatbelt, he'd be alive today. And his kids and baby's mama would have their father and boyfriend.

My 14 yr. old nephew watched a man being thrown from his BMW convertible, because the man was not wearing his seatbelt. The man was driving down a single lane road, decided to pass the driver ahead of him, the driver ahead of him decided to be an asshole and sped up to not allow the BMW driver to pass, and the driver of the BMW met a truck head on. The driver swerved, was nicked in the bumper, the car drove into a ditch, and upon the immediate hault of the BMW, the man was thrown from his car and into the ditch. He died instantly. If he had been wearing his seatbelt, he'd be alive today.

4 years ago, my best friend called me hysterically. Another one of her friend's baby was on it's way to Chapel Hill, NC, because the local hospital could not stabilize the baby. The girl and her man allowed their children to crawl around the car while it was in motion. My friend was constantly begging them to make their child stay in his carseat, but they never listened. One night, on their way home, they were driving down a dark country road. They wrecked. The baby was thrown from the car and suffered severe brain damage. No, the baby did not die, but the baby will never be normal again. The baby, also, lost limbs. If that child had been in it's carseat, he'd be normal. Now, the parents have to live with their and their child's losses.

My senior year in college, I learned that a teenager was thrown from his vehicle and killed instantly. He was on his way home to get his gun to go back to a club to kill someone he was fighting with at the club. He was driving 65 in a 50 mph zone and took a steep curve that lead him to lose control of his vehicle, hit a tree, be thrown through the windshield, wrapped around a tree, and split in half at the waist. He wasn't wearing his seatbelt. If he had been wearing his seatbelt, he'd be alive today.

So, ya see, wearing your seatbelt and placing your child in a carseat is much safer than not wearing one, because you're a thug, you're too cool, you're invincible, or because you're afraid of being trapped in the vehicle. Please, readers, when you're getting into your vehicle, fasten your seatbelt. Also, put your child in his/her carseat, correctly! If you aren't sure of how to use a child's carseat correctly, your local police department will be more than willing to show you how to use it correctly. If your child isn't in a carseat, make them put on their seatbelt!

UGH!

2006-06-05T06:54:00.000-07:00

Ya know...

I've sat down to this thing numerous times to post some interesting things that have been going on in my world lately. I've made discoveries about myself and have had soooo much fun in the past two weeks, but I can't bring myself to sit down and actually type about it.

I started out posting something everyday. Even if it was about some bullshit. But now, I'm like... when I feel like it, I'll post. I'm just not really into it all that much anymore.

When I can actually sit down to the computer and focus on typing about events that have come to pass, I'll post 'em.

I just can't focus... I got too much working inside my head to focus on ONE thing at a time.

It's even difficult for me to focus at work!

Any suggestions? And, hayle to the naw... I am NOT taking meds! hahaha

I've made it this far without taking meds... I think I'll continue on my lil path!

First Spring Storm

2006-05-05T15:29:00.000-07:00

It's approaching!
It's getting darker.
The tree tops are swaying back and forth.
The leaves are rustling.
The rumbles can be heard off in the distance.
The dark grey clouds could be seen for miles in the distance.

There's something about the approach of the storm that excites me. Seriously. I love watching the lightening, listening to the rain falling, and hearing the different noise levels of claps of thunder on a warm, spring and/or summer afternoon. Late afternoon that is... afternoon that is falling into evening.

What makes these storms even better is having someone special to cuddle with and talk with during the storm. Maybe even have a lil loving involved.

One memory frequents my mind when there is an evening thunderstorm where you can really see the lightening.

I was living in Baltimore, and I had met a man named.... we'll call him Young Noah. He had arrived at my house early that evening. We had dinner, and were chilling at my place afterwards. Later that night, u could hear the leaves rustling, there were flashes of lightening, and rumbles of thunder. Y.N. was laying at one end of the couch and I was laying at the other end. We gazed at each other, talked about how we both enjoy thunderstorms, and enjoyed one another's company.

I miss the times I shared with Y.N. I'm looking forward to experiencing the same type of atmosphere with Mr. Right Forever.

The leaves are still rustling.
Low rumbles of thunder can be heard.
Tiny pitpats of rain can be heard.

Anyone care to join me? Oh.
I don't mean ANYONE. I mean YOU.

TYPICAL STEREOTYPES... make it end

2006-04-22T18:27:00.000-07:00

pick the stereotype that fits you the most...
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUSTmust not believe in being responsible.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be over-dramatic.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I DON'T LIVE WITH MY CHILD, so I MUST be a dead beat parent.
I'm ATHLETIC, so I MUST be stupid.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST drink and do drugs.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be gothic.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virign.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITHA MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm ITALIAN, so my family MUST own a pizzeria.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm REALLY INTO MY MUSIC, so I MUST be scene.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRL FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST not care about people's feelings.
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I'm a sk8er ,so i must be popular.
I'm BRAZILLIAN, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST rob, do graffiti and stab people.
I WEAR GIRL PANTS, so I MUST have no friends.
I WEAR GLASSES, so I MUST be a NERD.

this is to help people understand that stereotypes are dumb! and normally are not correct...get to know people dont judge them! When will it end?

WHOOP THAT TRICK

2006-04-21T10:21:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday: Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't give a damn about? Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you? Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty, you can look in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it? Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very very glad to officially announce tomorrow as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY!

These are the rules you must follow:
* You can only slap one person per hour - no more.
* You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
* You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
* No weapons are allowed...other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.
* CURSING IS MANDATORY! After you have slapped the recipient, your "assault" must be followed with something like "cause I'm sick of your stupid-a$$ always messing up stuff!"
* If questioned by a supervisor or police, if the supervisor is the irritant, you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE! Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living day lights out of and get to slapping.....and have a great day!

Seeking Employment Elsewhere

2006-04-19T09:23:00.000-07:00

My week has been HELL! And it's ONLY Humpday.

Last Friday, Good Friday, my coworker and I had scheduled a day trip for our clients. Well, we only had ONE client decide to go and we cancelled the day trip. We are NOT gonna go out of our way to do something special for just one person for the entire day. Plus, I didn't have any bill time (our salary is based on our production) so the day trip was a waste for me. My coworker and I decided that we would go back to the office, do some paperwork, then head home for the afternoon. Well, being that our supervisor was on a day trip herself, we didn't think to call her, but we left her a note on her desk informing her of what occurred.

A few weeks ago, I got sick while at work and needed to go home. I couldn't get in contact with my supervisor, so I left her a note letting her know that I went home. Never heard anything negative about it.

Well, my supervisor returned to work on Tuesday. She entered our office, shut the door, and handed us a piece of paper titled "Written Reprimandation".

I'm thinking: "WTF! I'm getting written up? For what?"

Yes. I was written up for leaving work early and for not contacting my supervisor to gain her permission for leaving work early. *huge sigh*

Ya'll, I have NEVER been written up before on a job. I've been fired. But NEVER written up! I was pissed at myself for not even trying to contact my supervisor to let her know what was going on and that we were heading home. THEN... I learned the REAL reason why I was being written up for this shit!

Our CEO had approved leave for the entire office except 2 people on Good Friday. Their office is on the other side of town from where my office is located, and one of the 2 people called out sick. So, Ms. CEO was stuck with one other person answering phones and trying to get work done. I call it poor management. So, I got written up for "insubordination".

As the day goes on, I'm end up brushing off the write up and focusing on other things... my clients problems for one thing and other things that I need to be getting done. By the time I got off work, I was cool.

This morning as my coworker and I get to work, my supervisor comes into our office again.

She claims that she fought with Ms. CEO all morning about getting our/my leave approved. And that Ms. CEO decided to leave it up to my supervisor and her supervisor. She said that she had already signed our leave slips and that she is going to approve our leave, because we have the time to take off. Ok, cool, thanks super. Appreciate you fighting for that! I'm sure if you didn't pay me for the 6 hours I didn't work, it'd hurt me next month.

So, she's walking towards the door, turns around, and says, "Ms. CEO is ready to dismiss you two."

Me thinking: "Excuse me? What did you just say?"

Super. says, "While we were arguing about your leave slips, she said that what you did is grounds for dismissal."

Okay... so now ya'll are thinking about firing my ass? OK! Please, don't wait too long! I been wanting to leave this unappreciative of your employees assed out place for the longest! Hell, fire me! I'll be the first one in the unemployment line tomorrow morning!! Sheeeit.

After super exits the office, I look at my coworker and she says, "Hell, we ready to leave the state anyway. My husband wants me to leave."

And I already KNOW I don't wanna be in no south.damn.carolina for the rest of my life. Ain't shit here but fam, and I can come back to visit them.

So, I'm now in the process of locating employment elsewhere. Preferably out of this damn state! And into a field that is gonna pay my ass some damn loot! Yes, I'm still planning to go back to school, but it ain't happening fast enough! And the waiting list to get into the program is like 3-5 years!!! UGH! But, everything is a freakin process! Right?

If there are any single, rich men out there who would like to have me clean their house, provide them with company, and give them sex to take care of me, let me know where you are! Heck, if you aren't single and would like to be my sugar daddy, let me know!

I kid, I kid!

DON'T GO IN THE TREES!!!

2006-04-17T15:46:00.000-07:00

My Easter weekend went well! I hope all of yours did too!!!

My homeboy and I started it off with some sticky icky. He is the best smoking pahtna! He don't act all manly like you faking ass mofos out there! He gets silly with that shit too and I loved every minute of it!

We were watching Lord of the Rings: Two Towers, and we picked up on some unusual shit that we didn't when we were NOT high. Smeagul comforts himself when he's captured by the humans. Seriously! He's rubbing himself while he's talking to his significant other/dual personality. That was kinda freaky. THEN... the damn Lichens! Those big ass trees! OMG! One of 'em had an overbite!!! WTF! Why... why would someone give a TREE, of all things, an overbite? I guess it added character! I dunno.

Anywho...

Sunday came around and I made it to church, learned some valuable things, and after church, the fam and I went to the lake. We packed the cooler with beer and food - which was left at home (we bought more), hooked up the boat to my sister's Denali, then ventured into the sticks (that's the country for you city folk) to begin our trek to the lake.

It was beautiful!!! 90 degrees, sunny, blue sky, and us. There was NO ONE on the lake yesterday! It was odd, but we loved it! That meant we did NOT have to fight for an island to beach and start a fire to cook our food! We chose our island with a beach, dug a hole with the paddle because the shovel was forgotten too, and drank diet dr. peppers so we could place the grate on them around the fire. I swear... it took forever for that damn fire to smother... can't be any flames or ya food will cook too damn fast. BUT damnit... I was hongry hongry (that's the double word emphasis for how hungry I was).

We started cooking the sausage and the hot dogs while I was leaning on the boat. I trekked over to the boat from the point of the beach, because my stomach started bubbling. All I could think was, "This is NOT a good thing." My sister, the younger one, started laughing at me, cuz she could see me getting red in the face. My stomach was HURTING so bad that I was having to make myself breathe! I could feel the bubbles getting lower and lower.

Earlier, before finding the beach, my sister made sure we had papertowels on the boat... you know... for us women if we had to go. Our bro in law reassured us that there were papertowels on the boat. *wiping forehead in relief*

My sis and my nephew bring me a hot dog each and as I down the second dog, OMG.

"ummmm... Lynn (my sister)... ummm.. yeah! U think u can get in the boat and grab those papertowels?"

As my sister walks, EVER.SO.SLOWLY, to the boat, I'm thinking, "Walk faster please!!!!"

She's about 10 feet away when I say, "Yeah, ummm... u think u could speed it up? It's time."

She spits out, "Hey Ashley, Gotta go to the bathroom?" (from The Goonies)

When my stomach started bubbling, I sent my nephew up into the trees to find me a spot, a private spot, so that if I had to go to the bathroom, I could.

As my sister handed me the papertowels I took off for the trees. I walked up the leaf-filled trail to the top of the island, and hung a left. I saw, immediately, the clearing, but brush-filled, that my nephew told me about. I found the biggest tree, pulled down my shorts and bikini bottoms, and... "damn, what was that?"

I heard something that sounded like it was walking up on me. I looked between my legs and behind me, and damn... I had already started shitting! DAMN!

Let's just say that after I was finished, it looked like a damn bear had been in those trees!

As I was coming back down the path, I heard my sister yell, "Hey, Ashley, you took forever! You feel better?"

Me thinking: "Heck yes, I feel better! WTF do YOU think?"

About 45 minutes later, all of us are in the water, except my sister. She's sitting on the beach with "stomach cramps". Ten minutes later, I see her grabbing the roll of papertowels and hitting the trail. I yelled out to her, "Hey Lynn! Gotta go to the bathroom? Go to the left, not the right!" If she had gone to the left, she might have mistaken my poop for moss or a pile of algae. lol

When she came back down... she came down from the left of the trail. I yelled at her, "You dummy! I said go to the right!!!" Then I held up both hands in the form of the letter L and said, "your left hand gives you the L doofus!!!" She swore she went to the right. But there was NO way she went right. I bet that heffa had to go check out my dump pile so she could out do me! haha

Anywho... if you're ever on Lake Wateree outside of Columbia, SC and u hit the first island on the right, oops, I mean LEFT (holding up hands to see which one has the L). Don't go into the trees!!! I promise that there is a trail of poop lined papertowels on that island!

HIPS DON'T LIE

2006-04-11T10:58:00.000-07:00

At seventeen I visited my first nightclub. I was a teenager and curious about the nightlife. I had just started my first waitressing job and met Donna. She's was a fiery redhead with lots of pizzazz! I idolized her! Everything from her hair, her looks, her style of dress, to her independence.

I would go to her house after work and chill for a few hours. We'd play Nintendo. There wasn't a playstation back then. I used to beat her ass at Street Fighter... ONE and TWO! hahaha

On Thursdays and Saturdays we visited Xanadu nightclub in Myrtle Beach! Our first night there I was nervous. I wasn't 18 and I Just KNEW I wasn't gonna get in! Donna looked at me and said, "Don't worry about it! I know EVERYONE that works up in here!" I was like, COOL! My thoughts were: Damn... I'ma get in UNDER age AND I get to meet folks that work in a club! DAYUM! I'm about to be the SHIT!

Well, we got in... FREE OF CHARGE! heehee And our frequent nights at Xanadu led me to get to know the DJ's, bouncers, and bartendars. I met quite a few tourists by being a regular at this club. AND... my God given rhythm improved through frequenting Xanadu.

I made my first "tourist boyfriend" at Xanadu. I was the only white chick on the floor dancing to all the hiphop songs that the DJ would play. And I spotted the FINEST black men in the club. Tracy and Jason. Tracy was hawkin' me, and Jason was playing it cool. I walked into the DJ booth to talk to one of the DJ's and upon exiting the booth, Tracy pulled me aside. He led me to the dance floor and I shook my ass all up on his hot rod. Then, Jason jumped in front of me! It was my first sandwich! I wasn't sure what to do, so I just acted like I was riding a horse and shook my ass some more! I started feeling this poke in my ass and as I turned around and glanced down...

yes, men... when you poke us on the dance floor, and we turn around... we're turning around to catch a glimpse of what is poking us AND to make sure that we really did shake our ass all up on ya pleasure pole to where it became rock hard!

There it was... my first pitched tent on the dancefloor... and I caused it!!!!

Needless to say, I frequented different nightclubs on the regular during my remaining highschool days and all through college. And yes... many men went home at night wishing that they were taking this shakeable hips home.

Well, through college, I learned the art of seduction on the dancefloor and how it could lead to more pleasureable things after going home with my man.

I met Corey at Characters (a nightclub in Greenville, SC that is now a stripclub).

How come when a nightclub gets closed down it turns into a damn stripclub? Characters got shot up one night and they shut that shit down.

Anywho... Corey and I started dating. He attended a college 45 minutes away from me, but we made it a point to see each other on Wednesday nights at Characters and on the weekends. When Keith Sweat's "Nobody" played, Corey and I were heating it up on the dancefloor. If it hadn't been for all the sweaty bodies on the dancefloor and that we were fully clothed, one woulda thought that he was Osama and I was a cave and he was hiding inside of me. Seriously, the way we danced did nothing BUT get us ready to get back to our dorm rooms so that we could get back to our dorm rooms and get raunchy up in there!

Recently, my ex from B'more visited. Before Thanksgiving of last year, if you must know. When I met him, he took me to a club where he worked and I was just a wallflower, because I was out of my element. He's a DJ. So, we decided to visit a club here in Columbia that I was curious about, Club RA (pronounced RAH). Little did I know was that he seriously thought that this white chick was that NO.RHYTHM.HAVING.WHITE.GIRL. haha... I fooled his ass. "My Hump" played and I shook my big ole dunky all over his pole. I felt him grab my hips and it was like a well put together ham n cheese sammich. We were grinding like we hadn't even left my apartment. We weren't even on the dancefloor yet. We were upstairs next to the DJ booth.

He grabbed my hand a little after 11pm and said, "C'mon. It's time to show these bama's how we do." Remember, he's NEVER danced with me before. I was the wallflower at his club.

We get on the stage, front and center, surrounded by sweaty and, some, smelly folks. And I realized why I no longer go to clubs. Man... people be stepping on ya toes, running into you, hitting you with they elbows... and... UGH! By 1:30, I was ready to fight and my ex escorted me out the club. These mofos weren't even apologizing! And they was stepping all on my damn Gianni Bini's! I paid damn... okay, my mom did... good dinero for those bitches!

but... getting back to the dance...

I started shaking my ass... Mariah's party jam that was out, and I'm calling it that cuz I don't remember the name of the song, came on and my ass felt like it was doing it's own thang! I felt my ex crawl up on me and we started doing the nasty, rhythmically, on that stage. As he would turn me around, I would catch other men giving me the eye and I just grinned at them. Then my ex whispered in my ear... go get him baby. And I did... dude couldn't keep up. But he did try. Shakira's "LaTortura" came one... OMG... the Hispanic blood that is not in me started bubbling! And let's just say the night got better and better. My feet ached like someone had driven broken glass and nails up in 'em, but I had so much fun. AND, my ex became my baby that night. We had so much fun together!

It had been a LONG time since he and I had been out to have fun together! And we were both in our element... a club surrounded by music loving people and great sounds coming from the speakers. However, I haven't met a DJ who has anything on my ex... and I'm not being biased

I swear!

We got in my truck to come home and he leaned over and said, "You really surprised me tonight, baby."

Huh? WTF is he talking about?

HIM: "I have to admit. I've always been afraid to take you to a club. But now that I KNOW you got rhythm and you can shake your ass like that! Baby, I'll take you anywhere!!"

It really meant a lot hearing that come from him. He's not a big complimenting man. But that compliment meant a lot. I've always heard that I could move my hips, but hearing it come from a music and dance conoisseur (sp?) it meant the world. Now I KNEW that I could do my thang and hold my own on the floor!

Let's just say my hips talked to him that night and when we got home... we reminisced through body language! There's nothing like going dancing with your man, getting heated up, enjoying each others' company, building up your sexual appetite for one another, then coming home and exploding all over each other!

If you get the chance to dance with me, ever... and I shake my hips on you like I'm not wanting to control myself from being all over you, my hips aren't lying.

Everytime I hear Shakira's new single "Hips Don't Lie", I really think about that one night in Club RA and how my hips NEVER lie. That's my new jam!!!

Doing My Happy Dance

2006-03-31T15:55:00.000-08:00

The day started early.... we had a cookout for our clients, which meant I was getting off early, 1.5 hours earlier, on a Friday. That alone had me grinning all day. I get tired of getting off at 6:30pm, watching all the fuckers sitting at applebees enjoying their happy hour drinks and whore durvs, and coming home after everyone else has eaten dinner. So, the day was already good.

Today was also payday, which is a good thing, cuz rent is due. It IS the first of the month! After I got off work, I went by the bank to deposit my ENTIRE check. So, I'm sitting in the vehicle happy, no worries. It's FRIDAY and I'm off early!!!! Yeah baby!!! Then, there's this man's voice coming through my drive thru pole.

"Ma'am. You can't do anything with this check today. It's dated for tomorrow's date."

WTF??

"Sir, it's after 2pm. Why can't I deposit my check? It's already the next day, banking wise."

"Ma'am, we no longer do carryovers."

WTF????!!!!!

I snatched my check, deposit slip, and driver's license out the damn pole. I slammed the gear into drive and drove off. Why the fuck can't I deposit my damn check? Everyone else was able to do shit with their checks today!!! Fuck it... got dayum! Now I gotta get up early on a fucking Saturday morning to deposit this fucking check so that I can pay Verizon and the electric company they fucking money!!!! I hate bank of america!!!! Stingy muthafuckas!!! All the damn check is gonna do is sit there till Monday night anyways! It won't even post till Monday night! Stupid fuckers!!!

I get home, walk in the door, and sit down to check my account balance.

Raising eyebrows. Holding breath.

Did that say U.S. Treasury?

Taking another glance.

I'm not supposed to get THAT much back!

I need to call Daddy.

My mom answers: "Mom! So, blah blah blah... blah blah blah... and I got home and checked my account and the U.S. Treasury has given me X amount of money as my refund!!! But, I'm not supposed to get that much back!"

My Mom: "Woooooooooooooooooooooooowhooooooooooo!!!! LUCKY YOU!!!"

Me: "Mom! Did you hear what I said? That's not how much I'm expecting back!"

Mom: "You must have made a mistake and.."

"No, mom, THEY Musta made a mistake!!!"

Why? Cuz stuff like this just DOES.NOT.HAPPEN.TO.ME!

Dad suggested I call the IRS hotline, so I did after I hung up with Moms.

I dialed the number, put in the requested info and listened.

"Due to an error (what? an error?) we found within the paperwork of your tax returns, we increased the amount (you have GOT to be kidding me! April Fools, right?) of your refund to X amount of dollars."

What? *jumping up and down and grinning from ear to ear* An error? In MY favor?? YES!!!!!

*doing my happy dance*

Fuck the bank!!! hahahahaha

I'll deposit my check on Monday you fuckers!!!! hahahaa

Ya'll, I feel like a load has been lifted! No, I'm not out of my financial woes, but the Lord has helped me to start digging my way out. The Lord is AWESOME!!!!

Now, I can transfer my car registration, tags, and driver's license to SC! And I been here... well... nevermind... I don't wanna incriminate myself.

And, I can catch up on other bills!

Yes, I was holding my breath as I listened to that computerized voice on the other end of the IRS hotline. But, damn! When I heard error in MY favor!!! I was in here ready to do cartwheels all over my apartment! I was doing my happy dance.... all.over.my.apartment!

I'm still grinning with glee on the inside and am ready to open a savings account AND pay on some of these bills so I'm not behind anymore!!!

The Power of Prayer!!!

Wow.

Amazing!

Thank you God, and thank you IRS for redoing my taxes!!!!!!

YIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

btw... DID Ya'll catch THE SHOP on MTV last night? Did anyone happen to see how FOINE Van was looking? And how the hell did that stupid ass kid get the food orders wrong, TWICE! Ignuhnce, I swear. But, HEY VAN, if you're reading this... I'd bring you lunch EVERYDAY BABY!!!! SMOOCHES!

RIP IT BABY

2006-03-25T13:48:00.000-08:00

I watched BET's RIP THE RUNWAY last night. And I was very pleased!

Who am I to be pleased? A consumer of great looking clothing!

LL's line was hot! AND he had his son up in the mix of models!

Steve Harvey's line was hot too!!! OMG!!! HOT TO DEATH!

But who won it for me?

Monif C, Qrystal, and Courtney Washington and their plus size models AND clothing! I wear some 16s, but cannot fit in most of the "plus" size clothing, although I appear as if I should be wearing them. But let me tell you! These models were the sexiest! They had the curves! And there is NOTHING like a curvaceous woman!!! And LL... Lemme just thank YOU in advance!!! LL has renamed the clothing size of "plus" size. He is now calling us SIZE SEXY! That's right!!! Us PHAT GIRLS are wearing SIZE SEXY and we're doing the damn thing!!! All you beanpoles out there... sir mix alot told ya'll a long time ago... ya'll AIN'T IT MISS THANG!!! hahaha So... ladies... when we're out there shopping for our larger sizes cuz we got the curves to ride... just remember... we're shopping in the section where SIZE SEXY is located!!!!

I'm headed to the websites to find out how much a few of these items cost! A lot of them are GOTS TO HAVES!!!!!

If you missed it last night... u know BET gonna play it again, and again, and again, and again, and again... hahaha

any questions?

2006-03-24T06:46:00.000-08:00

let's see...

U can fuck wit me... but remember... u don't know me...

I'ma mean bitch and will come at you like this!

AND this

HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING

2006-03-19T12:12:00.000-08:00

Let's say your spouse passed away, recently, and you're left with a 9 year old and a 13 year old.

You're noticing that your 13 year old is angrier than usual for a teenager, the teen is yelling more, the teen is lying more, and self-isolating.

The 9 year old seems to be handling things well, but is going through weird bouts of not eating, claiming to be sick regularly, losing interest in things the child used to love, and doesn't feel safe around you anymore.

Your in laws know that the kids need counseling and have suggested that you visit a counselor. You did.. but aren't sure you want to continue, and you don't know whether or not to drag the kids to counseling against their will.

Your kids are claiming they are okay and do not want to see a counselor, but deep down you KNOW that it would be good for them in the long run versus a difficult adult life.

Would you make your child go to counseling against their will?

1.5 HOURS

2006-03-09T17:59:00.000-08:00

MAN

I'm so excited!

I've been thinking about it all day!

hahaha

Okay... I'm joking. I haven't REALLY been thinking about it/HIM ALL day...

It hit me around 7pm this evening that... HEY... It's Thursday!!!

Do ya'll know what that means?

Hell naw ya'll don't!!!

I guess I gotta tell you fuckers!

It is currently 9pm on a Thursday night. In one point five hours it will be time. That's 10:30 for you ignant fools who can't tell time.

At 10pm, my boobtube will be on MTV. I'll be watching Wild N Out. Then... at 10:29pm I will be getting hype!

The Shop is coming on tonight mayne!!!

What's coming on you say?

The Shop heffas!!!!

You know... that show about the barbershop in NYC? The show that has ONE female barber and one, okay Grayse, TWO FOINE ass barbers!!!! The show that discusses different issues, music, artists, etc. Seriously... I'm loving this show! And I'm really looking forward to tonights show! Why? You'll have to tune in to find out heffas!!! Let's just say that last week's preview of tonight's show has lead me to believe that Van... mmmmmm... that chocolate morsel is deliciously viewable... will have a lot of TV time tonight!

Yeah... yeah... yeah...

I know his ass is young, but who the fuck cares?
*drooling*

I found pics of him on MTV's website for the shop, but I can't copy those muthafuckas to paste on this bitch.

I'ma find a way!

Tonight, tomorrow, the next day, the next week, howeva the fuck long it takes, Pinky! We conquer the copying and pasting of VAN's pics!!!!

Can you watch the show over there Grayse??? ahahahahah

yeah well

2006-03-06T16:01:00.000-08:00

ok... so the Oscars were the Oscars with the shock of 3 6 mafia winning an Oscar for a song about a pimp.. lol... ok. Congrats. And damn! Did anyone see how damn FOINE Terrance Howard was looking last night? Great googlie mooglies!!!! And he brought his son with him to the Awards.... he's a cutie, with all his good hair.

Best dressed: Charlize Theron. That bitch rocked it!!! And she could get it!

BUT

I'm ready for Thursday night already. My show comes on at 10:30pm. It's on MTV and damnit, I know that my baby daddy is on that damn show! I saw him! LOL Naw... for reals... I am madd attracted to that man, but ain't no way in hellz that we would eva meet so that I could actually let him know... well... I'd tell him this, "VAN! VAN from MTV's THE SHOP! I got a crush on you!"

Last week he walked his walk like he would if he were modeling! GOT DAYUM! If he were a model, I'd be at EVERY DAMN SHOW! I'd buy EVERY magazine... JUST TO SUPPORT HIS CHOICE TO BE A MODEL!

I mean... VAN... the man has great facial features and he dresses like WHOA!

The next time I'm in NYC... I'ma just walk past The Shop to get a personal glimpse of Van... I'm not sure if he's makedededed up for TV or if that's all him on the show.

I saw a preview of this week's show... and I got a lil scared... tune in this Thursday night, to MTV at 10:30pm to get a glimpse of my crush, VAN, and to see why I got a lil scurred! hahaha

I knew you couldn't be gay man... you too foine!!! hahaha

Now Teddy on the otha hand... hmmm... *scratchin temple*

Sorri Grayse... and I know he MIGHT NOT be gay... I know his 'date' showed up... she ain't got nothing on you tho girl!!! hahaha

SURVIVING THE GAME

2006-02-26T16:36:00.000-08:00

Okay,
I know that this news is old with Dick Cheney shooting his friend.

BUT!!!!

I was watching Surviving The Game last night. You know the movie where the hunters, who are fucking insane, are hunting Ice T!!!

How do we know that the VP isn't into that type of shit and is so old, that he needed an easy target?

Damn.

I'm just saying...

It coulda happened that way!

My Special Day

2006-02-21T12:31:00.000-08:00

29 years ago, My mom gave birth to a healthy and beautimous baby girl. I was one of those cute chunky babies, whose arms looked like lil sausage links.

I was the first baby to be born healthy, but we won't get into alla that, because it's MY birthday!She named the girl, Elizabeth Ashley Bolton. She had planned to call me Beth, but one of my uncles had adopted a little girl and decided to call her Beth, so I'm called Ashley.

I was a heavy ass baby... I weighed 8lbs 12oz. Isn't it amazing what a woman can push out of herself? Don't ask me how long I was, cuz I don't know.I know I stand 5'5" today, so I wasn't very long.

I've been told that as a baby, and even today, that when someone wanted to hold me, they definitely HELD me. I gave them ALL of me to hold. I didn't volunteer to uphold ANY of my weight and when people held me, I was like a sack of bricks. There were also times where NO ONE wanted to change my diapers. Everyone would pass me over to the next person when I had a smelly diaper. I guess my poops didn't smell like roses.As this baby grew to become an adult, she drove her parents crazy during the teen years, but made them proud as she graduated high school and college.

This baby is still finding her way in the world. People are her strengths. She loves meeting new people and learning from those who surround her. She learns something new everyday.She meets someone new everyday and experiences something new everyday and she LOVES IT! She thrives on all the newness!Will you get to meet this wonderful, loving, sweet, and caring person... who can also be a bitch? HAHA... I had to put that in there, cuz if I don't, my younger sis will!

Anyways... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!

*In my best 50 cent voice*
GO ME.. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY... I'MA PARTY LIKE IT'S MY BIRTHDAY... I'MA SPEND 500 DOLLAS ON MY TRUCK... CUZ IT'S MY BIRTHDAY... THEN I'MA EAT SOME NOODLES FOR DINNER, CUZ I'M POOR, AND IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!! HAAHAHAHA

HOW MANY OF US HAVE THEM?

2006-02-18T15:36:00.000-08:00

Friends!

My truck had to go to the doctor last week. I dropped off my baby on Monday at lunchtime, hoping he'd be back with me by the end of the week so that I could head to ATL for my birthday. Thursday came around, and I hadn't heard any thing, so I called the mechanic. They had just gotten my boo up in the garage and wanted me to call Friday. I called Friday and today.

Obviously, I'm at home, stranded with no transportation and am yearning for some damn fried chicken. The only groceries I have in my house are canned veggies and some pasta. I don't want any of that. Not only am I fucking hungry, but my fucking birthday came crashing down with the fact that my baby is gonna cost me some money and won't be back with me until midweek next week AND my damn cellphone bill is fucking.out.rage.us.

I'm broke. I won't be traveling any.damn.where for the next three months.

I'm getting a huge refund from my taxes, but.that.is.going.to.savings. I gotta have something when I get to the age for retirement! Shit... my parents are collecting social security in the next 3 years, but my ass will probably NEVER see that shit!!! All that money that comes outta my check for that shit, and I'll never see it again. That sucks!

So... anywho... the fucking phone bill.

I'ma owe on it for two months. Remember that muthafucka from the previous post that was so damn arrogant and self-centered? The bill ran up to over 600damndollas thanks to his talkative skinny, 35 yearold looking like he 50 years old, stingy, calling himself rich ass. Yeah, I'm pissed. And I wish there was a way I could make him pay half the damn bill. Hell. He knows I'm poor... he made a fucking reference to my financial status. LMAO

So... I'm broke, and the car is in the shop. The mechanic told me today that he thinks the time has run out on it. LMAO. I'm sitting on my bed thinking, "NO SHIT SHERLOCK! The waterhose has been replaced, the steering column repaired, and all kinds of other shit. That bitch wants to die and go to dump heaven!" So... the technician that specializes in giving the vehicle MORE... lol.. time doesn't work on Saturdays. He'll be in on Monday. So... I'm still stranded in my fucking apartment!

I called my younger sister who lives right.around.the.corner from me and requested that she drive me to walmart so I could get everything I Need. NOT WANT... NEED! Ka, my cat, needs cat food and kitty litter. I... I need food! I called her first thing this morning and she said she would take me, but that she was planning on hanging, not working, at the gym. She works at the gym as a sales rep. I'm like... ok... well... when you're done working out, call me. 4pm and she telephones me to tell me that she has to shower and get dressed for a dinner party. Okay. I ask what time her dinner party is and she dances all around giving me a fucking answer. I'm like, dude... I don't have transportation or you could bet.your.ass that I would.not.be.calling.you. Meanwhile, she changes the subject and starts spilling her anxiety ridden thoughts about going to the gynecologist for the first time on Friday. She's 28.

I told her... look... we don't have time to waste if you have plans for the evening.

Her: Okay, I'll take you to the store, but I'm not taking you to walmart, because it's crazy out there.

Me: That's where I need to go.

Her: I'm not taking you there.

Me: Fine. don't worry about taking me anywhere. *I'm pissed by the way b/cuz I been waiting on her self-centered ass all damn day* I'll find another way to get there. Thanks for nothing.

I hung up on her. Gave her a taste of her own medicine. When shit don't go her way, she hangs up on people. She gets on my last damn nerve. I love her, but damn... she's so fucking self-centered. And I bet that's her calling now... lmao... brb...

Yup! That was her and, nope, I didn't answer it. I want her to know how it feels to be treated like she treats her family. She does me, dad, and mom like this. It's got to stop.

Anywho.... so... I ended up having to order a pizza, because as I thumbed thru my telephone to see if I have any friends that would be willing to transport me to the store... there was only one. And she's at work today, but she offered to drive me yesterday. I couldn't go, because I had volunteered to babysit my sick niece yesterday.

So... I can't wait to get my car back so I can go to the store and get me and my cat some food!

And... I'm going thru my phone, again... deleting people who aren't reliable.

Friends! How many of us have them?

AND....

Can I have a sister who is willing to cancel unimportant plans so that she can help her family? DAMN!

LIke I was going to take all.fucking.day!

It takes me an hour to shop for groceries. I make a list, and I know where to find every.damn.thing.

UGH!!!

I'm so fucking frustrated!

TOMORROW'S BLOG:
Married men and the internet. Why are your wives calling me?

GET O-U-T

2006-02-12T08:38:00.000-08:00

First of all, let me say that all men aren't men with balls. Not every man has the balls to talk to a woman he is attracted to OR not attracted to. And every man definitely does not have the balls to end a relationship maturely.

Last Saturday night I met someone I had been talking to on the phone, regularly, for a while. He drove up from Georgia and we hung out and seemed to have a decent time with one another. Although, I was not physically attracted to him, I was attracted to him, because I KNEW him. When he left, we decided to start a monogamous relationship.

I was real excited! Here I am thinking... this dude is really feeling me AND he wants to be with only me!

lmao... yeah right. He proved to be like every other damn man I've come across. BUT, he was worse. He was the same in that he wanted me to stay with him IF he made a mistake and cheated on me. LMAO... the way he talked about that... well... we'll get to that.

The first WRONG thing outta his mouth was about my weight. Due to him being Mr. Tr*ckm*st*r records, he's used to dating/fucking/watevering models, and he had the doubt that he might not be attracted to me because of my weight. I told him, "I'm not a model. And I know that you are used to skinny minnies or thin women with ass. I'm bigger than what you are used to. I'm a thick mama, and if you aren't attracted to that, let's move on and not waste each others' time."

HIM: "No, sweetheart. You're fat. It just hasn't gotten too bad yet."

ME: mouth gaped open in surprise... then laughing... "That's cool. At least you're honest."

At this moment, Im on fire. lol... I'm not skinny, but I promise I'm not fat either. I'm 5'5" and weigh around 190lbs. Most of the weight is carried in my DDD tiddies and my size 16 thighs and hips. But, everyone has their preferences.

So... after we meet Saturday night... I learn he's insecure.

Honesty really doesn't get you anywhere. Or at least, that's what I'm told, but I choose to be honest anyway... and I'm really starting to believe it got me somewhere.

I informed him, because he asked, when the last time it was I had sex. And, no, I'm not telling you nosy bamas. From there, I could just feel the insecurity. AND... every time we talked via telephone, he reminded me that he is insecure: "How do I know that when I'm away, you aren't going to want dick from this man?" Ya'll, I did everything I could, DAILY, to reassure this man that I was really feeling him, despite his "honesty" towards me, in order to make sure he knew that I would NOT seek sexual favors elsewhere! WTF But, by Thursday, I was tired of having to reassure him over and over and over and over and over again. And I told him, "Look, if this relationship is going to work, you're going to have to get over this insecurity thing with wateva it is, because I'm already getting sick of this shit."

THEN... this muthafucka tried to reverse the insecurity role! He decided to question me about my loyalty to my man! His question, "If I made a mistake and slept with someone, would you leave me?" WTF?

I'm immediately thinking... this mofo either HAS already slept with someone else OR he plans to sleep with someone else! Who asks somebody this shit? I told him flat out... if you cheat on me, I'm out. If you cheat on me, you show me that I'm not enough for you and that you're weak. You show me that you cannot commit to a woman ever. You show me that you're not loyal.

He says, "So, 10 years from now, if I make that mistake, you're just going to walk out on me and everything we have?"

Whoa dude... u just changed the entire situation. I don't know what I would do 10 years from now, but I'm not even promised tomorrow. Right now, I'm focused on the present and on us showing each other that we will be true to one another. We're building a foundation right now. And if you cheat on me during this phase, I'm leaving your ass. I told him all of that.

He starts talking about how all men cheat and that how a woman with heart stays with her man, no matter what. Sorry, I'd rather be alone than sitting at home wondering what the fuck you're out there doing.

Then he returns to his insecurity with me and the dude I last had sex with... I say nothing.

THEN he says, "I'm not sure I want to be in a relationship like this, Ashley."

Shit, me either. I don't want to have to reassure you EVERYDAMN DAY!

Then it clicked: People who are usually concerned with what the other person is doing is usually the one doing the dirt.

I didn't say anything.

He continued to call my mind feeble, because I refuse to believe EVERY man cheats on his wife... called me stupid for thinking that a man who is my friend doesn't want pussy... which isn't what I think at all. Talked mad shit about my friends. Reminded me that I'm fat and not his usual flavor.

He had the nerve to tell me that if he took me to the studio with him, his boys would laugh at me, because I'm fat and not his type. He said he would have to stand up for me over and over again,because they would be laughing and talking shit. You aren't my type. You're poor. Hell, you're one paycheck short of becoming homeless.

Ya know what? Then and there, I realized that I don't need a man who feels he has to belittle me and make me think that no other man is going to want me or be honest with me.

He had the nerve to tell me, "Ashley, sweetheart, if we break up, you're going to want to run back to me. Why? Because you're going to realize that you really had it good with me... You're going to realize that D*rtt*n was that mofo who was honest with you about everything! Ain't no other man going to be as honest as I am to you. You're going to come crying back to me."

Man, I laughed. I couldn't help it. My psychology degree kicked in. This mofo is seriously displaying delusions of grandeur! I bet his ass thinks he's some kind of god too!

So... he said he was going to come see me Saturday night, I was like, wateva. You already stood me up Monday and Tuesday night, so I'm really not expecting you to show up Saturday night. He told me that he had more patients to see Mon and Tues and that he would not be able to see me until the weekend. I didn't bitch or complian, I accepted it for what it was and was just going to let him do his thing. This way, I could see whether or not he was really into me.

Last night, Saturday night, he was supposed to be here around 7pm. I talked to him briefly Friday morning, and I called him on my lunch break, but had to leave a message. He has not returned my call since. And, he made it clear that he doesn't like a female who calls him all the time and can't wait for him to return her call... so... I showed him I'm not that type of female. Saturday rolled around... still hadn't heard from him. I'm not going to call him... why? I don't know... I was high Friday night and all day Saturday. So, 7:20pm rolled around and still nothing. So, I text'd him to ask him if he was still coming. Honestly, I didn't care if he showed or not. At 9:26pm, I received a return text saying, "I didn't hear from you all day Friday or today. No, I'm not coming. And I'm really not feeling this relationship anymore." I'm like, wat relationship? It's all about you, not us.

I text him back, "I had a feeling you weren't truly interested. You seem to have been trying to sabotage this relationship since day one. If you weren't feeling me, that's all you had to say."

His response: "That's why I'm ending this relationship now."

That's it. Chicken shit ended our whateva kind of relationship it was through a text message. And just in time too. I'm sure he wouldn't feel safe with me traveling to see my male best friend in ATL for my birthday weekend. LOL

I hope he will seek professional counseling, cuz I think he really needs it. I don't think he can trust a female, because of the lifestyle he lived for 16 years. He never tried to be in a committed relationship, and it seems like he doesn't know how to make a relationship work OR how to treat a REAL woman.

OH! And let me tell you how he was ready to stop talking to me on the day that we had our first conversation! He learned that I was an aggressive woman and that I was not going to let him talk to me any kinda way... His response to me setting him straight: "I don't want a black woman trapped in a white woman's body. I prefer white women. If I wanted a black woman, I'd go get one." WTF? Dude, I'm just being me. If you don't want an aggressive female, go find a stupid one.

Man... what a lesson learned.

Patience... never rush anything! If it's being rushed, it's not good for you. Even if you look over the bullshit.

Edit
I forgot to mention earlier that his last text to me said this: "Thank you for showing me that all women are alike. I just gave your Valentine to the girls in the mall."

I still didn't respond.

How High

2006-02-11T08:36:00.000-08:00

I should have typed this last night during the actual incident. However, I couldn't coordinate my legs to work together and it was madd difficult to hold up my head. So... You'll get the after affects AND the together me typing the actions of last night's incident.

My homeboy, Mr. Wright, decided to come visit last night from a city 2 hours away from me. We've known each other for 10 years, old college buds (no pun intended). I was talking to him via phone about this muthafucka I met and he came out with, "I'm coming down there this evening and we're gonna get right." I was like, "Cool!" Man, I haven't seen my homeboy in... well... to spend some QT with... in 4 years. I saw him briefly while traveling through his city on my way to see my ex last year. I must say... Mr. Wright is STILL looking MIGHTY RIGHT!~ I love having attractive male friends! When we go out together, females trip. I'm like, damn, you can get at him, hoe, we just kool. But, anywho...

So he and his homeboy swung thru around 9ish and it felt like old times, again. We reminisced about the good ole college days: smoking between classes, the clubs we went to, the different people we dated, etc. Then he pulled it out.

Wait wait wait. Before you muthafuckas go gettin' all like... he pulled THAT out? No... he did not. Can a female write a story without you people putting ya damn brains all in the gutter? How many things can someone be talking about when someone says, "He pulled it out." Hmmm... we could be talking about a gun, his keys, a picture, his phone, his dick etc. BUT... we're not talking about ANY of those things! So... just sit back and enjoy the damn story muthafuckas and heffas!

It was wrapped tightly in plastic wrapping and the cat even knew that this thing was going to be great!

Whoa whoa whoa!
We aren't talking about that either! Geez! Can a female finish her story without having to redirect you people throughout the story? Dang!

Ka, my cat, started swiping at this wonderfully wrapped thing like he couldn't wait to see it or smell it!

The scent of this thing... man... it was so strong that a person KNEW that she was going to have a DAMN good time within the next 20 minutes!

My homeboy unwrapped it, then rewrapped it in a dutchmaster and it was on!!!

Meanwhile, while he was taking care of the goods... my cat was trying to swipe at him to get a taste! I ended up having to hold Ka to keep him from destroying the goods!

He lit that blunt, and OMG! I felt high just smelling the mister miyagison burn! It was my turn and man... I was excited~!

Before you heffas and muthafuckas start thinking that I'm a weedhead, I'm NOT! And, no, that's not denial, bitches! I haven't smoked in... ummm... well... since before Thanksgiving!

I took my numeral uno puff, and *cough cough cough* damn *cough cough* that's some good *cough cough cough cough cough..... cough cough* shit! My homeboys started laughing at me... and my boy said, "I told you I was going to bring you that good shit!" And he did! Man...

So, we're watching the Olympics' opening ceremony and passing this bad muthafucka around, right? And it hit me... I was high as a muthafucka! Usually, I just get high, but not sky high! Man, I was FLOATING! Then, I noticed my homeboys were choking on that shit and they was as high as I was, but still smoking! When the blunt made it back to me... I was already thinking, "Shit, I don't wanna be coughing and struggling for air." So... I passed and said, "I'm good." My homeboy looked at me and said, "You high ain't you." I was like, " NOooooooooooooooooooo...... I'm muthafuckin high!" And started giggling... "HOly shit. Did I just giggle? Nah, fuck that. I'm not going to be that muthafucka who's laughing alone tonight." But I just couldn't help it!

Everything was fucking hilarious! I did my best just to giggle and keep the boisterous laughter that wanted to escape inside, but damnit... it wanted to get the fuck out! The man in the white suit, for those of you who watched the ceremony, with the heart, veins, and arteries on it... that bitch did me in! WTF was he wearing and why? Ya'll remember that muthafucka, Mr. Body, who used to have a television show? He dressed in that suit that had all the body parts on it. He reminded me of Mr. Body, dudes. LOL... ok... no more dudes. LOL That muthafucka... OMG... one of the guys started laughing, I was looking like WTF is that and started laughing, then my homeboy started laughing... but we controlled it. AFter we laughed, I giggled a few more times... I couldn't help it. It was the weed that was making me laugh! hahahahahahaha

Then, all of a sudden, during a commercial... Me: bwaaahahahahahahahahaa

My homeboy: Damn girl, you are high! bwahahahaha

His homeboy: bwahahaha

Then I abruptly stopped laughing.

Why? Cuz I could feel the weed making me lean. Yup! It was time to lean to the right. I couldn't hold up my head anymore. It was time to lay the fuck down on my right side.

As I laid down, I saw my cat tripping. Ka was fucking high too! I was like, "Damn muthafuckas! Ya'll ain't had to get the cat high, too!" But, they asked before they blew smoke in his face, so it was cool. Ka was actually quite entertaining.

My homeboy cracked me up. He asked me, with a serious face while smoking, "Is it okay if I blow smoke in your cats face and get him high?"

Me: bwahahaha... yeah.

So, I'm laying on the couch thinking, "I should really get up and go blog while I'm high. I'd love to see how it would turn out. Damn, what was that? Why the fugg is my leg twitching? Seriously, I should go blog. DAmn! That commercial was hilarious! But I'm not going to laugh, cuz I might not stop for hours. DAmn, this house is gonna stink tomorrow. WTF is Ka doing? Just close ya eyes freak and go to sleep. STop looking at everybody like you high! I seriously should go blog, but damn, I can't move. I'm so fucking high. This feels great. It's just what I needed. DAmn, my leg is twitching again! WTF! Just keep shaking it so ya boy don't think you trippin."

THEN... during one of the foreigners "speech" during the opening ceremonies, my boy says, "What language is he speaking?" And this muthafucka was serious!

I was like... "Fuck if I know. They in Italy."

But it wasn't the Italian muthafucka. So, I really didn't know.

So, we go back to a HUSHED silence, like the first grade teacher raised her damn hand for silence. Not a damn word was being said. We were all higher than a mofo!

My eyes kept closing, but I fought those muthafuckas for an hour, cuz I wanted to watch the fireworks and the torch display. Man, how those Italians lit that damn torch was amazing! I loved it!

As soon as the torch was lit, I hear my boy say, "Girl, I need your ass to be my pillow. This weed got me leaning."

I started laughing and was like, wateva man. Meanwhile, I had been leaning for an hour or longer.

When I woke up it was 7am. The last time I had looked at the clock it was 1:30am. I retreated to my bed thinking, damn I shoulda blogged about this shit!

So I did... I'm just not high right now. And if I was... damn... you wouldn't be able to read it, cuz it wouldn't be finished. I woulda passed out. And the words woulda been spelled wrong.

Thank me for waiting until I was sober to type this. However, I do believe that if I had typed this while high, it mighta been funnier. I seriously had some randumb ass thoughts last night.

Anywho... my food is here now... and I'm going to go eat... and then... welll... what did you just finish reading... yup... u know what I'ma do afterwards~!

DAmn... maybe one day, I'll get to chill with Method Man and Redman and experience the high feeling with them~!

.........

3:16pm
I'm high.
I don't know what time I wrote the previous. But it really feels like a long time ago.
For those who have ever experienced the sensation of mary-juh-wanna... u know how I'm feeling right now. Every time I look at the clock, it's only a minute later. No. seriously. it's a minute later. But damn... it feels like it's been a damn hour or so since the last time I looked at the clock. hmmm...
I watched The Grudge while me and my homeboys were hitting that blunt and I thought about BC. Man... I know you over there in Japan, and be careful. Don't even think about going near that neighborhood. Seriously, be.aware.of.your.neighborhoods. HOLLA
The Grudge went off and now I'm watching Blade. Man... ain't it funny how ur senses change when you high? Last night... and today... watching TV has been SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much more entertaining. Those commercials last night... man... I never laughed so hard! And for those of you that saw the Cadillac commercial with they cars sitting on top of those snowy mountains... or was it GMC... anywho... did you notice how the real trucks became model trucks and the snowy mountains were looking like cardboard? Nah.fahreal.dude. It happened. I am not tripping. It's almost like I'm paying too much attention to shit, but it's madd interesting.
Like, last night, I realized that that Ethiopian dude is at the Olympics by.him.self. He betta take home a Gold or his country is gonna whoop his ass AND he gonna be emburassed.

Since when does Bermuda have winters to where they can ski and all that other wintry sport ish. Seriously... WTF would someone from Bermuda wanna participate in the Winter Olympics? I bet they freezing and are thinking, "DAmn... it's cold as some testicles in the Atlantic in the FALL! What was WE thinking coming to play in some damn snow?"

Anywho... And, Ladies, and gay gents, did ya'll see that fine ass liteskin pretty muthafucka from Senegal? OMG FAh real tho.... holy shitake mushrooms! If Africa wasn't in the beginnings of war, shoot, I would take my happy ass to Senegal to find this mofo and get his green card for him! Whoa... yah... I would.sure. He's beautimus! And we would have some pretty ass babies! HOLLA! Thank you!

My cat won't have a thing to do with me right now. I blew some smoke in his face to get him high and he ran off. I hope he's still alive. He's prolly high as a muhfucka right now and don't know what to do with himself (damn I can't spell himself... that took like 8 errrors). Seriously... I bet that damn cat is thinking: "Wat the fuck is going on? I'ma go to sleep... nah... I don't want my pet human to think I'm a punk"

Speaking of punk... Why is it that men always, ALWAYS, seem to be able to control themselves when they are high, but we damn females laugh our fucking asses off? Even over something that's NOT funny! We find the humor in stupid shit and start laughing, and you men, I know, are over there thinking.. damn... WTF is wrong with her? She trippin! DAmn. She high as a muhfucka! Men... how the fuck do ya'll stay so damn calm when you high and don't lose control of ur laughter? Please... share your secret! I don't think it's fair for you to be punkin' us ladies like that! Making us look like we can't hold our weed! I can hold that muhfucka! Right between my index finger and thumb to bring that blunt to my mouth to take that puff!

My favorite high moment:
2000 Summer
My homegirl and I are on our way home from the club. She got some weed up in her Ford Ranger (waving furiously at Kim) and we rolled that shit up in some paper. We're smoking on the way home, she's driving. We already tipsy from drinking, but we needed kryptonite, cuz we wanted to go right to sleep when we got home. Okay, I was drunk and didn't want my room to spin. DAMN! Well, we like 5 minutes from my house, getting ready to turn down my old street and I don't know how I got started, but I started flowing (rapping for those of you who don't understand) about my girl driving! She's giggling and I stop... cuz I don't even know I'm flowing, I thought I was just talking... and she looks at me and says, "Nah, don't stop. You was flowing and that shit sounded good!" I looked at her and said, "You high." And I started flowing about her driving and being high. I don't remember how that shit went, but it was something like:
Kim and I driving down Kings HWY
She just ran off the street
And now we dippin and diving
In the grass and to the pavement.

I know you high girl
But don't forget my turn
Girl
I'm ready to go home
Girl
And watch my eyelids burn
Girl

see... I told you it was whack. Nah, seroiusly... I don't remember what I said. I just remember being in her truck and words that I said like wheel, turn, blinker, grass, etc.

ANYWHO!

For you fellow smokers, you know what I mean.

DAmn.

I'ma stop now, cuz I don't even remember what I talked about before the weed experience... Plus...
I might be making fool of myself.
AND...
I needed to pay my bills today, but then I got high.
I was going to make me a meatloaf for dinner, but then I got high.
DAmn... what else have I just pushed aside, because I got high... *courtesy of Afroman: Because I Got High*

I'm just saying

I'm high , damnit... don't listen to me.

HornyScopes: I'ma PISCES!

2006-01-30T08:03:00.000-08:00

PISCES
Feb 20 - March 20
Ruling Planet: NEPTUNE
The God in charge of delicious dreams, dangerous deceptions and sexual fantasies

Sexually speaking, Pisces is putty in your hands. Anything you want, anything, is only a question away. If you're looking for someone who will go the extra mile to discover all your secret moan zones, then Pisces is for you! When a typical Piscean makes out, it's an act of romance rather than pure pleasure. Pisces is the sign of love itself. They are so romantic and want satin sheets and candles, poetry and a full moon. Music also gets them in the mood. One of their least appetizing traits is their ability to become very, very jealous. Sometimes they are so scared of losing the fairy-tale romance that they ruin the happy ending themselves.

FAVE POSITION
Pisces is all about Oral affections!

BEST SEX TOY
A copy of the Kama Sutra, since your fish is into almost anything

PISCES MALE IN BED
He is romantic and has the reputation of being a womanizer. The girlfriend of a Piscean man should keep her eye on the ball as he can be a bit flighty.But he does make an excellent lover. He's from the old school that sex should be an almost out of body experience, and if he's showering his attentions on you, you're in for a hell of a good ride!

PISCES FEMALE IN BED
She needs romance. It's the very air that she breathes. She needs to be held gently and whispered sweet nothings to but when it comes to between the sheets action, she's never happy doing the same ol', same ol' when she knows there are more exciting options at hand.

THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON PISCES
The Pisces Zesty-zone is their feet! If you want to make Pisces your Love Slave, start with a warm, scented footbath and soak their feet for 10 minutes. Then sit in front of them, cross-legged, and rub their feet firmlythrough the water. Use kneading motions that run from their ankles to the tips of their toes. After 5 minutes, get a scrub brush and clean their tootsies with lots of TLC, dry them off and lightly massage peppermint oil all over their feet, paying close attention to between their toes. Pisces REALLY gets off on this! Once oiled up, gently kiss each toe, one by one. Then let your tongue take over and you're in baby!!!

I don't have a link for this, because it was sent to me via email. If you'd like a copy of UR HORNYSCOPE, email me and I'll hook ya up!

CHANGE IS A COMING

2006-01-25T18:01:00.000-08:00

I've been working on me for the past few months. Since my sister's death, I've been questioning a lot of things in my life, and I have been overwhelmed with decisions and changes I Need to make within my life. I've been attending church, and have commited a lot of things to God.

I'm so overwhelmed with things that I'm losing focus and I'm scared.

I need your help. I need those of you who have a relationship with our maker to pray for me. I need you to pray that God will guide me in the right direction, take the fear of change from me, and help me accomplish the goals I am going to share with you.

I talked with one of my BEST FRIENDS last week, and he requested that I make a list of goals that I want to accomplish this year. I made a list of my top 5 goals that I want to accomplish, 3 short term goals for the year, and an important extra goal. Thanks Kamal... u mean so much to me!

Last night, Kamal, and I talked for a minute about my overwhelming decision that is currently weighing heavy on my heart.

My brother-in-law has offered to make the kids' playroom into an apartment for me so that I can help him take care of the kids and the house. He will pay me $800 a month, which is only half of what I bring home a month right now. I would have no bills, except my student loan, car note and insurance, school, and cell phone. He would be furnishing food, cable, and electricity. I have to give up my privacy and a lot of my weekend freedoms. I love my niece and nephew with all I got, and I know I'm the closest thing they have to their mother and a mother figure. On Friday, I'm traveling to the school to learn how much it will cost me to take classes AND to find out how long the waiting list is for nuclear medicine technology. I know I have to take 2-3 of the prerequisites... but their going to be a cinch, because I took them in college, but made a D in the course cuz I didn't apply myself like I should have then. ANYWHO! I know I want to make this career change, because once I do... I'll "BE IN THE MONEY". I feel like the right decision is to pack all my belongings, put them in storage, and move in with my sister's family. They NEED me, and I know this. I'll also have to find a part time gig for extra money.

It's so scary, though! I've been living alone since forever, and there are going to be sooo many changes within me. I'm about to grow up a whole hell of a lot! Just when you KNOW u grown, you grow up some more! Doing this will take a lot of my freedoms... man... am I going to miss those! God, I hope you know what you're doing! There's about to be a lot of changes my way! Quitting my job, moving in with family, going BACK to school, and changing my life to get closer to God.

Please pray that I make the right decision and I do right by my sister's family!

To the goals...
Please pray that I will accomplish each goal within the set time frame, and that it will please God. These are weaknesses that I want to turn to strengths, and these are things that I feel will help me get closer to God and better myself at the same time.

Top FIVE Goals For The Year

1. Pay Off All Credit Card Debts.

I have three credit cards. They are all maxed out. I am close to $3000 in debt and I have collection agencies writing me. I am going to write each collection agency and send them a certain amount of money each week for each bill. Please pray that I am able to pay these debts off within 2 years, starting with the first payment no later than April.

2. Send Transcripts to Midlands Tech so that I Can Start School.

I'm a procrastinator. I will put things off as long as I can, and this is not a good thing. Please pray that I will delete this flaw from my system. It tends to keep me from talking to God and getting other important things accomplished within my life.

3. Start Classes For Career Change

Another procrastination. The sooner I start, the sooner I can make the money.

4. Workout Daily

Yet, ANOTHER procrastination. I want to better my moods, my appearance, and my soul. When I do workout, I feel better about myself and my self-confidence soars. However... I haven't worked out in a long time, and with all the stress, I've gotten worse. I divulge in comfort foods and talk myself out of working out by telling myself I will get up in the AM and hit the gym before work. I know damn well I am NOT going to get up that early! So... I tell myself, "I'll start tomorrow... I got this and that going on today." Guys and Gals, if you have any suggestions, PUHLLEEEAAASE send them my way, and PLEASE pray that I will become sooooooooo motivated that I will workout daily to improve myself FOR God and that I can glorify Him through improving my health AND soul.

5. Spend More Time With Family AND Friends.

I love and adore my family AND my friends. I don't get to see them as often as I would like, but I do know that those that I am not able to see often, I need to pick up the phone more. Life is too short and I need to enjoy every moment I have with all of my loved ones.

THREE Short Term Goals

1. Find a part time gig to help with school and finances.

I can NOT afford school AND all my bills with my current job alone, NOR will I be able to when I move in with my sister's family. Starting next month, I will be getting rid of my cable in order to have an extra amount of money a month. I've lived without it before, I can do it again. Please pray that God will help me find the right job AND that He will assist me with paying for school and finances. Pray that I will listen as God guides me and that I will NOT procrastinate with knowing what I need to do.

2. Workout daily to lose 20lbs by May

And, yes, I want to continue to work out to maintain my health and figure after I lose this weight. Please just pray for motivation and self-discipline.

3. Attend Choir Rehearsals and Church weekly

I have a hard time, sometimes, making myself drive from work to choir rehearsal each Wednesday. Like tonight, I did not go to rehearsal. I made the excuse that I have to work Sunday and won't be there to sing, so I came home to watch Jamie Foxx's show... WHICH By the way WAS AWESOME! I know this did NOT please God, and I'm going to have to do some major apologizing. Sunday mornings... aren't as bad as they used to be. I'm able to wake up and make myself go to church to worship, praise, and glorify God. HOWEVER, there are those rainy mornings that make me wanna sleep past 10, when I know I gotta be up at 9, cuz I gotta be at church at 10:30, because I'm in the choir. This isn't too tough, BUT it does take some self-motivation. Once I move in with my sister's family, it won't be... the kids love church. They wanna go when their Dad doesn't want to go, AND they wanted to go when their Mom didn't or couldn't attend. AND they went. God truly is amazing! This goal will help me to get closer to God through fellowship with my Christian family.

AND MY IMPORTANT EXTRA GOAL

TO GET CLOSER TO GOD!

Easier said than done with all these temptations out here. I think the prayer request for this one is obvious. I just want to glorify Him and make him Happy with everything I do. Why? Because when this short life is over, I want to see my Maker's face. That will be one glorious day! When things get tough, it's difficult to remember that we are living this life for the eternal life.

I know this post was long. If you read all of it and made it to this point, Thanks!

Ya'll didn't know I could get all serious like that, hunh? Mortal life is rough!

In the words of my boy Lex, "Life's a bitch and then you die", but I don't want my life to end in a casket. I know there is more to it than that. And recently, I feel as if I have been existing and not living.

Wednesday Night Television

2006-01-23T15:38:00.000-08:00

Ok...

What's on the line up for Wednesday night television?

Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

At 8pm, on NBC, we have a new show with Jamie Foxx. All black cast and he refuses to cast a white person upon NBC's request. NBC is NOT advertising this show. You ask why? Man, I don't know.

Maybe NBC is a racist station.
Maybe they're pissed because Mr. Unpredictable refused to cast a white person.
Maybe they want the show to fail, because it's an all African-American cast.

Rumor has it that they want the show to fail. Why would they want the show to fail? Please go back to the three reasons listed for NBC NOT advertising the show. Thank you.

You all know that at 8pm on FOX, we got the all superior American Idol, also on Wednesday night. How NBC would choose to preview a show that they would want to succeed against American Idol is beyond me. Yes, I like watching American Idol, but give me something MORE entertaining and brainstorming than watching people make a fool of themselves and trying to become the next Clay Aiken or Kelly Clarkson.

So... why am I telling all of you this?

Because I'm hoping that some of you will say the hell with American Idol Wednesday night at 8pm and give Jamie Foxx's show a chance. I would love to do this, BUT I have previous commitments that stand in my way of being able to watch the show on Wednesday.

So...
I'm expecting all of you, who DO watch television AND have cable or even rabbit ears on top of ya television AND receive NBC to tune in and watch.

When, where, and why?

Wednesday night, 8pm sharp! Better yet, at 7:55pm. Please do not be on CP time!
In front of your television!
Tune into NBC!
Support Jamie Foxx and the rest of his cast who is trying to make a difference... LIKE MLK!

Playing Catch UP

2006-01-09T16:57:00.000-08:00

Aight... this post is going to be a breakdown of what happened New Years and the past week.

I'm starting to feel the urge to blog, again. I think that with the holidays and grieving my sister, I wasn't motivated to do a whole lot. It was all I could do to keep my clothes washed and my apartment tidy.

New Years
*blowing noise maker*
I drove to Richmond Thursday night after work. I prolly could have made it all the way to my destination, but damnit, I was sleepi as hell. I stayed at this.... lol... ok.

Ya'll know those motels you see in scary movies? The Bates Motel, side of Route 66 motels, the motel from Joy Ride, etc. Well, I stayed in one of those ya ass is gonna get killt motels Thursday night. Hell, I didn't wanna spend an ass, a leg, and an arm on a room, cuz I was going to be spending more money over the weekend AND I had to get my ass back to SC. I walked into the King size bed smoking room *ahem.... I do NOT smoke* and thought, "It's just for one night." I leapt onto the bed and wished I hadn't. THAT mofo was harder than concrete. I didn't even get a bounce back from that muthafucka. I told that bed... "Look, bed. If we gonna get along tonight, I'ma need u to soften up." LMAO... that bitch stayed harder than a damn jolly rancher. But I couldn't suck it all night long *LaffyTaffy*... LOL... sorri... couldn't NOT do it. So... I wrestled with that damn concrete ass bed all night. I think I got a total of 2 hours sleep in that hard ass bed. On top of that, the heat was dry as fuck AND it got hot as a damn sauna up in that mofo. I ended up having to curl up in the sheet and not have any heat on, cuz I couldn't get the temperature right. I don't sleep under motel/hotel comforters cuz they never wash those mothafuckas and u don't know what the muthafucka before you was doing on that comforter, much less do you know what you might be catching from that nasty muthafucka. Anywho... I made it thru the night.

I woke up the next morning and traveled on to my destination... Springfield, VA.

Thursday night... I contacted a fellow blogger to let the person know that I was close to the area. We made plans to make sure we got together before I left town. I love this person's voice. It's all deep and when this person is tired, the voice gets raspy and all sexy. BAck to this later.

I went to shoot pool Friday night and kicked it with my peeps.

Saturday...
We went to lunch at Fridays. After lunch, we went to see Fun With Dick and Jane. OMG! That movie was hilarious!!! Especially if you grew up reading the Dick and Jane books. I laughed my ass off... but still have plenty to go 'round. hahaha
After the movie... well... some I have to leave out cuz it gets kinda personal. We'll jump to that night.
I shower, dress, and leave with my peoples for a house party. Man, I'm thinking this party is going to be in the DC area. LMFAO. Let's just say I had a good time, but did NOT know I'd be traveling to fucking bumfuck Egypt nothing to do Damascus, MD for a house party. I'm just glad there was lots of wine and champaigne... AND a hot tub. After the ball dropped AND I got my new years kiss, I was off to the hot tub with my wine and champaigne. Man... it's NOTHING like getting fucked up in a hot tub and being able to see all the stars in the clear sky above you.

OH... before the hot tub... we set off our rounds of fireworks.

I guess it was around 2AM when we traveled back to VA. I slept like a baby.

Sunday, I woke up... feeling great, feeling fine. Later that afternoon, I started feeling sick cuz I hadn't eaten. Where'd I go u ask? I took my ass to Popeyes and got me a breast and wing meal. Scarfed that shit down. HOWEVA... while I was standing in line waiting to order, I could feel my blood sugar level dropping bit by bit. As I stepped up to the register, I was seeing stars and I knew I was 'bout to pass the fuck out in the middle of the floor. So... I ordered a big ass drink and filled it with some damn fruit punch. I sucked that down so I could get my sugar level back to normal AND so Popeyes wouldn't wanna call EMS on me. I hate those fuckers. LOL No... I am NOT a damn diabetic. Sometimes, if I don't eat right... my sugar drops... just like your's will, dumbass. So... returned to the apartment, scarfed down my chicken and red beans and rice AND the biscuit, then started feeling sleepi. Yup... I took my New Year's Day nap. I slept for 2-3 hours and was upset, because I had missed the kickoff of the Redskins game. Howeva... when I woke up... I was ill. Seriously. I was sick. I was hotter than hell, had the chills, my entire body ached, and I had a sore throat. My friend traveled to the store and bought me some chicken noodle soup and nyquil. I ate 4-5 bites of the soup and was done. I had NO appetite. I started crying, because I didn't wanna get sick up there! This was my party time, damnit! AND... I was crying because I felt soooooooooooooooooo bad. I wanted to call my mommy, BUT I didn't. I decided to be a big girl this time. Around 9:30, I took my Nyquil and went to bed like a good little sick girl.

I woke up Monday feeling a tad bit better. I took a shower and brushed my teeth, hoping this would make me feel LOTS better, but all it did was wear me out. I crashed back on the bed, feeling like I was going to faint. I slept all day Monday. I woke up Tuesday feeling 92%. I showered and packed and felt as if I could travel home. I really had no choice. I had to return to work on Wednesday. I got home safe and sound.

I didn't get to meet my blogger pal, but that's in the works. Ain't that right, Mister? heehee You know damn well what the deal is! hahaha

I did bring in the new year with a fella. That's all I'm telling you right now. I don't wanna jinx it, plus... it ain't none of your fucking bidness, buddi!

At least it was ONE man I kissed on NewYears compared to someone I heard that kissed 20 different girls. LOL Actually... I think it was 4... lol... yes, I'm jealous.

HAHAHAHA

SIKE!

I'm not the jealous type.

So, I'm back home. Returned to work. And all the local fuckers are back to sweating me. Man... I wish those beads of sweat would roll off of me and stay the fuck offa me. I'm basically NOT talking to them... Why, you ask? hahaha

All because of my weekend in VA/DC.

Look for more from me... I'm really feeling it right now!

Plus I have more man news!!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR FUCKERS!

CHECK ON WHAT?

2005-12-28T17:09:00.000-08:00

I know all of you have heard Beyonce's new single... Check On Me... Ok... I'm diggin the jam. It's my song for 2005. AND... it WILL carry into 2006.

Well... I watched making of the video... of this song.

AND... I was REAL disappointed.

Don't get me wrong. It had it's ass shaykage and ya bootyhoes to watch. The females even get some eye candy in this one with Slim Thug. Howeva... Why can't artists be MORE original with their shit?

You got artists rewriting ole skool, cuz they can't come up with they own shit. If you can't be creative... get out the bidness.

What am I talking about with Beyonce's video?

Well... since all the awards shows and all the claims of other females being the top sex symbol since Janet... seems like B is appearing to be a bit intimidated.

Miss B. symbolized three, make that FOUR, different female artists in this ONE video.

1. Lil Kim
2. Mariah Carey
3. Shakira
4. J.Lo

In one take, Beyonce has her hair... AHEM... I mean her horses' hair cornrowed like Lil Kim AND she got on the sunglasses LiL Kim had on in "Put Ya Lighters Up". B is even dressed like L.K. USED to dress. I say USED to... cuz she HAS cleaned up her act just a teensy bit. I guess being locked up and chased around to be munched on may have scurred her a lil bit.

Another take... Beyonce has her hair all wavy and flimsy like Mariah. She even has on the shirt that looks like a dress in the video. WTF? Since Mariah got her boob job AND a personal trainer, I can't lie... the bitch is FOINE! But, damn, B... you's fine too!

THEN... there's the take where she is kneeled on the floor with a J.LO outfit on. She's got her hair straightened AND pulled back like J.Lo does her hair. THEN... she pulls the move where she's dancing while kneeled and rubbing up her thigh.

THIS one took the cake! THIS hoe decided to curl her hair up JUST LIKE SHAKIRA'S! She is moving like Shakira and is dressed like Shakira from the VMA's. *SMH*

I just don't understand. Be you!

Beyounce, if your seemingly insecure phat ass is reading this... BEYADAMNSELF!

I know Sean C. is intimidating to be with, but DAMN! Do ya own thing! You were before him, you will while you're with him - HOPEFULLY - and you will after that muhfukka. You've been selling records for a while now. No need to feel intimidated by the other females in the business that WILL and ARE giving you a run for your money! heehee

If I had a personal trainer... I'd be a mix of JLo and Shakira.

just my thoughts tho

Tis the Season

2005-12-25T16:22:00.000-08:00

For me, it's MERRY CHRISTMAS! BUT... for those of you that do not celebrate Christmas, I'ma be nice and... nah... fuck that... I believe in ONE thing... and I'ma leave it at that!

So... MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I'm not jolly, but I'm not scrooge either. I made it through the holiday, but missed the hell out of my sister.

Anywho....

I have a lot to blog about.... just haven't had the will or the want to sit in front of this screen to really type what's been happenin!

I hope all of you had a GREAT Christmas and that your New Year will be prosperous!!!

ONE LOVE!

Weeding Out The Garden, AGAIN

2005-11-27T21:38:00.000-08:00

Until we find that special someone, we are left to weed out our gardens in order to leave room for that special flower/tree/wateva you want it to be to grow!

Sometimes it takes a person to be nosey as fuck in order to get rid of certain weeds. Why? Because you have trusted that person to tell you the truth, yet the stink of a rat is always lingering.

Well, today, that person gave me access to be nosey. At first, I wasn't going to do it. I was going to respect the fact that this person was giving me access into their life in order to view someone this person always talks about.

Well, my curiosity got the best of me. AND, I learned that this person is actually still messing with someone he swore he has not been messing with, lately. Lately meaning as in the past two months. And for the past year, I believed this person was always real with me, and would always be truthful. Why? cuz I have NEVER hid anything from this person.

It hurts, because I feel as if I have been this person's fool for a year now. All I asked this person to do was be my friend, be my confidant, and to keep it real with me. This person always gave me his word that he would be real and give me the answers I requested. I don't know what made him lie about certain things. Whether it be because he didn't want to lose me or wateva, it doesn't matter now. He's lost me. Period.

As I sit to type this, he's calling me right now. And what I really wanna do is pick up the phone and bless his ass out. BUT! I won't. I believe that ignoring him and not answering his calls will be sign enough that he's placed himself out of the potential garden. And all he had to do was keep it real at all times. No, he wasn't my man, so he never ever had to keep anything from me that I questioned him about. We always talked about keeping it real with one another. We always reminded each other when we asked about our "personal lives" that we didn't have to lie to one another... and that helped to "keep things real" between us. Well, so I thought.

Whether it be a close friend, a family member, ya man, ya woman, ya whomeva.... when they lie, it hurts. Lying feels like someone placing their hands over your nose and mouth to keep you from breathing. It seems like a lie always takes life off of one's soul.

It's been a great ride! Thanks for the adventure. Seems like all the good things always come to an end. I hope that you will always be happy, that you will find the girl of your dreams, and that you will find success in the coming years! One Love!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2005-11-23T09:23:00.000-08:00

I haven't reallyl felt like blogging lately, but I wanted all you to know that I'm alive.

I'm traveling to the parents place for Thanksgiving via my sister. Then traveling back with my bro-in-law.

I hope all of you have a safe, joyful, and love filled Thanksgiving Holiday!

BTW...
Turkey is good for you!
This morning on the Today Show, I saw a story about a man who saved an elderly couple with his frozen Turkey. The elderly couples' car caught fire in the shopping mall's parking lot. They were trapped in the burning car. A man exited the store and noticed the burning car and saw the people inside. He ran and threw his turkey through the window in order to rescue the elderly couple. I wonder if they ate the turkey after the car was extinguished? hmmm...

At least we know turkey can save lives.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!

Weekly Television Lineup

2005-11-13T20:13:00.000-08:00

Sunday
Afternoons: During football season, it's football. Why? 'Cause I like it, I love it, I want some more of it! I try so hard, I can't rise above it. Don't know what it is about that pushing and shoving, but I like it, I love it, I want some more of it." ~Tim McGraw
Evenings: 60 Minutes or a movie on demand
Nights: 9pm - Rome on HBO... something about watching how the Romans MIGHT have lived, AND "history" of Julius Caesar as entertainment. True or not... it's entertaining. Although, I could live without some of the violence and sexual events in the show.
10pm - Gray's Anatomy... I LOVE IT! Romance in the workplace (It just does NOT work), Interracial relationships, saving lives, and friendship. I'm liking it more than ER.
11pm - I used to watch the local news. BUT... NOW... The Boondocks is on Cartoon Network, so I get my dose of Huey on Sunday nights before I go to bed. Racial issues, Issues in the entertainment world, and Urban life... man... entertainment... and cahmuhdee.

Monday
In the mornings (all week), while I'm dressing for work, I watch the Today's Show. It's just interesting. Sometimes I learn something, other times it's just entertainment.
Evening into Night:
7pm: local news
8pm: It stays on UPN until 10pm
First I watch One on One.... There's no more Flex, BUT... reflecting back on what it is like to live with the man you're dating, what college life SHOULD be like, AND struggling to make those dollars... I can relate.
Then it's All Of Us... Entertaining and somewhat enlightening about marriage, divorce, and how a child MIGHT get caught up in the mix... sometimes it's pure bullshit though.
At 9 I'm watching Half N Half... It's about step sisters that have a decent relationship and share the same father. One sister has benefited from Papa's dinero, and the other sister reminds me of me... Independent, goal oriented, and not stressing the small stuff, but having troubles in the man department. I laugh a lot during this show.
9:30 it's on with Joan, Lynn and the girlfriends. Definitely a female show. We relate through the characters' pains, love flings, relationship struggles, divorces, strained friendships, employment conflicts, and financial struggles. And we, females, can relate, because we're constantly relying on our girlfriends when we don't wanna involve the family.
After that... the television is either off or I'm watching music videos.

Tuesdays
I watch the local news at 6 and 7.
Then I watch Nip/Tuck at 10 pm. Why? Pure entertainment. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry, and sometimes I'm left aloof. The bad thing is, I think, that this stuff might actually be happening somewhere in the world. And, if I remember correctly, this show is actually based on real plastic surgeons.

Wednesdays
I'm at church all evening, and when I get home, it's off to bed.

Thursdays
Routine news watching (6-7:30)
At 9 I'm watching CSI and at 9:30 am flipping back and forth from CSI to CUTS(UPN). CSI: I enjoy watching the mystery of unfolding who the dead body belongs to and/or finding out who killed the person. CUTS: It's about a barbershop in Baltimore, MD. I watch any and everything that is based in B'more. Why? Cuz I used to live up there, I miss it, and it's a way to connect to B'more. I also watch CUTS cuz of the FINE ass man... I don't know his name, still... but it ain't M.H... who appears on CUTS, and he also was the main character in a movie on BET.

Fridays
If I'm home... the only thing I watch is GhostWhisperer. It's a fairly new show, and I'm enjoying the show. It's about a female who is able to see the dead who has not yet crossed over, because of something that is keeping them earthbound. She helps the soul to come to peace with what is keeping them earthbound, so that the soul can cross over. There are some episodes that are just strange and eery, and others that will make you like, "awww".

Saturdays
Mornings: All cartoons. I watch too many to name.
It's usually a movie kinda day. Except during football season! Then it's all football!!!!!!!! BTW... Did ya'll hear about my Gamecocks? We BEAT Florida!!!! wooooooowhooooooo!!!!! And I was at the game for the entire winning game! It was terrific!!! It seemed like a dream, and the fans didn't leave the stadium until 10-15 minutes AFTER the game ended! Except the Gator fans... they were leaving at the beginning of fourth quarter. How dedicated they are! But I'll tell you what... ain't nothing like some fried gator meat on a Saturday afternoon! Man... what a rush! We're looking at the Peach Bowl. We gotta play Clemson, OUR RIVAL, THE STATE RIVAL, this Saturday, AND we r hoping that Kentucky will beat Georgia so we can go to the SEC championship game! I swear, I'm still hype! Go Cocks! *did ya'll know that SC is the only state that can say cocks on the radio and television, because of the University of South Carolina's mascot: Cocky, Gamecocks*

PAY ME, then I'll consider

2005-11-11T13:17:00.000-08:00

So... My coworkers are moving to a new site today.

Tuesday's staff meeting consisted of the request of the employees coming in today, Veteran's Day, a holiday, to help move to the new site.

If you seriously thought that MY ASS would go in on a fucking holiday to help move without pay, you've lost ya eva loving mind... is what I was thinking the entire meeting.

Then these fukkers had the NERVE to pass around a sign up sheet for those who wanted to volunteer THEIR HOLIDAY to move. Who the fuck wants to move on a holiday? I noticed when the sheet got around to the person who started the pass (she was sitting next to me), everyone had signed up except me and my immediate coworker.

Guess who didn't give a flying fuck?

YUP!

U guessed it! ME! Miss A.

If they were moving on a day that I work, cool, I'll help move. But, you're gonna offer me comp time in a day off that I can take NOW compared to you paying me time and a half to help move? No thanks.

Then the icing on the cake is announced.

For those of you that aren't working on Friday, please come in on Sunday to set up your work station so that we can be in working order on Monday.

My thought: "Hell no!"

And I'm not going. They aren't going to pay me to go in to set up my work space, so I'll be on time Monday morning, set up my shit, and go to work.

Seriously, if they were going to pay me, then I would have at least considered going in on MY GIVEN BY THE AGENCY DAY OFF to help these dumbasses who don't ever acknowledge me move. The funny thing is... THEY are moving to a new site, not me. I'm moving down the sidewalk and they are moving across town. YOU MOVE YOUR SHIT! I'll move my little stuff on Monday if need be.

Meet Ka

2005-11-06T14:59:00.000-08:00

Thursday night I was pulling into the complex parking lot and I watch this kitten run under one of the large SUVs in the parking lot. I got out my car and walked towards my apartment, then I kicked something. I looked down and it was the kitten. He meowed at me, and I tried to ignore him so he would go away. He proceeded to walk around me and rub up against me. As I would walk, he would scurry ahead of me and stand in front of me where my next step would be placed. He was so little, so I was careful as I walked.

As I proceeded down the stairs to my apartment, he would hurry ahead of me, keeping me from taking my next step.

As I unlocked my apartment door and cracked it to walk in, I looked behind me and around me to see if the kitten was still around. He wasn't. I proceeded to enter my apartment, shut the door, and lock the door. As I turned to walk thru my apartment, I notice this upright black and white spot on my floor.

Mr. Kitten had entered my apartment ahead of me... sneaky lil bastid!

He downed some cheese, drank some water, then I tried to get him to go back outside, but he wouldn't leave.

Friday I traveled to Target with my gift cards and purchased a litter box, kitty litter, litter liners, cat food, toys, and a 3-n-1 tick and flea collar. While at work... his name just popped into my mind. Ka, pronounced Kah.

Ka is all black with white boots on his back paws, white toes on his front (except one toe where he has this marble effect), and a white goatee. As I type this, he is on the desk ledge of my computer desk and tries to keep me from typing. He's batting at my fingers as if he wants all of my attention. He's like a lil puppy. He follows me everywhere I go. When I'm sitting on the couch, he has to be laying near me so he can have a paw on me... that is IF he is NOT curled up on top of me. He chose me... for what reason, I don't know. BUT... I am going to keep Ka. He's affectionate and so am I.

I really prefer to have a dog, but I don't have the time to give one. AND they are MUCH more expensive. Cats are easy. You can leave cats home alone, and they can take care of themselves. You don't have to take a cat outside to pee or poop. They actually USE a litter box. Just gotta leave plenty of food and water.

So... I'm taking donations to help Ka get neutered, and I'm debating on whether or not to have him declawed. PLUS... I gotta get him shots and ish IF he needs them. He doesn't scratch, he hasn't thrown up, and his bowels are moving VERY well. And he loves to play. He just doesn't play with the damn balls I bought for him. I'll just take them back.

So.... Fellow Bloggers... welcome to the next chapter of my life. I have rescued a kitten. He's now my pet. I've named him Ka. I now have a NEW responsibility. WHAT is the world coming to?

HALLOWEEN MEMORIES

2005-10-31T08:36:00.000-08:00

Simple title... simple post.

Tonight I'm riding over to my sister's house to help her children, and my mother, with Halloween. Watching my niece and nephew celebrate Halloween over the years brings back memories each year. This year my niece is going to be a fairy with two of her friends. My nephew is going to some friends house to set off fireworks and have a blazing bonfire.

Yesterday afternoon, my niece and I started carving a pumpkin at 5:30pm. We didn't finish till 6:30pm. I didn't know carving a pumpkin was so tedious! But, it was a lot of fun! The pumpkin now looks like a Japanese jack-o-lantern. It's eyes are slanted like a Japanese persons eyes, and I promise you they look NOT a like. LOL Each eye is very unique. LOL I didn't have a pumpkin carving kit, so I was stuck with a steak knife, a spoon to gut the pumpkin, and a pen to draw the face. Our pumpkin is pretty cool looking! I'll post a pic just as soon as I figure out how to do that! My niece wanted to carve TWO pumpkins, but ummm... ONE was enough.

After we gutted the pumpkin and carved it, we toasted the seeds and ate some of them. We have some leftover for today! I love pumpkin seeds.

I keep remembering the year I dressed up as a clown. I was in the 1st or second grade. My costume consisted of a white shirt underneath green with white polka dotted suspenders. My big ole clown hat was also green with white polka dots. My mom took her time and put my makeup on: white base makeup, big red lips, happy eyes with big red circles on my cheeks. I even had the big green clown shoes. *hmmm... maybe this is why I'm scared of clowns*

Let's remember, I'm scared to death of clowns!!!! I dressed up as a clown, but I never looked in the mirror while I was in costume.

My family and I attended a Halloween costume party at the local golfclub. We bobbed for apples, played other games, had our fortunes told, and participated in the costume contest. Let's remember, I had bobbed for apples, so my clown makeup was ruined. So, I'm standing in the midst of all these people who took the time to dress up and apply makeup to make their costume even more unique, and.....

DRUM ROLL PLEASE!!!!

I WON THE CONTEST!!!!!

I enjoy Halloween. It brings out the kid in me, like other holidays. There were years where I dressed up as a witch (with long green fingernails), a dead cheerleader, and other things. In 2003, I drove down from Baltimore to take my niece trick-or-treating, because two weeks later I was having major surgery, I had cancer, I didn't wanna miss out on anything! I even dressed up to take her trick or treating. I wore a red, long haired wig, a form fitting dressed, fishnets, and black heels. The costume was supposed to be a type of witch. My nephew said I looked like the chick from CHARMED. My brother in law said I looked like I was going "trickin". It was fun times. My niece got an ass of candy, and quite a few fathers flirted with me.

Then there was one year where I was traveling to my sister's house to help her with a Halloween party. I was driving I-20 West, and about 15 minutes from her house, my car started "puttin". I had a quarter tank of gas according to the guage, but my car was shutting off and I was in the left (the fast) lane. I threw on my flashers and cruised to the side of the interstate. As soon as I got off the Interstate, my car shut off. I was out of gas. Someone wasn't interested in treating me that year, I was tricked. I had water in my gas tank. LOL My bro in law sent two of his friends with gas to fill up my car so I could get to their house. What a memory. LOL

Today I woke up to see what the personalities of The Today Show dressed up as. Katie was Marilyn Monroe (Material girl Madonna), some chick was Snow White, the white anchor... his name is Brian maybe?... dressed up as Batman... and he was looking kinda sexy in that costume! And Al Roker was dressed up as Robin... and was looking kinda sexy in all those muscles that were involved with his costume!

Then Regis and Kelly came on... LMAO... They were dressed up as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Kelly's lips kept falling off!!! It was quite humorous. She made several remarks about adopting people and children.

So... tonight... I'm putting on makeup and looking the part of a witch... per my niece's request. The rest of my body won't have a costume. So, I guess I'll have to crawl on the floor and peek around the front door with just my head in order to hand out candy! LOL I'm debating on whether or not to put on makeup and scare trick or treaters. I've always wanted to play a trick on someone on Halloween, but I'm not that creative. Anyone have any suggestions?

updates and useless information

2005-10-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

1. S. Carolina BEAT Tennessee AT Tennessee!!!!!! It was a wet ya pants kinda win!!! Maybe the chicken curse is ova..... *on knees praying that it is*

2. EVERYONE MUST GO READ LUKE'S THE RAVE PARTS 1 AND 2!!!! Thanks for the love Luke!!! http://www.fantasybeyond.com/blogger.html (ya gotta click on "blog")

3. Can someone teach me how to hyperlink?... is that what it's called? Where a word or phrase is highlighted and when you click it, it takes u straight to the link... I'm tired of having to search, copy, and past links. THANKS!

4. Uncle Frank... MnM started some mess up in here! Can I borrow your security?

5. I'm going to ATL next weekend! HEY GRAYSE... U hear that? I AM COMING TO THE ATL NEXT WEEKEND GIRL!!!!

6. My reason for going to the ATL next weekend? heehee... Let's just say I was reunited with someone from college. And, well, we both found out that it should not have taken us 10 years to finally say, "Hello, I have a crush on you."

7. Grayse is a definite bonus for going to the ATL next weekend!!!!

8. John Legend is coming to Columbia, SC next month! I'm so excited! I need someone to go with me though! He'll be here Nov 12.

9. G and I are still communicating. He's expanding his business which has him hellafied busy.

10. Has anyone heard that new song that talks about "Rednecks, Cuhluhdz, Snowflakes, Caucasians, Whites, Arabs, etc.... I don't give a damn what you are. Just get ya ass on the dance floor"? Last time I checked, Snowflakes, Caucasians, and Whites were the same race. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong! lmao That shit cracks me the fuck up!!! He says Cuhluhdz like Jamar does!!! I called him, after I text'd him, and he was rolling with me. Then he told me, "Bye Cuhulud!" And I laughed some more!

ONE MORE!

I can't wait till bike week! I know it's a ways off, but I can't wait to kick it for 5 days, all day and all night with Jamar and G! Damn... I miss ya'll!!! Smooches!

FYI... I'm considering taking L.C.'s idea of doing top ten lists for November... stay tuned!!!

AND I hope ya'll didn't forget to turn ya clocks back! *In my country twang accent* We guhna git uh eckstra hour uhf sleep naaow, folks!

Thanks for coming by, God bless, and goodnight! *Russell Simmons*

Will I Make It Next Year?

2005-10-27T18:52:00.000-07:00

My bro-in-law, niece, some friends, and I met at a Mexican restaurant before driving over to my nephew's last JV football game of the season. Let's remember... he's attending a Christian Private School (Ben Lippen). After dinner, well, I knew that my stomach would prolly be making some odd movements, because that's what Mexican food does to me. Well, as soon as we get to the game, I can feel my stomach start to bubble. I sucked it up, and focused on the game so I wouldn't think about it! And it worked... well... for a little while.

The game is going great, halftime is over, and it's 4th quarter with 36 seconds to go in the game. We're winning 0-12, and I'm loving that goose egg on the board for Cardinal Neuman. Why? Cause that's the way to end the season!!! So... Cardinal Neuman is on the 10 or somewhere near it, their field sucks, can't see shit... they don't even have hash marks (Lisa calls them hashbrowns) on the field, and they throw the ball AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDD it's not caught. There was ONE C.N. player and like 4 of our guys in the corner of the field near the endzone. The C.N. fans start yelling about the ref not calling pass interference, and ya'll, I swear, there was NO pass interference! I'm a fair fan. If there's a penalty, I'm cool with it. Well, the refs had already blown their whistles and I'm watching the players line up for the next play, and I catch these two refs walking back to the corner where the last play ended. Mind you, the C.N. fans are still yelling at the refs about some damn pass interference bullshit. I turn my head and these refs are standing about 5 feet apart. One's back is to the out of bounds line and the other's is towards the middle of the field, and they are standing around the 5 yard line. I swear it looked like these two heffas were conspiring about something.

I bet their conversation went like this:
Tire Around the Middle Ref: Is white hat looking?
Skinny Ref: No.
Tire Around the Middle Ref: You think I can throw the flag now?
Skinny Ref: He's not looking and I won't say anything.

Next thing I see is Tire Around the Middle Ref reaching for his flag, he seemed to look at Skinny Ref for one more confirmation that white hat was not looking, he bent his left knee and tossed that muthafucking bitch ass yellow flag on the damn ground!

Please remember... these muthafuckin heffa ass refs blew the whistle like three damn hours ago (it was actually about 10-15 secs)! These two trifling white ass muthafuckas turned around and waved white hat down to show him the trifling ass shit they just did!

Me Screaming: What the?!!! You can't do that!!!!!!!! What are you doing?!?!!! You already blew the... whistle!!!!

I had to remember I was at a damn Christian fucking Private School and I had to contain my fucking profanitites! Got Dayum it!

In my head I'm screaming: YOU TRIFLING ASS WHITE BAMA ASS LOOKING MUTHAFUCKAS!!!! YOU CAN'T THROW THE FUCKING FLAG AFTER THREE FUCKING HOURS LATER AFTER YOU BAMA ASSES ALREADY BLEW THE FUCKING WHISTLE!!! SHIT! YA'LL SOME DAMN MUTHAFUCKING CROWD PLEASERS! WHAT?! YOU THINK THE CROWD WILL LOVE YOU MORE IF YOU THROW THE FUCKING FLAG? OH, I'MA BEAT YOUR ZEBRA WEARING A TIRE AROUND YOUR MIDDLE ASS AFTER THE FUCKING GAME! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THREW THAT FUCKING FLAG SO GOT DAYUM LATE!!!!!! YOU FUCKING TRIFLING ASS REF!!!! GET A NEW JOB!!!!

On the outside I'm read in the face and biting my lip. My friend, Lisa, is looking at me, like, "I know girl. Just keep holding it in. I'm with ya."

I ask, "Can I at least yell boooooo?"

The African-American lady sitting behind me said, "No, sweetheart. You can't do that here."

I respected her rich ass, but damnit... let it have been one of these other rich, stuck up, corncob in their ass white bitches, I woulda been booing my fucking ass off!

And if I had gotten escorted off the damn field... oh damn well!

Let this have been last years rec games... and man... I woulda been yelling at the ref up and down his damn body!

Well, C.N. received 3, yup, that's right, THREE, TRES, 1...2...3..., I said T H R E E, got dayum it, 15 yard muthafucking penalties back to back after that crowd pleasing bitch threw that damn yellow ass flag.

I looked at Lisa and said, "God works in mysterious ways, and Karma is a bitch." God don't like ugly, ya'll. And I'ma prolly go to hell for this post! Fishgrease, will you please hold the door for me? heehee

What am I going to do this weekend? I'ma watch football and yell to the top of my lungs at every ref that makes a bad call so I can get this shit outta my system!

I'm glad my nephew's football season is over. I don't know if I coulda contained myself next week! I have a year to work on my containment skills! Anyone care to help?

I wrote this post in my mind while sitting on the toilet, MY TOILET, after I got home from the game! Not only did I have to shit, but I wanted to yell, "SHIT!" when that stupid ass, gotta make everyone like me bitch threw that damn flag! I hope he's reading this damn thing too! If you are... grow some damn balls!!!!!

THEY'RE JUST KIDS!!!

2005-10-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

It's truly devastating to witness what teenagers deal with nowadays. You'd think society would become more positive with the younger generations overcoming the older generations. But NO! It seems to be JUST the same. Why? I don't know.

I have a magnet that frames a newspaper clipping that says: "No Child Is Born A Racist". And I truly believe this. We watch the young children play with their peers regardless of the color of each others' skin. One must be taught to discriminate, and society helps to teach discrimination, unfortunately.

Thursday night, I was at my nephew's JV football game. After the game, the players lined up from each team, and the cheerleaders lined up behind the football players in order to tell each other "good game". The school is teaching sportsmanship and respect... GREAT!! As the last cheerleader approached her turn to give her respect to the other team and their cheerleaders, my mom and I watched as this African-American teenage girl was treated as if she were dirty and below the students of the other school. I saw this child receive a couple of high fives, but the majority of this school's students would not touch this child. Yeah, I'ma put the school on blast, too!!! The school's name is Heathwood Hall, and it's located in Columbia, SC. The school is a dominantly white, financially rich, private school, and Ben Lippen, my nephew's school beat them in a "wet ya pants" kinda game. A win NEVER felt so good! Especially after watching how the school's students treated this girl. I kinda felt sorry for her, but at the same time I knew she would grow stronger from this event. Tragic, but it won't kill her. I hope that she embraces this treatment in order to make her grow stronger as the person she has and will become.

That night, I watch the 11 o'clock news, and I see that the referees in Ohio would not allow an African-American teenager play in a football game. Why? Because he has no legs. However, the highlights I watched of this young man playing in a game led me to believe that the referees were discriminating against him, because... well.. I dunno. The young man said, "They won't let me play, because I can't wear cleats." WHAT?? This young man was fast as hell using his arms as his legs! I even watched him make a tackle! WTF is wrong with people these days? Give our children the chance they deserve to prove to themselves that THEY are able to do anything they put their minds to!

Our children can teach us so much! We, all of us, just need to open our eyes, minds, and ears to learn from them! Discrimination is yielded from Fear and Envy.

Envy and Fear is NOT the way to live.

This morning in church, our pastor told us a story of a set of twin brothers. It goes like this:
One of the twin brothers was envious of the other, because he believed his brother was better than him. The other twin excelled with better grades, and the other twin seemed to make more money when working. One day the envious twin was walking down the beach and came across a bottle with a cork in it. He picked up the bottle, popped the cork, and a genie appeared from the bottle.

The genie told the twin, "You have three wishes that I will grant to you. Choose your wishes wisely. Whatever you wish for, I must give to your twin twice."

The twin's first wish was for $10 million dollars. The genie granted this wish, and the twin's brother was given $20 million dollars.

The twin's second wish was for him to be loved by a beautiful, vivacious female that he had a crush on in school. The twin was granted this wish. And guess what? His brother had an even MORE beautiful and MORE vivacious female fall in love with him!

The genie told the twin, "You have one more wish for me to grant upon you. What is your final wish?"

The twin requested the genie to scare him half to death.
End of story.

You'll receive NOTHING by being envious of your neighbor. You have been blessed with what you have for a reason for only God to know. Go read Mathew Chapter 20 for further insight.

I hope everyone has had a fabulous weekend! And I hope your week proves to be prosperous!!!

God Bless!

Edited Monday, Oct. 24, 10:40pm
I just learned that Rosa Parks passed today. All that she worked for to give US equality, and we are STILL working towards acting in a civil manner towards everyone. Her actions during the civil rights movements were not unnoticed, and I hope we will all continue to carry out her dream, as well as other civil rights activists!
RIP Miss Rosa Parks!!!! And thank you!

The D word

2005-10-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

We're damned if we do, and we're damned if we don't.

It's not a river.

I'ts a freakin OCEAN.

Denial.

How do we keep from drowning in it?

MICHELLE LEIGH BOLTON FAIRFAX 9-01-1968 to 10-09-2005

2005-10-09T09:59:00.000-07:00

You've reached that higher level of living.
You will be missed in your earthly being,
But will continue to be loved forever.

Your beautiful soul has come and gone,
and those who encountered you will always know
that You were worth all in gold.

You told us it would be okay,
And I know that you are.
Eventuallly, we will be okay, too.

No, it's not fair that your life was cut short by this
Outrageous killer, C-Murder.
But God has called you home
And I know that you are healthier and happy.

You went as peaceful as you came.
I stood there and held your knee as I heard your last breath
Leave your body.
It was a bittersweet moment watching
My Sissy leave this Earth to join her Father.

No longer do you struggle for pure vision.
No longer do you ache.
No longer are you in pain.
I even bet Grandaddy had two pieces of apple pie waiting for you!

What I'd give to have 10 million more moments with you.
But for now, I'll live those moments with your children.
For you live thru those children.

All the memories we created
Flash thru my mind as if they were real photos.
Remember climbing Greybeard?
Who knew we would reach the summit of that mountain
Before dark (the hike was actually 6 hours, Mickey, NOT 3) LOL.
Rock Hoppin, Lookout Mountain, Montreat, Shopping together, riding to Baltimore to find me an apartment, Christmastimes, Thanksgivings, Birthdays, Sundays at church, Sunday dinners, Tailgating at the football games, walking the neighborhood for daily exercise, the go-cart, the golf cart (both of them), touring DC together, graduations, your wedding, the birth of your children, MOVING (YUK!), FOOFIFFLE, Granny's Pie, "Jerry, Bring the clock!", "ooooh Charles", "You don't even know!", Margaritas on your back porch, beers on your back porch, picnics, the north pole in the house in Williston, The Goonies, Go Cocks!, Mom and Sally Fields and Tyne Daly, goodie bags in Granny and Papa's car, Cherokee, Disney World, The Beach, PuttPutt, eating out just because, tricks we played on one another, and all those other wonderful times we spent together!

We're gonna get through this.
Strong family we are.
You just help OUR Father to prepare our rooms for us,
When He's ready to call for us to come home.
Cuz you're the 0nly one who knows how we like it!

I know you'll continue to be with us,
And I'll forever feel you beside me.
We'll NEVER let go!
I love you.
Rest peacefully My Dear, Sweet, Beautiful Sissy.

Splish Splash

2005-10-08T07:28:00.000-07:00

My Homeboy wakes up at 3:45AM and yells, "Hey~! YO!!! What tha?" When he stays with me, he has the habit of waking up and wanting everyone else to be up too, so I tried to ignore him. Then he says, "Yo! Ash! U got water in ya floor! Has it rained that damn much? Yo, u got a flood in your apartment!" At first I thought, "Are you serious?" Then I told him, "D, go do what you gotta do and shut up! I'm sleep! There ain't no damn.... ummm... what's that noise?" I could hear what sounded like water overflowing from something. It sounded like a mini waterfall.

I sat up in my bed and put my feet on the carpet.... "WTF?!?! It's a damn puddle here!" D turns on the hall light and u could see his footprints in the carpet.

We start chasing down the sound of the mini waterfall. It wasn't the toilet, THANK GOD! That coulda been some nasty ass shit! YUCK YUCK!

When I lived in Baltimore, my apartment building had sewer issues, because the huge trees in front of our building had their roots growing into our sewer pipes! Like those trees had the right to allow THEIR roots to grow whichever way they wanted. One day I came home from work and I had nastiness all over my bathroom to clean. No water, just nastiness, but I did notice that there was no water in the bowl of the toilet. I scrubbed that bathroom from wall to wall and I scrubbed all the fixtures with bleach. I wasn't taking ANY chances! THEN... ONE NIGHT while I was sleeping, I woke up to this gurgling noise. The sewer lines backed up into my tub! So... I had to clean that shit too! LITERALLY! Overflowing toilets, because I used to much toilet paper or dropped a huge load, just didn't happen to me... unless there was a clog in the sewer lines. The apartment management team finally cut down all the trees in front of our building except one. After they uprooted these trees, we had no more problems. But it took them almost a year to figure out what the issue was they had to solve.

Sooo... I'm walking around on wet carpet and as I take each step my feet are covered in water, COLD water! I watch D walk over to the AC unit and I'm like... WTF are you doing? It's gonna get hot as hell in here! So... I looked after he walked away, and it looked fine to me, but it WAS 4AM. Finally, we noticed that as we walked closer to the hot water heater closet, the water got deeper. We opened the door and water was skeetin' everydamnwhere! I looked at D, started laughing, and said, "Skeet skeet skeet!" But, seriously... it was wetter than Niagara damn falls up in there! We even got an unwanted shower. However, right about now, at 10:43am, it would have been well welcomed! We found where to shut off the water and turned that shit off! I pee'd in the toilet, not thinking twice that this would be my last flush for a while, and flushed the toilet. I grabbed some towels and decided to start soaking up some water... ummm... bad fucking idea. The towels are now part of the huge pool of water that is in my apartment. I called the "emergency maintenance number" and got the damn front office answering machine. I was like... WTF kinda emergency damn maintenance is that shit? So, I leave a message in my oh so sweet and sexy sleeping voice, walk thru the huge pool of COLD water that my carpet is trying to soak up, and examine where the water has traveled.

I don't know what I did to my hot water heater cuz it burst all over the damn place, but I'm glad D heard it hissing early, cuz there wasn't too much damage! There's water in my closet, all in the hall way, about a foot into the living room, and all on one side of my bedroom. My bookcase is probably ruined and the front end of the bottom of my grandmother's dresser is damp. I got D to lift the dresser so I could slide a plastic bag underneath it to prevent the wood from soaking up anymore water. I hope it's not ruined. I love that dresser! It's been around since I was a baby! heehee Anywho. I grabbed a DRY towel and placed it by my bed so I could dry off my feet and take my ass back to sleep, since emergency maintenance seemed to be some bullshit. I couldn't do shit with the water and there are NO stores open at 4AM where I can buy a shop vac and a hot water heater. I climb back in the bed and think, DAMN... no football game for me tomorrow/today!

D turns over and says... "Damn! I'm a soldier! That's what woke me up and made me have to pee! U and that damn trina! Now u get to experience what Louisiana went thru!" I told him, "I'm just glad it's not that extreme!" D said, "I'm just glad it didn't rain like I thought it had when I stepped in the flood!"

We both laughed, then rolled over, and went to sleep.

15 minutes later, I woke up and my stomach was all cramped up and I knew I had to tramp back through the COLD water to sit upon my throne! I stood up from the toilet and... "ummm... wtf? SHIT! I flushed the toilet too damn early! I don't have any damn water!!! fuck." I lit an incense, closed the seat of the toilet, kept the fan running, and shut the door behind me. I found my bottle of hand sanitizer and washed up, cuz, damnit, I didn't have any water! I, also, thought about Luke and how he can't stand it when someone doesn't wash their hands after using the bathroom. Luke, you were the inspiration for me finding my hand sanitizer! Then I climbed in the bed and D (my black and korean friend - BB) said, "You ain't got no water! Damn. Your bathroom gonna stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink!" And he started laughing! I looked at him and said, "Fuck you, shut up, and go to sleep!" And we bothed started laughing. Before I sat on the bed to dry off my feet, I splashed around in the puddles surrounding my bed and started giggling. D rolls over and looks at me and says, "Look lil girl... now is not the time to splash in ya puddles." I laughed, splashed around some more, then got in the bed.

I was supposed to get up at 8:30 to shower and dress to meet my sis at her place to get ready to go to the Kentucky vs. S. Carolina "Basement Bowl". AND... it's supposed to rain, which means it will be a fun and exciting football game! Ain't nothing like some muddy football! I did and didn't wanna go. For some reason, I've been real tired lately and I was looking forward to sleeping in.. and afternoon football games in the south are hot and sweaty... BUT FUN!

I ended up waking up at 8:15, because my mom called to give me an update on my older sis... she's back in the hospital. We'll talk about that later tho.

I called my younger sis to tell her I couldn't go to the game and that she needed to call Mom to tell Mom that she would take our nephew to the game. I explained to her that Mini Trini blew thru my apartment via my hot water heater early this morning and that I didn't know when I would hear from maintenance. She offered to let me come to her place to shower so I could still go to the game, but I reminded her I needed to be here for maintenance. So, she's taking my nephew to the game and four tickets will be wasted, because my parents and I aren't going and my younger sis isn't using her ticket. My nephew scored tickets with great seats from some friends of his parents. I hope they have a GREAT time!!! For real! Now that I think about it... I wish I was going. BUT... Kentucky might kick our ASS!

Ok... back to my MINI TRINA!

So... at 9AM I hear a knock on my door. I think, "hmmm.... could this be maintenance?" I opened the door AND SHO NUFF... There stood my maintenance man - *ahem* that works in the apartment complex fixing things. He told me that his beeper didn't go off. I looked at him and said, "Sure it didn't! We know you were sleep at 4am!" and I laughed so the dude wouldn't think I was being too big a bitch! He opened the closet to the hot water heater and said, "Looks like you need a new one." I thought, "Duh... ya think? I kinda figured that shit out when the flood waters decided to invade my apartment doofus!" Maint. Genius says, "I can have one put in real quickly, you have an easy one." I said, "Okay. Well, I'm sleeping right now. Can you come back at 11:30?" Of course he will... and he's going to bring his posse with him so that they can suck up the carpet pool. What... when he told me that... was I supposed to jump up and down for joy? SHIT. I had been living like this for 5 hours. I had already adjusted to the new living situation (no water and shit in my toilet - that's my fault, I guess, but damnit... I had to go!).

So, now I'm sitting here like.. WTF... I never went back to sleep, he coulda fixed that shit then! I'm up now, I feel nasty, I can brush my teeth cuz I have bottled water, but I can't do shit else! At least I do have electricity, food, water to drink, my belongings, and a sense of humor! One of my boys told me... "You should make the best of the situation! Invite some of ya girlfriends over, throw on some white tees, and roll around in the carpet pool! It's an instant wet Tshirt contest!" At this point, I'm ready to roll around in the carpet to get clean! LOL

about an hour ago, I realized D HAD turned off the AC! I was in here sweating like a whore in church! I had to call him and tell him that he's fired, because he turned off the AC and was complaining about being hot! LOL Fucker.

So... this is how my Saturday has started and I'm tired as a marathon runner. Now maintenance is here fixing things!!!! Yippeee!!! I'm getting closer to being able to take a shower!

ok... enuf serious shitakee mushrooms

2005-10-04T14:32:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to stop cursing (reasong for "shit"akee)!
But, damnit... it ain't fucking working! It's just too much fun to curse! It makes everything funnier!

So... I'll keep "trying", but I'll prolly fucking fail! LMAO

Anywho....

I've decided to NOT blog about my "family shit" anymore... well... at least for a week or two. So, let's have some fun!

1. Why do dogs sniff ya crotch when you first walk into their domain? I mean, seriously! Every dog I have greeted sniffs my crotch! It doesn't matter if the dog is male or female, they keep right on walking up to my crotch and saying "hello" with their nose! I've heard it said that if a human female has a yeast infection or smells down there (and we ain't talking about roses) a dog will sniff the female's crotch. Well, folks, I do NOT have a yeast infection and my shit definitely don't stank! I was at my sis's house Sunday afternoon, and as I walked into the front door, the damn dog stuck his snout in my crotch! I looked at him and said, "NO! That's not YOURS!" He politely removed his snout, and I immediately went to the bathroom to take a sniff myself, cuz I got worried! Nope... it was all straight! A family I dog sit for on the regular... their dog always puts HIS nose in my crotch too! WTF! I don't get it! Is it just that the crotch area is right at their height? So they decide to kiss ya there? I don't know... but it's kinda uncomfortable for a dog to come up and put his snout right in ya crotch. Especially when ya clit is right at his nasal bone! Later I watched the dog playing with my nephew and when the dog got rambunctious... he headed straight for my nephew's "private" area and looked like he was going to bite him there! I yelled, "OH no!!! Watch ya penis boy!" My nephew (13) started laughing, and I was thinking, "Shit, that's ya family jewels boy! That dog could take it off in one chomp!" Yeah, I knew they were playing, but damn... the dog doesn't need to play with those! So... why do dogs go straight for people's crotch area, but sniff other dogs' butts?

2. WTF is up with these weird ass new television shows? Surface, Invasion, LOST (I know it's the second season), and there's another NEW one.... They all talk about weird alien type shit. Is someone trying to tell us something? Seriously, where are these producers/directors/writers getting this shit? Someone either has an extremely unusual and active imagination OR there's seriously some weird shit in this universe! And then there are movies about all these ghosts, exorcisms, aliens, terrorists, and natural disasters! I believe in ghosts. I really do believe they exist. Shoot... My girl was down last Thursday hanging out with me and helping me to get my apartment in order, because I lost it sometime last week with all the clutter due to going back and forth from work, the hospital, my sister's house, and coming home to crash. Well, Friday morning she's sitting on the toilet *with the seat down* and I'm doing my hair getting ready for work, and we're talking. She puts down her juice cup and 2 seconds later, that damn cup starts sliding across the damn countertop. She looks at me, I look at her, and we both look like what the fuck just happened? She made an excuse that there musta been some water on the bottom of the cup to make it move like that. I slept with my lights on until last night. Fuck that. If I hear anything go "bump in the night" all my lights are on and I'll just pay the damn electric bill. If I see something strange happen, like that damn cup... lights on, period. Aliens... hmmm... I don't know if they are out there or not. However, I have an ex boyfriend who swears he and our old roommate saw a UFO the night before I moved in back in 1999. He said he was at the top of the stairs in our apartment and there was a bright light shining through the highest window in the apartment. Let's just say it scared the shit outta me, and I never slept ONE night alone in that apartment! We know asshole terrorists exist, and we know natural disasters occur. However, how strange is it that a movie called The Hunt For Red October was made, and a few years later, a Russian sub was stuck in the bottom of the ocean, and the damn Russians didn't want our help. Actually, it's happened twice now. Seriously... this shit is real strange! Then there are these damn demon and Christianality movies (The Exorcist, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, Constantine, Relic, etc.). Man... demons and the devil really exist ya'll. The Emily Rose movie... based on a true story! I won't go see it, cuz I know it's going to scare the shit outta me. Constantine got to me, but not as bad as I know Miss Emily Rose will. I wanna go see it outta curiosity, but know I do NOT need to go see something that is going to scare the piss outta me. The Exorcist was bad enough, and I saw all of them. Shit, THEY, the movie about the closet monsters... I slept with the lights on for three months. The first night in my apartment after watching this movie, I tied my closet doors together so they could not open, just in case there was something in there. Seriously, where do these people get these ideas?

3. Road trips. They can be a lot of fun AND educational. I rode with a friend to NC over the weekend so he could drop some things at his mom's place. We rode thru this little town called Salemxxxxx something or another. It is the home the NC Police Academy (that's not the name of it tho). Basically, if someone wants to be a cop, they have to come into this town to attend the school to become a cop. This little town was dead as dirt on a Sunday. It seemed like a ghost town. The only people seen were the ones traveling on this little country two lane highway. BUT... my friend reassured me that during the week, this little town is bustling busy! I learned that the only way this little town thrives is off of this police academy. It was a cute little town.... and on each side of the city limits were beautiful green fields and cotton fields. We were definitely in the country. We even saw a dead wild turky... someone ran over it. I spent 8 years in "the country" and will claim being a country girl till the day I die. HOWEVER... I'm more Southern than country. Country is more related to being a redneck and I don't really fit that description! LOL Anywho... me and this friend learned we have a lot in common: music, nature, family morals, small town kids, and traveling. It's always a lot of fun to take a road trip with a friend, new or old, to see what you can learn that you already didn't know about your friend.

4. I'm a procrastinator. Yup. I sure am. I was supposed to call and order this packet for me and a coworker so we can start making money together on disability screenings. Man, I ain't ordered that packet yet. I need to get on it though, before my coworker bounces on the idea. I decided that I want to go back to school to change my profession, but I haven't done anything BUT obtain my transcript to take to the school. I know that I need to make a career change, because I'm learning that there will be no room for growth in the agency I currently work for. We have a position open in our "drop in" center, but they won't consider someone with 4-18 years experience working with this population IF the person does NOT have a master's degree, because the person working this position has to be able to complete assessments. When I lived in Maryland, I was doing all the things these Master level employees are currently doing (assessments), and I can't be considered for this job, because I don't have a masters? SHIT. Some of these Master level clinicians have NO idea of what they are to do when they enter the workforce, because they went directly to grad school before obtaining any kind of experience. And they're willing to hire outside the agency for a master's level clinician who has no experience before thinking of hiring a clinician with a bachelors and years of experience with the population who already works within the agency AND knows the clients? WTF? Experience vs Education... YOU tell me. Experience IS Education to me. BUT... I'm just the employee. WTF do I know? So... this has put a tiny pep in my step towards getting my ass down to Midlands Tech to turn in my transcript so I can make more than this measly master's level clinician position. Hmmm... 34K/year vs. 50K-60K/year.... Look out Tech, I'm on my way!!!!

EXTRA
5. Thanks to Leon and his BIRD luck... I'm sitting here typing this blog and I keep hearing something thumping at my sliding glass door. My first thought: It's a screened in porch... WTF is out there? I turn around to see a bird flying into the door. My first thought: How the fuck did that bird get in the porch? So... I had to think quick, cuz I'll be damned if that bird was gonna 'shat' all over my porch! I don't know what kind of bird it was, but it was little and it was scared to death. I could see it's little heart beating so fast and hard thru his chest, I felt sorry for it. And he musta been breathing heavy, cuz it's beak was open, but no sound was coming out. So... I searched for my gun... lmao... SIKE! Just kidding! I grabbed a dish towel so I could use it to scoop up the bird and take him thru my apartment and out my apartment door, because I don't have a door on my porch to allow the bird to go out. I walk onto the porch and stand there for a few minutes just to allow the bird to calm down. Shit, I ain't want the bird to croak on my porch from a heartattack! After the bird settles on the screen, I try to throw the towel over it to rescue the bird. Man, that bitch snuck out from the towel every time and would fly higher on the screen. I ain't but 5'5"!!! So, I had to wait some more and HOPE that this fucker wasn't going to shit on my head as he flew over me. Finally, he gave up on the screen. I guess he figured he wasn't going to get out that way, and he sat on the floor of the porch. I tried to get him to walk underneath the wall of the porch, but he wasn't getting it. I guess they don't understand sign language or English. All these years, people been talking how sign language is the universal language! So... I threw the towel over the bird, scooped him up in my hands, made sure he couldn't get out of the towel when we entered my apartment, opened my front door, closed my front door, and opened the towel to let him/her fly free. I could feel his/her heart beating against the palm of my hand. It was almost poetic! I'll never forget my birdie friend. *sniff sniff* LOL Leon... ya story was funny as hell, but mine is sweet! I just rescued a bird from my porch today! A little bird... And guess what, Leon... I bet it'll shit on my car later! LOL NOT.... it's going to remember me and tell all it's friends to NOT shit on my car when I wash it! LOL Leon, feel free to send PETA to my blog if they get pissed by yours! Shit, I know you sent that bird my way, hustleman.

THRU THE MOTIONS

2005-10-02T17:18:00.000-07:00

The week was okay. Nothing to brag about.

My weekend was very enjoyable! I made a new friend and smiled and laughed a lot over the weekend! (HEY Jai!!!! waving ferociously)

Until today.

My bro in law called this morning asking me to watch my niece during the afternoon while my sis and broinlaw attended a funeral.

Cool.

No problem.

They come home and my older sis heads for the bed. I can understand that. She's weak. She's tired. And the medication adds to her "weakness".

She continuously asked me what was wrong. NOTHING was wrong. I reassured her SEVERAL times that I was OKAY and NOTHING was wrong with me. But she kept insisting that something was wrong with me! I wanted to ask her, "What? Do you WANT something to be wrong with me?" I don't have anything to talk about! WTF?

So... one of our choir members delivers food for dinner, and I am then kicked out, because she wants to sleep. That's cool, and I can understand. I got things I need to do anyway.

I'm on my way home, and my older sis calls while I'm 10 minutes out from my apartment. She says, "I can call you back when you get in your apartment, if it will be easier for you to talk." I tell her, "Nah. Go 'head. I can talk and drive."

Older sis:
"Ash, I'm worried about you. You don't seem like yourself."

Me:
"I'm fine. If there was something wrong with me, I'd tell you. Just because I don't smile and laugh all the time, doesn't mean there is something wrong with me. The only thing wrong with me is that I worry about you and your family. But, if I didn't worry, I wouldn't be doing my familial duty."

sis:
"I know you went thru something similar a few years back. I know you'll never be able to have a family, and I'm sorry. I just hope that one day you'll find that kind of happiness."

Me thinking: WTF?
Me saying:
"I'm okay. I'm past all of that."

Me thinking:
Why the hell is she bringing this shit up? And...... *screaming in my head*

While I was visiting with my sister, I learned how narrow minded she is... and it bothered me. She claims to be a Christian, but doesn't support homosexuals (which means she "would like to watch Ellen and hear her comic relief, but she's gay, and I just can't support her"-she said this Thursday night... I was like... gotdayum... are you for real?). Me thinking: Doesn't God want us to LOVE everyone? Hmmm.... I didn't say a word, cuz... well... I didn't wanna upset her. She was getting ready to sleep.

Today, we were discussing my younger sister and our beliefs that she is gay. Hell, I don't have a problem with it. She's my sister, and I'ma love her regardless! As long as she and whoever she is with is happy, so be it. My older sister is saying how she thinks that our younger sis understands that she is to not talk about that type of stuff in my older sister's house and I'm thinking: "WTF? What are we allowed to and not allowed to discuss in your house? Has shit changed that much?" So, my younger sis can't discuss her sexuality. Ok. That's not really fair. But my older sis can voice how much she's against certain groups of people? C'mon.

Then my older sis turns and says, "You don't really bring men around to meet us either."

WHoA! HOLD UP! Pump ya brakes sister!

Me thinking:
"The way you all talk about YOUR husband and how no man will ever compare to him, why should I feel comfortable bringing any man around you or the rest of the fam at all?"

Me saying:
"I'm not going to bring just ANY man I'm dating home to meet you all. When I get serious with someone and it lasts longer than 2 months, I'll THINK about bringing him to meet ya'll. You all aren't in agreeance of the type of man I date anyway. Hell, you all judge the man before you meet him anyway."

Sis:
"Yeah, I guess we are kinda hard on you. And we'd probably be kinda hard on the man if we were to meet him. It's just that we want the best for you. That's all."

Me:
"Yeah, I know. I'm not going to settle for less than what I deserve."

Then I change the subject. I'm tired of it being brought up that I'm not married yet. WHO CARES? Maybe God doesn't want me to marry! Maybe God has a certain man designed for me, and when it's time, he'll introduce me to this man! WTF?

So, now I'm home and all I hear her saying is, "You'll never be able to have a family."

In 2003 I was diagnosed with cervical cancer and as a "cure" I underwent a radical hysterectomy. The surgeon removed everything except my ovaries, because I am young, and to give me a chance to have a genetically linked baby. I can still have a baby, but I don't want to have a baby, until I meet the man who will be my husband. I have 5 very close and out of this world friends who have volunteered to be my surrogate mother when I'm ready to have a child. HEY KIM, ERICA, KRISTI, CHANTELL, AND BRANDY!!!! I LOVE YOU !!!! Erica volunteered first. She went to all my doctor appointments during this difficult time. She was like my sister during this difficult time! She was my shoulder to cry on and my greatest support system! My other girls hung in there for me too! Ya'll mean the world to me and I wouldn't trade you in for N E thing!

What has me worried is: Did my sister say these things, because she believes I'll never find a man, because I can't bear children? The thing is... I CAN have children... THROUGH another female! The child WILL look like me and the father, because it is from MY egg and the man's sperm.

I'm angry and hurt all at the same time.

Just because MY life didn't turn out like my sister's, it doesn't mean that my life has no purpose or meaning! There are a lot of females out there who can't bear children and are married, in love, and happy.

I just can't believe my sister came out and said some shit like that! I'd never say anything to hurt her like that!

DAMNIT!

I CAN HAVE BABIES!

I JUST CAN'T CARRY THE BABY!

BUT I CAN WATCH THAT PRECIOUS BEING GROW WITHIN ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS!

I'm so hurt.

I AM NOT A GROUPIE!

2005-09-24T01:26:00.000-07:00

I am just getting in from my Friday night out and it's 4:30AM.

My girl is in town doing a road show (timeshares) for her job. She sells timeshares and is the roadshow manager. FYI... LOOK out ATL... she's on her way there! YES! To live! If she moves... I'll be there soon!!!

We started out at Bailey's Sports Bar... had a few drinks (Captn and Cokes for me, wine for her), played some computer game, and watched all the eye candy in the atmosphere. We had a really good time!

Well, before I headed over to the embassy suites, she told me she was rappin' with Donnell Jones' producer. Ok. Cool. DJ, MH, Shanice, and Keisha somebody are in town for the HOOD AWARDS... lmao. No. Seriously, a radio station hosted The Hood Awards tonight (best hair salon, best club, best bootleg artist, best...).

We get back to the hotel close to 2am and we're hanging out in front of her room door on the third floor and I watch this FINE ass man walk around the hall of the 7th floor, board the elevator, and ride down to the first floor. HE WAS FINE! So.... My girl says, "That's Marques Houston!" I'm like.. WATEVA... then the security guard of the embassy confirms. OK. cool.

I go downstairs to walk across the street to waffle house and as I board the elevator to go downstairs, there's this huge black man on the elevator. I ain't worried about him... I said, "What's up." and minded my own. He says, "Where'd ya'll party tonight?" I looked at him like... WTF do you care? And went on my merry way. He stopped me and made small talk with me: asking me what I do for a living, where I'm from, where I've traveled, etc. Dude's name is Moe and he's from Harlem. woowhoo. In walks Marques Houston with his liteskinned Asian/Black "bodyguard"? MH was looking fly in his white and red sweats, but who really cares. He's just another person out there making his money the best way he knows how. BTW... MH, if you're reading this... "CUTS" could use a lil more script for "Walt"! Well, Moe invites me to his room and I observe him nod at MH and MH's BG. I think, "HMMMM, let's be careful! But shit... let's have fun!" We get upstairs and we're watching ESPN and I'm all talking about what I know that I can relate to a man on (football). We're cool, laughing, conversing, etc. And he leans over and says, "Come here." I look at him all crazy like and say, "What? Excuse me?" This mofo wanted me to kiss him! Ummmm... I told him... "Ummm... NO. I don't even know you. You could be MH and I STILL would NOT kiss you!" WTF? All this after he invites me up to NY state for a weekend... hmmm... hope that ain't the pen! LOL So... I call my girl as a rescue, and she's all with producer dude leaving me all on my own. That's cool... cuz she's expecting her soon to be in the past muthafucka to arrive soon, so I'd be on my own anyways. She's telling me to take my ass to the 7th floor to find MH and I'm like, FUCK THAT! I'm already hating this muthafucka and he's with DJ! BTW... Donnell Jones... if you're reading this... Ummm... MO... yeah, that's his name, MOE! Like MO' BETTA! If YOU don't fire MO' Betta get some manners... I'll make sure he don't NEVA work another day in his life! Nah... I'ma just make sure I steer clear of "on the road" muthafuckas! Ya'll some rude acting like ya'll neva had some pussy muthafuckas!

So... I return to MOE's room and he's got the lights off and shit and says, "I'm about to take this in the other room. You wanna go lay down with me?" I say, "NO. I'm celibate and I don't want you to suffer." LMFAO! Seriously... I'm working towards that whole celibacy thing. I think it would be worth my while! I'd find someone worthy then, fa sho! And, I'll be able to weed out the lame ass fuckers real quicklike! So... Moe says, "This is what we call babysitting." ME: "What, cuz I ain't giving you no ass, but I'm allowing you the privilege of my company? Fuck you. I live right around the corner, asshole." I proceeded to pick up my purse, and exit Embassy Suites. He follows out saying, "Are you still coming up to NYC for the weekend? Cuz I still fucks with you." I turned around, rolled my eyes, patted my right ass cheek and said, "Kiss My Ass MUTHAFUCKA!" Then I pranced my ass to the elevator, pressed 1, rode that bitch to the first floor, walked out the front door, got in my truck, and drove my happy ass home!

Man... all I was doing was chillin', having a good time, and enjoying myself, hoping that others were enjoying themselves! But, nooooooooooooo.... these muthafuckas wanted to turn my ass into a groupie!

FUUUUUCK YOOOOUUUU!!!

Ain't nobody betta than G! If you think you are... lol... ur delusional!
Celibate and staying my ass at home. Ok... Celibate and NOT placing myself into fucked up situations!

Man... the world of celebrities! Do all of them act like this? I'm glad I do NOT live in this world. It must be hell!

EDIT
1:58pm
ringtadingtadingtading to the tune of "The Devil Goes Down To Georgia" which means it was a family member calling me at 8:57AM. 3 hours after I went to sleep. HEY LEON... THANKS FOR NOT ANSWERING MY DRUNK DIALING LAST NIGHT!
Dad is on the phone: "Michelle is in the emergency room. Her speech is extremely slurred and there is pressure on the left side of her brain." OK. What am I to do?
Well... here's the story folks: The hospital is keeping her at least until Tuesday. I've been sobbing for the past hour, sporadically, because it has now hit me that my sister is dying. There will be no more treatments, for now. Not for her brain, anyway. We learned today, that they learned Thursday that Michelle has 30 tumors on her brain. I need so much support right now it's pitiful. All my girls are working today. My parents are at the hospital, my younger sister is off to get drunk, and I'm off to take care of my sister's house, kids, and dog. I feel alone right now. I know I'm not, but I NEED someone to HUG me tight and tell me it's going to be okay. I NEED someone to HELP me be strong for my niece and nephew this afternoon so that I don't break down and sob uncontrollably in front of them. I NEED someone in a physical form to talk to me until I'm done talking... just to listen. You don't have to say anything back to me! JUST LISTEN AND COMFORT ME! I called my ex of 6 years who is now one of my bestestest friends and he is trying to reroute one of his flights to me so that he can be here for a few days for me. It's amazing how he's the only one I feel I can count on outside my family. I know he'll come if I need him. Ok... this isn't supposed to be another post... this is supposed to be an update. NOT only am I tired, but now I'm emotional. Not a great combo! Who knew this blog would be such a great tool for me!

MIA

2005-09-23T09:39:00.000-07:00

Have any of you had a problem accessing updated blogs? I just learned that I had to refresh every blog I visit to read in order to get to read the NEWest post! WTF? I have a lot of catching up to do! Bare with me. I haven't really felt like blogging lately, but will return soon with a newer post! Not a whole lot going on in my world... but I'm sure I can pick something to blog about! LOL

Be back later to post something worth reading!

GOSH DARNIT

2005-09-18T05:56:00.000-07:00

I had a really good post I created last night... it didn't post. So... u'll get the short version now. The long version was MUCH funnier!

Saturday:
Game
we lost to BAMA. Man... I don't eva wanna hear someone say Roll Tide Roll, again. UGH! I wanted to turn around and say, didn't it just ROLL all over your asses? Roll your BAMA asses back to BAMA! My mom got overheated, because the damn weatherman lied. He said it'd be 83.... it reached 100. Fucker. She got really sick and had to leave the game early. We tailgated before the game, and my mom decided she was gonna have a 7 and 7...ummm... my mom is NOT a drinker... AND it was hot as fuck... AND she got tipsy offa one drink. She told me after I asked if she wanted me to pour her another.... "Nah, when I just got up, I felt like putty." I giggled... cuz I knew exactly what she was talking about. When that likka first hits ya blood stream... ya whole body is so relaxed, you feel like putty... like you can't control your limbs! When Dad and I got back to their hotel room, she seemed to be doing better, but she got real liteheaded when she stood up. I wanted to say... IT'S CUZ YOU GOT DRUNK! AND U AIN'T DRINK NO WATER!!! Shoot! It was too hot to be drinking like that! I had... 3 beers... I think... but after my second... I started drinking water with my beer because it was so damn hot! I wasn't gonna be up in those stands, hot as fuck, needing water, and throwing up! Fukkah that!

Play of the Game
Those damn refs FINALLY started calling penalties... in the fourth damn quarter AFTER we didn't have a chance! Fuckers! There were lots of uncalled holdings, face masks, AND ONE pass interference! AAAAAAASSSSSSHOOOOOOOOOLES! I know... it's rough being a ref... but it's rougher when you cheat out SC and u gotta deal with bottles and shit being thrown at you.

Play of the Day
I win this one! I went to the concessions to get my mom a plain pretzel and a soda, cuz she was all nauseated! LOL... man... I'ma have to teach her how to drink for real! As I come down the stairs from my section into the concessions... this skinny, 5'8", middle aged, white man almost runs into me. He puts his hand on my back and allows me to proceed. I thanked him and headed for the shortest concession line. As I'm approaching the line, this man speeds up, walks past me, and heads for the same line. As he looks back at me, I give him the "I know you did not just do that shit" look. He smiles and I get in line behind him. I'm watching this dude and am like, WTF is wrong with this white dude? Man... he was DRIIIZZZZUUUNNNK! Most of us pack mini bottles in our pockets so that we can continue to drink as we get inside the game. But, ya'll, this dude was so drunk, he was stumbling and slurring his words (all while standing stationary). So... I'm waiting and being patient with Mr. Drunk. All of a sudden, he reaches over, puts his left arm around my neck, pulls me into him, and kisses me on the cheek. I think, "FUCK! Now I got drunk cooties!" Then I think, "Hmmmm... he might buy the food!" So, I'm extra nice to him and talk to him and allow him to keep kissing me on the cheek. Hell, I can wash the fucker later! Hell, all he's eating is salt anyway from how much I was sweating! He notices I'm a Gamecock fan too, and says, "Cool. You're a cock fan too!" LOL... I know... if I wasn't talking about football, that statement would sound all too fucked up! However, I am a cock fan! LOL In more than one way! heehee Anywho! We get to the window to order the food and he says, "What ya getting?" I tell him and he tells me to order it. As the man tells me how much it is... I go to reach in my pocket to pay for it and Ricky says, "Don't worry about it. I got it." He orders his stuff, pays for our stuff, then we walk back to our seats." Shoot, I was only gonna get a small coke, but when I knew he was going to pay for it... I ordered a large coke! heehee I love drunk, old, white men! They always spend their money when they are drunk! I hope he found his way back to his seat, cuz he sure couldn't tell me where he was sitting! LOL Hey, Rick, if you're reading this, Thanks for saving us $10.50!!!! Ur the DRUNK MAN! LOL

WHAT I LEARNED TODAY
1. My mom is a bootlegger! When she came back from a vacation to Maine years ago... she brought back cases of minibottles (Crown, Seagrams 7, and other shit). She didn't know she couldn't carry them over the state borders. My parents drive a 99 Tahoe. And the entire back was filled with cases of likka! lmao Man, if they had gotten pulled over... my mom was gonna tell the cop, "That's all for me. And it's really not enough." Damn.

2. My younger sister was taken advantage of by a pizza dude. She had been out partying with one of her friends and they had returned home fucked up off some Xanax and beer. They decided to order a pizza before passing out. The doorbell rang and sis woke up and went to see who it was. She forgot they had ordered pizza. The guy handed her the pizza and she dropped it... 3-4 times. Can you say... Cheese all ova the box? lol Then he handed her a soda and she dropped it. She said he went to pick it up for her cuz she was so fucked up and she told him, "Nah dude. Just leave it there." She said she rolled it with her foot to the kitchen. THEN... she went back to pay him the $16 and told him to keep the change. She said dude was grinning from ear to ear and told her thanks. She said she thought, "Damn dude! WTF are you so damn happy about? $4? Damn!" Next day she and her friend were getting ready to hit a local Myrtle Beach pool bar (swimming pool) and she couldn't find her $50 bill. LMFAO! No wonder dude was so damn happy! He made all his tips in one delivery!!! Lesson: If you are fucked up at 4AM and don't know wtf you are doing... ummm.. let someone else manage your money!

HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY!
Miami beat Clemsuck in triple OT! woooowhooooo!

DOWNER OF THE DAY
we fucking lost. got the shit beat out of us. got our asses handed to us on a silver fucking platter.

HOW DID I GET TO SLEEP
I talked to G till I couldn't talk anymore and was ordered to go to sleep. I miss him! heehee

And for all you fuckers who fussed at me about staying awake so I could go out last night! I did stay awake till damn 11:30p waiting for you assholes to fucking call me so I could go out and hang with you all! U bitches never called my ass back! I telephoned each of you at 9pm! Next time... I don't wanna hear ya fucking mouths! hahahahaha fuckers.

HOT, DRINKING, HOTNESS, FOOD AND DRINKING, MORE HOTNESS...

2005-09-17T19:30:00.000-07:00

11AM Sat
Call my younger sis to tell her what time I'd be picking her up to ride to the stadium to tailgate.

11:30AM
OH SHIT! Gotta go by the cable company to drop a payment.

11:45AM
Payment Dropped... ring ring... my younger sis calls... "Man, it's like Christmas already!"
Me: "Well, walk your ass outside. By the time you get to the parking lot, I'll be there."

12Noon
Riding down Assembly (main route in Columbia) and looking at all these BAMA ass mofos coming to the game (BAMA vs. S. Carolina)

12:30pm
Out the car and walking from what feels like Florence, SC to Columbia. Damn! We walked FOREVER to get to the tailgate party!

12:45pm
guzzle guzzle
first beer down.. NEXT

1:15pm
Got dayum it's hotter than damn hadeez out here! gimme a water with my third beer! shit!

2:00pm
had to stop drinking cuz it was too damn hot! Younger sis pops the seal on the Fighting Cock bourbon. Man... that shit smelled like AND tasted like Marschino Cherry juice. Sis... someone got over on you! That was NOT no likka!

3:00pm
purchased a cute ass purse on the way into the stadium! handmade in the colors of the gamecocks (garnet and black)!

3:15pm
In our seats and my mom is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay overheated! What happened to it being 82 damn degrees today? Fucking weathermen

4:00pm
Mom is still overheated... She shouldn't have drank that Seagrams 7! Damn... this sucks!

4:45pm
We're getting our asses handed to us on the field!

5:00p
Mom and younger sis head back to the parent's hotel room. Mom is sick. And we're still getting our asses handed to us... BUT Miami is beating Clemsuck (Clemson for you slo ones)!!!!! woooowhoooo

6:00p
Dad, can we go? This sucks! I'm hot as hell, and I'm watching a suck ass game in the damn sun! I don't think it's 82 degrees. FYI... we never leave early. No matter how bad we're getting beat, we stay till the end. This is part of where I learned how to be loyal.

7:00pm
Dad and I are walking to the car. Got dayum! Where the fuck did I park? I know it's near that 22 sign. Where the fuck is my... ahhh... there's my baby! Hey, Dad... the new name for Spurrier's offensive line is now "Sputter Sputter...... sput." They didn't do a damn thing! WTF

7:45pm
Hey... can we get some grub? We're at the hotel room. Mom is looking aight, but she's nauseated. And when she stands up... she gets lightheaded. Awwww... my poor mommy! How 'bout we order a pizza or two or three?

7:48p
Ummm... an hour and 15 fucking minutes for a delivery? I'll call you back. How about we do Applebees? Cool... Yeah... ummm.... 3 house sirloins and a chicken finger basket, please (sneeze). lmao

8:28pm
roll up to the carside take out. chick comes out with food. younger sis and I head back to the tellie.

8:36p
Ummm... where are our teas? *ssssskkkkurrrrrrtttt* Turned around for our drinks... shit... she did charge us for the mofos

8:40p
Got our drinks and... *skkkkkkkkkkreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech* we out.

9:16p
damn... that was good... now I Need to go home, shower, change, and take my ass out!

Fuck yeah! Miami beat Clemson in triple overtime! heeheehee... One thing a Gamecock fan loves when we lose is that Clemfuckingsuck loses too!!!

Mom felt a lot better after she ate. Younger sis and I helped Mom and Dad figure out the necessities on their new Nokias... Damn... them things are fly... but not like the racers/razors.. wateva.

9:45p
hugglies hugglies, kisses kisses... love you. I gotta go!

10p
walk in the door... take off the clothes... jump in the shower... call my peeps.... WHERE ARE THOSE MUTHAFUCKAS?

10:45p
these fuckers STILL ain't called my ass back! WTF (yawn, stretch) Who cares?

Now I ain't got to spend no money! *SMILE*

HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY
I walked down to the concessions during the football game to get my mom another coke and a pretzel to try to get some of that likka out her system and some hydration into her body. I walk down the stairs and this drunk, skinny, middle aged white man almost ran into me. He put his arm around me and apologized. Cool. I'm walking to get in the shortest line, and he jumps in in front of me. Man... this mofo was LIT! He's putting his arm around me and kissing me on the cheek and I'm thinking "EWWWWW.... this fucker is drunk and... EWWWW... OMG... he just kissed my fucking cheek! WTF is .... got dayum... he drunk as shit! That's cool... I'ma play this shit off and see if he buys my shit." One thing about drunk old dirty white men. When they are tanked... they spend some damn money! So... I talked to him and was nice to him... and as we got to the window to order he said order what you want. I got my large ass soda and the pretzel and when the man told me how much it was, I reached into my pants, and drunk ass white man (Ricky) slid his money under the window, smiled, and said, "I got this." I said thanks and thought, "ha... works every time... suuuuckkkkerrr!!!" We walked away and he side hugged me, told me it was nice meeting me, and walked up the first set of stairs! Ya'll, he couldn't even tell me where he was sitting! He was walking past my section of stairs when I came down. I hope he made it back to his seat! I love drunk white, older, rich men who spend their money! heehee

WHAT I SERIOUSLY GOT OVER TODAY!
These fucking skinny ass, no body having, white women and their big ass sunglasses (some of you big broads ain't got no biz wearing 'em either!)! Please go buy some sunglasses that fit the shape of ya damn face!

WHAT I LEARNED TODAY BOUT MY YOUNGER SIS!
LMFAO
A pizza driver took advantage of her at 4am! She and a friend were FUCKED up and had ordered a pizza. Dude showed up after they passed out. She answered the door, took the pizza and dropped it 3-4 times. (cheese all ova the box). THEN... the pizza dude tried to hand her the soda and she dropped it. He started to pick it up for her and she told him, "Nah, dude... just leave it... " and she proceeded to kick and roll it to the kitchen. The total was $16 and she paid him and told him to keep the change THINKING she gave him a $20. Pizza dude grinned like the Cheshire Cat and said, "Thanks!" Sis said she thought, "WTF are you so damn happy about?" Next day she's heading to a local Myrtle Beach bar and can't find her $50 bill! Hmmm... No wonder Pizza Dude was so damn happy! lol
Lesson: If you're drunk... have someone else manage your money! LMFAO

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2005-09-14T15:58:00.000-07:00

I am so fucking sleepy! I haven't slept much in the past two days due to my sister's new news. Maybe I need to see the doctor about a sleep aide. Better yet... anyone got some they can just GIVE me? Meds are hella expensive nowadays!

Sister's news:
Monday, 5pmish, my mom calls. I can hear the stress and the holding back of tears in her throat. She goes on to tell me that sis couldn't begin the new treatments on Monday, because her veins would not cooperate (they either collapsed or rolled). Sis's neurologist called on Monday and told her that there are 12 new spots on her brain. She was to see the neurologist on Tuesday, but I have yet to speak to anyone to learn of any new news from Tuesday.

I called sis this afternoon in order to find out if she was going to choir rehearsal or not, and she was real standoffish. She told me she wasn't going and then got off the phone real quicklike. I'm home... supposed to be to choir rehearsal at 7:30, but am ohsodamntiredandsleepy. My body is calling for my bed, and my heart and mind are calling for God. So... I think what I'll do is praise him in my apartment tonight and take my behind to bed early.

It's humpday. I'm ready for the weekend. I'ma go buy a bottle of NyQuil for the weekend and sleep ALL weekend!!!

**update**
I talked with my dad tonight. Sis talked with neurologist on Tuesday and her hubby talked with the director of cancer something or another in Bethesda, MD. Neurologist suggests that they try another dose of the gammaknife procedure (please take the time to look it up if you wanna know... too tough to explain). However, they are going to have to do some scan with dye on her brain in order to find out if the twelve new spots are tumors. The guy in Bethesda told my bro in law that one of the medications my sis was taking for her cancer could cause lesions within the blood vessels that surround the brain... sooo... these spots could be lesions (I hope and pray, I hope and pray). IF... by God, please don't let it be... these spots ARE tumors... well... the neurologist suggests that my sister NOT go through with another gammaknife procedure. There's still HOPE!
BTW... my parents live in North Myrtle Beach, SC... and Ophelia grazed them today. They reported minor debri and an uprooted HUGE plant across the street in the neighbors' yard. I'm thankful that Ophelia was not too furious! Over 100,000 residents in NC are without power. Let's pray and hope that their power will be restored within the next few days! It's still HOT over here!!!

My Weekend

2005-09-11T15:03:00.000-07:00

Started out on Friday... and in a positive way.
I'm re-evaluating some things that I do in life and am looking towards changing some of my ways (ty mnm).

Saturday:
We took our clients (my job) to Carowinds! We had a really good time. I hit all but three roller coasters, but got to ride the two that I was looking forward to riding (TopGun and Borg the Assimilator). MAN... The Borg was the shiznit!!! U get in sitting up, they lay you flat, then you climb to the top of the coaster facing the sky, then, as you drop, it spins you over where you're facing the ground the entire way so you feel like you're flying! Man.. I swear... it was the BESTESTEST rush ever! I didn't come down for a good hour after that ride, and I saved it for last! What a way to end my day! I'm looking forward to going back, but was glad I could go with the job and get in the park for free! LOL

I got home from work around 5:30 just in time for the kickoff of the S. Carolina vs Georgia game. I swear... we (S. Carolina) shoulda won that game! We played really well against Georgia, but we made too many errors. Syvelle Newton's 15 yard penalty kicked our ass first. THEN... we missed several interceptions where the ball hit the player right in the numbers, the QB overthrew several touchdown passes, and Josh damn missed the damn extra point after our first touchdown. NOT to mention that we did NOT get our 2 pt. conversion. So... we suck up another loss to damn Georgia (15-17). Oh well. Time to focus on next week's game: Alabama vs S. Carolina.

Sunday:
I worked today. I took my clients to see BATMAN BEGINS. Hmmm... this movie started out slow. I kept fidgeting to stay awake cuz I was so bored, BUT it eventually picked up. I would NOT go to see this again. I just got home (6:10pm) and I stopped by the gas station on my way home to put a LIL BIT ($11 worth) of gas in my tank (I know he's yelling at my ass, cuz that $11 did not do a damn thing!). As I pulled up, I looked ahead and there was a gold minivan with this familiar, redbone with freckles, in shape, beautifulhazeleyedfineassmuthafucka pumping gas into the vehicle. I checked out the ring finger, and he was married, so I was really wondering who he was after I did tha triple take. I was shocked, cuz he did a triple take too! We never said a word to each other, because he was with his family, but we kept eyeing each other as if we were communicating to each other, "I know I know you. Who are you?" I believe his name is Phil, and I'm glad he found someone he could marry, but I can't remember where I know him from. I KNOW his name is Phil. AND... I'm 99.9996% sure that I met him when I was friends with this girl named Tae-Ryun in college. BUT... I can't remember if he's her best friend, or he used to holla at her, or if he used to holla at me. Phil was looking REAL good! And I was looking my best too! THANK GOD! I hate it when I run into a man from my past and I'm in my "it's laundry day" gear, and I wasn't today (this usually doesn't happen). I just don't want a man from my past to think I'm doing bad... sheeit... I always go out looking my best! I do my BEST to NOT go anywhere in sweats, unless they are form fitting or booty shorts, cuz dangit, I'm not ugly, and I'm not gonna have one of my ex's saying to one of his boys, "Yeah, I saw Ashley today. Man, I'm glad I let her ass go, cuz she looks like bootydo now." FUCK THAT! I'ma be the one talking shit, cuz I'ma always look good! heehee So, I pumped my gas in my "oh so sexy" stance, and continued to look at him all weird like "I Know your ass muthafucka!" BUT... I'm glad I noticed his ring before I let on to him knowing me! BUT HE was funny! He kept looking at me when his wife would look away to let me know that he knew me too. When he got in the van to take off, he looked back in the side view mirror, pulled around the other side of the tanks, stopped behind mine, then crept off and snuck another look and grinned, like he had figured out who I was. LOL THEN... as he pulled onto the highway, he put his hand out of his window, low beneath the window, and waved while grinning. OK... THAT shit ate me up! CUZ.... after I got in my car to carry my beautiful behind home, I felt like I was stuck in a pot of 5 minute old grits trying to swim to the rim of the pot to pull myself out! I HAD TO FIGURE OUT WHO THIS DUDE WAS! So... my memory is flashing a million miles a minute from 1995-present... and BOOM... it hit me. That's Phil! BUT WHERE THE FUCK DO I KNOW HIM FROM? TAE? BRANDY? Hell no... not Brandy. She never hung around FINE men. Gotta be Tae. When we went out... we were always escorted by the finest. Brandy always wanted a white man... no lite skinneddddeedddd brothas with freckles for Brandy. That's my type anyway. Did we used to holla? Man... where did we meet? But damn... he's a sneaky muthafucka doing alla that in front of his wife. Glad I'm not with him! I know his name is Phil... and if he hasn't figured out who I am... I know it's killing him just like it's killing me. He prolly gonna go call some peeps to try to figure out who I am... which is what I was going to do, BUT the people I currently kick it with... I didn't kick it with when I hung with Tae. Damnit... PHIL, WHERE IN HADEEZ DO I KNOW YOU FROM? I know I was in college... I'm just glad I figured out your name. OMG! Was he the one I threw my panties over the balcony to yelling, "These are what you wanted! Take them... this is the closest you'll get! You fucking asshole! You'll never be able to get these!" Damn... I think it was. But something tells me it isn't. If it is him... I'm seriously happy that I ain't fuck with him! LOL Cuz he's showing that he is STILL sneaky AND that was... ummm... 1999. Man.. I wish I had made him speak in front of his wife now... made him introduce me and shit. Cuz now this shit is irritating the hell outta me!

The past always comes back to haunt your ass! LOL

DEDICATED TO MNM

2005-09-09T08:56:00.000-07:00

YEAH, YOU! lol.....
I wanna make it known that although you (all bloggers who frequent my site) may read about many a male in my blog... this does NOT mean that I am dating them. LOL NOR am I doing the do with them. LOL Although, some of them I would like to do the do with... LOL BUT... most of them are my homies and I could NEVER see myself risking my friendship with them!

My last date was three weeks ago. And... I had a lot of fun with dude! We went to Baileys (a sports bar), watched a preseason game, had some drinks, went to see The 40 Year Old Virgin, returned to Baileys and drank some more, then he took me home, and he went home. We saw each other twice more, but it wasn't a date. We met at my house after work and just shot the shit together. Some men are better off as friends.

Since February I have decided that I just don't wanna have sex with Tom, Dick, and Harry, but I do have a cut buddy (bootiecallman). He's able to fulfill my sexual desires when I need to break the glass, and well... we're cool like that too! However, we have made it known that if ONE of us decides to become serious with someone, the bootiecalls come to a screeching hault. This fool called me all summer while he was in MD on summer break to make sure that I wasn't getting serious with anyone. He just KNEW I was going to have a boyfriend by the time he got back to SC. NO such luck on my part.

BUT... My eyes are and have been set on G since May. However, I'm having to resort back to my "He's Just Not That Into You" book at the section where it discusses: "He's just not that into you if he does not call you. If he says he's too busy with work to call you OR to make time to see you, he's just not that into you." Ya'll, I know he's busy, but damn... we talked EVERY day at least 2-3 times a day after bike week up until the end of June. I don't know what happened... but... damn. I miss him! He's just NOT that into me n e more.. I guess. We talk at least twice a week... but that's it. So... I'm doing my best to move forward and to be cautious as I continue to date. G has just set a standard for men now... and... well... I'm starting to believe that there is NO one better than him. He's well groomed, takes care of his son, has no drama in his life, is goal oriented, is a hard worker, knows how to have fun, is laid back, down to earth, loves his family, etc etc etc... And... well... just the sound of his voice gives me butterflies! Howeva... I don't know what to do as far as he and I go. I'm trying to show him that I want him... but I feel like I'm failing, because he doesn't call like he used to.... anyway... moving on...

I am propositioned daily by men.... to have one as a cut buddy, to have one as a sugadaddy (I could use that, but no thanks), to be treated to dinner (free meals are always accepted), to have be a friend... etc... And... damnit... I turn a lot of them down! Why?

lol... man...

Some of them are too old! 38 is my cut off age!
Some of them are too young! 23 is the youngest!
Some of them are NOT attractive! NO, I will NOT date you if you are wearing fronts (gold teeth on the bottom OR top of ya jaws) Seriously... I met this one dude, and he was FOINE! Then he smiled and ummm... damn... his looks got all screwed up due to his fronts! He pulled them out to show me that he takes care of his mouth, and man... he had some pretty ass teeth! I tried to talk to him about how he was more attractive without the fronts, but he wasn't trying to hear it. His smile was BEEEEEYOOOUUUUTEEFUL without the fronts! But... he wants to wear them.. so he got turned down.
more unattractives: blueblack men... I can't get down with ya! I wanna be able to find you in the dark!

Rough looking skin... like you popped every bump that appeared on your body and each bump u popped scarred your skin... KEEP MOVING!

NO car having muhfukkas... man... "I don't want no scrub"... I don't wanna have to drive ALL the time!

Still living at home with ya momma at 25 and older asses! Ummm... can you puhleeze show me that you can take care of yourself? This is different if you moved your mom into YOUR home, because u need to take care of her!

"I got a girl but things aren't working out with us" muhphukkas! UGH! How about you get back at me when you break up! I ain't gonna be ya otha woman! Find someone else!

"I'm separated, but not divorced, yet" types... ummm... YOU ARE STILL FUCKING MARRIED! Keep moving in the direction of LEFT field! When you get ur divorce papers... THEN you can talk to me.

"I was locked up for something stupid"... well... u did it... u served... and u won't be serving me!

SMOKERS... yeah... I smoke a cigarette every now and then... last one was in May. However... u can be fine as Christopher Williams, put a cigarette to your lips, and umm... sorry... u became ugly. I prefer to NOT kiss an ashtray.

Fat men... I'm just NOT attracted to a man who is 6feet300lbs... keep moving to the gym... I don't wanna have to search thru ya rolls to touch you.

Buck tooth looking like Buckwheat mofos! Please... do NOT step to me!

Dirty shoes wearing mofos... ummm... if ya shoes are dirty... what bout the rest of ya?

Dirty hands... ummm... if you're a mechanic OR u have to use your hands at work (this does not include computer techies)... it's cool... but damn... if your hands are dirty because you don't wash them... YUCK!

Out in public wearing a wife beater... ummm... if you got on pressed jeans and some clean shoes... I might give you a break. Otherwise... step off!

And there are many more.....
So, see... dating isn't easy for me. Well, it could be if I didn't have standards and lowered the characteristics I want in a man. Yes I get propositioned every day... but... I have turned down more men in my life than a maid turns down sheets in a hotel daily. I'd rather be single than to settle for something I'd be unhappy with in life.

Heck.. I remember one date I had...
He was a cutie! We went to dinner at a local diner in B'more (Double T's). We sat down... ordered drinks... and umm... there was this ODD silence! I kept trying to start a conversation, but dude couldn't keep up! I watched him play with his straw in his drink the entire meal. I guess he may have been nervous, but damn, don't let it show! Plus, his driving scared tha patookie outta me! It had been snowing and the roads were still covered... he's flying down the highway, burning rubber around the corners, and I seriously believe we fishtailed the whole way to the restaurant. Man... I was holding that OH SHIT handle the entire way! And u best believe I made sure my seatbelt was on tight! So... after dinner, he drove me home. He walked me to my door, leaned in for a kiss... and... I gave him the swoop the head to the side hug and smooch on the cheek. That was the end of that.

Other dates went well, but afterwards the man was always trying to get in my pants. I remember one guy saying, "I bought you dinner, give it up!" I slammed the door in his face.

Seriously... why can't two people go on a date, enjoy each other's company, continue to date, get to know one another better, and allow things to just happen between them?

What's IN YOURS?

2005-09-08T16:14:00.000-07:00

First of all, let me update all of you on my older sis's situation:
She talked with her oncologist on Wednesday, and they had a conference with an oncologist/melanoma specialist in California (the blessing of technology) and she decided to try a treatment that has been used out there. We do not know the name of it, but it is a six week treatment... NO time off from the treatment. She begins the treatment on Monday and it will continue for six weeks. please pray that the treatments are effective! I also learned on Wednesday, that she has a lump in the upper area of her right leg, on her chest, and on her back. The cancer is trying to take over, but we are hoping that with the right treatment we can beat this nasty fukker! After choir practice on Wednesday night, my sister (we attend the same church and are in choir together) got in the car and ya'll, I had to fight back tears the whole way to her house. She has lost so much weight! Her shorts looked like they were going to fall off of her! Her legs are becoming so bony... it reminds me of how my grandmother looked in the nursing home before she died.... just withering away. BUT... for my sister's sake, I remained strong and did NOT break in front of her. Please... pray hard and strong for her AND her family! She's also not herself. On the way home we were talking about how hard it was to see how fast a car was coming towards you at night, depending on their headlights and after I said something about a car's headlights she says, "NO. All I wanna do is go home and sleep." Her patience are thin and the brain tumors are causing strange behaviors... I've even noticed how my niece has changed. She's 8 and is the sweetest thing and WAS a momma's girl. I've noticed that when she's home and her mom is awake, she tends to withdraw from the room where her mom is, but I don't know why. I know that my sister is yelling more and has outbursts that make no sense due to the brain tumors, so this may be affecting my niece. Just... seriously... know that things are NOT easy around here and pray for extra strength, patience, and understanding for those of us affected by my sister's behaviors, as well as, healing for my sister.

OK... NOW on to something FUN!
I came home early from work because my stomach has been cramping like something is in there ripping at my insides, and on the way home, I was thinking about something fun to blog about and of a subject where you all could still learn something about me... so.... HERE GOES!

11 Things in my bathroom medicine cabinet
bottle of extra strength tylenol
manicure kit
blister pads
alcohol (the rubbing kind)
coughdrops
immodium (prefer it over pepto bismal)
TUMS
peroxide
plastic cups from Microtel, Best Western, and The Polo towers in Vegas
suntan oil
AND
energy enhancing dietary supplements (VITAMINS)... and they're still good... hmmm... I need to start taking them again

OK... I'm tagging Luke Cage, Brotha Buck, Grayse, Princess, and Leon... WTF is in YOUR medicine cabinet??? If you ain't got one... what's in your bathroom???? OTHER THAN soap, shampoo, towels, and any other NORMAL bathroom supplies....

GREAT END TO LABOR DAY WEEKEND... then...

2005-09-06T16:33:00.000-07:00

Saturday:
I learned that I have a new crush on someone! Mayor Ray Nagin! Not only is he a sexy ass man, but... Man... after he spoke his peace, he gained a whole lotta new respect from me AND he became more attractive! *drooling* There's just something about a sexy ass good looking man taking care of business that does it for me! (remembering how I reacted after watching G win the drag race) I didn't make it to the beach on Saturday. I was just enjoying laying around doing NOTHING on Saturday! Sometimes it just feels soooo good to do absolutely NOTHING! heehee

Sunday:
After my girl got off work, we hit the beach for a few hours. It was so nice and relaxing! The waves crashing, the sand under your feet, the smell of the saltwater as the wind blows, and watching the surfers. It was a great way to end my Sunday. When we left the beach, we took the golfcart to Walmart then to TGI Fridays to visit some friends. Much fun was had!

FYI: I felt like I spent the weekend in THE HAMPTONS with all the golf cart riding, being surrounded by folks riding their golfcarts to and from the beach, these Asian kids on their racer scooters with the horns on them... AND being around all these rich white folks! *so this is what it feels like*

Monday: I hit the beach early, cuz me and Mom were pulling out around 4pm to head back to Columbia. I got a few chapters read in THE BEACH HOUSE (a book about a murder in THE HAMPTONS - how appropriate) and enjoyed the crashing of the waves and the sand under my feet for a few hours. Mom and I passed several ARMY convoys on I-20. They were on their way to LA to help with the hurricane relief. I wanted to honk the horn of the truck as we rode past them and wave to show my support, but damnit... I didn't wanna scare them! LOL So... I just looked into each vehicle as we passed them and smiled... I was driving damnit! LOL I returned home, in Columbia, around 8pm.

Why so late? I got back to Columbia around 7pm Monday evening... As Mom and I pulled up to my sister's house, we noticed my nephew and my bro in law looking under the hood of my car. I thought, "Aww... they washed my engine too!" I had told my niece and nephew that I would pay them each $10 if they washed my truck while I was out of town. They definitely washed my truck... and my 13 year old nephew... ummm... thought he had turned the key all the way off and kill't'uhdded my battery. So, we jumped my car as Mom and I pulled up and I let it charge. LOL Poor kid. Niece and nephew got paid for doing a damn smashing job on my truck! That thing was glimmering! They vacuumed the inside, organized the things I have in the back of my truck (tools and car washing items), forgot to clean the inside of the windows tho, they DID wipe down the leather seats with the armorall leather wipes, and used the regular armorall wipes on the vinyl in the car. I was so proud of them. As I'm leaving... My nephew had to show off his weight lifting skills. Man.. this lil 13 year old, scrawny, Opie looking boy has the guns of a damn... man... let's just say he got some guns (he's playing JV football)!!! I'd still fight his fights for him tho! I'd hate for him to get in trouble! LOL

My holiday weekend officially ended this morning when I returned to work. (wiping tear from eye)

Howeva... I did learn that there is a bikers rally and drag racing in Lancaster, SC in October (14-16) if any of you bikers are interested in attending! I think it will be a lot of fun to be had!!! YES! I'ma be there!!! If you are interested in attending, please let me know!

Later in the day I crushed on a cashier at a local grocery store! MAN... got dayum! He looks like my boy Gonzie, BUT Gonzie gets the cake when it comes to looks! This man favored Gonzie, but didn't have the freckles and the cashier's eyes were a lil more chinky than my boy's. BUT YA'LL... this boy... would make me shop here EVERYDAMNDAY! He needed to shave tho. YUK! Nothing turns me off more than a man who has gone a week or two without a cut or shave, and his face looks like it! But ya'll... Vincent, tha cashier, has my attention! I think I'ma see if I can get his weekly work schedule so I can schedule my grocery visits around his schedule... checking out in his lane after shopping can be a very therapeutic thing! AND he's got a beautiful smile!!! MAN OH MAN!

My day went to the shitter when my mom called while I was on lunch break. My older sister visited the oncologist today to have a CT Scan and to get the results of the scan and last week's MRI. BADFUCKINGNEWS!
The brain tumor that had disappeared has resurfaced, the tumors in her lung and liver have grown, and the tumors in her brain have grown. Please continue to keep her, her husband, and her kids in your prayers! She has decided to stop the chemo treatments and has requested that the doctors try to locate another treatment that may work better for her. Please pray that the doctors will be able to locate this treatment! AND... please pray for me. I have just gotten back on the path to reaffirming my faith, and this occured. My doubts are many.

Now... I'ma go pour me a rum and coke... hopefully I'll be able to cry cuz I'm finding it more difficult to show my emotions... maybe I'll write some more towards my book... and... well... eventually... I'll go the fuck to bed!

Later!

THE START OF LABOR DAY WEEKEND

2005-09-03T09:51:00.000-07:00

I arrived to Myrtle Beach, SC last night after 11pm. I drove my parents home from Columbia (my home city). I was going to drive home, then my mom informed me last week that she would be returning to Columbia on Monday, so I was like... hmm... I'll just ride home with them! Good thing too! Cuz when I planned to ride home with them and back, no one knew gas prices would get jackedthafuckup!

My coworker and I decided to start carpooling together on Tuesday. It's just too expensive for the both of us to ride back and forth to work when we live less than 10 minutes from each other AND gas prices are close to $4 a gallon. It will be much cheaper to split the cost of gas at the end of the work week AND for ONE of us to drive each week. Yeah, I'ma have to wake up earlier so I can pick her and her baby up at 9:30 so we can drop off her baby at daycare and get to work on time... but I don't care! Gots to save money somedamnhow~! AND... we'll be conserving gas!

Ok...
so...
I'm in Myrtle Beach. The last time I was here, it was for Biker Weekend over Memorial Day Weekend... when I met G! MMMMM.... *wiping drool from my mouth from the thought of him*

It ain't the same without him! Memories: Waffle House at 4 in tha morning... driving back to his crib at 5:30am... the sun coming up... and the damn birds trying to keep us awake as we were trying to go to sleep between 6 and 7am! We didn't let go of each other ONCE while we were in the bed talking and/or sleeping. I called him when I got to the beach and he and J were on their way to Club Five in DC. Man... I miss them! Have you ever spent time in a city with someone, that someone became special to you, and when you went back to that city without that someone it just sucked? OK... This is where I am right now! The beach is sucking major bootiehole right now! BUT... I was told by G to kick up my feet and enjoy my time... which I was planning on doing anyways! It's 1pm and in an hour, I'm hopping on my parent's golfcart and I'ma zoomzoom to the beach and enjoy my afternoon! The one thing I love about my pool back at MY home is that there is NO sand! I hate the beach sand, because it travels everywhere with you from the beach until you shower. BUT... the sound of the ocean and the feel of the sand under your feet is so therapeutic that I am willing to rough the sand! LOL

This is truly just a rest and relaxation trip. I brought NO club clothes... although you don't really need them here. My goal is to just sit on the beach during the day and maybe visit at night, chill with my parents, kick it with my girl Kara, and SLEEP! I don't have money, cuz I gotta hold on to what I got for gas emergencies. AND... I'm not really feeling the clubs in Myrtle anyway. OK... I'd love to go out and dance, but I can do that and NOT pay a cover charge in Columbia. LOL So... fugga club~! I honestly wanna catch up on sleep and on what's going on in New Orleans. AND... eat alla my momma's food! LOL

Miss ya G (mmm... blackberry cobbler) and J! Wish ya'll were here! For realies!!! I might have to go buy a pack of BOMB POPS just for memory's sake! SMOOCHES!

Ladies:
We all should own a showerhead massager!

THE DEVASTATION

2005-08-30T18:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sure all of you have been watching the news and experiencing the pictures of devastation that Alabama, Mississippi, and, especially, Louisiana have witnessed. I hope that all of you are praying and doing your best to contribute to the needy.

New Orleans is completely under water. The only way you know a house or building is there is the scene of a roof floating in the water. People have been jumping from the nosebleed sections of the SuperDome in order to end their grief. 100 degree heat with NO electricity, food, or water. Can you imagine?

One of the most devastating stories I heard today:
Female Reporter: Sir...
Man with little girl: It's gone. It's all gone.
Reporter: What do you mean it's all gone sir?
Man: My house. It's gone. She's gone. I don't know where she is.
Reporter: Sir, who? What do you mean she's gone? What happened?
Man: My house. It split in half. The water. It came rushing in. I tried to hold on to her. She's gone.
Reporter: Who sir? Who's gone?
Man: My wife. The water came in and I couldn't hold on to her. She told me to let her go and to take care of my kids and my grandkids. She's gone. My house is gone. It's all gone.
Reporter: Crying
Me: crying

I watched people being rescued from their roofs and attics with smiles on their faces, because the Coast Guard was there to help them and take them to safety. My heart continues to cry while thinking about the people who were lost and what these people lost and are continuing to lose.

And what's next? Health dangers. Dead bodies floating in the streets, alligators lurking in the water, people dying from carbon monoxide poisoning, mosquitos breeding west nile disease in the still floods of water, looters.... it's a third world country: no phones, no electricity, no medical help, no food, no water. And the water is sure to rise higher. Levies breaking. Gas leaks. overflowing toilets. raw sewage. Flooding to continue. Scary? Unbelievable? death.

My question is this:
Why didn't the mayor and the governor fight harder to bus the people who did not have transportation OUT of this city? yes. It is possible. When Hurrican Hugo blasted through my home town, the mayor AND governor of SC knew they needed to bus the people in the shelters farther inland. They sent MANY a school bus to all the shelters and around the city in order to bus these people farther inland. Where would they have sent the people of N.O. is the biggest and greatest question. Hopefully, IF N.O. is recovered fully, ever... it's a lesson learned and there will be better evacuation planning for future hurricanes.

And here we are complaining about gas prices going up while precious loved ones are being lost to Katrina and her remnants.

A culture, language, and lifestyle are being destroyed. And here we are complaining about life's simplicities.

Again, a lesson about taking for granted what we are given.

Thanks to brooklyn babe for the insight of it being said that the hurricanes travel the paths of slave ships. If you think about the past hurricanes that have slammed into the coasts, they do hit slave trading towns (Charleston, SC; New Orleans; Miami; Maryland coast; Hatteras, NC and the list goes on). There was a definite angry soul traveling upon Katrina's winds.

Again, please pray and do your best to contribute to the needs of these people! AND... thank God for what you do have and please don't take it for granted!!!!

BAD ASSES

2005-08-28T15:33:00.000-07:00

KATRINA
DANG
She's a bad bitch!
Wide on all her sides!
Destructive!
Powerful!
Destroying everything that stands in her path!
She started out small and grew to be catastrophic!
The Big Easy?
She's BIG, but NOT EASY!
Mobile?
Man... she can move and talk!
Gulfport?
She's gonna swallow everything in sight!
Hurricanes?
man... I always dreamed of drinking one in The Big Easy.
And I'm still hoping that I'll be able to one day!
Losing power as she continues to leave the wetness of her current path and travel to dryer and dryer lands.
BUT... her power decreases SLOWLY. No one can slow her down except the higher being.
She breaks glass at the drop of the wetness she produces.
People swear they ain't scared of her and that they can handle her.
But she's a bad bitch!
I would suggest that in the future, if a bad bitch the size of Florida approaches your home, you run far away!
My thoughts, heart, and prayers go out to those in the path of Katrina!
She's a BAD BITCH!

VMA'S
Were entertaining and peaceful till FAT JOE began to depart the stage and said:
"I just want everyone to know how safe I feel thanks to the security provided by G Unit"
I'm in my seat saying, "DAAAMNN~! FUCK!"
And as he is walking off the stage all u hear are Fuck you's and Fat Joe Fuck You!
I know that the people behind the scenes were yelling "Got to commercial! Fuck! Hurry! Go to a fucking... got dayum I can't believe he did that.... commercial!"

Later in the show, G Unit performs and after they finish, 50 let's Fat Joe know they coming for him. Again, the behind the scenes people were fretting... and I'm sure they were for the rest of the show after Fat Joe left the stage.

I don't understand why these so called "hard core rappers" have to fight with one another. They are all out there doing the same thing... making music to make money. Why can't they just accept each other's differences and move on. Enjoy each other's music and learn from one another?

INSTEAD... we're going to be hearing about Fat Joe's ass being shot or shot at, because... IF ya'll didn't see the VMA's last night... and unless Fat Joe's fingers are quick on the trigger, 50 is FUCKING HUGE! I mean... damn... his upper arm is as big as my damn calf! I got some thick calves, ya'll! Okay... his arm is as big as my thigh, not my calf.

Anywho...
I wasn't too impressed with the performances... not many of the current stars are really all that talented.

Shakira was the shiznit! I love her!

Destiny's Child didn't win shit... and I loved it. I loved it when they zoomed in on Beyonce's face and she was looking like "ummm what?" Eat that humble pie girl!

I don't know who that chick was wearing the fredericks number... but damn... she coulda got it!

Mariah did a better job singing. As long as she stands still she can sing. But... I coulda dealt without her ass jumping in the water and splashing around.

R. Kelly sang the newest chapter to In The Closet... let's just say the gay husband came to his damn hetero senses! Stupid fucker!

MC Hammer performed... Will I Am from The Blackeyed Peas had to take his glasses off and rubbed his eyes in order to believe it was Hammer. It was! Hammer hasn't lost a step!

And of course... what's Miami without UNCLE LUKE!!! AND his booty rump shakers! I WANNA ROCK I WANNA ROCK... shake it shake it, pop that... ahem ahem...

moving on

I think I am going to start listening to More Coldplay and that weird group that sings Helena. And Green Day... I've always loved them! They won 7 of the 8 categories they were nominated for!

Hmmm... what else....

Diddy gave a Jacob of Jewelers phat ass watch to one of the kids in the pit. That's was cool! Security took it from the kid and gave it back to Diddy and Diddy apologized to the kid and informed everyone that he really meant for the kid to have the diamond studded watch, and gave the kid the watch, again! Diddy won some kool points with me.

Snoop and Gwen Stefani won 100grand each to donate to their charity of choice since they were 'best dressed'. I think their wardrobe sucked! I woulda chose Shaq and the girl with the fredericks see thru.

Destiny's Child was LATE.

John Legend AND Common were looking like... *drooling*... damn! I want Common to get a moon man one year!

Ludacris won his first moonman AND was humble about it!

Can someone PLEASE tell me why Sway (the VJ) insists on wearing those stupid ass hats on his head instead of allowing his dreads to flow freely? I bet he'd be sexier without the damn thing on his head!

Paris damnimablonde Hilton... ugh! Will someone please shoot her and put her out of her misery? AND MINE!

Was Kelly Clarkson REALLY America's Idol? I know she can sing... but ummm... what was all that yelling last night? She scared me.

And I was impressed with how Miami recovered so quickly from Katrina's passing by. I was truly entertained AND there were times that I could have been found sitting on my couch, screaming yea's, and clapping. I loved the water surrounding the stage... although there were some technical difficulties with the walkthrough water bows.

WHAT A WAY TO TRAVEL!
Hmmm... I wonder if the cannonball dude had to get it approved by BOTH sides of the border to be shot across the Mexican border. This old white man was shot out of a cannon from ONE side of the border to the other! Gives new meaning to crossing the border! Seems a lot faster too... and less secure. He even carried his passport with him, just in case! Glad he hit the net... cuz that would have been one landing in the sand!

IT'S SATURDAY EVENING

2005-08-27T17:37:00.000-07:00

Here are my random thoughts that keep crossing my mind this evening!

Damn... I wish I was at the bike show... but not really... I just wanna be riding with someone on the back of the bike... enjoying each other's company... enjoying feeling the freedom of riding the bike... laughing with one another at redlights... holding on tight while we riding wheelies... I need a man with a bike.

I wanna know what it's like to be in love... LONGTERM

Damn... I wanna go do something.... ain't shit to do tho.

Ain't shit on television...

Damn... I really don't feel like bloggin'

Guess I'll create a new CD

Damn... why did I leave B'more?

I wonder what.... a whole lot of peoples is doing (G, Kim, Kara, Erica, Keith, Lex, Grayse, Frank, Rosean, GG, Mai, Mike - damn he logged on, Lynn - that bitch is up in the hamptons living it the fuck up this weekend, and various others)

Oh... I'm cuttin' that muthafucka off! No he didn't say "I'd be aight..." after I was messin' with him about having another female's butt on my seat on his bike! LMAO... seriously... he's on restriction! Nah, fuck that. He's cut the fuck off! FOREVA!

I really wanna fall in love, be in love, and stay in love....

I wish I had a man that wanted to spend his weekend free time with me. Hmmm... I wonder what we'd be doing right now... movies? cuddling? eating? the park? damn.

Madagascar really wasn't all that funny.

The 40 Year Old Virgin was hilarious!

I wanna go to the movies...

Cher is the shit... "Do you believe in life after love? I can feel something inside me say... I really don't think you're strong enough!" LOL Fuck you! I'm strong enuf!

Fukkin Anon and damn Demo went to VA Beach and didn't invite me! fukkers Anon BETTA take me riding when he gets back! lol

Man... this slow shit is depressing... ok... I can jam to that! (Click Five... Just the girl)

I'd be doing the same shit if I still lived in MD... but at least Erica would be around the corner and I could go fuck with the dogs and talk shit to her man.

wonder if they'll cancel the VMA's with Katrina reaking havoc in FL?

Glad I'm working tomorrow... or I'd be bored all ova again! I should go riding and see if I can find a bike to ride. What I really need to do is buy my own! I can't believe that fucker said that to me! JERK. lol

Diddy... ugh... why do people have to change their names... sheeit.

WELCOME TO JAMROCK! WTF was he thinking? I guess he needed money fast.

I could work out... but I really don't feel like it

Welcome to jamrock! lmao

Man... my ex's are assholes. Glad I got rid of them! And that fukin DJ was married the whole damn time. JERK!

Grayse seems cool as shit! Man... I hope I get to make it to VA for that meetup! That would be a whole lotta fun!

I wish it would rain! Then those fuckers would have to get off their bikes! lol I'm so evil. The rain would match my damn mood too!

I'm really NOT looking forward to job hunting on Monday, BUT I need a part time gig! And the extra cash would be great!

Great! WTF does HE want? *answers phone* OF course... he wants to come over, he wants some bootie..... uuuuggghhh! NO, hell no!

awww... he's so cute! Too bad he's in ATL! hmmm... he could prove to be worth some road trips tho! And my girl travels to ATL to see her man... we could carpool. Wow... he's got great lips... and look at his lil nose! awww.... he's got some great genes! I could get lost in him... look at his bedroom eyes.

I wanna see G. I miss him.

I'm such a hoe. lmao. Kim... what you think? Nevamind... don't answer that.(smooches... hey Winta!!!! I miss our college days ya'll!)

Man... '97-'99 was the sheeit! Those were the best years of my life thus far!

Why THE FUK am I single? Man... someone great MUST be coming my way!

I'm like fucking Samantha in SEX AND THE CITY! Sheeit... I ain't trying to be lonely like her ass!

Why do people slow down these damn songs... slim thug sounds retarded in slo mo. tiiipppppiiiiinn fooooooeeeee foooooooeeeeee's.... miiiike jones I'm miiiiike jones...

I wish I was at the beach with Kara! I coulda gone mud boggin today! 4wheelin and dirt bikin! damnit

*unda the boardwalk... out in the sun... unda the boardwalk,we'd be fallin in love... unda the boardwalk, boardwalk* I love that song! Ahhh... the family roadtrips. I miss my daddy!

If I went to Caribana or somewhere in Luda's song... would I see him? Hmmm...

Must be nyce to be so fuckin wealthy... fuckers.

*I know you been searching for someone... to satisfy you... and give you so much more!* You damn right Fat Joe! I wanna know what it's like to be in love damnit!

Fuck this blog. I'm done for now!

Sex ED

2005-08-22T11:38:00.000-07:00

Human Sexuality
Ok. I watched a show on TLC last night about Human Sexuality and learned some stuff. I learned that the reason men cheat is 'cuz it's in their genes/nature to procreate/reproduce. Ummm... Does that excuse their cheating behaviors? HELL NO! lol Since the beginning of time and their life they have been waiting to stick their lil dip stick into a vagina so that they can let their lil beings swim and try to live to make a baby.

I also learned the the females' clitoris has more nerve endings than any other place in her body! HINT MALES! ahem... hint muthafukkas! The clitoris has 8000, YES... 8000 nerve cells! HMMM... and u men wonder why we want you to focus on the "little man on the boat"! It's cuz that is our MAIN pleasure principal! LOL

MEN: Did you know that when your penis is limp, it's actually tense? YES... when your penis is in it's erect state, it is the most relaxed! And... AHEM... LADIES! The harder the man's penis becomes, the more relaxed the penis becomes! Work your magic ladies!!! Nitric Oxide (no... not the laughing gas although that hard thing can be funny looking at times) fills the tissue around the penis which makes it become hard... NOT JUST BLOOD... DUH! (grabbing forehead and sighing)

AND... I learned, and was truly amazed, that sexuality is all driven by the mind. Men... u all can have sex almost wheneva you want. Ladies... and, AHEM... MEN (please pay attention) females cannot just up and decide to have sex... sometimes they have to fantasize about it during their day to jump ya bones as she walks in the house, if she's anxious about something... cancel the sex, basically, wheneva the females' emotions are not driven in a happy manner... cancel sex. And... ummm... seriously... if you want your woman to have a REAL orgasm, you gotta indulge in foreplay! It takes a lot to get the vagina penetrating/vibrating/contracting to induce the moisture/wetness. You can hit the hotspots (G spot, clitoris *dingdingding*, nipples, and high on the neck below the ears. STAY AWAY FROM A FEMALES EARS... UNLESS she tells you to lick them or breathe in them. If you wanna hit the ears... place your mouth right above her ear next to the canal, take a deep breath right next to the ear. DO NOT BLOW IN IT! A female can become HIGHLY aroused by you taking breaths next to her ear, the sound, and the feeling of the air moving around the ear gets to her. You'd be surprised at how many women you failed to allow orgasm. They faked it cuz they were tired of it or just weren't feeling it and wanted you to get it over with.

Not me... If you suck... I'm gonna tell you to hurry up, get yours, stop trying to impress me, and kick ya ass out OR if I'm at your place, I'ma leave! Now THAT'S real!

I was gonna post about a whole lot of stuff... but it can wait. This is enough!

Men... do your job! Make your woman stay with you! Sex is a HUGE part of a relationship... like it or not!

CASE OF THE X

2005-08-20T09:16:00.000-07:00

First of all... WHY THE FUCK ARE ALL MY EX'S RESURFACING RIGHT NOW? EX'S ARE EX'S FOR A DAMN REASON! And last night... the one that I loved and could have loved for life resurfaced. My first thought: "If Time damn Warner had done what they were supposed to do and turn off the fucking digital phone, this muthafucka would not have been able to contact me! FUCK!"

Flashback:
It's 1999 and I'm walking to my Biology class. It's 10:51 AM and I'm walking through the courtyard of campus and as I look ahead I see this tall, model material looks, chocolate, low haircut, well-dressed brotha walking my way. I think: "Who the fuck is that!? He's new!" As I get closer we make eye contact, smile at one another, and even do a doubletake to where we're looking backwards at each other. We continued to walk towards our destinations, and from that day, on Biology class day, I made sure that I walked past that spot at the same time everydamnday. We did this staring thing for a few weeks and I was asking my girls about this new dude on campus. They couldn't figure out which tall dude I was talking about, because there were three new basketball players.

CAUTION LIGHT!
Since I started attending Lander University in 1995 I was warned to stay away from the basketball team. Lander doesn't have a football team, so the basketball boys were the ish on campus. They were/and prolly still are the Michael Vicks, Kobe Bryants, Jamal Lewis's, and Allen Iversons of the campus. NOT ONE of them were ugly! BUT... until 1999 I kept my distance and NEVER talked with the basketball team. Why? Cuz all the chicks wanted 'em. And I wasn't getting caught up in that mess!

So... Mr. Basketball Player (u may remember him from a previous post) and I stared each other down 3 times a week every week until October. We didn't SEE each other for the first time until the 2nd week of September.
Zeta Phi Beta sponsored a bachelor auction and I attended (October)... cuz I attended all their events, because I planned to pledge Zeta (never happened... I'm my own damn person... I don't need a group to tell me or others who I am *no offense to reigning frats and sorors*). Well... all the regular pretty muthafuckas were in the auction and I laughed my ass off at how the females went berzerk over them. These men weren't shit but a bunch of playas. And each of them had tried to holla at me! Two of them had girlfriends and the girlfriends paid madd cash for they asses just to keep another female away from their man. The prize for the winning bidder was a date with the bachelor. So... I'm laughing and having a good time... KNOWING I wouldn't bid on anyone and.... "Holy fucking shit! That's him" were my thoughts as this tall, fine ass muthafucka walked onto the stage! I got all nervous and looked at my girl and said, "That's who the fuck I've been asking you about!" Well, she told me his name and I was just in awe. Let's just leave his name out of it... but I'll give you a clue: there used to be a black and white cartoon on nickelodeon about this kid who wore glasses. Anywho... the bidding started and before I knew it... my hand flew STRAIGHT in the damn air and bid $8. Three females bid after me, and again, my damn hand, and I'm looking at my arm like WTF get down here by my side MUTHAFUCKA, and won the bid with $20. However, Mr. basketball player didn't know I had made the last bid and looked at me, pointed, and said, "I know you got 25". I shook my head and just smiled.

After the auction I saw him walking down the stairs with a female that I hated! And this bitch was carrying a child. my immediate thought: FUCK NO! He told her to wait outside and the female and I gave each other a "eat shit and die" look. He sat down next to me, introduced himself, I introduced myself, exchanged phone numbers, and departed the auction. He called me 2 hours later and, yup, you damn skippy I questioned him about that bitch! He told me that he had met her two weeks ago after a party (damnit I knew I shoulda gone to the damn delta party) and that they were just friends, no serious ties. I was like, ok... cool... I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. He proceeded to tell me that he had just exited a serious relationship in VA, because he transferred to Lander from VCU. Man... I was happy as hell he transferred. Well... he ended up coming over to my room. While I was waiting for him, I was on the phone with all my girls... cuz Lander had three way calling... and shouting my excitement thru the phone. As I was talking about the auction, I looked to my right and here he comes on his bike riding down the hill. I was in awe all over again! I couldn't believe how BEEUUTEEFUL this man was! So... we went into my dorm room... I lived in the upper class dorms and we had our own rooms, shared the bathroom. And it all started from there.

There were occasions after we first met that I questioned his friendship with that bitch. God how I hated her!!!

Well... one afternoon, between classes, I was chilling with Mr. basketball playa in his room, and he got a phone call from his "friend". She had heard it through the grapevine that I was in the room with him and she was pissed. I wasn't his girl so I played it cool. He basically told her to fuck off and that he was a grown ass man and could have whoeva visit him and hung up on her. So, basically, she wasn't his girl yet. This bitch was bold tho! She came marching up into his room 10 minutes later and shoved past him into the bedroom where I was. Before she came in there all I heard was, "Where the fuck is she? Why the fuck is she in your bedroom if she's just visiting?" I was thinking... "GOT DAYUM IT! I don't need this shit!" And I continued to be relaxed and spread out all ova his bed, fully clothed, watching Maury. She asked me WTF I was doing there and I looked at her and said, "Chillin... visiting a friend. What you doing?" All polite and shit like nothing was wrong. LMAO She got even madder. U got NO right to be here! I said, "I got just as much right as you do. Pull up a chair!" Man, she was furious. I had already located ole boy's timbs that I was gonna use to knock this bitch out if she decided to lunge for me, cuz I ain't fucking up my hands and not a damn soul is gonna fuck up my face. Well, Mr. basketball playa came into the room, grabbed ole girl by the elbows, picked this big ass heffa up and threw her out the door and told her to calm the fuck down. You could hear her crying and wanting explanations... and all I heard was silence and an occasional... "you aren't my girl". Well... that was ONE of the highlights of the three years me and mr. basketball playa kicked it.

Let's just sum it up with: He has two baby mommas... I coulda been his third, but I took the alternate route. Both LITTLE GIRLS are a year within age of each other... the oldest being 4 and in MD. And I caught hell with THE BITCH all three years. Each time I spent time with Mr. basketball playa after the first year, I grew more tired and more tired of the drama. I eventually called it quits and when I decided to move to MD, he begged me to stay in SC, because he needed me. Obviously not... and here's why.

He continued to see THE BITCH AND she got pregnant, TWICE. Kinda like how she did her first baby's daddy. She miscarried the first one and carried the one who is here now. And, honestly... the lil girl looks NOTHING like the X... she seriously looks like THE BITCHES first baby daddy. Man, seriously... I could write a book on this three year thang... and even the last two years he's been in and out the picture.

Well.... let's get to last night... cuz ya'll are prolly tired of reading this crap.

My house phone rings and it's the X. I hesitated to answer, but said, "Fuck it!" He wanted to stop by, visit, and see what's been going on. Cool! Stop by I told him.

He was supposed to be here at 10 and, as usual, he was late. The mofo could never be on time. He showed around 11 and stayed for an hour. When I moved back to SC, I found out that he and THE BITCH bought a house together and are living together... so I knew there was never a chance for him and I to ever get our shit back together. Well... I was actually kidding when I asked him, "When ya getting married?" His response: "We haven't set a date yet." Man, my heart dropped. And I knew that I could never see him again as a friend or anything else, because he really is serious about this chick. He continued to tell me that they needed to pay some bills before getting married and would prolly do it sometime next year. I never once congratulated him. I was hurt. Not to mention I had just hung up the phone with G and was disappointed because I am not going to be able to see him this weekend, because his work is piled high. I fought back tears the rest of the hour he visited. I was hurt... why? I don't want him back... I can promise you that. Things he did to me... would never allow me to be with him again. I was hurt because I wanted him to pay for the shit he did to me and I wanted him to hurt like I did... which never happened. BUT... it is happening. He's having to deal with his EX in MD for life because of their little girl, and he hates/despises her. AND... he's not sure that THE BITCHES baby is his... and he'll have to live with THAT for the rest of his life! And the bitch... HA... she gets to live with the fact that she'll NEVER have his only baby! HA HA FUCKING HA! Cuz she and his EX used to fight all the time when the ex came to visit or he went to visit the baby in MD. So... I really got the best end of the deal! I got out when I could, am making a great life for myself, AND am preparing myself for that ONE man that will be mine when the time comes!

When he left, yeah, I cried. But it was tears of joy and over memories. They were goodbye tears. He knew something was wrong with me during his visit. He knew me very well when we were kicking it. But I wasn't letting him in last night. Hell no! He wasn't what was wrong with me, and I didn't want to tell him what was wrong with me, he no longer has the right OR does he deserve to know about ME anymore. He asked what I would be doing on Sunday and said he'd call to see what I was up to.

Man... he can call all he wants. But it's time to close the door on this chapter of my life. It's time for Mr. basketball playa to allow me to perform my disappearing act with him.

POOF! AND HE'S GONE! (hmmm... I wonder what Julius is doing! *a teammate*)

Ahhhh... Julius... AND Lloyd... wow...
If I had only known they were watching me all those years before Mr. Basketball Playa. lol

MAIN REASON FOR TRIP TO MD

2005-08-19T09:06:00.000-07:00

Okay...

So for the past two weeks I have been making plans to go to Baltimore, MD to visit my ex who is "dying". I place this in quotations, because I'm not sure of the sincerity of his claim. Since I moved back to SC from MD back in OCT of 2004, he's been missing the hell out of me, although he did my ass wrong. Dude was married the entire time we dated off and on and failed to tell me this info until January of this year. He even lied about his son... claiming his son was his nephew. So... I made it perfectly clear that he and I would never be together again, whether he was in the midst of a divorce or not. He has filed for divorce, but that's his words. And, well, I'm sorry, but once you lie to me and challenge my trust for you, you usually do not gain my trust again. Yeah, I forgave him, because that's what I do. I forgive people who hurt me. And, eventually, I become their friend, which is what I have done with my ex. To all who know about my deals in MD/DC... I'm talking about the DJ. Well, in June, I learn that his medical condition has worsened. He tells me... via the internet... that the doctor has forbade him to leave the city, because of the fear that he may need immediate medical attention. Now, I'm no dummy, but, umm... can't you receive medical treatment anywhere in the United States? LOL Ok... basically, he's telling me that he does not have long to live, but he can't give me a timeline. Aight... cool...
Mr. DJ has some type of blood disorder (something fibrosis). Well, we talk off and on during the summer and I had planned to go to Vegas this weekend, but after meeting G, I didn't feel it was right to go running off to Vegas with my ex/bestfriend, because I didn't want G to start thinking wrong things (you know how u men get). So, I cancelled/postponed my annual trip to Vegas to visit G this weekend AND to visit my "dying ex". Since G and the X live an hour and some change apart, my X volunteered to pay for a hotel room, because I could not afford the gas AND a room. I could have stayed with my girl Erica, but I didn't feel like dealing with her man and the two dogs. Well... when I discussed the money issue with X he volunteered to pay for gas too. I was like... ummm... that'd be nice and all... but ummm... u aren't the only reason I'm coming up there. You're the secondary reason, because I'd like to see you before you die, but ummm... G is my reason for coming to visit. No, I did not tell him that, but I did decline the gas offer. Well... time went by and August hit and X became more and more excited about me coming to visit. All types of things started flickering in my brain: y is he so excited about me visiting? THEN... a week before my scheduled trip, X starts requesting pictures to "get him by before I arrive". REDLIGHT! Uh... dude... u are sooooooo not getting any booty!

1. You're still married
2. You took abused the opportunity to take advantage of my time when I did live up there (u saw me when it was convenient for you)
3. You lied to me

X: "That's ok. As long as I get to hold you."

Me: "I don't know about alla that."

So... we continued to have "platonic friendship conversations" and I became more and more uneasy about this trip to visit my "dying friend".

Monday... we're online before I leave for work and he states, "I'm wiring you money at lunch."

Me: "For what?"
X: "gas"
Me: "You don't have to, because ur paying for the room"
X: "I'm sending you money"

I left for work and never heard from him again until Thursday after 10AM... when I'm usually at work.

Me: "Where ya been?"
X: "Don't start with me. I don't need this shit."
Me: "I just asked where ya been. I've called you all week hoping that you've been ok."
X: "Didn't I say don't start?"
Me: "Dude. It's cool. If you don't have the money it's cool, because I can't afford the gas to come up this weekend anyway."
X: "I do have the money. I've just been in the hospital. I got out yesterday."

Yet... he's back at work immediately. *scratchin chin* HMMMMMM

Seriously, I'm not driving because I don't have the money for gas.

And now I'm really glad I'm not going, because my instinct tells me homeboy ain't dying and he was trying to find a way to get my ass up there to see him. See... when we were together and he would disappear for two weeks AFTER he was supposed to spend some QT with me and didn't show... he would always claim he was in the hospital. Yet... numerous times I requested him to have someone to call me when he was hospitalized so that I could be there for him. You would have thought it would click! BUT... old habits are hard to kick. And... lying might be his thing. He's not divorced... he's got a kid... and I'm not up for games.

The end of our conversation was...
X: "Glad to see that everything happens for a reason and that YOU are only focused on yourself."
Me: "what? I've been worried and thinking about you all week! did you check your voicemail?"
X: "Have a good weekend and a nice life!"
Me: "Wateva!"

And he logged off!

Yes, I will feel really bad if X is dying. But how the hell will I know until he dies? How do I know he's not making things up in order to get me up there so he can see me? For me... if he was so ill... and needed constant supervision like he claims... he would not be working a fulltime gig AND dj'ing at night AND worrying about paying the bills! I don't know. I just don't know. I do know that I'm angry for allowing myself to even worry about this dude when he clearly doesn't care about communicating his well being with people who do care about him.

What I do know is that I reflected on this situation last night and decided that it's time to weed out my garden ONCE again! I went thru my cell phone and erased all numbers to men who ain't shit but some damn users.

Men... when will you learn that if you're straight up about ya shit... women will respect you more? And damn... give us the chance to at least have a choice in whether or not we want to be involved in the life you currently have built for yourself!

unrelated topic
just wanna share with everyone that the internet is NEVER secure! LOL Even those blog sites that swear no one can visit ya blog without your permission... they are liars! You can search the net and find whateva you want to find! LOL Now.... the places that you visit that place the lil padlock in ya task bar... yeah, those are secure. so... yes... to you bloggers whose blogs I enjoy reading and did NOT inform me of where ya new site is located... I found your asses... nope... I'm not gonna comment, but I did find your asses so that I could continue to get my read/education on!!! heehee
Does that make me a cyberstalker?

CAN'T I JUST LIVE?

2005-08-18T15:07:00.000-07:00

So, I'm off work today thru Monday to return to work on Tuesday.

My plan was to go to MD/DC to visit old friends, new friends, make new friends, and to, of course, visit G. Well, G is going to be closer, hopefully, on Saturday, so I'm not driving 8 hours to MD/DC. AND.. it's a good thing, because my ass can't afford the gas. It would cost me a total of $120 to travel to MD/DC and back to SC. WTF? So... ummm... NO. I am NOT making that trip! I got billz to pay AND I gotta be able to eat until I get paid again... so... I will be remaining home, and if G makes it to NC, then I'll drive to go see him on Saturday. I gotta blog about another MAIN reason for going to MD (a friend of mine claims to be dying), so stay tuned for that one.

Sorry, L.S. Next trip! Sorry, Kim (that's my girl up in Herndon! *waving ferociously* heeeey girl!!! I love you!!!! See you soon!!! smoochez!!! Tell Winta I said hey!). And all you otha mofos... come see my ass for a change! Sheeit. I travel all the damn time... show me that you love ME too damnit! heehee

Sooo....

Since I'm not traveling a great distance this weekend, I took my mom out for lunch. She's in town helping with my older sis's family (older sis is still going thru major chemo/radiation... visit her site for an update... it's to the right of your screen!). We're on our way to Lizard's Thicket (a great down home southern cooking restaurant AND cheap) when she tells me that she has had to start taking a cholesterol pill. My thoughts: "That's phukkin great mom! I'm built just like you, cholesterol is genetically related, and now I'ma have to watch what I eat too!" Man... I love my mom, don't get me wrong, but I really did NOT want to deal with the whole cholesterol thing in life. Now, I gotta. I guess it's better to start when you're younger than when you're older and set in your ways! No more fastfood, fried foods, potato chips, and other things that I enjoy eating... well, not on the regular anyways. AND... well... now she's really got me pressed for going to the doctor so I can get all my shit checked out. Man... I guess it won't be so bad. But I really enjoy fried catfish and fried chicken, lays kettle cooked potato chips, and I enjoy eating at a fastfood restaurant once a month! And damnit... I really love Pizza Hut's pan pizza! man oh man... Here's to a healthier lifestyle! Cheers... BRING ON THE RED WINE!!!!! lmao

Mom and I had a wonderful lunch. It's not too often we get to sit down and visit one on one. I paid for the lunch, and my mom continued to insist that she pay for lunch. I told her that if I was traveling to MD this weekend, she could pay, but I'm not going anywhere, so I could afford a $20 lunch for the two of us. So... she proceeds to say, "Okay, well, at least lemme give you $20." LOL Yeah, mom... then u might as well have paid for lunch. She carried the tip though... I told her not to, but she insisted. We went back to my sister's house and visited a bit longer and played with the dog, because he doesn't get too much attention anymore. I think that golden retriever wore my ass out! But it was so much fun!!! When my older sister returned home from her ALL DAY cancer treatments, she was BEAT, then my niece arrived home from school, private school (another blog topic for me), and I felt like I was a distraction for my niece getting dressed for dance practice, so I dismissed myself. My niece didn't look too happy about me leaving, so I reassured her I would call her later in the weekend.

Now I'm home, and after taking a nap, I feel groggy... so... I'ma go sit on the couch, fix me some tea, and find a sappy movie on demand. I feel the need to cry and can't seem to get it out on my own... so... I'll find a tearjerker to watch!

Stay tuned... I got a whole lot to unleash over the next few days!

DO I GOTTA

2005-08-15T16:10:00.000-07:00

Man... ya'll really don't know how I feel right now. My day was long as hell and I have my weekend to blog about, but I'm not up for it. BUT... I'll condense my weekend
Friday: NOTHING
Saturday: kicked it with a new friend
Sunday: It was Soul Food Sunday... I went to my older sis's house and we all prepared dinner together. I took over a green bean casserole, my nephew helped me peel potatoes, my nephew and I drove in a windy ass thunderstorm to pick up my niece, my broinlaw fried cubed steak, mashed some taterz, made the brown gravy, stirred up some black eyed peas, baked some biscuits, and made some slammin' sweet iced tea! For dessert.... mmmm... my momma brought us some nanna puddin~! We had a good time visiting and cooking together! I look forward to more Sundays like that!!!! My momma also brought fresh tomatoes... so I stole a few... ok... I was given three to bring home with me. She was gonna give me some fried chicken that she brought with her, but I forgot about it. Hell, I fried chicken, made rice and gravy, and cream corn on Saturday. I really didn't need anymore fried chicken.

Today... was long as hell and I'ma list the top 10 things that bugged the shit outta me today!
And it's in random order!

1. drivers whose mouths I could see 200 feet ahead of me cuz of all that gold in they mouth! EEEWWW... don't ya'll know how nasty your gums are gonna get and how your breaf is gonna STANK!?
2. drivers who swerved thru traffic at high speeds in a 40mph zone so they could get to their destination 5 minutes before everybody else
TIE for 3. fat ass people (weighing over 200lbs) trying to turn left across the highway with they bumper in my damn lane so they could get to church's chicken to get fatter~! AND people who are trying to turn ONTO the highway out of a parking lot and don't realize the front end of they car is about to get taken the fugg off cuz they asses can't perceive that their damn front end is in the damn highway! You muthafushutyomouth fools should NOT be driving! A perception test should become part of the driving exam!!!
4. That fuckin county cop who rode my ass for 2 miles.
5. My damn client who had to say everything that was on his damn mind~! STFU (Shut the Fugga UP)
6. This fat ass chick who swore she was so cute, she had to wear that little ass tank top to show her damn stomach rolls
7. Muthafushutyomouth men hawkin' my ass! Leave me the fuggalone! I'm tired of gettin' holla'd at everydamnwhere I go! (But if you didn't holla... I'd think I'd lost my mojo... so thanks)
8. Rednecks who drive big ass OJ broncos that need a fuggin' paint job!
9. Cars that don't signal when they wanna get in front of you and they cut you off! Sheeit... If I hit yo' ass cuz you wanted to try to sneak in front of me and clip my front end... I'ma swear it ain't my fault! I'ma start carrying a video camera around in my damn truck!
10. Cars with no fuggin brake lights! Get them shits fixed so I don't have to slam on brakes you muthfushutyomouth fools!!!!

SO I LIED

2005-08-13T00:11:00.000-07:00

Ok....
ummm..

I lied.

I didn't post later on yesterday... so sue me. LOL Remember when everybody used to say that back in the day? "Oh, you don't like the fact that I said 'yo mama'? So sue me!"

Oh.

Wait.

Hold up.

they still say that shit.

For real tho. But they actually might sue you. They'll ponder the idea, then whambam... your behind is in court! You're in court hoping and praying that you'll be able to give them what they want! LOL Man... peoples is greedy nowadays!

I wish someone would sue me.

I ain't got shit to give 'em.

Aight....

I woke up.

At 2AM to this loud ass noise. I'm guessing it was outside my apartment. Either that or something is in my damn closet, and I.ain't.gonna.be.the.one.to.find.out. All I know is I heard a loud disturbing noise that sounded like hangars being fooled with, and it sounded like an animal that may have been falling off my screen on my porch, down the vinyl siding, or off the air conditioning thing (such a female word) outside. I.don't.know.what.the.fuck.it.was but it scared.the.shit.outta.me. My heart started pounding and I was froze in fear. I felt like such a punk. Hell... the only weapon I have was in my kitchen. I say "was" cuz I'm now holding the 2 foot long serrated knife. I've been told I need to get a dog. I can't afford the vet bills. AND I don't have the time to give to a dog. I've been told I need to get a gun. Hell... my scurry ass would probably shoot my younger sister if she decided to show up unannounced. And with my dumb luck... the bullet would prolly go through my ceiling or a wall and hit my neighbor. Then I'd be locked the fugg up for assault and intent to kill. WTF? LOL So, no gun for me. How about you men just start acting right so that I can become seriously involved with one of you, and my man can tend to "the things that go bump in the night". GOT.DAYUM.IT! My phone just rang and it scared the buhjeezuhs outta me!!! LOL Ok. I'm a punk. Ashton Kutcher could punk.tha.shyt.outta.me.

It's all good tho! Let ya'll stay in the back of an apartment complex, on the bottom floor, alone, pitch black dark, a river over the fence, and a whole lotta nature with a whole lotta scurry sounds! Ur asses would be scurry too! U'd be sittin' right next to me wondering WTF was happening outside or in my closet too! It's all good tho! I got one of my boys on they way over to take care of bidness!

short, sweet

2005-08-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

just something short and sweet to tell all of you hello and that I'll be on this evening to complete my blog for today!!!!

Hope everyone's week has gone well!!!

BROKE DANCE, DUCT TAPE, AND ADULT DIAPERS

2005-08-09T16:06:00.000-07:00

Weekend Update
I did NOTHING! Friday: Chilled with younger sis Saturday: started to lay out with my sis by her pool, it rained... came back to my place, did NOTHING Sunday: did NOTHING... sun came out around 3:30 and I ran to my bedroom, put on my swimsuit, and hit the pool for 3 hours.

Yesterday
typical monday... NOTHING happened! Well, I drove to Charlotte after work, because a friend of mine needed to go up there to pick up some DJ equipment. Man... we came up with a new concoction for ChikFilA's fries. I love them with Mayo mixed with Ketchup... and we thought that's what we were doing... but what we thought was Ketchup was BBQ sauce and it was the bomb! So, I'm driving and slamming back waffle fries caked in mayo and BBQ sauce. I was in HEAVEN!!!! Yeah, it rained on us the whole way there and back home, but we really had a good time! I learned that I GOTTA get YingYang Twins CD. That shit is some freaky fiyah!!! And I learned that I really have a thing for pretty ass lite skinned black men: Sean Paul of Youngbloods, Luda, Dude from Goodie Mobb that looks like a monkey, Common, T.I., BowWow and his young ass, and a whole lot more. We discussed these people, because he's trying to get his life as a promoter started and he was trying to figure out who to bring to town with Pastor Troy and Youngbloods for a crunk concert. If you have any suggestions... lemme know. T.I. is out of the picture cuz he wants too much money just to show the fuck up... so does Luda.

I saw him last night... but I'm more cautious than ever. I didn't see him over the weekend... talked to him Friday night... but... that was it. I mean, usually, when two full-time working people are off on the weekend, and are feeling each other, they go out or at least spend time together, right?

Today
Honestly... I really don't feel like blogging... BUT I'm gonna!

We had our monthly staff meeting today where my boss showed proved to me and my coworker that he is not hip to our world. Ok... he kinda knows... but he really has NO idea. He's 32 and questions words that I use when I talk and he comes to me when he needs to understand what a word means. He approached me one day to ask me what Gwen Stefani meant by "Holla Back Girl"... I was like... "are you serious?" So... I told him what it meant, and just seriously couldn't believe that he didn't understand by listening to the song what was meant by the term. If you, yeah, you, the reader, don't know... I guess you can ask. I'll try not to laugh at you! So... we're talking about the upcoming talent show being held for our clients, and my boss says, "Last year Joe Blow (can't give you the client's name) broke danced." Me and my immediate coworkers look at each other and laugh our asses off. He immediately looks at me and I'm shaking my head in disapproval. He gets embarrased and corrects himself and says, "Breakdanced." (LMAO... he said brokedanced... isn't that when someone tries to do the cabbage patch, but has not rhythm and ain't moving they arms correctly? So the dance is broke?) Man... later... in our weekly meeting, he tries to save himself. He says, "I was trying to figure out how to use the term in past tense." I said, "Yeah, it was obvious. Maybe someone who can't dance has broke danced, but someone who breakdances... you would use breakdanced." He said, "Well, I didn't know." We laughed it off and moved on to other topics related to the meeting.

So... we're discussing one of our clients who is incontinent (pees in her pants) that uses papertowels as a liner in her panties, because she can't afford Depends. The director of our program says, before we discuss this client, I'm going to the store later to buy some adult diapers. Me and my coworkers, "HUNH?! Do you have a problem you need to discuss?" He starts laughing and informs us that he is buying them for one of the clients. Then he proceeds to say, "You can imagine the looks I get when I'm walking through the store with four packs of adult diapers. When I get to the counter I tell them to hurry cuz I gotta go and I start holding my butt and dancing." Man... imagine a 5'9", caucasian male with salt and pepper colored hair, a pot belly, and blue eyes saying something like that... with a stocky build. We was roooollllliiiing!!!! I think 50% of our weekly meetings are spent goofing off and talking shit to each other!

THEN... during the same meeting, our director's boss starts talking about duct tape! In the south, duct tape fixes EVERYDAMNTHING: car doors, windows, furniture, leaks, etc. Today, I found out that duct tape can fix a rip in your pants! So... he tells us about an employee at one of the mental health clubhouses who was sitting in on psychiatric appointments. He said that she got up one time and felt a breeze and that the back seam of her pants had ripped all the way down. He told us that she left the room, grabbed duct tape, went to the bathroom, and duct taped the inside of her pants so that she could make it to lunch before purchasing a new pair of pants to wear the rest of the day! That damn duct tape!!! It works miracles I tell you! Come to find out... she carried her pants with her the rest of the day, and turned them inside out, and was showing them to everyone talking about how she had fixed her pants with duct tape! I don't think I woulda bragged on it... but... sure... if you're bored... go head!

Yeah... sooo... two meetings... I had a long day! But most of it was funfilled, but now I'm tired. I'ma go fry some chicken, make some mac and cheese, throw some biscuits in the oven... and call it a night! MMMM... nothing like some healthy food!!! heehee

MEMORIES, WORK, AND MORE OF THE FONT

2005-08-04T09:31:00.000-07:00

WILD OUT
Have any of you watched this new show on MTV? It reminds me of... damnit... the name of the show just left my damn brain! Talent was featured with Flex too... ummm... they used to do... SNAPS! Anywho.. the show has Nick Cannon, Orlando whoeva, and other peeps too on the regular. The people dance, snaps, and other ish... it's a great show... very entertaining... then again... I could just be a loser.

MALE COWORKER
Touches me every time he walks out the door. Not sexually, I'd kick his ass. But brushes his fingers on my arms... touches my hair... and damnit... I don't really mind. Cuz he's finer than a mofo! Tell ya the truth... if we had our own offices... we'd prolly be locked in one of our offices together everyday for a lil while. We flirt too much for us to NOT know that we're attracted to one another. When I wear a cleavage revealing shirt... he's all up in 'em (my twins that is)... and he even stays late after work when I wear these shirts. He's told me that when he stays late, it's cuz he's hoping to get some alone time together after work. I'm like... just come to my damn house! NOT GONNA HAPPEN... he's got live in pussy. What's phukked up is that he shares with me when his live in ain't puttin' out. Ladies... haven't you learned anything from Destiny's Child's "Cater 2 u"? And I quote, "Tap me on my shoulder, I'll roll over... I'm here to serve you.... " WTF is wrong with women? Take care of ya damn man!!! Or I will!

LAST NIGHT WITH FRED
He called around 10:30 to tell me he was going to the office to handle some paperwork and would call when he left the office so I could meet him at his house. Damnit ya'll! I fell asleep and missed his damn call! So, I woke up at 3ish and text'd him... apologizing for not answering the phone cuz I was sleep and told him I'd appreciate a raincheck for tonight. Access granted! heehee He's already called... a few minutes after I walked in the door from work, and we're planning to get together tonight. Stay tuned!

whack ass post

2005-08-03T18:39:00.000-07:00

LAST NIGHT
I watched the BET Awards, again! LMAO... Why? Well, I got ready to turn the station when The Fugees walked on stage... and I couldn't turn the station on their performance. I love The Fugees... OOH LA LA LA. So... I decided to watch it thru, because I missed Missy's performance (great lip sync'n) and... well.. damnit... I had to watch Destiny's Child give those lapdances again! heehee And watch Beyonce's ass bounce! Got dayum... that heffa could get it!

what? what? uhooohhh! notice the font!! WHAT?!!! He has made it a third day... and in a row!
I received a telephone call while watching the awards. It was Fred (big grin). He had arrived in town and invited me to come see him at his crib. Heck.. I was bored, so I took my ass ova there. We watched HUSTLE AND FLOW (sloooooooooooow). The entyre movie was slow, then after mr. pimpin for a microphone got locked up, the damn movie moved faster and BAM tha shit was ova. I looked at Fred, he looked at me... and we both said, "Did I miss something?" As soon as "Whoop That Trick" was sung, the credits started rolling. WTF? Man... it was on bootleg, and later in the night... Fred and I realized we missed a few scenes that we had viewed in the previews. We didn't really give a fugg, cuz the movie sucked ass anyways. So... we're watching the boob tube and I notice he is just staring at me. So, I asked him, "WTF are you staring at?" (giggle) He said, "Girl, you are just too damn sexy and beautiful!" I grinned and blushed and thanked him for the compliment. I woke up this morning all curled up in his arms, and he said, "Get outta here! You stay sexy all night? How u just wake up looking all beautiful and sexy?" Thanks Mom and Dad for the great genes!!! heehee When I woke up, I was fully clothed (take a hint bloggers). We walked out his house, yes, a HOUSE, together to depart for work (well, I was going to my apt to get dressed for work). Will I see him Wed. night? Who knows? He called tonight (today bitches, check the date of the blog) on his way home from class and told me he'd call back in a little while to invite me over, because he wanted to know if I was in for the night and I told him, "Unless someone calls and invites me to do something or go somewhere, I'm in." Stay tuned.... heehee

G *hey boo! I miss u!!! (waving and throwing kisses)* called last night close to 1AM... I was sleep... and he left a message. He was at this live reggae club in DC, and he knows how much I LOVE live reggae, well, reggae period, but I especially love live reggae bands. He called to leave a message with the reggae band playing and informed me that he just could not be in the club and NOT share it with me. Man... ain't NO one betta than G!!! And I swear, if he asked me to be his girl... man... all these other knuckleheads would be forgotten. Howeva, I'm still single and am keeping my options open until G informs me of what it is he's interested in pursuing with me. G and I planned to meet up this weekend in NC for a biker's roundup, BUT... I'm not sure if it's going to happen, because I haven't heard word about the weekend. If not... I'll be in MD the 18-21. Gots to visits with my peoples!!! G's and my phone calls have lessened since our first encounter at bikeweek. No love lost and I ain't mad, cuz I know he's a busy man... Nope.. not making excuses for him, because I do know that if he's REALLY THAT INTO ME, he'll make time for me... like he used to.... I remember before meeting up with him in Raleigh... we didn't talk everyday for two weeks. I think we talked twice within the two weeks before we got together in Raleigh. He reminds me when we do talk that his business is the reason he does not have a girlfriend. Sheeit... lemme be ya girlfriend... cuz I completely understand! heehee

Anywho....
So... this blog sucks! Sorry... work was boring as fugg today!

OH OH OH!!!! Don't close this window yet!!!!
I came back from lunch today... NO, I did NOT have to pee! BUT... guess who was exiting the bathroom as I entered the office?!!?! YUP! You guessed it... B!!! HEEHEE NO, luke cage, she did NOT wash her hands, again!!! NASTEE ASS HEFFA! And NO... I did NOT go in the bathroom behind her nastee ass! I learned my lesson on Monday!!!!! I love my hand sanitizer. It goes everywhere with me! I use it after grocery shopping (u can catch herpes from the grocery carts), after pumping gas (herpes), after touching doorknobs... heehee... I ain't worried about hepatitis, cuz I got my vaccination! But, seriously, everyone should invest in hand sanitizer! It's the best thing since chapstick! This stuff should NOT, I repeat, SHOULD NOT, replace hand washing though! You should still wash your hands with lukewarm water and soap for the length of time it takes you to sing happy birthday if you are able to wash your hands. You should also use lotion after you wash your hands in order to keep ya skin protected! heehee... Now boys and girls... that lesson is over... let's move on to something else! heehee

This post is over bitches.... and I'm still not rich! heehee

DIFFICULT BUT RELAXING

2005-08-02T07:04:00.000-07:00

BAD START TO THA DAY (Ladies - and men who are mechanically retarded-... ya gotta read it... more on auto mechanics!!!)
I sit in my vehicle, place the key in the ignition, and "clikclikclik"... NOTHING. I'm thinking, "FUCK! What now?" I try it again... NOTHING but the "clikclikclik". I pop the hood to check my battery for corrosion... and YUP... got it! I knock off the most of it, cuz I don't have a monkey wrench to twist the cable off the battery. At this point... I'm sweating like a damn hooka in church. I sit down, take a deep breath, put the key in the ignition, and "clikclikclik"... well, at least the cliks are faster. I call home, DADDY that is... and get no answer. I call MR. FIXIT with a RECORD like he can do anything for me from the shop. THEN... I call my bro-in-law who lives across town. He decided to call his mechanic to see if they could send someone over, and of course, they can't. His mechanic told him that the green light indicator on the battery means nothing. WHAT?! Then WTF is it there for? If the battery is just the slightest bit low, the green light will remain on AND ya car will NOT start. Well... it's something with the power, because when I locked my car with the keyless remote, the horn sounded all retarded. Instead of a loud, clear honk... I got something that sounded like a muffled goose. He informed me that he has to be on this side of town in an hour to pick up his kids from the museum at 12 so he'd swing by to see if he could help. GOT DAYUM IT! I called my younger sis, too, just to see if she had problems today. Remember she had issues with her car starting the day after mine last week!? She had NO problems. So, I called in to work to tell them that I couldn't get my car started and that the minute I got it started, I'd be in to work. Hell, I'm only going in for 3 hours today anyway. I'm taking the afternoon off so I can go to the doctor... well... if I can go to the doctor. I was all worried about getting my ass to work, AND I was gonna be on time today (which is a rare thing), and forgot about needing to get to my doctor appointment. I can reschedule, but I like to keep it close to 3 months, because that's how often I'm supposed to be seen, and if the cancer has resurfaced, who knows how fast that killa muhfukka would grow. Ok... so I'm anxious now... and I'm panicking, just a lil bit (G-G-G-G-GEE UNIT!!!). Ok... so... MR. FIXIT calls me back and he's sending a mobile mechanic out to me to try to fix my car. I say TRY, because I don't know WTF is wrong with it! So... I'm a sitting duck. And it's been almost a complete WEEK since my car did this to me. If I could beat the Muhfukka into submission, I'd do it... I swear I would! LMAO Push come to shove... I take 3 hours of annual leave (thanks to my truck) and 4.5 hours of sick leave (for the doctor appt). What a wonderful Tuesday! At least I'm already working towards getting this GMC (a higher class of FORD=Driver Returns On Foot is FORD spelled backwards) repaired. Please God, let it be the battery, puuuuhhhhhllleeeaaasssseee!!!! Oh... did I mention that Mr. Fixit has volunteered to pay for the mobile mechanic AND the battery... if I need a battery? If ya volunteer, I am NOT declining... cuz I'm poor! heehee Sooooo.... I get a phone call and it's Mr. Fixit... He's coming instead of the mechanic, because the mechanic is taking too long. Mr. Fixit arrives around 11:15 with his tool kit and some other things. We head to the truck and pop the hood. He starts taking off the battery cables and, after burning himself with the battery acid, we noticed the cable disconnect from the "thingy" (females term for something we don't know the name of) that holds the cable in place and connects it to the battery. AND the cable/wire was CAKED in corrosion. I had brought the soda I was drinking outside with me, and good thing... cuz we needed to use the soda on the corrosion. It didn't help much, so he pulled out his pocket knife (damn that thing was pretty... I want one!) and scraped away at the corrosion. He brought with him new "thingies" to place back on the cable/wires and battery JUST IN CASE the old thingies had corroded away. He's so smart! lol So... we get alla that fixed and he's placing the cables back onto the battery and you can hear it poppin... so we knew we had juice! After he moves everything away from the battery and backs away, I turn the key... YYYEEEAAA!!!! We have a cranked vehicle!!! Amazing.... how something so small can cause something so major, hunh? I'm glad I called him... Like he told me... if you need anything, call me! If I hadn't called him, my bro-in-law woulda had me towed to a mechanic, probably, and I would have spent a bookoo on having corrosion removed and a simple part replaced. Not to mention, the mechanic would have probably tried to get me to allow them to replace the whole damn wire... FUKKERS! Advanced Auto Parts is the shit man!!! And so is Mr. Fixit! I fixed him lunch and transported him back to his job, because he fixed my car for free AND didn't have transpo back to the job. He rode out with another mechanic. As we're pulling up to the store, he told me that he had purchased a battery for me since we thought I might need one... WTF? I didn't even ASK him to do that! While he was eating, he told me that he might be moving an hour away, because his manager is taking over a store in another city and he wants to take Mr. Fixit with him, because he can rely on and trust Mr. Fixit AND would like Mr. Fixit to become his assistant manager at the out of town store.... hmmmm... I told him, "Ya gotta go where the money is!" Which is something I would do in a heartbeat. More money... out of town... see ya! God has sent Mr. Fixit into my world for a reason... I'm interested in learning why.

M.I.A.
I don't know where he is... but Mr. Blackplanet, FOINE as his picture is, has not made an appearance in two days. Hmmm.... this may start affecting my mood! Mr. Blackplanet, Do you think you could make an appearance sometime today or tomorrow? I'd really appreciate it!

COWORKERS FEET
YESTERDAY....
After I leave the FUNKDAFIED (AND NOT LIKE DA BRAT'S FUNKDAFIED) bathroom, I walk down to the main office to pick up two of my client's checks. The lady I had to retrieve these checks from was wearing sandles. I looked down while I was waiting on the checks, and decided that I wished I hadn't. Her feet were in my view, with her heels facing me. Man... her heels were dry and cracked like wet flour on raw chicken waiting to be thrown in the grease. Ladies... there's a remedy for that AND a prevention to crackin' feet! It's called ADVANCED HEALING LOTION and it's made by VASELINE, and all you have to do is squirt a small amount into your hand and massage it into your feet daily. This includes all areas of your feet: toes, in between ya toes, sides of ya feet, bottoms of ya feet, tops of ya feet, and ankles. Hell, you can do it twice a day if you wanna! But the way this woman's heels were looking... it made me question how my feet were looking since I was wearing open toe and heel shoes. Mine were straight and I grinned. As I was lotioning my feet this morning I wondered how I could get my coworker to work on her feet without hurting her feelings. I think I'll just purchase a small bottle for her and enclose a note with it that says, "Apply to feet twice daily to reduce cracked and dry heels and other areas on your feet. Please apply when wearing sandals." Hell no... I ain't gonna sign it... WTF? AND I'ma type the note! Don't want it traced back to me!!! heehee

DOCTOR'S VISIT
It went well. He didn't feel the need for a full papsmear, because the last one came back normal (yeehaawww!). So, he just felt around for lumps/tumors/weird shit that shouldn't be around my pelvic region. As he pulled out... his hands... lol... u nastee mofos... he told me to keep up the good work. That means that I'm still clear! November will be two years since my surgery to remove the cancer AND if all is clear, I move to seeing the doc every 6 months instead of every 3 months... AND... I have to have a CT Scan done in November. YUCK!!! Before I left Baltimore, I had graduated to being able to drink a gallon of water before my CT Scan, because they had upgraded their machine. NOW... I'm back down in the south, the slow ass state of SC who doesn't upgrade their technology till the next millenium, so I gotta drink the nasty ass Barium crap they gave me. I can fathom it... it's not too bad... but damn... I'd rather drink a gallon of water! Anywho... the good news is... I'm still cancer free!!!! Yipppeeee!!!! And Mr. Bowtie wearing Doctor stated before he walked out the room, "God is smiling down on you." I thought... ain't that the damn truth!!! Thank you God for keeping that nasty disease out of my body!

AFTERNOON BY THE POOL
Since I'm already off work, I retreated to the pool when I arrived home from my appointment. Man, it was sooooooooooooo nice!!! Until 30mins before my 2 hours was over and these white ass "Becky" talking girls entered the pool area... they were obviously discussing their jobs... which is basically in my field of work: working with crazy ass people... heehee. Becky was talking to Suzie: "Like I can't believe that woman like totally shot her husband because like he wanted to play golf." I'm thinking, "PHUCK! There goes my enjoyment! Like, I totally can't stand like white girls who totally talk like they are like from the valley, like totally." UUUGGGHHHH! But, I have to give it up to Suzie... she had a fukkin hilarious ass story. Yeah, I was eavesdropping... They wanted to talk loud enuf for everybody in my complex and the one next door to hear them, so I was all ears! So... Suzie shared her story: "We have this teenager on our ward who curses like everybody out. He's so funny (giggle giggle). He doesn't mean to curse everyone out, but like, he can't like, he can't help it. (giggle fuckin giggle) So, like, his grandma came to visit one day, and his grandma told him to like stop cursing at everybody. We heard him say, "Bitch." But, like, he mumbled bitch like under his breath. So, like, his grandma, like, gets ready to leave, and like she like tells him to be good, take his meds, and stop cursing. As soon as she walked out and said, bye, he said bye... and as she closed the door he said, "Bitch." Becky and Suzie start crackin up and both said at the same time, "LIke that is soooooooooooooo funny!" Ok... that shit was funny as hell! But as soon as that "sooooooo" exited their mouths, I dipped in the pool one more time to cool off, then got out to grab my shit to go back to my apartment. The way they talk was, like, totally getting on my nerves... like soooooooooo much! LMAO Ok, ya'll prolly gonna think I'm crazy, BUT... as I was grabbing my towel, book, phone, keys, and water, I noticed something out the corner of my left eye moving. I looked and damnit... there was a raccoon exiting the pool area via the gate. I did a triple take cuz I wasn't sure. At first I thought it was a cat, then I looked again, and the body was NOT shaped like a cat... but I didn't see any black markings on the raccoon looking thing either. I started to ask Becky and Suzie if they saw it, but since they work in the state mental hospital, I said, fuck that. I'll just share it with my bloggers. I mean, seriously... it looked like a raccoon and it's tail was hella skinny... like it was sick... no fur. I dunno... Maybe it was a large ass cat with scoliosis. But that thing walked thru the pool area like it was just another resident and he had the permission of the complex manager to use the pool wheneva he damn well pleased. Long as his ass don't attack me, I'm cool.

notice the font color!
Mr side of the road hit me up and told me that he would call me when he got back in town today, and that he'd like to see me. If he gets in at a decent hour, I might go see him! Go meet him somewhere! heehee Yea for Fred! He made it to my blog another day!!! heehee

AFTER POOL SHOWER
Ok... this is totally out there... but damnit... I gotta blog about it 'cuz it was great! The best feeling in the shower is when you're washing all the soap suds off you and you bend over, spread ya ass cheeks, and feel the warm water run down the crack of ya ass and, for the ladies, over your pussy. OMG!!! I love that feeling! Men... I'm sure it feels great running over ya balls too! It's not an orgasmic feeling... but damn... it's soooo relaxing!

WHY ME

2005-08-01T16:12:00.000-07:00

EMPLOYEE BATHROOM
I returned from lunch and had to pee like a racehorse! I come into the office... 12 of us share this office, but not all of us are in the office at one time. Most at a time in this office is 9-10... we're hoping to upgrade within the next year. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO... I walk into the office and try to make a BLINE for the bathroom and someone is in it. I figured it was B... seriously, that's her initial... cuz I watched her walk in as I was parking. Yup... it was her. As I heard the toilet flush... I had to maintain my cool, cuz I didn't wanna rush in just in case she had dropped a load. After she entered her office, I waited a sec, then walked calmly to the bathroom and spoke to her. MAAAAAAN... I didn't wait long enuf! Howeva, chick did NOT drop a load, it was her sweaty snatch area that had funked up the bathroom. Ladies... haven't we learned how to use babypowder in the crevice where our thighs connect to our love jones? Seriously... on these hot ass summer days... ladies... come a lil more correct. I'm in the bathroom about to pass the fuck out cuz this chick left that funky, sweaty coochie, marinated snatch smell in the bathroom and I'm holding my breath from trying NOT to breathe this poison into my lungs! After I washed my hands... which she did not... eeewwwwwwww..... I left the bathroom and couldn't even speak to B. I just grabbed my shit and left to go visit my clients. And she didn't wash her hands! YUCK! How do I know? Our office is so small, you can hear the water run in the bathroom. AND I heard this chick go to open the door first... then she waited a split second, then exited the bathroom! I will NEVER approach her the same again! Smelly ass STINKY LADY!!! EEWWW... How come she doesn't know about babypowder?

DRIVE HOME
I'm 5 minutes into my ride home and I noticed this van behind me with two fine liteskinned brothas in the van! Man... I was just happy to have some eye candy behind me on the ride home. As we came off a two lane part of the highway I take home, they jumped in the left lane and I remained in the right, because I had to turn off within a matter of minutes to go towards my apartment. Obviously, they had been checking me out too. And I guess it didn't help that I had Tony Yayo's "So Seductive" playing at an earpiercing decibal. heehee... but damn... that's my jam! Ya'll (yup... I used the word Mr. Tate), the passenger had it out for me. He was hollerin' back and forth and I couldn't hear a damn thing. As they passed me, I noticed the van read, "Husband for a Day.... 24 hour maintenance". Sheeit... they could be my husband for several damn days as FOINE as they were looking. Sooo... I met Fred. Pay attention to the font (thanks ManNMotion), cuz that's how he'll be addressed from here on out. Man... he was FOINE! Tall, caramel complexion, bald headed... and followed my ass till I turned off for my apartment. I pulled over, cuz I wasn't taken 'em all the way to my complex. I watched him as he approached my vehicle. As he leaned down to my window... he grinned and said hello...
I thought, "WTF is wrong with this dude's teeth? Those bamas look like he got all kinda fungus growing up in there!" The more we talked, the more I was eyeing his mouth. Turns out... his teeth were just a lil crooked and what looked like fungus was some damn shadows... *shrew! wiping forehead*. That's all I would have needed was for him to be that got dayum fine (Chico DeBarge fine) and have some Jacked up teeth! We exchanged numbers and he instructed me to call him tomorrow, because he was on his way to Charlotte. Cool. He's 31 and I'm not agreeing to a date until I find out about his legal history. He reassured me that he's single, no wife, no girlfriend, no nothing... hmmm... ok? And I told him that I have NO time for drama. Cuz, seriously... I don't need it, I don't bring it, and I won't deal with it. What can I say? I attract fine ass men everyday! I just don't have them being too damn aggressive to get at me. And I am NOT about to holla at a fella. Cuz if he's too shy to holla at me, we are not gonna get along. Dunno... Fred may not make any more appearances here, but... at least he got a debut in MY blog! heehee

DOCTOR APPOINTMENT
I meet with my gynecological oncologist for my three month checkup tomorrow at 2pm.... YEA for me! I get to throw my legs up on the stirrups for this old bowtie wearing summabitch AGAIN! Howeva... as long as he continues to tell me I'm cancer free... I'll continue to allow him to dig all in my coochie!

CONDOLENSCES
My prayers and hopes go out to Mr. Greggy. He lost his wife to a tragic car accident thanks to some dumbass who felt the need to flee from the cops. Guess what dumbass!? Now you'll have more to answer for in court AND when you meet your maker! Mr. Greg, I hope you and your daughter recover quickly and may your wife rest in peace!

Advanced Auto Date

2005-07-31T18:46:00.000-07:00

It started with lunch. He called me as I was passing the shop, because it's two buildings down from my job, and asked me to go to lunch with him. So be it! Why not? Soooo... I picked him up at lunch. I take him to the bank so he can make a deposit and boy, did I found out a WHOLE lot about Mr. Fixit.

I found out that he's 21. DAMN! My thought: I swore off babies after Z. Mr. Fixit is just starting out in this world.

THEN... came tha BIG HIT! He just got out of federal prison 3 months ago. Charge: Assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill. As he told me this... I know I looked like a deer in headlights! I'm like... and I got this mofo in my muhfukkin car! WTF!!! Mr. Fixit claims that some guys broke into his apartment, he was sharing with his ex girlfriend who got pregnant while he was in lock up, and he shot at them in "self-defense". (skreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet... pump the brakes! REDFUCKINGLIGHT!)

Me thinking: hmmm... why the fuck would they break into your apartment?

Come to find out... he was hustlin' and these "breakers and enterers" wanted his shit.

LMAO... man... so I kept listening.

He has his nursing certificate, but he can't use it... thanks to his new LIFE RECORD! DUH! He swears he wants to get his life straight and he's steering clear of the people he "used to run with". Ok... maybe he is... (caution light still flicking real fast).

Positive: He was a gentleman. He opened MY door (driver's door) for me, paid for lunch, AND filled up my gas tank. yeah, I know... abusers and killers are real charmers AND gentlemen. (caution light still a flikkerin'). He doesn't have any kids. He's looking at a car on Sunday to purchase. He's working two jobs. He's going to court to try to get a pardon on his nursing certificate so he can still pursue that career (motivated). He's not hustling anymore, illegally (so he claims). He's a real cutie.

Negative: Dude has a fuckin record! He's living with his mom. He doesn't have a car. HE has a fucking record!

So... I immediately started praying on the whole damn thing... because he's young and has a FEDERAL RECORD... did I tell ya'll that? He has a RECORD!!! Not one that plays music... one of those that follow you for life, because you broke the damn law and tried to kill someone! DAMNIT!!!

So... I decided to keep our date for the evening: dinner and a movie... at least it's in public.

I pick him up at 8:30, cuz he doesn't have a car! Man... I hope he gets one soon! We get the tickets to STEALTH first, then head to Chili's for dinner. I learned that he has a real temper. The food server leaned over to refill Mr. Fixits drink and I looked at him as his face frowned up. He smiled and took a deep breath. He said, "You knew I was about to flip, hunh? I can't stand for people to reach over my food!" I suggested that he request the server to not reach over his food anymore. He decided to let it go. I can understand the whole reaching over the food thing... it is pretty damn rude! Then I found out that he quit his night job, because his manager gave him a test and he didn't do well on it, and claims that his boss was rude to him. I don't know... but what I do know is that he said, "I am not going to tolerate my employer talking to me anyway they see fit." Hmmm *caution light* dude has some major anger management issues! I think he has some serious issues with authority figures too. He informed me that he and his mother never got along, because his mother wanted him to be Muslim, and he wants to be who he is and as he is... hmmm *more caution lights*. He paid for dinner, and I had to teach him how to tip. I used to be a food server and $2 on a $30 tab ain't gonna cut it! He had no idea that food servers make LESS than min. wage and rely on their tips... hmmm... now he does!

We ventured over to the movies and I got heated with him, but he isn't aware of this. When I go to the movies, I wanna watch the movie. I'll cuddle with my date or hold hands or wateva the seats will allow, but I'm not gonna curl up in a damn ball with you OR talk to you. I'm there to watch the damn movie!! This muhfukka kept wanting to talk to me. I finally looked at him and said, "If you wanted to fucking talk, we shouldn't be at the damn movies." He shut up and allowed me to continue to watch the movie. BTW... STEALTH wasn't all that great. It had it's moments, but... I woulda rather saw DARK WATER or HELL'S REJECTS. Anywho... so... I'm watching the movie and I feel like I have a damn baby attached to me. He's all curled up on me with his head resting on my damn shoulders. I'm like.. WTF? Dude, you're an adult... sit the fuck up! I kept moving trying to get him to sit the fuck up, but he didn't get the hint. I finally sat all the way forward with my elbows on my knees. He's like... what's wrong? I'm like... shhhhhh! I'm watching the movie! Plus, I was tired. And the sleepier I get, the less patience I have. So the movie finally ends... *applause*... and we're riding home. I had a good time with him, but damn... 21? We're pulling up at his house, well, his mom's house... and he says, "I really had a good time tonight! We should go out more often. I need to get out the house more. I know we're just getting to know one another and I know this may not lead to a relationship, but I just wanna hang with you from time to time and get to know you better." I'm like... I'm cool with that... I can be ya friend! THEN he says, "Seriously... you seem like good people. And if you need anything... I mean ANYTHING... just ask!" This coming AFTER he tells me he can feel that I need a new wheel bearing. Got.dayum.it! So... maybe I'll keep him around... so he can work on my car... Friends... useful friends... are always good to have, right? As long as I keep it clear that it's JUST a friendship! THEN... he leans over and POW... HIS lips are on mine and DAMN they felt good! He smelled good, he dressed VERY WELL, and damn... he can kiss! He can hold a conversation and it's not elementary. He just has a lifetime record, lives with his mom, and has no ride! So...

He calls Saturday and wanted to hang... I declined. We talked on the phone for a while and called it a night around 10.

He called from work today and asked if I could pick him up from work, because his mom had to go somewhere. Shit... I ain't got nothing else to do... so I picked him up. He told me that someone brought by a Honda they're trying to sell, and he's going to buy it. YYEEEEAAA!!!! He's gonna have transpo!!! A step in the right direction! I took him to his house, he gave me gas money *applause*, and after he changed clothes and some smell good (and damn, he was looking good with his lite eyes), we went back to my place to chill. I had been cleaning my apartment all day. I woke up at 9am and couldn't go back to sleep, so I just started cleaning (kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, reorganized my bedroom, washed some laundry, etc.). I still need to vacuum and dust. My sheets were in the washer and I had to go pick him up before I had put sheets on my bed. He helped me make my bed... and was quite the gentleman! He touched NOTHING that he was NOT given permission to touch... which was everything related to sex! heehee Except my lips. I couldn't help myself. His kisses are GREAT! lol

So... we watched TORQUE... sucked! Some scenes were aight... but for the most part, the movie sucked! Then I whisked him BACK to his mom's place.

G.. baby... I agree with you... ain't NOBODY better than you! LOL This is why I starve myself! heehee

So... fellow bloggers... Mr. Fixit and I will continue to be friends... but I don't see anything growing from this...
Why?
1. He's not G! *waving... Hey boo!*
2. He's not G!
3. He's not G!
4. Dude... HE HAS A RECORD!
5. I can't see me taking him home to the family.
6. DAMN! Didn't I say he's not like G? LMAO

So... I've made a new friend. Period.

I saw Mr. Sexy from BP today. He made ONE appearance! AND GOT DAYUM HE WAS LOOKING FINE AS EVA!!! If only I knew how to conatct him! LMAO

Why Can't He Be REAL

2005-07-29T05:52:00.000-07:00

GOOD MORNING YOU SEXY MUHFUCKA!
You got that beautiful brown skin, big brown eyes that I could gaze into on the regular, soft smooth lips that I could kiss thru eternity, smooth skin that I could touch forevermore, and the hair of a king!
How I enjoy waking up to you looking at me every morning!!!!
It's just too got dayum bad that you aren't in person, and I have to log into blackplanet.com to see your face every morning!
I love you?! Hope you have a great day!
Seriously, ya'll, this man finds my way to my computer screen every morning, and I ain't complaining! Yeah, it's fate, cuz he's the advertisement for blackplanet love. Boooo... I ain't joining that shit! Cuz he prolly ain't even on there!
I'll just keep loggin' into bp every morning so we can visit! *NO... I'm not a fukkin internet stalker!* heehee I'm just glad he graces my presence once, sometimes twice, a day!

TWO DAY BLOG

2005-07-28T16:20:00.000-07:00

WEDNESDAY

CAR TROUBLE
So... I get in my car at lunch to go get some grub and "clicktabam"... my car won't start. I'm thinking, "All my lights are working, the seatbelt warning pain in my ass chiming shit is working, WTF?" I tried it again... same noise, no turn over. I'm like... FUCK! I cannot afford a new starter OR alternator!!!! So... I call daddy... yup... this is one of those times us lil girls who are grown ass women need our daddies... especially when we're single. I already had an idea of what the problem was, but dad said, "Try to jump it. Your battery may be low on juice and you may need a jump." A coworker tried to jumpstart my car... it didn't work. HOWEVER! We did notice some corrosion around the battery, but we thought NOTHING of it! I took one of the company vehicles to Burger King and got me a 99cent burger and a drink with the three dollaz I had on me. Shit... it's the end of the month... I'm broke till Monday! Returned to work and was talking to my old boss about my vehicle... He offered to take a look at it... in the 110 degree heat... so I said... okay... SUCKER! What, he thought I was gonna say no? Sheeit! Mr. Lopez told me that it could be one of three things due to the corrosion: a. the battery isn't kicking out the juice to the designated areas due to the corrosion b. starter c. alternator. At this point I'm thinking: Please let it be the corrosion, please please please!!!!!!!! We pop the hood of my GMC, I grab my toolkit (Daddy taught me well), and we go to work trying to take the cable off the battery, cuz there is an ass of corrosion! You can watch it fall off just from slightly touching it. Mr. Lopez knocked off enough to where he thought my car would start. I got in, stuck the key in the ignition, and WHOOOOPPPPEEEEEEE... my car started!!!!! I was off to Advanced Auto Parts to get them to take the cable off, brush off the rest of the corrosion, and spray my battery metal parts to prevent further corrosion! Man..... it was all to the good!

FLIRTING
Helped me to not have to pay for the deed of Advanced Auto Parts. Dude was a cutie, so I didn't really have a problem flirting with him. AND, I knew what I was talking about, so I'm sure it was a plus to hear an attractive female talk as if she has some sense about what's going on with her car.
Me: I have some corrosion built up around my battery and I was hoping you could help me remove the cable and help me remove the rest of the corrosion so that my car will start for the rest of the day. I'm having trouble starting the car, and I knocked off some of the corrosion just to see if that was my problem.

PT (that's his name): I can help you with that.

So, we walk outside and it went like this:
PT is trying to lift the hood and the thing is... you gotta push down a lil bit, hit the release lever, then lift the hood. So I tell him that.
PT: You got it nigga rigged?
Me: Nah, that's just how it is! *laffin*
PT: You know we about to get real hot out here, right?
Me: Yup! It's hot as fuck out here!

Seriously, it was hot as fuck! I have on open toe and heel pumps, standing on the concrete, and I swear I was ready to call the fire department to come put out the fire on my damn toes! I just knew that within seconds, my toes were gonna start smoking!

PT: You coulda told me you had a side battery
Me: You shoulda asked
PT: You're supposed to tell me things like this
Me: You didn't ask. Isn't your job to ask about the details of something you're going to fix? *giggle*
PT: You do have a lot of corrosion around your battery. I can see it falling off.
Me: Yeah, I noticed that while I was at work. I'm glad it's just the corrosion and not my starter or alternator.
PT; yeah... me too. I don't think I wanna sit out here and put in a new alternator for you. It's too hot. Where do you work?

me thinking: You'd put on an alternator? Is that a new service?

I told him where I work and he proceeded to tell me about his brother and some other personal information. It was cool. Like I said... he's a cutie. He proceeded to tell me about how he works two jobs and some other ish.... I was like... hmmm... he's flirting... I'ma get this shit done for free. He invited me to come to eat at his restaurant when it was all done and over with so that he could cook for me.

Me: hmmm... I'm not big on your restaurant... maybe you could cook for me on a personal note
PT: How about if I take you out and treat you to dinner?
Me: That'd be nice.

We discussed our work hours and I proceeded to give him my number. As I exited out the store he said, "If you have any more trouble with your car. I'll fix it for you... no charge!"

Hmmm... does this mean I have to give him a date for every time he fixes my car? Cuz you damn skippy I'ma take advantage of that offer!!!! LMAO Fuck it... he's a cutie... and well spoken... WTF... we can date! Free meals are the best meals! And shit... you can't beat FREE anything! Kamal... thanks for teaching me how to flirt to get free shit! *waving* I know you remember that night at the drive thru when you were flirting with that bitch! Where were we? CORKY's!!! LOL

LEAVING WORK
I get in my car and two of my coworkers have made it to their vehicles. I go to start my car... and the same shit that happened at lunch, happened again! I'm like... WTF!!!!!! My boss looks at me, and she looks like WTF? And my coworker looks the same way. MAN! I try it again, and it sounds like it's gonna crank, and then shuts off. At this point, I'm wondering WTF is wrong (cables not tight enuf on the battery? starter going out for real?). I give it one more time to start up... AND WHOOOOOPPPPEEEEEE my baby started! I kissed the steering wheel, cuz Lord knows me and Daddy ain't got the money right now for a new starter!

LESSON FOR THE DAY: IF YOUR CAR BATTERY HAS CORROSION AROUND IT, YOUR CAR MAY NOT START! THE HEAT CAN ALSO PREVENT YOUR CAR FROM STARTING, BECAUSE SOME BATTERIES ARE AFFECTED BY EXTREME HEAT! YOUR CAR MAY NOT START DUE TO CORROSION AROUND THE BATTERY AND EXTREME HEAT!!! SO, IF YA CAR DOESN'T START, BUT YA LIGHTS, RADIO, AND ALL OTHER THINGS REQUIRING POWER WORK... CHECK YA BATTERY FOR CORROSION! IF THERE IS NO CORROSION... UMMM... SORRY... YOU MIGHT NEED A NEW STARTER OR ALTERNATOR!

TODAY
I got stuck in a damn hail storm! I'm in my company's 15 passenger van, transporting clients, and it starts raining. I knew it was gonna storm, cuz I heard the thunder. We're driving and you can watch the lightening dance across the sky and down to the earth. It was scary, but exciting all in the same! I love thunderstorms and it's very rare that I actually get to watch the lightening pop during a thunderstorm. However... we came to a standstill in traffic and I was like... FUCK THIS! I ain't sittin in no damn traffic... so, I made a U-wee, and found a different route to our destination. As we enter South Carolina's campus, I start hearing this TINK, TANK on the van. Then I hear a CLUNK. I'm like... WTF? Then I see something the size of a damn marble bounce off the van that's white. I thought "Fuck... it's hailing... it's fucking windier than a damn muhfukka out here..." and I start looking for a damn tornado. I called my coworker to see if she had heard a weather report and all she had heard was that there were severe thunderstorm warnings all afternoon... so I told her "DUH! I'm in the muhfukka!" Then... ya'll remember those big ass marbles? One of those hit my damn van, but in the form of hail! I'm like, holy shit! We gonna fuckin die!!! LOL I pulled off the road, cuz I didn't want one of those pieces of fucking hail to crack thru the windshield and hit us... can it do that? We sat there for five minutes, then I was like "Fuck this... if a tornado comes, we got not a damn place to go for shelter" So, I braved the damn storm and drove in the damn monsoon. I couldn't see a fucking thing and the roads were got dayum flooded! Driving on the roads looked like Moses parting the damn sea!~ Walls of water on each side of the vehicle. We're stopped at a redlight and the emergency pain in my ass noise came across the radio. I'm thinking "Fuck... it's a got dayum tornado!" And I start looking for a place to take my clients! No dayum ditches, lots of fucking trees, and the closest building is 500 feet away~! "Fuuuuuck!" Then the fuckers say, "This alert is to warn of flash floods and there are reports of hail in the western parts of Columbia". I'm thinking "No shit! Floods? I'm driving in this shit you dumbasses! Hail? Nah... not today! It's too fucking pretty for hail! It's just the size of fucking marbles! You late ass muhfuckas!" (the EBS announced this shit 30 mins later) Word to the wise... don't rely on the emergency broadcast system. They suck! It's still pouring down rain and I have on my flashers so the assholes behind me can see me ahead of them, because it's raining so hard, you can't see shit in front of you. As we approach the five mile radius of our destination... the sky is clearer than a muhfukka and ain't a drop of fucking rain. Ahead of us is clear sky and behind us is this scary charcoal grey sky! Man... and I remained calmer than a heathen in church! LOL Seriously, on the outside, I was as cool as Snoopy. On the inside, I was a fucking wreck 'cuz I had to look out for my clients.

My car is still working!
But... my younger sister's is doing the same shit. I'm riding with her to Advanced Auto in the AM. Not the same one where cutie works, tho. But, if the trick allows me to do the talking and the flirting... I might get her shit done for free too! Hey sis! *waving* Love you! Keep ya fucking trap shut tomorrow, beeotch!

IT'S TOO GOT DAYUM HOT

2005-07-27T16:00:00.000-07:00

To blog or do anything else!

115 with a heat index of 130....

shit..

I was in the damn sun and heat all damn day!

Fugga blog!

I'll do this shit tomorrow!

I wanna enjoy the cool air in my apt!

OH... what's worse?

The fucking heat AND ya damn car not starting!!!!

Stay tuned for details!

RELAXING AND CALM DAY

2005-07-25T16:16:00.000-07:00

I awakened around 6am, cuz I had to pee. THEN I tried to go back to sleep, but it was useless... so I came in to the living room to check my email and my pc was all fugged up.....

I had to call a techie cuz I couldn't fix the problem. They had to turn off the stupid modem from their side of the dayum internet world before I could access the internet.

So, I went back to bed and decided to call they asses later....

Around 11am I decided that I wanted to invite my girl, Kristi, and her daughter from Aiken to come hang with me at the pool all afternoon. I had to talk Kristi into it, cuz she's PMS'ing. I told her, "Take some damn Midol/Motrin, get ya damn bathing suit, and be here at 1:30. That's an order, not a fucking request." This girl has been working her patootie off all summer and deserved to bask in the sun by a pool while her daughter played with the other kids in the pool.

So, that's what we did. We sat by the pool, mostly in the pool cuz it was fucking hot. It was so hot that the damn wasps decided to drink chlorinated water... I lie to you not! I was sitting next to a puddle on the concrete and this wasp looked at me like, "Move bitch, this is my water and I'ma drink it. Move your phat ass!" LOL Man, for real... can insects drink that stuff and not die? He returned 6 times within like.. 10 minutes... it was that fucking hot today!

My homegirl's daughter is such a cutie. She's Asian and black and is gonna be a knockout... Kristi and I are convinced that lil miss is gonna be dating some preppy white boys. It was fun to watch her interact with the other kids in the pool. At the same time... I was glad that I have no kids. Don't get me wrong, I love kids... but dayum... I love my freedom to come and go as I please, and I love the fact that I don't have to be responsible for another being. Man... plus, I have no hubby... and I don't want my child to be without either of her parents 24/7. Yeah, these days... there are all types of families, and kudos to all of you out there that live in different types of familial relations, but it ain't gonna be me. I don't want my child to have to roll like that.

ANYWHO...

LOL

At the end of the day, I'm glad that I decided to invite my college buddy to spend the day with me. We had a great time catching up, talking shit about folks, reminiscing about college, laughing at other people, and talking about relationship material type men. Not many of them out there. We even questioned whether we really wanna get married or not. Hmmm... it's a serious thing and it's gonna take a serious man to get me to be ready to marry his ass. Man... the same man for many years... wow... yeah, I could do it... but like I said... he'd have to be a serious and wonderful man in all kinda ways for me to consider being with him for life. I already know of one that I would be with for life... *hey G.... smiling and waving... can I have sum...* oops, sorry... forgot I was bloggin....

I go back to work, only to look forward to Saturday when I can lie by the pool again, soak up the sun, be in the water, read, and enjoy the simplexity of life.

BTW...
I've accrued some more haterz!!! Welcome, sit down, and lemme pour you a glass of haterade (yup, the purple kind, cuz that's my favorite color, and you will drink what I pour you, cuz you're MY guest, heehee)! You know who you are! Thanks for adding to my self-confidence and letting me know that I'm doing a damn good job out here!!! heehee

SUMMER LOVE

2005-07-24T16:35:00.000-07:00

1992

He was at the beach the last full week of my summer vacation. I had to go back to school the next week. My younger sis and I were hanging out in the Sand Dunes arcade, we lived a block up the street in Myrtle Beach, and in walked these two boys. We watched them for a little while, walked over to California Pizza to get some free grub, locals had that advantage then, and went to the pinball machine to play some more. All the while, still watching this tall boy with his short friend (they turned out to be cousins). They walked outside and an hour later, my sis and I decide to walk the beach for a while. It was evening, the best time to walk the beach, right after dinner. We didn't have to be in until 10pm. As we crossed the crosswalk onto the beach, the boys we had been watching were standing on the crosswalk talking with some other people we had met last week. My sis was introduced to Phil and I was introduced to Mike. Both were from Philly. And this is how the last week of my summer vacation started.

Mike and I saw each other everyday after dinner, because he was with his family AND on summer vacation. We made sure we knew what time we would be getting together everyday. I remember the way he would hold my hand or wrap his arm around me while walking the beach or just hanging out in the game room of the sand dunes. The kisses were passionate and when we separated to go home at night, we couldn't wait to get back to each other. This is when my younger sis and I learned how to sneak out of the townhouse.

On Tuesday, more people came into town and there were 8 of us hanging out. Man... we had so much fun! I was driving my "grocery getter" (Geo Metro twodoor hatch) and we would pile into it and cruise the boulevard at night. Man... such memories.

So, my younger sis and I learned how to sneak out of the house at night in order to get back to our summertime beaus! My sister was seeing Phil, and I was seeing Mike. It was my sister's idea to sneak out of the house. So.... we waited for our parents to go to bed (they stayed on the third level and we stayed on the second, the living area was on the first). After they'd go to bed, my sis would sneak into my room, and we'd wait another 45 mins so that they would be good and asleep. Then we'd stuff pillows under our sheets... ya know... ya gotta throw ya parents off somewhat! But, I'd be damned if I wouldn't have been fooled! Then we'd sneak down the stairs. Man, my ass is a heavy ass walker! You can hear me coming a mile away, but damnit, I was quiet as a church mouse going down those stairs. We learned where every creak in the stairs were and we would walk around the spots where the stairs would creak. Then, we'd get to the living area and sit on the couch and talk, QUIETLY, for another 25 mins in order to confirm that Mom and Dad had not awakened. As we got ready to leave out the back door, we decided to turn on a lamp. I don't know what the fuck we were thinking, because if we came home... it's not like Mom and Dad were dumb and would have turned the lamp off. LOL I guess we thought they'd turn off the lamp or we would be able to see them sitting in the living room when we came home. Like my Mom and Dad would have sat downstairs. SHEEIT... I'd woulda plopped my ass right down in one of our bedrooms or around the corner on the stairs just to scare the shyt outta our asses!

ANYWHO...

So, we turned on the lamps and SLLLLLOOOOOOOWWWWWWLLLLLLYYYYY opened the sliding glass door. We crept down the allies of our complex and into the streets we were! Yes, we had told the boys what time to meet us and where (3AM parking garage). My sis wanted to walk by the motel in front of our complex that was owned by one of Dad's teachers. I looked at her like she was fucking crazy. I snatched her by the arm, and we cut thru another ally towards 75th avenue. We lived between 73rd and 74th aves. After we got to 75th, we cut towards the ocean and the parking garage. We met Phil and Mike on the second level of the parking garage and had fun from there! We walked the beach and hung out on different floors of the hotels that had chairs and shit. There was one level we just sat on the floor to talk and this was where Mike and I first made out. WOW! I really enjoyed kissing him! There was no roaming of the hands, just strictly kissing and hugging. It was great! My sis and Phil had gone somewhere else. We decided to meet back up at 4:30 to go home... meeting place... the indoor pool level.

Our friend Shannon had come home and she was hooking up with Albert. OMG that girl was soooooooooooooooooooo in love! What I couldn't believe was that she gave her virginity to this dork!~ My sis and I comforted Shannon after our boys had left, because she was afraid she was pregnant. She wasn't thank god!!!! I remember he peeing in a cup and keeping it in Colby's freezer! LMAO...glad no one thought it was orange juice! I remember getting up early as hell the next morning to take Shannon to the clinic for the test. When she was done, she was crying as she turned the corner. My thought, "Fuck! Her mom is gonna kill alla us!" When we got in the car, I made her tell me what was up. She says, "I'm so relieved that I'm not pregnant!" I wanted to yell at her for scaring the shit outta me, but I was so happy we went to lunch instead!

So, anywho... Shannon spent the night with us one night while the boys were still in town. This being the night she gave it up for the first time. We snuck out at the same time and returned the same time, but this was our boys last night in town. They left for home the next day. Some of us cried, some of us just enjoyed our last moments together liplocked. We all exchanged phone numbers and addresses (this was before email). We girls had a wonderful summer to talk about all year.

Mike and Phil called me and my sis on the regular. They even mailed us Philly shirts. Mike used to spray his cologne on his letters, and I remember one letter he told me he had talked to his uncle about me and his uncle suggested that we watch "Same Time Next Year", because Mike would be back the same time next summer. The movie was about this man and woman who were in love with each other but lived so far apart, they would meet every year at the same time to see each other. Eventually, one stopped showing. Mike and I continued to write each other up until a month before he arrived for summer vacation. Little did I know that I would only see Mike once during his vacation and it wouldn't be the same. There was still a spark, and later in the year, Mike wrote to talk about prom. He wanted me to come to his prom, but there was no way. Mike returned the following year, but it wasn't the same. He had changed quite a lot and he had fallen in love with a girl in Philly. We still had fun while we were together that summer, but there was no summer romance like the years before.

mike... my summer 1992 summer love

What a summer to remember! Tell me about your summer romance (past or present).

Man's Alluring Pic

2005-07-23T07:18:00.000-07:00

Man's Alluring Pic
Good job blackplanet.com! You've got my attention, but I am not... I repeat, NOT... joining blackplanet love. Why? Cuz that FINE ass black man in the brown coat with the wool lining with his hair either twisted or starting to grow dreads is false advertisement! AND got DAYUM he is BEAUTIFUL!!! FOINE! Man, I even went to the properties of the picture just to SEE if dude's profile name, if he's a member of bp, was legit. Of course bp ain't gonna help u find the man you rEALLY wanna get to know cuz his looks got ya attention! DAYUM DAYUM DAYUM!!!! WEll... I must admit... I do enjoy the lovely eye candy when logging in to bp and being asked to join bp love. I just hope that bp doesn't take his pic down! Good googlymooglies! I get all excited every time his face pops up on my screen! What the phuck is your name, handsome?????

Damn.

MORE DAMN ROAD RAGE.... BUT
This fucker deserved this shit! I'm crossing the river, driving a 15 passenger van, driving 45-50 mph and I see this car up ahead blocking oncoming left lane and trying to turn left. As I'm approaching him I see him inch closer and closer to turning into my lane. I couldn't get into the right lane becuz of the car in my rear blindspot, so I slow down a lil bit JUST IN CASE THIS FUCKER DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING STUPID... Like pull out in front of me. AND LOW AND BEHOLD THE FAT BALD HEADED MUTHAFUKKA DID IT! He pulled out in front of me and I had to slam on brakes! Yup... I did it! I leaned forward, put my wrists on the steering wheel so I could still drive as I gave this bastid TWO fingaz! The middle ones, for all you slow readers. He proceeded to flip one back to me... so... YUP... I got dirty. LMAO I waved my fingers back and forth and flicked my tongue at him. LMAO... And proceeded to laugh at the bama! His kid in the back seat was giving me a thumbs up and laughing. I mean damn... even ya kid is rootin' for the person you pissed off? Oh... I didn't tell you that as I honked the horn at the bama when he pulled out in front of me he motioned for my big ass van to get over WHEN HEEEEEE was the slow driver and coulda proceeded into the other lane! FAT BASTID!!! Man... people do some real stupid shit out there!!!! I wonder how long he sat in the oncoming traffic's left lane. HMMMMMM..... STUPID BAMA ASS FUCKER!

MONSTER IN LAW
Cute move and some great one liners! J-Lo and Jane Fonda did a wonderful job. And Wanda Sykes... man... I love her!!! If it weren't for Wanda, I think the movie would have SUCKED ASS! Glad I got to see it for free (it was on the job) and it's a great date movie. Don't go see it with ya friends tho. I observed these two elderly white ladies during the movie. It was fun to watch them get all uptight when a sexual reference was made.... Man... I thought they were going to have a coronary every time sex or a body part was mentioned! It's amazing to see the difference in generations. Imagine that back in the day, a lady wearing a corset in a commercial or magazine ad was considered pornography. Imagine what the old hens are thinking about us now!

HUMOUROUS, BUT FRUSTRATING Sugar Honey Iced Tea

2005-07-21T15:54:00.000-07:00

THOUGHT OF THE DAY
Why do my ex's keep resurfacing? Ex's are Ex's for damn reason!

HUMOROUS PART OF THE DAY
I was riding towards my clients' apartments behind an elderly couple driving a gold volvo. I noticed a blue 4 door pontiac creep into the lane we were riding in in front of the volvo and barely miss the front of the volvo. No, the pontiac did not use a turning signal AND she wanted to turn left immediately from the righthand lane!~ Stupid ass bitch!
As we were approaching the redlight, I noticed the old couple had stopped directly beside the pontiac. I was like... Why the fuck are we stopping all the way back here... THEN I saw old dudes left hand fly up with his middle finger stuck straight in the air! This couple had to be mid 70s... and the thought of an old dude flickin off a young woman was hilarious... especially after driving by the female who made the fucked up maneuver. And his left hand was moving up and down like he seriously meant it. I swear I thought I saw him say "fuck you" too! Then you saw the old woman (who was driving) using her hands as if she were talking about what this dumb fucking assed young bitch almost did to them. The old woman was waving her hands towards the front of the car. When I rode by the young female, I had to look at her cuz I wanted to know what she was looking like after getting cursed out by an old couple. This broad looked distraught. She looked worried. Yet, she was on her cell phone all frowned the phuck up and looking straight ahead, like she was scare or something. Shit.... I found it hilarious to watch an elderly couple acting the way they did. And they prolly viewed as this wholesome married couple who have lots of grandkids. LOL Yeah... they skin was creamy WITH the liver spots!

WELL-ROUNDED PEOPLE
I am NOT talking about big ass fat people! I'm talking about the people who have taken the opportunity to listen to different types of music, visit museums to learn more about their or another's culture, someone who reads different types of books in order to gain more insight into different types of writings, someone who involves themselves in politics and actually votes on matters that do concern our future, etc. I read a blog yesterday that left me concerned about how people may view another, because of something that person may choose to do with his/her life. AND today... I was listening to The Michael Baidsden show and he was talking about the importance of experiencing different cultures in order to expand a person's horizon on life. Some of us are too hyped up on remaining a part of one culture when America is made up of so many different AND wonderful cultures. I loved living up North, because I was able to experience all types of cultures (west indian, arabic, hispanic, african-american, italian, etc.) Our nation is called the Melting Pot... HELLO!!! We all should take the time to experience AT LEAST one other culture outside of the Caucasian and African-American culture (only because they are so prevalent in the U.S. of A.). Eat another culture's food, listen to another culture's music, hit a museum to learn about another culture, HELL... hit a museum to learn more about your nation's history... what I'm saying is ENLIGHTEN YOURSELF AND BECOME A WELL-ROUNDED PERSON... FUGG what other people might think or say about you!

BODILY FUNCTIONS
We all have them (burps, farts, stomach growls, booger production... etc.) But why the hell are farts so damn funny? Is it the different sounds they can make? Is it because they can be embarrassing so we laugh them off? We don't laugh at burps (if it's a great belch, we might say good job), stomach growls, or a booger hanging from someone's nose... but if someone let's one rip... we laugh our asses off! What's up with that?

ROAD RAGE FOR THE DAY
Yup, I done did it again! I'm on my way back to my office to drop off the company vehicle so I can take my ass home for the day and first of all this dumbass chick is hanging out the window of her man's car looking like a damn fool! She has on these big ass The Fly sunglasses on her little alien shaped face and she looks like a dog hanging out her man's car window enjoying the wind blowing thru her weave. THEN this mahthafukka had the nerve to cut me off. It was cool... I took a deep breath and muttered, "Young ass bitch." THEN... the light is green... and the MAHTHAFAHCKA in front of the youngassbitch was moving "2 miles an hour so everybody could see him" in his big ass cop mobile. I'm the second car from this snail-like mahthafakka, so I honk the damn horn and yell "Comethefuckon Bitch!" Then I look in his damn car thru his rear window, still two cars back, and this bitch is looking back and forth as he is rolling thru the intersection. At this point, I'm like, FUCK THIS... and hit the gas and flew around this beeotch! I'm ready to get the fuck home, Tortoise! I look over at this fukkhead as I pass him and his girl is hanging out the damn window too! BUT... the car that cut me off wasn't rolling with tortoise, cuz he swerved around tortoise too. I was like... you mahthafahkka!!!! Why the fuck would you creep thru an intersection? HEll, we all wanna go thru the same damn greenlight YOU just went thru, fat ass!!! Ok, maybe he was lost... OK... well... if you miss ya damn road, turn around somewhere, don't slow everybody else up trying to figure out where the hell you're going! We all got places we want/need to be too, FUUUUKKKKKEEERRR!!!

Now that I feel better... I'm done.

FRRRUUUUUCKKKK!!

2005-07-20T16:21:00.000-07:00

DRIVING
Why is it that when you are trying to get somewhere everyone else wants to drive like it's fucking Sunday? My coworker is two cars ahead of me and we're both on our way home for lunch (we live in the same neighborhood). As we approach the river (that my apartment overlooks) traffic backs the fuck up. I look ahead and these dumbass SCDOT fukkers have blocked the entire westside bound lane. THEN... I'm noticing people having to jump their cars onto the median to go around a car that broke down in the lane we have to drive in. I'm like, "Fuck no! I'm not fucking up my tires. Who knows what kinda bullshit is on that median!" My coworker calls my cell: "Do you see this? Do you see how we're gonna have to jump our cars up on the median? Can you believe this?" I'm thinking... NO shit... SOMEFUCKINGBODY is gonna get a complaint from my ass. As we get closer, inching, towards this idiot who's car decided to shutthefuckdown... I watch my coworker jump her Ford Focus on the median... and I'm thinking "Why did she do that? There's no oncoming traffic... just dodge the cones!" So I did. I noticed three cars who obtained flat tires from having to jump the median, damn shame the highway fuckers can't do a better damn job! My damn lunch was short as fuck thanks to these damn fuckers who wanted to pull a treetrunk out from underneath the bridge.

BTW... all you fuckers out there who like to rubberneck (slowing ya ass down to try to figure out how/why someone is stopped on the road or why/how a traffic accident occured)... do us people who are driving to get to a destination a favor... Either turn ya fucking head all the way around till ya neck breaks OR think about the fucking traffic jam you're causing behind your nosy ass! OR... just get off the fucking road!

LAST NIGHT
I was bored and lonely as fuck! (I love the word FUCK. It makes things funnier and more interesting) I ate dinner and watched "My Wife and Kids", "One on One", "All of Us", and "Girlfriends". I called G a little after nine and he was at the Washington, DC baseball game... what the fuck are they calling that team? Told him to call me back when he and his left the game. THEN... as soon as I hung up the phone... I heard thunder. Ya'll... I LOVE thunderstorms! They relax me. I tried to find something else to watch on television, but there was nothing. So... I decided to turn off the boobtube, turn off all the lights, and lay on the couch to watch the lightening and listen to the thunder. It was great! As the rain poured down, I could feel myself drifting off to dreamworld. As I was laying there... I thought... "Wait! DAmnit! Did I just jump? Hell yeah, I did! That fucking predream hallucination!" I had "dreamt" that I had slipped in a mud puddle and that shit woke my ass up. It was cool though. I laughed and closed my eyes to go back to sleep.

TODAY (AFTER LUNCH)
I have a client who is blind and deaf. He's able to talk and thanks to his hearing aides, he can hear. Can you imagine how tough it would be if you could not hear OR see? I believe my client is pretty damn brave for wanting to learn how to function independently in the community with his disability! I took my client's to Baskin Robbins for ice cream today, and this guy truly amazed me! He was so thankful to be able to go out and purchase ice cream independently! He was worried about making a mess and thought he had made a mess bigger than he did... but it was just a drop of ice cream that melted and it wasn't that bad. He seemed to be so excited about going to Baskin Robbins. He discussed his first trip to Baskin Robbins years ago and he talked about what kind of ice cream he was going to eat (Vanilla in a cup, two scoops). He made me more alert to why I should be thankful for what I have, and he showed me that no matter what your disability, you can still go out there and do things. Think about it folks! What would you do if you had a disability that could prevent you from living independently in the community! Be thankful for what you have! And when you think you have it bad, remember.... there's always someone out there who has it worse than you!

TELEMARKETERS
First of all... get a new job! Stop calling and harrassing people!
Some Alien, non US Resident, asshole called my house this evening.
Him *in broken English and sounding Arabic*: Is Elizabeth home?
Me: *Elizabeth? Nobody calls me that except some stupid ass trying to get some damn money* "No, she's not here.
Him: What do you mean she's not there? Are you sure?
Me: I live here... I think I'd know if she was here, lives here, or isn't here.
Him: So, she's not there?
Me: Seriously, did you NOT hear what I just said?
Him: Ok, is she there or not?
Me: Talk to tone bitch!
and I hang up the phone...
Seriously... telemarketers who call to harass people, get a respectable job! Do you seriously enjoying getting hungthefuckupon? None of us real world poor people wanna talk to you assholes... no matter what! You're fucking annoying! All except that cute voiced male that actually hit on me on the telephone... you get ya props boy!!!! He was so cute! LOL Too bad ya ain't single, bruhva!

Three More Weeks

2005-07-19T16:21:00.000-07:00

And I'll be back in the company of G, if all goes well! We'll be meeting up again in NC for the weekend!

We departed ways on Sunday after checkout.

Saturday night we traveled to one of G's old friend's place so he could work with her on her business. He, also, visited with her brother. From what I understand, G used to live in Raleigh and knew these folks while living in Raleigh. Man... I was MISERABLE! After 20 minutes of sitting in this woman's house, I could feel my nose start to itch, my throat start to itch, and I became congested. I didn't smell any incense when I entered the house, but I did smell the weed. When we left, I was informed that she did have incense burning. Man, there are certain incense that I am allergic too... G didn't understand why I didn't speak up earlier.

G: "Why didn't you say anything? We could have left a lot earlier than we did."
Me: "I didn't wanna fuck up your visit."
G: "You wouldn't have."

So I'm sniffling and scratching my throat the whole way back to the hotel.

Once we arrived back to the suite, I washed my face and made me a drink, then another drink, and another drink. I was feeling good, so I let the Capt'n be.

Did I mention before how much I enjoy being around G and how horny he makes me?

Let's just say... within moments after downing my third drink... we were getting our freak on!

We got home after midnight and departed for Waffle House close to 5AM... that will tell you how long the freak lasted!

I really didn't wanna go to Waffle House, because I was sleepy and I had to drive home the next day, but G and J convinced me to go. It felt like it took forever to get to Waffle House. We ate, cut up, and returned back to the suite around 6AM. Funny how we always go home when the sun is coming up. On the ride home... I'm upfront with G (he's driving) and I've got my eyes closed b/cuz I'm so tired. I feel this hand touch my arm and he shakes me back and forth. Yup! I returned the favor. We did this several times. When we entered the suite, we both lunged for the bed. I was in first, then G slid as close as possible to me and wrapped his arms around me.

Me: "I've been wanting to do this since 8pm."
G: "What were we doing at 8pm?"
Me: "We left for your friend's house."
G: "Oh yeah. You got it now, babe."
Me: grinning and relaxed

We fell asleep and awakened around 10AM.

We just layed there watching television and rubbing on one another. Yes, it lead to other things AND....
We burned a hole in the bed before we left!

While I was in the middle of riding G, housekeeping entered the room. Nope... I did NOT stop! heehee

Told ya'll I'ma freak!

I took pics as we were departing.

I hugged J and told him to drive safely. Then I walked around and hugged and kissed G. I was already starting to miss G. I was surprised that I did not cry after leaving them/him. However, my heart was aching.

Yes, I drove to The Cookout to get my milkshake! It helped to comfort me on my lonely drive home.

As I walked through my apartment door, I felt this overwhelming feeling of loneliness and I started crying. It's amazing how much fuller my cup is after meeting G almost two months ago. I text'd him to let him know I had made it home.

G called me later that night to let me know he had made it home and we talked for while... well... until he lost his signal on his way to his house. I was informed that he/G may be living in Cary, NC next year.

G: "Ya know, I might be living in Cary next year."
Me: "That'd be alright with me." Thinking *I'd be up there as much as possible*
G: " I might only live there certain months during the year, cuz it gets so hot in the summer."
ME thinking *I don't give a damn... if you move closer, I'd be the happiest female*

Since meeting G, I look at men in a different light. When I'm approached, all I think is... "He's not G. He doesn't have a thing to offer me that G does not already provide."

I'm ready for the first weekend of August to be here...
AND I'm trying to be in MD two weeks after that.

Hey J! Sorry I made you take off that clown tee! I'm terrified of them muhfukkas tho!!!!!

G... See you soon Babes!!! Smoochez!

To ALL My readers:
Please remember that I am NOT providing you with everything that goes on in my life! Please remember that you're only receiving a fraction of what goes on between me and the people of my world! And I don't care what you think, cuz you don't know!

Thanks!
Much Love~!

Miss All Night Long

2005-07-16T13:18:00.000-07:00

I'm in Raleigh with G and J! I've been looking forward to this weekend since I found out that it was a go! I got here last night around 9ish and saw J first! It was such a great feeling to be reunited with these two! I hugged J while G was getting us checked into the hotel. J and I are talking and I turn around and there he is! Walking towards us is this liteskinned black man with a short haircut, scruffy face, inches taller than me, and my heart starts racing. What I really wanted to do was run to him and hug the shit outta him, but I didn't. I wasn't sure how to act, except civil. As he approached us, he seemed to play it cool, and I said, "Dayum! At least J gave me a hug!" (trying to press enter but the shit ain't werkin!, so this will be one long ass block) G looks at me, grins and embraces me. We walk into the room, get settled, and start talking. Just looking at G I get horny. When he talks, it makes me hornier. G has some work to do, so I go sit on J's lap and talk with J while G is completing his work. I decided I needed to shower, so I went to the bathroom to run myself a bath. After I bathed, I put on my c thru robe and walked into the main area of the suite. Yes, G and J are sitting in there. G and I are freaks, and G claims to be a voyeur and likes to watch and claims to not get jealous and will share me. So, I tried him... and it was awesome. J had switched to the couch, so I sat in the chair where we had been sitting before my bath. You know what pissed me off about my bath? I was looking forward to soaking for a while, and the gotdayum plug did not stop the water from draining out the tub. Sooooo..... I had to continue to run the dayum water while I was soaking so I wouldn't run out of water. It was a quick ass bath. Anywhoo.... so I'm sitting in the chair. As G completes his work, he looks at me and tells me to come to him. I teased him and he eventually said, "Get your ass up and come the fuck here woman!" He then got up and came to me and sat on my lap. Remember, I have on a c thru robe. I have 36 triple D tiddies and I wear a 16 in jeans, because my ass is so phat. He plays with my body, and J is still sitting on the couch. I start to get even hornier, and G gets up, and insists that I sit on his lap. I do. he plays with my clit and rubs the insides of my thighs which starts to work me up. I eventually straddle G and am facing him. J and G decide that we need some music, so J runs to the truck and gets the cd's. G and I are just horny as fuck... I could have cum while he was listening to me breathe in his ear and he was running his fingertips along my skin and through my hair. I could feel my breaths becoming quicker and quicker, my pussy getting wetter, and my hormones becoming more enraged. I look G in his eyes and he knows how horny I am, then enters J with the music. It was time for some lapdances. I still have on my robe, but it is not tied. The entire front of my body is in plain view. My nipples are hard and pussy is glistening with moisture. G's first with the lapdances. I really enjoyed dancing on him. I could feel his cock become harder and could see within his eyes how much he wanted me. I made some money too... lol.... but I gave it back. These are people I know, muhfukkas! G tells me to give his cousin a lapdance. I get up and walk around to where J was sitting. I sit on J's lap facing him and begin grinding against his lap. It starts to get hot so I remove my entire robe so that I could have more room to move AND to become cooler. Eye contact is the main ingredient to lapdances (hint to the ladies). I could see J become horny... his eyes became glossy. While I was dancing on J, I would look over to G and he was watching and seemed to be enjoying the lapdance just as much, if not more than J. He was grinning, had sex in his eyes, and was nodding his head in approval. I would give him the seductive grin and continue to grind on J. Then I decided to turn around and face away from J while still grinding on J's lap. I bet over and bounced my ass up and down on J's lap, and received a dollar for that. LOL It was all in fun... remember, I gave the money back today! I hear G say, "Okay, enough of that!" And he's standing in front of me. He bends me forward and starts rubbing my body as if he were trying to make my pussy wetter than it was. Remember, I'm still bouncing my ass on J. G sits on the table and pulls off his shorts and I insert G's dick into my mouth. His dick tasted so good in my mouth. I didn't want to stop sucking on it. J is behind me with my ass, moving it around, and smacking it just like I like my ass smacked. When he smacked my ass, I could feel it ripple. I love that shit! And when you, men, smack a female on her ass the CORRECT way, she can feel it in her pussy. So, yeah, my pussy got even wetter!!!! I can feel G's dick getting harder and harder in my mouth and he says, "Ok... it's time." J pushes me up into a standing position (he has removed his pants), G throws on a condom while J is walking to get a condom and I sit on the top of the back of the couch, G lifts my legs on his shoulders and we start fucking! HOLY SHIT! I swear it's like G's dick fits perfectly in my pussy! I can feel him on every wall of my pussy and at the bottom of my pussy. It was the greatest feeling to feel him enter me and know we had become one. Well, I didn't last long on the top of the couch. BTW... we started out with him hittin it from the back. But we both kept losing our footing so we had to find a new position. We ended up in the bed. G removed his condom and I sucked his dick some more. Did I mention how much I enjoy giving head? Especially when I see the man totally relaxed and can hear him moan from time to time. It gets me hornier. G looks at me and says, "Ready for round two?" I just grin. He instructs me to back my ass up towards him onto the side of the bed. As he enters me, I feel my pussy get WET! I think he stroked it about 5 times and I started cumming all over his dick! I told ya'll... this man's dick is like WHOA! I can feel EVERYDAMNTHING! I'm in there moaning and screaming, because I am in so much bliss and feeling so much pleasure that I can't control my noise level. After we were done, I heard a recording of me. J had returned from the store and had recorded my cumming sounds from the other room on his phone. J left while I was sucking G's dick. I think I sucked his dick for a good 45 minutes. After G and I completed our entire session, we found our way back to the living room. I had on a T-shirt, J had retreated to his bedroom, and G and I curled up together on the couch, watched some kickboxing and fell asleep. I woke up around 3AM and went to the bathroom, I thought G would still be on the couch, but he had made his way to the bed. I crawled in with him, curled up behind him, and eventually located the sandman again. This morning we woke up, cuddled while watching cartoons, I sucked his dick for a while, curled back up with him, and he eventually got up to get dressed, because, yes, he does have some business to attend to here in Raleigh. After he left, I showered, dressed, cleaned up the suite, and J and I went to Fridays to get some grub. J and I got to know each other a little better and enjoyed talking about certain women together while eating. Did I tell you all that I'm bi? LOL... I am. And I love it! I love to be able to talk with a man that I'm interested in about other women. And we usually have the same taste in women. After J and I finished eating... we decided to find an ABC store so we could get some dayum likka! the stupid ass waiter that gave us directions sent us on a wild goose chase. We ended up in another section of Raleigh (Apex) and we knew we should be in Cary, cuz we were directed to get on Cary Parkway. We drover thru 2 different shopping malls and there wasn't ONE dayum ABC store in either of them. We decided to go back to the hotel... cuz, damn, I had to shit. After I took care of bizness (yeah, it was one of those "don't anybody go to the bathroom for 35, 45 minutes. Dayum, someone open the window" type shits) J and I decided to go back on our adventure to locate the likka store. We decided to drive the OTHER way than what the stupid ass waiter told us to drive AND BOOM.... there was the dayum ABC store! I blocked J from purchasing the likka, cuz he had bought us lunch. I'ma be drinking some Capt'n and Coke tonight while J is sipping on some.... Remy I think. I don't remember what he bought. I learned one thing... well... got it confirmed anyway... while eating lunch and talking with J. ALL YOU LADIES OUT THERE.... If ya man has long hair and gets it cornrowed by another female, because YOUR ass don't know HOW TO... you betta learn! I promise you... ya man is either tempted to or HAS fucked the woman who does his hair... ESPECIALLY if the female is taking the braids out AND washing his hair! There's something about a female playing in a man's head that makes his hormones awaken! yeah, it starts out harmless, but it has the tendency to lead to other things! I've always wanted to learn how to cornrow, because I really didn't want another bitch playing in my man's head. NOW I KNOW I need to learn how to cornrow a man's hair! Can anyone tell me where I can learn how to do this? Is there a manual I can purchase? Anywhooo.... after J and I purchased the likka, G two-wayed J and informed him that he was pulling up back to the room. We showed up about 10 minutes later. G's not sure about the job opportunity here in Raleigh, but I know if he takes it, I will be finding my way back to Raleigh more often. Now he's sleeping as I'm typing this post. he looks so peaceful and angelic. Am I in love? heehee All I can do is stare at him and my heart is just fluttering away with glee. I'm ready to purchase a flight to MD for August. J is in his room asleep and I'm awake, typing this thing, watching G sleep, and watching "Little Nicky" (that Adam Sandler movie where he's Satan's child and is on Earth trying to capture his brothers). My favorite part is when the demon gets the tits put on his head, when Hitler gets the pineapple shoved up his ass (that shit is GREAT! The fukker deserves a punishment like that!), and when they say Popeyes is the shit! Cuz Popeyes is the shit! You can't go back to Bojangles, KFC, OR any other fast food chicken AFTER you eat Popeyes' chicken!!!! Dayum... now I'm craving it. While I'm in Raleigh I have to go to The Cookout (restaurant) so I can get a peanut butter fudge milkshake! You can't get those anywhere else. Well, you can, but it ain't the same! So, that is a must for me before I depart Raleigh! G brought me some UTZ potato chips, cuz you can't get those damn things in the south! And I love UTZ chips (Carolina BBQ AND Honey BBQ chips!) YUMMI! I brought G and J the bracelets I bought for them while on vacation. J's didn't fit, but he did his best to put it on... I thought it was gonna cut off his circulation. i thought it was awefully sweet of him to try to put it on and wear it! G wasn't here when I pulled them out of my suitcase, so I connected it to his shaving kit bag. not sure if he's seen it yet. The bracelets are from Indonesia (www.tenthousandvillages.com). I also brought them my company and some freakiness!! We depart tomorrow.... and I'm not ready to leave! I love being around both of them, but especially G, ya know? He's my boo! I wonder all the time that if I still lived in MD would he and I be seeing each other on the regular.

RETURNED, RELAXED. RESTED

2005-07-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

But I don't feel like blogging
Just wanted to let you know I'm back...
I'm going to rest and relax some more....
When I feel like sitting here to blog... I will!

Yes... vacation was SUPERB, FUNFILLED, AND REWARDING!